sammysam
Sapphire
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TTC 5/14
May 14, 2018 15:27:06 GMT -6
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Post by sammysam on May 14, 2018 15:27:06 GMT -6
Sorry I'm in a melancholy venting mood today. Anticipating AF has me sad. I'll be better once it shows and we're on to the next cycle.
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Radley
Sapphire
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Post by Radley on May 14, 2018 15:38:05 GMT -6
Month/Cycle: 1/1
Timing: -1, 0, +1
CD/DPO: 16/3
Symptoms: just sore boobs and light cramping. But I always have sore boobs in the second half of my cycle.
RRCS: just in the dreaded TWW right now so nothing much.
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Radley
Sapphire
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Post by Radley on May 14, 2018 15:43:12 GMT -6
So many hugs to everyone. We are starting back TTC after taking a break after we miscarried last year and I was already dreading the “am I? Can I? Should I?” Game in my head. It sucks.
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TTC 5/14
May 14, 2018 16:38:03 GMT -6
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Post by obscureference on May 14, 2018 16:38:03 GMT -6
Tlex It’s so frustrating that there doesn’t seem to be a for sure done moment. I go back and forth between ok, I’m totally done to I want a baby right now! MH is probably ready to kill me. I’m jealous of women who know they are done having kids without a doubt.
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loorin
Bronze
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Post by loorin on May 14, 2018 16:42:52 GMT -6
Month/Cycle: 7/5 AL
Timing: -3, -2, -1
CD/DPO: 12/1
Symptoms: some spotting today which is unusual for me
RRCS: I seem to be ovulating several days earlier than I used to and I hope my eggs are fully formed when they launch... just wandering about in the ttcal mindfuck these days.
I’m sorry to hear everyone is feeling so blah these days. I hope you all are feeling a little brighter soon.
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Post by shakinros on May 14, 2018 17:25:27 GMT -6
Month/Cycle: many/many
Timing: n/a
CD/DPO: 3/-
Symptoms: still got the sads. Hoping they pass tomorrow when AF is done
RRCS: back to the RE tomorrow for labs and a baseline u/s. I don’t really want to go but when I asked DH about just skipping this month, he pulled a “I will do anything I need to if it helps you get there!” Uh, ok dude. Guess I’ll go.
I anticipate another month of treatment hassle and shenanigans with money basically falling out my ears to pay for these meds. I am a ray of f-ing sunshine.
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Post by shakinros on May 14, 2018 17:28:48 GMT -6
sammysam Tlex wildhoney and everyone else who is not feeling it this cycle... solidarity! You are enough, just as you are. Special extra shout out to sammysam. I’ve been TTC for like 20 months now, and I’ve only been here for 4 or 5. This board makes all the difference and I appreciate you x1000 for what you put into reading and responding to all of us.
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Post by wildhoney on May 14, 2018 18:00:53 GMT -6
shakinros Good luck with the RE tomorrow. I'm sorry you didn't get to skip this month, but that's really sweet for you to go for your DH. I'm so sorry you are still sad. I'm usually super sad until AF leaves. And I'm so sorry the meds and treatments are so expensive. It's all just so unfair. ((Hugs)) charliefox I'm sorry the Femara makes you feel so shitty! I'm glad you are getting a break now. I hate when O doesn't line up with our schedules. It's so hard and like we need another thing to stress us out. Hoping you guys can make it work this weekend with as little stress as possible.
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sammysam
Sapphire
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TTC 5/14
May 14, 2018 18:34:48 GMT -6
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Post by sammysam on May 14, 2018 18:34:48 GMT -6
shakinros I hope you start to feel happier in a few days. I can't imagine the extra frustration that comes with knowing that each cycle is costing money. I imagine the meds give even more hope to each cycle which must make the appearance of AF so much harder to take. I'm so sorry for that. I know if we start with an RE that will likely be the one thing I'll have to learn to be ok with. I say be sad. I think the catharsis is healing. I'm glad your H is so enthusiastic but I know the feeling of needing a break:/ And thank you for the kind words. You made me tear up reading them:)
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Tlex
Ruby
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Post by Tlex on May 14, 2018 18:43:39 GMT -6
loorin I chuckled inside about "wandering around in the TTCAL mindfuck" because that wording is so perfect. Sounds like this cycle is keeping you on your toes, keep us updated! shakinros I hope the sads pass for you soon. YH sounds like a sweetheart. Your words that I'm enough just as I am meant a lot today, thanks for saying just what I didn't know I needed to hear. I totally agree that sammysam is amazing and I'm so thankful she's here but also want to push her right out the door onto a BMB. It's confusing. 😉 charliefox femera doesn't sound fun, neither does finding childcare. Do you have family that helps? Do they know what you're going through? @scoutradly this game is the worst I've ever played! I'm like @obscurereference, I flip and flop on the spot about what I want, what I can handle... TTCAL is so tough.
