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Post by kittyforman on May 31, 2017 16:33:27 GMT -6
I think La-a started as an urban myth, but that people actually name their children that now.
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Post by CurlieWhirlie on May 31, 2017 16:51:13 GMT -6
I don't believe for a second you saw a La-a. Seconded. That is some Spicey-level doubling down on bullshit.
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Post by honeylemon on May 31, 2017 16:55:07 GMT -6
I can understand that.
I know for me, I always see what kind of names someone likes before offering suggestions. I wouldn't suggest the names I personally like if someone said they prefer names that are a different style or culture or nationality. I would research names from that culture or nationality and then maybe list some that had great meanings or were similar to the ones the OP said they liked.
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Post by alwayscheese on Jun 1, 2017 5:36:49 GMT -6
@martini, people have a problem with the BNB? I'm never here so I don't know what goes on for people to have problems with it. But I just came over to lurk that poster who lied about La-a and I saw someone side eye the name Cherish. Maybe it's not your (General you) cup of tea but these are kids names and I think it's gross to make fun of them. It makes me sad to know that a lot of people here would make fun of most of my students names. Another thing, this thread is for the crazy names people have seen. The culture of this board is mostly "don't use made-up spechul names" so this thread is somewhere for us to go and share when we can't complain irl. I can see where it comes across badly though. And to me a big problem is that some of us post names without knowing for sure if they're cultural or ethnic. I am 600% behind using a name from your culture and if I post a legit name thinking it's made-up, I will be happy if someone corrects me and I'll look at the name differently. Usually I try to check BTN, but Idk if everyone does. We could probably use more people coming in here telling us that they know someone named "Beauty"and how awesome she is.
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Post by alwayscheese on Jun 1, 2017 5:39:21 GMT -6
And regarding urban legends, last week my coworkers were so appalled because "there was a set of new twins in Pennsylvania" and there names were Orangejello and Lemonjello. I tried to explain the concept of an urban legend but I don't think they got it.
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Post by alwayscheese on Jun 1, 2017 6:30:29 GMT -6
so how would you even know what name is from a culture or not? Ya that was my point. I don't know many cultures besides my own. I would like this board to be a place where we learn about names from other culture also.
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Post by babybean on Jun 1, 2017 8:09:02 GMT -6
My stepsons name is Ojibwe and has an apostrophe. You won't find it on BTN or any other website and I'm sure people think it's "made up and speshul". If I saw someone making fun of it I would rage. I say it loud and proud when people ask and make sure they don't forget the apostrophe.
It especially hurts my heart seeing educators go in on students names. This isn't helping name a child upon request, these are existing human beings who've already been named. And often names hold a lot of significance.
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Post by babybean on Jun 1, 2017 8:57:30 GMT -6
@dietpepsi wait, no, he has an traditional Ojibwe name. His name isn't literally "Ojibwe". My bad. 😬
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Post by randomosity on Jun 1, 2017 9:04:29 GMT -6
This is a legitimate Spanish name, and one I like very much. Yeah, I've looked up most of the names to see the history of them (because I'm a nerd like that) and saw that one is legit. It's not a bad name but some of the list is...interesting.
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Post by miawallace on Jun 1, 2017 10:10:16 GMT -6
Just reading that conversation had me scratching my head.
"I love ethnic names" "I love unique names" is the same as "I have black friends, so I'm not a bigot".
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Post by ladynemesis on Jun 1, 2017 14:00:07 GMT -6
I know I've generally been a champion for the "just spell it right, damn it!" cause. I've written extensive posts explaining the historical development of names in various languages. I have also become more and more acutely aware that the position I've held is inconsistent with the values that I want to live by. I've made the argument before about names on resumes, the right way to spell things, etc. I feel guilty about it, and I should. I also don't expect or deserve any kudos for having come so belatedly to this realization. I live with a great deal of privilege as a white, very well-educated person, and the only thing about my name that might put me at a disadvantage professionally is the fact that it clearly indicates my sex. I am also that person who will mentally register it whenever anyone with whom I am speaking misuses or mispronounces a word. That has helped me a lot academically. It hasn't done much in terms of making me a good person or helping me to not be judgmental.
In light of this shift, I've been wondering about what place I should occupy in a forum like this. I think my skills have some use for people who are seeking naming advice, inasmuch as they won't end up using a nickname as a formal name without being forewarned. They also won't accidentally give their child a first and a middle name that are actually the same exact name (Elizabeth Isabella, for example). My recommendations will be shaped by my own taste and areas of knowledge (obviously), but I will try to be more honest about my reasoning when giving negative feedback on a name. I have a friend whose child is (as far as we know) female and whose name is Fi.nley. I see the name and my "Why would you give her a boy name???" button gets pushed. This is completely antithetical to how I think about all other facets of gender expression (in fact, one of my own children is gender-creative). I am not entirely sure why names are such a hang up for me on that front, but I think it has something to do with my idea about what is a beautiful name and what is not a beautiful name, and in using Fi.nley as a name (frankly, for a child of any sex) I feel like an opportunity to use a beautiful name (according to my taste) was wasted. It would be a multi-page post to unpack all of what makes a name beautiful to me, so I'll leave it for now.
