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Post by Deleted on Jun 15, 2018 12:18:35 GMT -6
As someone who would nix the cat food in bed, I do think this line of discussion has reached its burn out stage.
I’m not the mayor here and obviously we can keep this going for the rest of the day if that’s what y’all want, but someone please confess something else.
The extremes being thrown around are killing me softly.
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Minerva
Ruby
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Post by Minerva on Jun 15, 2018 12:19:04 GMT -6
I’m a lot like my mom. She wasn’t a yeller, she just gave you THE look and you knew you fucked up. Like we were scared of her but didn’t quite know why. I say it every time, but if I achieve this, I will know I have reached my personal mom goal. Seems to be sort of working with DD1, but she is stubborn AF and has tried to use her own look on me. Won't work, kid. I got really good at this look when I was working w/ middle schoolers. DS doesn’t read facial cues well, so it doesn’t usually work on him. 🤷🏻♀️
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AmyG
Ruby
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Post by AmyG on Jun 15, 2018 12:19:10 GMT -6
Everyone in human society puts some value on fitting in with others, making friends, surrounded by family, getting married, holding a job are all part of "fitting in" to society around you. I don't want my kid to be made fun of, and I don't want my kid to be all alone in his world. There is a happy medium here, ya know?
There will always be someone to make fun of you even if you "fit in" and there is a mate/friend for everyone so why worry about trying to make your kid normal? Maybe you are the one projecting. yup and that's part of the learning what the society norms are as a kid, doing what you can- not to fit in perfectly- but to know where you stand and how to proceed in life. if your mom can't tell you "honey people don't do that. You should leave xyz at home. no you probably shouldn't sleep with that thing that is not a thing that belongs in the bed." who will ever tell you that something isn't the norm? does mom wait to say something until the kids at daycare are teasing? when mom could have headed that off at the pass way sooner?
Like I never said make your kid perfectly normal, or to shave off all of the corners to get that round peg. I don't have any round pegs in my family. Everyone is a square peg.
But certainly there is TONS of things we as parents HAVE to try to do to set our kids on the right path, teaching them not only some resilience and self esteem, but also knowing that some things you are not going to be able to let your freak flag fly about and not get teased.
It's a tightrope walk sometimes to find the balance, but not even trying, giving up and saying well my kid is weird/strange and that's ok, they can do whatever they want cause that's just who they are, well I don't find that helpful to either of my kid's ultimate growth as a human being.
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Post by Nonniedee on Jun 15, 2018 12:20:04 GMT -6
y'all are doing the most with the least.
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Post by Deleted on Jun 15, 2018 12:20:17 GMT -6
Last week I had lunch out with my one co-worker friend. She has a 12 year old DD that goes to school a few blocks from the office, and sometimes the girl comes here after class and sits in an empty office to do homework. (co worker is a single mom, so the boss allows it). So we go to lunch, and then co-worker tells me that she has to swing by to pick up her kid because she had a half day. OK cool. Kid gets in the car. 30 Seconds pass, and it smells like a fart, but I don't say anything. Co worker asks, "kid, did you fart?" Kid says no I didn't (she did) and now co worker thinks I did. I obviously wasn't going to call her kid out for lying, but I wanted to say IT WASN'T ME EITHER!!! Instead co worker shrugged, said "no big deal, it's natural" and we rode back to the office in silence. I am really killing it at work. omg I’m crying.
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Post by GhoatMonket on Jun 15, 2018 12:20:22 GMT -6
Most of my hobbies and interests are "weird" to most people. I spend a lot of years trying to be someone I wasn't because of people like AmyG claiming that you have to fit in to be accepted. I was miserable and hated myself. You can shove your opinion of normal up your ass and hold it in place with a pointy stick.
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Post by Deleted on Jun 15, 2018 12:21:02 GMT -6
I can’t gif. I tried.
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Post by fancynewbeesly on Jun 15, 2018 12:21:43 GMT -6
cacophony, I may be projecting too much right now, but my DD has a bunch of REALLY, REALLY good friends. She is odd and quirky in some ways, and DH and I worry about it; especially because of her hair loss and now it is starting to grow back (but similar to a buzz cut). We worry that her quirks and her looks will get her teased. So we focus on her confidence and self esteem. Because of her confidence and self esteem, she navigates the world easier because at 7 she doesn't care what people think. She knows her friends love her, and obviously family and that is what matters most.
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AmyG
Ruby
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Post by AmyG on Jun 15, 2018 12:22:08 GMT -6
You have made a lot of leaps here, and while yes I am a big girl who posted this knowing some would be like U serious ladyb? You are really starting to piss me off. My kid is 2 years old and still in diapers. Please stop projecting. Jesus Christ. Are you at least finding some irony in the fact that the person that has stated many times that she does not fit in here is droning on and on about conforming and fitting in? Yes I don't fit in here very well.
And you are saying that trying to fit in is a bad thing?