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Radley
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Post by Radley on May 14, 2018 19:09:44 GMT -6
Tlex I told H that there will be days when I look at him and say “today I don’t want a baby, I don’t want to TTC.” It usually only lasts a day or two. Sometimes it only lasts an hour or two. He knows that I’m not firm on it, that’s just how I’m feeling in the moment. I used to feel so guilty about it, so I started telling myself that it’s okay to feel however I’m feeling right that second. It’s actually working okay. But I’m definitely still wondering if I should, if I can or if I am and since our break I’m only on cycle 1. I’m hoping that since my health has improved, I’ll get pregnant quicker, but I doubt it.
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Tlex
Ruby
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Post by Tlex on May 14, 2018 19:26:04 GMT -6
Radley well said! I'm always telling myself (and others) that it's ok to feel what you're feeling, it doesn't have to dictate your actions or your next moves. Just feel it, acknowledge it, let it exist. You guys are the best/I'm so thankful for this group.
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sammysam
Sapphire
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TTC 5/14
May 14, 2018 19:37:57 GMT -6
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Post by sammysam on May 14, 2018 19:37:57 GMT -6
Radley I am the same way. I flip flop almost by the minute as to what I want. SO is super supportive and has already told me that he is fine with whatever I choose...but I know how badly he wants another which is why I'm still plugging away. And I so hope you get out of here quickly!
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sammysam
Sapphire
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TTC 5/14
May 14, 2018 19:39:06 GMT -6
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Post by sammysam on May 14, 2018 19:39:06 GMT -6
Thanks Tlex ❤ And I agree. This board is the only thing keeping me sane and making me feel like I'm not totally alone.
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sammysam
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TTC 5/14
May 14, 2018 19:42:17 GMT -6
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Post by sammysam on May 14, 2018 19:42:17 GMT -6
loorin Your timing looks great! And don't worry about fully formed eggs. I got pregnant last time with O on CD 9. Here's hoping the spotting is a good sign!
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sammysam
Sapphire
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TTC 5/14
May 14, 2018 19:45:02 GMT -6
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Post by sammysam on May 14, 2018 19:45:02 GMT -6
obscureference I'm joining you. CD 1 today. At least I was expecting it but I'm a little sad that this was my last chance for another January baby. sunny75 looks like we're cycle buddies again this month! I'm hoping to O a bit earlier this month though...Hopefully around CD 12 would be good!
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sunny75
Silver
Posts: 477 Likes: 1,011
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Post by sunny75 on May 14, 2018 19:46:58 GMT -6
I haven't been here very long but I also am really thankful for all the support and encouragement this group gives! Nobody I know and even MH doesn't totally get the pain each BFN brings and it is so nice to be able to come here and talk to people who 100% get what I'm going through.
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sammysam
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TTC 5/14
May 14, 2018 19:48:07 GMT -6
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Post by sammysam on May 14, 2018 19:48:07 GMT -6
And my body is just finding new ways to mess with me. In the past my breasts always stopped hurting the day AF showed which is how I knew it was coming even if I hadn't had a temp drop yet. The past few cycles my breasts have stayed sore a day or 2 into AF. CD 1 today and they're still super sore. I hate TTC.
