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Post by yellow711 on Apr 18, 2018 6:44:08 GMT -6
Can we talk sleep training?
I have seen a few posts here talking about sleep training. We never sleep trained our DD (she was a good sleeper after the first few months).
When do you start? What do you do?
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Post by watermelonseed on Apr 18, 2018 7:08:17 GMT -6
I waited too long (8 months) for my first daughter. So I’m going to follow.
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Post by marygracerich on Apr 18, 2018 7:20:32 GMT -6
Ok I make unicorn night time sleepers and I don’t read sleep training books so take this with a grain of salt. With G she slept through the night at 6 weeks. At 4 months we had a a small sleep regression where for 3 nights she needed a bottle in the middle of the night. After that, I did some sleep training to help her put herself to sleep at bedtime. We let her cry it out. It took her about 3 or 4 days for it to work completely. We discovered after the 1st night that doing check ins only made it worse. She would get upset all over again. It’s hard af. The crying lasted at least an hour the first night. The second night was almost as bad. The third and 4th nights it got progressively less. By the 5th night she cried for a few minutes and then fell asleep. I *think* the reason they say it can be done after 4 months are because 1)Some babies don’t need to eat middle of the night at that point 2) They should be able to self soothe after this point. We did not have to CIO in the middle of the night because she STTN. It’s soooooo hard to listen to. Take a shower, turn down the volume on the monitor, step outside or put on headphones. Do something to not listen to the crying. It’s awful. However, it only sucks for a little while, you will not be hurting your baby, you will actually be helping them learn how to get to sleep on their own and they won’t remember any of it.
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aprilz81
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Post by aprilz81 on Apr 18, 2018 7:35:19 GMT -6
After last night I can't wait to start sleep training...
She had a long afternoon nap and slept several hours at my sister's last night. It was 12:30 before I nursed her and put her to bed and she was up several times wanting the pacifier and/or my boob. I only fed her once overnight around 5:00 but DH and I were both up multiple times each putting the paci back in. Not fun. I'm a zombie and I have a ton of work to do.
I read on Precious Little Sleep that between 3-6 or 4-6 (can't remember off the top of my head) was the time to create the bedtime routine and "rules" because that is when they are sleeping longer stretches and haven't developed object permanence. By 6 months they have and if they wake up and anything is different than when they fall asleep (aren't being held/nursed/rocked/etc.) it would be like us waking up on the front lawn when we went to sleep in bed and they get scared.
She is a little too young for sleep training but we will start working on the nightime routine and putting her down "sleepy but awake" in the next few weeks. We will be out of town this weekend so no point in starting anything until we get back.
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Post by easternshoregirl on Apr 18, 2018 8:08:41 GMT -6
My first is just a crappy sleeper. We did full extinction CIO at 5 months, just for bedtime. I've never done sleep training for MOTN. I just can't. I'd rather have a bed full of kids during the night if they feel like they need me or their dad. That said, full extinction is the no checks style. I think the checks were worse for DS. I'm not sure if we'll need to do sleep training with this kiddo but we'll see how it goes.
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cake
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Post by cake on Apr 18, 2018 9:18:58 GMT -6
We aren't there yet, but how do you know when they don't actually need food in the middle of the night? Even at this point, I know he's not getting up for comfort in the middle of the night. He eats a full bottle once or twice and immediately falls back asleep.
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Post by marygracerich on Apr 18, 2018 9:48:47 GMT -6
We aren't there yet, but how do you know when they don't actually need food in the middle of the night? Even at this point, I know he's not getting up for comfort in the middle of the night. He eats a full bottle once or twice and immediately falls back asleep. I knew when Ian wasn’t really drinking his bottles. I would make 3 or 4oz and he would take about a 1/2oz and then go back to sleep. Then I started to do a little soothing instead of the bottles and he started sleeping through the night. In a few months you can ask the dr when it’s ok to start minimizing night time bottles.