Like if I fit in here, I wouldn't be teased or asked if I'm drunk or other dismissive pokes
But then everyone says if we were all just more kind then it wouldn't be a problem to be weird in our society. ???
Fitting in here is just a microcosm of the world we live in. if my kids grow up fitting in better than I, even in their own weirdness, then I may have succeeded as a parent, even if I failed to fit in as an adult.
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Post by Deleted on Jun 15, 2018 12:22:17 GMT -6
We were in line at YMCA camp night and there was a mom and a son, a lady, and then me, H, and DS.
The lady in front of us takes her camp brochure and starts aggressively fanning the boy in front of her. I catch a whiff and, yeah, there was a fart. She is being so dramatic and over the top that I’m embarrassed and hoping the mom and son don’t see what she is doing. Meanwhile DS is like I have to go to the bathroom. We take him after we get checked out and he makes a sick poop. So he was probably the target of the dramatic ladies anger over the fart but the other kid got blamed.
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PinkFreud
Opal
Anecdotes Police-Retired
Posts: 9,898 Likes: 59,707
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Post by PinkFreud on Jun 15, 2018 12:23:19 GMT -6
Are you at least finding some irony in the fact that the person that has stated many times that she does not fit in here is droning on and on about conforming and fitting in? Yes I don't fit in here very well.
And you are saying that trying to fit in is a bad thing?
Like if I fit in here, I wouldn't be teased or asked if I'm drunk or other dismissive pokes
But then everyone says if we were all just more kind then it wouldn't be a problem to be weird in our society. ???
Fitting in here is just a microcosm of the world we live in. if my kids grow up fitting in better than I, even in their own weirdness, then I may have succeeded as a parent, even if I failed to fit in as an adult.
but do you feel good about yourself when you force yourself to fit in here? See the point?
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thatgolfb
Unicorn
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Post by thatgolfb on Jun 15, 2018 12:23:53 GMT -6
::raises hand:: I mean, the second is only 7 months old, though. She may need time to lean into being difficult. Well you are fucked now for saying that. Probably. I'm overdue for some karma anyway, what with the family grocery shopping and stroller in the aisle and all that.
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McBenny
Unicorn
#sickomode
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Post by McBenny on Jun 15, 2018 12:27:07 GMT -6
I do think there are legitimately some kids that don't tantrum. There are some kids that are just more laid back. Maybe more rare. But I am sure they exist. I'm sure they do. It's more when some people claim that no kids ever have tantrums because theirs did not. Or saying that you did everything from from birth to allow them to think that is acceptable. Thank God this some people never said that.
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Post by ladybrienne on Jun 15, 2018 12:27:38 GMT -6
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Minerva
Ruby
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Post by Minerva on Jun 15, 2018 12:28:07 GMT -6
Can we not with criticizing AmyG’s parenting now? This shit is hard and we are all doing our best. From everything she has said (not just today), it sounds like her son is very loved and doing great.
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Post by GhoatMonket on Jun 15, 2018 12:28:52 GMT -6
Well you are fucked now for saying that. Probably. I'm overdue for some karma anyway, what with the family grocery shopping and stroller in the aisle and all that. Acknowledging your errors is the first step in correcting them.
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AmyG
Ruby
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Post by AmyG on Jun 15, 2018 12:29:05 GMT -6
Most of my hobbies and interests are "weird" to most people. I spend a lot of years trying to be someone I wasn't because of people like AmyG claiming that you have to fit in to be accepted. I was miserable and hated myself. You can shove your opinion of normal up your ass and hold it in place with a pointy stick. There is nobody in my family and close friends who are normal. Everyone is weird in their own way is one of our family sayings. If you think I'm saying my kids has to fit in and be perfect and not weird or quirky, you are way way out there on that. I'm speaking greek, you don't understand what it's like to have a kid or a family that is off the grid for normal, and you WORK at mitigating it so they can function in the world as it exists, not be perfect, not be normal, but to get by. I'd probably make more sense doing as my son and posting differential equations in here.
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McBenny
Unicorn
#sickomode
Posts: 52,235 Likes: 296,828
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Post by McBenny on Jun 15, 2018 12:30:05 GMT -6
Wearing a costume to the store falls under time and place for me. That's all. Not a huge thing.
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AmyG
Ruby
Posts: 15,540 Likes: 34,162
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Post by AmyG on Jun 15, 2018 12:30:29 GMT -6
Yes I don't fit in here very well.
And you are saying that trying to fit in is a bad thing?
Like if I fit in here, I wouldn't be teased or asked if I'm drunk or other dismissive pokes
But then everyone says if we were all just more kind then it wouldn't be a problem to be weird in our society. ???
Fitting in here is just a microcosm of the world we live in. if my kids grow up fitting in better than I, even in their own weirdness, then I may have succeeded as a parent, even if I failed to fit in as an adult.
but do you feel good about yourself when you force yourself to fit in here? See the point? oh honey, I have friends here. I'm not forcing my way in here. You've missed the point. see it whizzed right past your head.