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Post by helenahhandbasket on Jun 1, 2017 14:59:04 GMT -6
Ya that was my point. I don't know many cultures besides my own. I would like this board to be a place where we learn about names from other culture also. I mean the thread is here www.thencomesfamily.com/community/thread/16108/venting-conversation-work-today. Your content has been deleted but you've been quoted. And if this isn't the biggest "fuck you" to non classic names I ever heard: Edit: Quote fail. I agree with you, but as a parent, it behooves me to set my child up for success. If that means choosing a correctly spelled "real" name, that's what I am going to do and that is something I can control. What I cannot control is my race, my religion, my sexual orientation or what other people think or how they act. I am acknowledging that people have biases and prejudicices against non classic names. It's something that happens. I have a Spanish last name. If I named my child a Spanish FN, I would be worried that just by looking at my child's name, it would be assumed that English wasn't her first language, and all of the prejudices that can come with that. This was at the urging of my XH who has a very Spanish FN. I can't control what my last name is, but I can control her FN. I chose an " easy" first name for her.
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Post by CurlieWhirlie on Jun 1, 2017 15:09:45 GMT -6
I am acknowledging that people have biases and prejudicices against non classic names. It's something that happens. I have a Spanish last name. If I named my child a Spanish FN, I would be worried that just by looking at my child's name, it would be assumed that English wasn't her first language, and all of the prejudices that can come with that. This was at the urging of my XH who has a very Spanish FN. I can't control what my last name is, but I can control her FN. I chose an " easy" first name for her. I don't think anyone here is saying that you aren't perfectly within your rights to choose a name that you like, with whatever personal or cultural reasons that may go along with that choice. The rub here is when people actively scoff at, make fun of, ridicule, side-eye or otherwise judge the names of real live people (often children). Especially because there are such racist undertones in the types of names that typically are the butt of the joke. Like the urban legend that started this particular argument. And while you can't control your race or your last name or other peoples' reactions to either, and that drove your choice of name for your daughter, you *can* control your own reaction to other peoples' names that you may find "strange," and you can teach that to your daughter, too.
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Post by helenahhandbasket on Jun 1, 2017 15:23:20 GMT -6
I am acknowledging that people have biases and prejudicices against non classic names. It's something that happens. I have a Spanish last name. If I named my child a Spanish FN, I would be worried that just by looking at my child's name, it would be assumed that English wasn't her first language, and all of the prejudices that can come with that. This was at the urging of my XH who has a very Spanish FN. I can't control what my last name is, but I can control her FN. I chose an " easy" first name for her. I don't think anyone here is saying that you aren't perfectly within your rights to choose a name that you like, with whatever personal or cultural reasons that may go along with that choice. The rub here is when people actively scoff at, make fun of, ridicule, side-eye or otherwise judge the names of real live people (often children). Especially because there are such racist undertones in the types of names that typically are the butt of the joke. Like the urban legend that started this particular argument. And while you can't control your race or your last name or other peoples' reactions to either, and that drove your choice of name for your daughter, you *can* control your own reaction to other peoples' names that you may find "strange," and you can teach that to your daughter, too. I couldn't agree with you more. If you read the rest of my posts in that thread, you will see I am aligned with you. I do not tolerate urban legendy jokes with disgusting racial undertones. Also please don't imply that I'm teaching my daughter that some names are strange. Never in a million years would I do that. The linked discussion was a bunch of adults discussing names and socioeconomics.
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Post by miawallace on Jun 1, 2017 15:25:17 GMT -6
I mean, name your kid all the "classic" and "traditional" names you want, but what is the purpose of making fun of people's name choices? Why long ass paragraphs to excuse jerk behavior?
Names are such a personal thing.
I'm rolling my eyes at settings kids for success based on giving them "classic/traditional" names. We need to stop perpetuating the lie of unhireability here. It's classist and wrong.
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Post by mamallama on Jun 1, 2017 17:02:58 GMT -6
My cousins new baby boy is I.an Mic.hael. I like it.
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Post by alwayscheese on Jun 1, 2017 17:19:09 GMT -6
This is a common racist urban myth. Also a big reason why others here have a problem with this board. Just to be clear this board is known to call out people that claim to have met these urban legends.