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Tlex
Ruby
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Post by Tlex on May 14, 2018 19:50:42 GMT -6
And my body is just finding new ways to mess with me. In the past my breasts always stopped hurting the day AF showed which is how I knew it was coming even if I hadn't had a temp drop yet. The past few cycles my breasts have stayed sore a day or 2 into AF. CD 1 today and they're still super sore. I hate TTC. How rude! 😤 @sammysamsboobs
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Tlex
Ruby
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Post by Tlex on May 14, 2018 19:52:50 GMT -6
I'm a bit of a mess tonight. There is no doubt AF is on the way and I just want to get it overwith. I'm crying, exhausted, and now my boobs suddenly feel heavy and sore. I want to eat cake and I'm trying to resist. I have a hot water bottle and a good book and I need to deal with my feelings rather than eat them. So you guys are subjected to this Dear Diary post!
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sunny75
Silver
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Post by sunny75 on May 14, 2018 19:53:35 GMT -6
sammysam, yes I was just thinking that. I'm sorry it's CD1 for you though. And that's so weird, the exact same thing is happening to me! When I was TTC the first time I always always had my boobs stop hurting a day or two before AF so I always knew it was about to start. And like you now I have sore boobs until after AF starts. I wonder if it was something to do with hormone changes? More progesterone now or something?
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sunny75
Silver
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Post by sunny75 on May 14, 2018 19:57:57 GMT -6
Tlex, That was me two days ago. I'm sorry because I know how awful it feels. It just sucks 😢
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sammysam
Sapphire
Posts: 2,707 Likes: 4,229
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TTC 5/14
May 14, 2018 19:59:02 GMT -6
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Post by sammysam on May 14, 2018 19:59:02 GMT -6
sunny75 at least it's not just me! But why why why do our bodies have to keep changing this on us! Not fair! But at least I have a cycle buddy again:)
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sammysam
Sapphire
Posts: 2,707 Likes: 4,229
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TTC 5/14
May 14, 2018 20:02:44 GMT -6
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Post by sammysam on May 14, 2018 20:02:44 GMT -6
Tlex Sorry:( I want to say don't eat the cake because it'll make you feel worse later...but I would totally eat the cake. I hope you are feeling better tomorrow and that if AF is going to show that it shows quickly and doesn't make you wait.
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sammysam
Sapphire
Posts: 2,707 Likes: 4,229
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TTC 5/14
May 14, 2018 20:04:14 GMT -6
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Post by sammysam on May 14, 2018 20:04:14 GMT -6
Tlex I also love that you tagged my boobs:) even if they are jerks!
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sunny75
Silver
Posts: 477 Likes: 1,011
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Post by sunny75 on May 14, 2018 20:06:59 GMT -6
sunny75 at least it's not just me! But why why why do our bodies have to keep changing this on us! Not fair! But at least I have a cycle buddy again:) Yes I'm excited! Even though I think this cycle you will probably ovulate earlier than me because I'll be on Clomid. So probably closer to cd 15?
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Tlex
Ruby
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Post by Tlex on May 14, 2018 20:10:36 GMT -6
Tlex I also love that you tagged my boobs:) even if they are jerks! I'm not afraid to make a call out!
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sammysam
Sapphire
Posts: 2,707 Likes: 4,229
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TTC 5/14
May 14, 2018 20:12:06 GMT -6
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Post by sammysam on May 14, 2018 20:12:06 GMT -6
sunny75 at least it's not just me! But why why why do our bodies have to keep changing this on us! Not fair! But at least I have a cycle buddy again:) Yes I'm excited! Even though I think this cycle you will probably ovulate earlier than me because I'll be on Clomid. So probably closer to cd 15? I did O on CD 15 this past cycle so there's always a chance;)
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Post by shakinros on May 14, 2018 20:39:00 GMT -6
Team #eatthecake over here
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Post by charliefox on May 14, 2018 21:24:51 GMT -6
Just want to send hugs all around! So glad I have you ladies because truly no one else understands <3 Tlex, I'm actually less worried about childcare - no family here, and they don't know anyway, but we do have close friends who know about our IF and can take DS if necessary but I can also bring him along to appointments - I'm more worried about H being able to leave drill to collect his sample exactly when he needs to for the IUI (which, if it's this weekend will be at my RE's main office which is far, far away and only adds to the timing issue). Just FX my IUI get's pushed to Monday
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