You feel good trying to make me feel bad here?
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McBenny
Unicorn
#sickomode
Posts: 52,235 Likes: 296,828
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Post by McBenny on Jun 15, 2018 12:32:47 GMT -6
I would be using that cat food bag for all kinds of future leverage.
"I don't want to carry my backpack."
Me - "You had no issue toting cat food about and even sleeping with it so you need to pick that backpack up."
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McBenny
Unicorn
#sickomode
Posts: 52,235 Likes: 296,828
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Post by McBenny on Jun 15, 2018 12:33:24 GMT -6
"I can't pick up my toys. My arms hurt."
"You weren't saying that shit when you were toting that cat food bag around." - me
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Post by imapenguin on Jun 15, 2018 12:33:49 GMT -6
As someone who would nix the cat food in bed, I do think this line of discussion has reached its burn out stage. I’m not the mayor here and obviously we can keep this going for the rest of the day if that’s what y’all want, but someone please confess something else. The extremes being thrown around are killing me softly. And just because I wouldn’t entertain the cat food coming home with me doesn’t mean I’m going to squash any and all quirky parts of her personality. It just means I’m not going to buy cat food when I don’t need cat food. It goes no deeper.
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Post by GhoatMonket on Jun 15, 2018 12:34:19 GMT -6
Most of my hobbies and interests are "weird" to most people. I spend a lot of years trying to be someone I wasn't because of people like AmyG claiming that you have to fit in to be accepted. I was miserable and hated myself. You can shove your opinion of normal up your ass and hold it in place with a pointy stick. There is nobody in my family and close friends who are normal. Everyone is weird in their own way is one of our family sayings. If you think I'm saying my kids has to fit in and be perfect and not weird or quirky, you are way way out there on that. I'm speaking greek, you don't understand what it's like to have a kid or a family that is off the grid for normal, and you WORK at mitigating it so they can function in the world as it exists, not be perfect, not be normal, but to get by. I'd probably make more sense doing as my son and posting differential equations in here.
You would make more sense if you could grasp that your way is not the only way to do things.
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Post by Deleted on Jun 15, 2018 12:35:54 GMT -6
As someone who would nix the cat food in bed, I do think this line of discussion has reached its burn out stage. I’m not the mayor here and obviously we can keep this going for the rest of the day if that’s what y’all want, but someone please confess something else. The extremes being thrown around are killing me softly. And just because I wouldn’t entertain the cat food coming home with me doesn’t mean I’m going to squash any and all quirky parts of her personality. It just means I’m not going to buy cat food when I don’t need cat food. It goes no deeper. Yup. I liked the “no nonsense” parenting style mentioned earlier. I think that’s what I am. Maybe to a fault. Like I just laugh and say no.
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Post by ladybrienne on Jun 15, 2018 12:37:16 GMT -6
I would be using that cat food bag for all kinds of future leverage. "I don't want to carry my backpack." Me - "You had no issue toting cat food about and even sleeping with it so you need to pick that backpack up." LOL yessssssssssssssssss
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Post by Deleted on Jun 15, 2018 12:39:34 GMT -6
This has officially jumped the shark.
And you know it’s bad when even I acknowledge that.
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Minerva
Ruby
Posts: 15,381 Likes: 67,036
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Post by Minerva on Jun 15, 2018 12:40:58 GMT -6
And just because I wouldn’t entertain the cat food coming home with me doesn’t mean I’m going to squash any and all quirky parts of her personality. It just means I’m not going to buy cat food when I don’t need cat food. It goes no deeper. Yup. I liked the “no nonsense” parenting style mentioned earlier. I think that’s what I am. Maybe to a fault. Like I just laugh and say no. We laugh and sing “You can’t always get what you want” to DS if he starts whining about not getting his way. He’s destined to grow up hating the Stones.
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Post by Nonniedee on Jun 15, 2018 12:43:16 GMT -6
Amy obviously hates children. She's a joy Nazi. This is the only possible conclusion.
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Post by GhoatMonket on Jun 15, 2018 12:43:48 GMT -6
I'm sure they do. It's more when some people claim that no kids ever have tantrums because theirs did not. Or saying that you did everything from from birth to allow them to think that is acceptable. Thank God this some people never said that. Good thing it wasn't you, huh?
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PinkFreud
Opal
Anecdotes Police-Retired
Posts: 9,898 Likes: 59,707
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Post by PinkFreud on Jun 15, 2018 12:44:41 GMT -6
but do you feel good about yourself when you force yourself to fit in here? See the point? oh honey, I have friends here. I'm not forcing my way in here. You've missed the point. see it whizzed right past your head.
You feel good trying to make me feel bad here?
I wasn't trying to make you feel badly. I was trying make a point. But please feel free to continue to patronize me.
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