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Post by alwayscheese on Jun 1, 2017 17:22:54 GMT -6
A couple things I want to say: The things said here have caused me to do a lot of thinking today. I respect y'all enough to realize that I might be in the wrong. I've been reevaluating some of my attitudes and how judgmental I am of others. I really want to change this. I've always really respected ladynemesis's knowledge and opinions in the area of languages and names and I respect her all the more for that post.
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Post by alwayscheese on Jun 1, 2017 17:26:50 GMT -6
I mean, name your kid all the "classic" and "traditional" names you want, but what is the purpose of making fun of people's name choices? Why long ass paragraphs to excuse jerk behavior? I hope this wasn't meant toward ladynemesis because, well, you really don't know her then.
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Post by miawallace on Jun 1, 2017 17:34:02 GMT -6
I mean, name your kid all the "classic" and "traditional" names you want, but what is the purpose of making fun of people's name choices? Why long ass paragraphs to excuse jerk behavior? I hope this wasn't meant toward ladynemesis because, well, you really don't know her then. im referring to the conversation in that link. But to your comment, no, I don't know her.
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valiente
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Post by valiente on Jun 1, 2017 20:16:25 GMT -6
Fin.ley Sky.lar - girl Sent from my HTC One M9 using Tapatalk are you and ladynemesis friends of friends, or are there two little girls named Finley running around?
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ktg
Moderator
Posts: 5,947 Likes: 32,962
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Post by ktg on Jun 1, 2017 20:21:51 GMT -6
I'm totally lurking, but I know two Finleys who are girls.
Do y'all bat an eye at girls named Lindsay? Courtney? Kelly? All traditionally boy names that changed to unisex or "girl" names.
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Post by blurnette989 on Jun 1, 2017 20:24:40 GMT -6
Fin.ley Sky.lar - girl Sent from my HTC One M9 using Tapatalk are you and ladynemesis friends of friends, or are there two little girls named Finley running around? I know two separate little girls named Finley.
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valiente
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Posts: 1,867 Likes: 6,257
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Post by valiente on Jun 1, 2017 20:31:42 GMT -6
are you and ladynemesis friends of friends, or are there two little girls named Finley running around? I know two separate little girls named Finley. I only know one Finley and he's a boy. I had to look it up on BTN. I didn't realize how popular it is!
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valiente
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Posts: 1,867 Likes: 6,257
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Post by valiente on Jun 1, 2017 20:35:24 GMT -6
I'm totally lurking, but I know two Finleys who are girls. Do y'all bat an eye at girls named Lindsay? Courtney? Kelly? All traditionally boy names that changed to unisex or "girl" names. Speaking for myself, I wouldn't. I might find it interesting if they were sisters. I wouldn't recommend them as names for a girl. ETA: what's your take?
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ktg
Moderator
Posts: 5,947 Likes: 32,962
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Post by ktg on Jun 1, 2017 20:44:08 GMT -6
I'm totally lurking, but I know two Finleys who are girls. Do y'all bat an eye at girls named Lindsay? Courtney? Kelly? All traditionally boy names that changed to unisex or "girl" names. Speaking for myself, I wouldn't. I might find it interesting if they were sisters. I wouldn't recommend them as names for a girl. ETA: what's your take? I don't mind boys having girl names or girls having boy names. Strict gender lines are not my thing in general.
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danib
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Post by danib on Jun 2, 2017 3:21:11 GMT -6
I'm totally lurking, but I know two Finleys who are girls. Do y'all bat an eye at girls named Lindsay? Courtney? Kelly? All traditionally boy names that changed to unisex or "girl" names. I don't normally play here, but I've never met a boy Lindsay, Courtney, or Kelly. All girls.
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claudia
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Post by claudia on Jun 2, 2017 7:19:37 GMT -6
This is a legitimate Spanish name, and one I like very much. Yeah, I've looked up most of the names to see the history of them (because I'm a nerd like that) and saw that one is legit. It's not a bad name but some of the list is...interesting. I think you're missing the point that it isn't up to you to determine what is and is not a legitimate name.
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Post by randomosity on Jun 2, 2017 7:21:37 GMT -6
Yeah, I've looked up most of the names to see the history of them (because I'm a nerd like that) and saw that one is legit. It's not a bad name but some of the list is...interesting. I think you're missing the point that it isn't up to you to determine what is and is not a legitimate name. Never said it was up to me but cool, got it.
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Post by ladynemesis on Jun 2, 2017 7:55:44 GMT -6
I'm totally lurking, but I know two Finleys who are girls. Do y'all bat an eye at girls named Lindsay? Courtney? Kelly? All traditionally boy names that changed to unisex or "girl" names. I have the same knee-jerk "what's a boy name doing on a girl?" reaction to Lindsay, Stacy, Courtney, Kelly, Lynn, etc.
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