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Post by benandjerrys on Apr 18, 2018 10:35:11 GMT -6
I thought sleep training wasn't recommended until 6 mos? Have the guidelines changed?
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bassa
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Post by bassa on Apr 18, 2018 12:29:13 GMT -6
We sleep trained DD1 at 12 months. Yup, we went a loooong time with too many middle of the night wake-ups. But it took a certain level of exhaustion and being fed up for me to be ready.
So around midnight one night I just hit rock bottom and said THAT'S IT. WE ARE SLEEP TRAINING STARTING RIGHT NOW. Put her in her crib, said, "I love you, it's time to go to sleep, I'll see you in the morning." She cried 45 minutes the first night, 15 minutes the second night, just a couple the third, and then she slept fine after that.
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Post by flippinchica on Apr 18, 2018 15:06:15 GMT -6
I thought sleep training wasn't recommended until 6 mos? Have the guidelines changed? There are multiple opinions on this and some people say after 6 months. Others say after the 4 month sleep regression. I think it depends on your technique/definition. You can definitely work on sleepy but awake earlier but full on cio I personally wouldn't do till baby can roll and put himself in a comfortable position. With DS1 it got to the point he was waking every hour after object permanence set in. That was about 7.5 months when I hit the end of my rope. Our rules ended up bedtime routine with nursing at the beginning of the routine and bedtime at 8 then don't go back on before midnight. Then I would feed and put right back down. Then I wouldn't go in until at least 3 hours after the motn feed. This usually ended up with me pulling him into bed around 5 am. I weaned the motn feed at about a year.
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Post by flippinchica on Apr 18, 2018 15:11:46 GMT -6
I am a precious little sleep devotee. The main thing is getting them to fall asleep at bedtime without your help or sleep associations. If you can do it gradually before they hit object permanence (usually 6ish) months you are in great shape. If not, time for cio in my opinion.
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ajetter
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Post by ajetter on Apr 18, 2018 15:22:55 GMT -6
We will definitely be sleep training at some point. Her night sleep is great, but she doesn’t fall asleep on her own, and has stopped putting herself back to sleep during naps, making them last only 25-40 minutes.
We used the Ferber method with DD1 and 2 at 6 Months because they weren’t falling asleep on their own. DD1 took to it like a champ, DD2 was a little slower to catch on but ultimately it wasn’t too bad.
DD3 couldn’t fall asleep on her own and started waking every 45 minutes. Sometimes staying up for 2 hours. We tried to switch to extinction because Ferber was just making her cry harder. And she still cried for more than an hour each night for over a week. It was horrible. We gave up. She stopped waking every 45 minutes but overall was still a shit sleeper and wouldn’t fall asleep without a boob. Until one day when she was 14 months and she randomly quit nursing cold turkey. Had no interest. I put her in her crib, she waved and said “night night mama” and has slept through the night ever since. It was so incredibly bizarre. It ended up coinciding with me getting pregnant (ended in miscarriage but still), so that might have had something to do with it. But still, so weird.
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Post by benandjerrys on Apr 18, 2018 19:47:29 GMT -6
I am a precious little sleep devotee. The main thing is getting them to fall asleep at bedtime without your help or sleep associations. If you can do it gradually before they hit object permanence (usually 6ish) months you are in great shape. If not, time for cio in my opinion. That is why I'm always shouting from the rooftops about eat, play, sleep. It made falling asleep NBD and allowed me to hand the bedtime routine over to MH after nursing so he could do stories if I needed a break. We were f*d for motn wakeups though. I am not a good parent motn so I would resolve to do CIO at a wakeup but then when that wakeup came I would stuff the boob in her mouth so we could all go back to sleep. She didn't start sttn regularly until 20 mos.
