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Post by allinthegame on Apr 18, 2018 21:19:11 GMT -6
What is the packet you’re waiting on from the counselor?
If you decide you want to pursue evaluation, all you really need to do to get the ball rolling is to write a letter requesting so. It’s late so maybe I misread, but I’m a school counselor too — just didn’t want you waiting around if you didn’t need to.
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cyprissa
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Post by cyprissa on Apr 19, 2018 2:10:41 GMT -6
Just a thought from a mom further down the path and this may be 100% my issue not yours. DS1 is a late September birthday against a December cut off at our first school district. We could have red shirted him but didn’t. DA1 struggled with maturity issues from day 1. In second grade we moved states to where the cut off is Sept 1. The school system put him in the grade he was in prior to the move so he is a full year/sometimes almost 2 if the other child was redshirted. Now Academically he is grade level or beyond in 5th grade, but he still struggles with maturity and all of his good friends are his age and in 4th. I regret sending him, especially since we moved and now he is so much younger than his classmates. Puberty is starting for a lot of them at 11, but as a young 10 year old we aren’t there. He has mentioned he will always be the youngest, the last to get his drivers license, etc. I would not be adverse to him taking a gap year between high school and college. It’s hard to predict long term stuff but please keep in mind that it’s not just the early elementary years, it’s middle school and high school too. I was this kid. I was dead last in age in my class. Last to drive, last to drink, etc. I went to college at 17. I’m fine. Yes, there were some freak outs about being youngest over the years, but it eventually just was. All kids are different, of course, but I wanted to let you know from a kid who lived it, it’ll be okay!! This is me too and I was academically bored in school to boot. I didn’t turn 18 until December of my freshman year of college. I still had a really good social life in both high school and college and I’m a well-adjusted adult. |
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cmb
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Post by cmb on Apr 19, 2018 3:39:56 GMT -6
Just a thought from a mom further down the path and this may be 100% my issue not yours. DS1 is a late September birthday against a December cut off at our first school district. We could have red shirted him but didn’t. DA1 struggled with maturity issues from day 1. In second grade we moved states to where the cut off is Sept 1. The school system put him in the grade he was in prior to the move so he is a full year/sometimes almost 2 if the other child was redshirted. Now Academically he is grade level or beyond in 5th grade, but he still struggles with maturity and all of his good friends are his age and in 4th. I regret sending him, especially since we moved and now he is so much younger than his classmates. Puberty is starting for a lot of them at 11, but as a young 10 year old we aren’t there. He has mentioned he will always be the youngest, the last to get his drivers license, etc. I would not be adverse to him taking a gap year between high school and college. It’s hard to predict long term stuff but please keep in mind that it’s not just the early elementary years, it’s middle school and high school too. I was your son. I started being one of the younger ones. I switched states in middle school to one with a Sept 1 cut off, making me the 5th youngest in my class throughout high school... and I was bored out of my mind in grade school because it wasn’t challenging enough. It would have been way worse if I had been held back due to being one of the youngest. My grades actually suffered because I was so bored, I didn’t bother trying. They improved once I got more challenged in school I went to college at 17, but it took me 5 years to graduate due to transfers and not knowing what to do. I didn’t get my license until freshman year. It never really bothered me being behind my peers. I got along better with the grade above me as it was. My DH was similar- one of the youngest, but bored in school. We both turned out fine, had decent social lives and did well in college. Try not to fret too much. It very well could have been the right decision even if it may not feel like it now |
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Post by angrybacon on Apr 19, 2018 7:38:21 GMT -6
My husband and his brother are virtual twins (just under 10 months apart), both with late summer birthdays.
In their case, my H was sent “early”, and his brother started the next year. The summer after my H completed 1st and his brother completed K, they were both held back (so H redid 1st and his bro redid K). My H says it was definitely the best for both of them, and neither regrets it.
But it’s all anecdotes. I would probably have an evaluation in your shoes.
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joy
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Post by joy on Apr 19, 2018 7:44:02 GMT -6
How can birthdays be ten months apart but both late summer?
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mack
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Post by mack on Apr 19, 2018 7:45:59 GMT -6
How can birthdays be ten months apart but both late summer? Thank you, I spent the last 5 minutes trying to do mental gymnastics to figure this out. |
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joy
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Post by joy on Apr 19, 2018 7:47:22 GMT -6
How can birthdays be ten months apart but both late summer? Thank you, I spent the last 5 minutes trying to do mental gymnastics to figure this out. It’s actually just under ten so in the nine month territory. I’m guessing it’s a late August and mid-June situation? |
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mack
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Post by mack on Apr 19, 2018 7:48:02 GMT -6
Thank you, I spent the last 5 minutes trying to do mental gymnastics to figure this out. It’s actually just under ten so in the nine month territory. I’m guessing it’s a late August and mid-June situation? Those are not both late summer though lol |
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joy
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Post by joy on Apr 19, 2018 7:50:37 GMT -6
It’s actually just under ten so in the nine month territory. I’m guessing it’s a late August and mid-June situation? Those are not both late summer though lol I know! I think she just meant “summer” at best. Or are we being literal with “late summer?” Sept 21st and July 15th? Lol - the thought I’m putting into this |
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mack
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Post by mack on Apr 19, 2018 7:51:03 GMT -6
Those are not both late summer though lol I know! I think she just meant “summer” at best. Or are we being literal with “late summer?” Sept 21st and July 15th? Lol - the thought I’m putting into this She needs to put us out of our misery |
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mack
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Post by mack on Apr 19, 2018 7:53:04 GMT -6
I would get him evaluated before I had him held back. I think that "immaturity" is often actually ADHD or a behavioral disorder. I think that if you hold him back without making sure there is not something else going on, you are putting a band aid on the behavior and not getting him the help or tools he actually needs.
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swarley
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Post by swarley on Apr 19, 2018 8:12:31 GMT -6
wesleycrusher, this is a difficult decision- As someone who does this for a living....kindergarten is so rigorous now that it really isn't developmentally appropriate. I would bet that there are other children in your son's classroom who are exactly like him. The fact that his teacher is differentiating instruction for him is miraculous because teachers nowadays are so overwhelmed with class sizes that they just can't find time or help to do it. I'm a little bit curious as to what the guidance counselor feels needs evaluating. If it's an immaturity issue, and happening mostly outside of the academic environment, does your school have a behaviorist who can come observe first? They can help do a behavioral plan if needed before jumping into evaluating. Since you don't see huge red flags, and his teacher doesn't see huge red flags for ADD or other health issues, it would take a lot for him to score outside the average range on most evaluations to qualify for an IEP. For example- on most tests, standardized instructions do allow for repetition and a good tester would note in an observation section any negative behaviors impacting testing. As far as holding back- my school does not retain for immaturity- but that's a parent's option. I run my school's Student Support Team. When a kindergarten teacher brings this to the table, our team always suggests that the teacher incorporate more ways to promote independence and responsibility in the classroom.
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brux
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Post by brux on Apr 19, 2018 8:30:33 GMT -6
I know! I think she just meant “summer” at best. Or are we being literal with “late summer?” Sept 21st and July 15th? Lol - the thought I’m putting into this She needs to put us out of our misery she said 10 weeks, not 10 months. The kids are 10 weeks apart. |
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Post by imapenguin on Apr 19, 2018 9:10:17 GMT -6
She needs to put us out of our misery she said 10 weeks, not 10 months. The kids are 10 weeks apart. said 10 months for her H and his brother. |
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Post by notblanche on Apr 19, 2018 9:14:13 GMT -6
How can birthdays be ten months apart but both late summer? September and July? Maybe? |
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Post by notblanche on Apr 19, 2018 9:18:19 GMT -6
I have been reading this thread and find it fascinating. My youngest brother was born 10/14 when the cutoff was 10/15. My mom decided to send him at four/ before he turned five; he's always been the youngest. They dealt with a lot of immaturity issues in early elementary but he excelled academically and socially later on.
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Post by angrybacon on Apr 19, 2018 17:28:35 GMT -6
Lol I forgot about this. Yeah, DH is Sept 1 and his bro is July. Which isn’t late summer but it is near the cutoff date. .
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