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Post by helloerrbody on Apr 18, 2018 20:55:45 GMT -6
I did sleep-training with DS1 at 6.5 months. I would have done it a little sooner but he had surgery right at 6 months so I wanted him to recover from that fully first. We had been co-sleeping and it had stopped working well (DS was waking a lot and just overall restless), so I was ready for him to get into his crib. We ended up doing extinction because checks made him escalate even more. The first 2-3 nights were hell. I drank a lot of wine while watching Friends and having the video feed of him on mute. After that first week, he went to bed entirely on his own in his crib.
Then I accidentally did MOTN weaning when I got hammered at a Friendsgiving and turned off the video in the MOTN. He STTN ever since then (around 7.5 months).
I will definitely sleep train again as it was a huge success for us. I am using the RNP and co-sleeping now but will transition to crib around 6 months.
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amesie
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Post by amesie on Apr 18, 2018 21:07:53 GMT -6
We sleep trained DD1 at 12 months. Yup, we went a loooong time with too many middle of the night wake-ups. But it took a certain level of exhaustion and being fed up for me to be ready. So around midnight one night I just hit rock bottom and said THAT'S IT. WE ARE SLEEP TRAINING STARTING RIGHT NOW. Put her in her crib, said, "I love you, it's time to go to sleep, I'll see you in the morning." She cried 45 minutes the first night, 15 minutes the second night, just a couple the third, and then she slept fine after that. this was exactly me! I was so against CIO for so long. But I had to reach my wits end to be ok with it mentally. It was a week before her 1st bday. She cried 30 min the first night, 10 the 2nd, and maybe 2 minutes the 3rd night and she’s been STTN ever since!! I will be doing it much sooner this time around if need be.
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Post by maddisonrose on Apr 18, 2018 21:18:43 GMT -6
We aren't there yet, but how do you know when they don't actually need food in the middle of the night? Even at this point, I know he's not getting up for comfort in the middle of the night. He eats a full bottle once or twice and immediately falls back asleep. I would say that he still needs to eat then. When Maddox wakes in the motn he will barely eat more than 2oz so I now he’s not waking up hungry. He also makes it through most nights now so I would say wait until he starts waking less and eating less
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Post by sunfrogger on Apr 19, 2018 3:40:28 GMT -6
My DD1 was night weaned at 15mo. I feel yall here.
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cake
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Post by cake on Apr 19, 2018 6:57:44 GMT -6
We aren't there yet, but how do you know when they don't actually need food in the middle of the night? Even at this point, I know he's not getting up for comfort in the middle of the night. He eats a full bottle once or twice and immediately falls back asleep. I would say that he still needs to eat then. When Maddox wakes in the motn he will barely eat more than 2oz so I now he’s not waking up hungry. He also makes it through most nights now so I would say wait until he starts waking less and eating less He’s only 3 months so I know he’s not ready yet. Both you and marygracerich mentioned that they stopped eating as much in the middle of the night, so I’ll be on the look out for that. Thanks!
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ajetter
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Post by ajetter on Apr 19, 2018 8:12:53 GMT -6
I really really really want to work hard on the falling asleep on her own business. Any suggestions on how to work on that at 3 Months? Yes, the fourth time mom still can’t figure shit out. 🤷🏼♀️
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Post by flippinchica on Apr 19, 2018 9:15:42 GMT -6
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Post by benandjerrys on Apr 19, 2018 19:05:50 GMT -6
ajetter, this is prime time to work on it! I put Joel in his Merlin and lay him in the PNP, let him fuss (not cry). I tell him that I want him to work on falling asleep on his own, but that im here will him and I will help if he needs me. If he's still fussing in a few minutes I pick him up and rock him for a minute then try again, say the same thing and stay by him. We're getting 1-2 naps this way and sometimes bedtime if he doesn't fall asleep nursing. If he cries at any point u try something else (bouncing, nursing, etc) and I just realize that he is overtired and try again next time. Oh, with DD, I would give her a little jostlw when I put her down if she was asleep. Just enough to wake her up so she could practice going to sleep on her own 😁. Good luck!
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snowyowl
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Post by snowyowl on Apr 19, 2018 21:29:51 GMT -6
I sleep trained DS1 at around 5 months when I went back to work. We tried doing it with checks because extinction felt so harsh... but it definitely made things much harder. He would ramp right back up. Extinction worked in about 2-3 nights. However, he wasn’t waking up MOTN very often at that point, so sleep training was just to establish a regular bedtime because he was up until midnight every night.
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Post by Deleted on Apr 19, 2018 21:37:51 GMT -6
I sleep trained DD1 around 8 months - DH was working late shift (3-midnight) and I was desperate. It worked beautifully and she is an excellent sleeper. For DD2 DH was working day shifts and he refused to let me sleep train her because he said it was too cruel 🙄 she turned 2 in March and still has occasional night wakeups.
DD3 is an excellent sleeper so far but we have been having a few more wakeups as we transition from breastmilk to exclusive formula. If those kinks don't work themselves out I will literally send my husband to a hotel for a weekend so I can sleep train. I probably will wait until she is 6 months old or so though.
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Post by Deleted on Apr 20, 2018 5:12:54 GMT -6
We never did sleep training with DS1. I need to work on DS2 laying flat on his back to sleep instead of a bouncy or the swing. Problem is he wakes himself after about 20 minutes and if he cries too much he projectile spits up.
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Post by marygracerich on Apr 20, 2018 5:41:39 GMT -6
I need sleep training for myself. Maybe my shitty sleep as a baby ruined me. My parents used to have to drive me around in the car to put me to sleep.
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Post by easternshoregirl on Apr 20, 2018 6:00:04 GMT -6
Trying to figure out when to transition to crib...she is doing so well in the RNP and I don't want to give that up. BUT, I don't want it to be a "omg we have to transition now b/c she is rolling" situation. Right now she can do drowsy but awake and fall asleep on her own fine in the RNP. I guess I should just rip off the bandaid and switch her one night. I have all sorts of sleep blankets. Any thoughts on which would be the best one to use for getting her in the crib? the Merlin? I just got a Zen swaddle with the weight too, I'm wondering if that might be a good one. We do naps in the swing, I'm not worried about changing anything about that for now. I picked up a swing through swap and sell for my mom at her house so she can use one for naps too!
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ajetter
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Post by ajetter on Apr 20, 2018 8:17:45 GMT -6
flippinchica benandjerrys thanks for those tips! Right now I can’t set her in the RnP and rock it (because we don’t have an automatic one) 🙄 and she fusses, but will fall asleep pretty quickly. We’ve had some success with her falling asleep on her own in there (without rocking) and twice in the crib. But it’s not consistent. I guess I’ll just keep at it. I just know at 14 weeks today, I’d like to start the transition to sleeping unswaddled and in the crib, and falling asleep on her own. I feel like falling asleep on her own would make all the other transitions easier though right? I should try to tackle that first? She still spits up a considerable amount and also has quite the cold at the moment, so I’m not planning to go hard core on crib sleeping.
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Post by benandjerrys on Apr 20, 2018 8:22:17 GMT -6
I feel like falling asleep on her own is key to mama sanity and everything else follows. But that is my personality. Hell no to laying down with my 5 yo to fall asleep. But I have friends that do that or nurse toddlers to sleep and it's fine for them. But it's not for me.
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Post by benandjerrys on Apr 20, 2018 9:27:09 GMT -6
easternshoregirl we tried the zen sleep sack when we transitioned out of themerlin with DD and I found it useless.
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Post by easternshoregirl on Apr 20, 2018 9:34:38 GMT -6
easternshoregirl we tried the zen sleep sack when we transitioned out of themerlin with DD and I found it useless. So did you go regular swaddle to merlin to zen? And all was well until the zen? Just trying to plan my escape from the swaddle! And the rnp.
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