jorkzy
Emerald
Posts: 13,786 Likes: 73,502
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Post by jorkzy on Apr 14, 2018 9:07:37 GMT -6
I'm sorry mack. I agree with everyone - don't worry about it and get your h or anyone really to take them outside if needed during the service. Focus on you. ❤️
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Post by Deleted on Apr 14, 2018 9:15:12 GMT -6
I had no idea. I’m very sorry for your loss mack.
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origami
Amethyst
Posts: 6,443 Likes: 46,616
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Post by origami on Apr 14, 2018 9:44:23 GMT -6
I’m so sorry Mack. I’ll echo that everyone is under duress at funerals so no matter how your kids are I don’t think it will be seen as out of line and I would imagine they will do fine and be a welcome distraction.
We had all the kids at my dads funeral and it was surprising how many distant relatives engaged with them in what was probably a mutually beneficial relationship, ie kids remind people of life, and the kids were better behaved because they were being engaged.
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Bookshelves
Emerald
Generally at a 2
Posts: 11,561 Likes: 104,425
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Post by Bookshelves on Apr 14, 2018 10:19:25 GMT -6
I'm so sorry for your loss, mack.
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Post by Uncaripswife on Apr 14, 2018 10:24:20 GMT -6
I'm sorry for your loss, mack.
My grandmother died when I was 7 and I think I just wanted to be with my mom and dad. I went to her wake and the funeral mass. I was raised Catholic, so I understood that she had gone to heaven. Let yourself grieve as you need to, and your kids will grieve as they need to, as well.
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hawkward
Global Moderator
Loss, Infertility
Posts: 19,638 Likes: 123,092
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Post by hawkward on Apr 14, 2018 11:00:26 GMT -6
My dad was cremated so no body or casket. But I am going to have to explain about cremation and that should be interesting lol. DS1 has a bit of a death obsession, but cremation was shockingly easy to explain to him. We talked about how his grandmother got a perfect new body in heaven and didn't need her sick one anymore, so she asked people to turn her back into carbon because that's what the earth is made of. He took it well and said when he dies he wants to be cremated too.
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Post by Emmentaler on Apr 14, 2018 11:11:56 GMT -6
I’m sorry for your loss and thinking of you and your family.
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Post by vandelay on Apr 14, 2018 11:12:38 GMT -6
I'm so sorry for your loss mack.
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Post by CurlieWhirlie on Apr 14, 2018 11:13:36 GMT -6
I’m sorry for your loss. You’ve gotten good advice/validation of your plans so I just wanted to add my hugs and condolences.
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wakemom
Platinum
Posts: 1,153 Likes: 2,581
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Post by wakemom on Apr 14, 2018 11:33:10 GMT -6
I’m so sorry for your loss mack. At my dads funeral we let my daughter (8) go in before everyone else and decide if she wanted to be in the auditorium during the funeral and she declined. My mother’s churh had a daycare room available for kids. Sending you big hugs and prayers.
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Post by goldenbird on Apr 14, 2018 11:35:49 GMT -6
I'm so sorry for your loss mack. Hugs for you during this difficult time.
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sterling
Global Moderator
GD
Posts: 15,049 Likes: 130,319
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Post by sterling on Apr 14, 2018 13:45:40 GMT -6
Just wanted to say I’m sorry for your loss. Hugs, friend.
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talon
Gold
Posts: 718 Likes: 1,347
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Post by talon on Apr 14, 2018 14:54:41 GMT -6
I'm so sorry for your loss <3
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Post by Deleted on Apr 14, 2018 15:21:32 GMT -6
I’m so sorry for your loss.
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gussie
Amethyst
Posts: 6,331 Likes: 18,769
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Post by gussie on Apr 14, 2018 15:32:09 GMT -6
I’m so sorry for your loss ❤️
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CeeBug
Opal
Posts: 8,072 Likes: 41,567
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Post by CeeBug on Apr 14, 2018 16:55:30 GMT -6
I'm sending prayers for your family this weekend.
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ajm
Platinum
Posts: 1,092 Likes: 2,874
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Post by ajm on Apr 14, 2018 17:18:26 GMT -6
I'm sorry for your loss mack. I don't have much other advice than pp. I think it's a good idea to have someone dedicated to your kids so you don't have to worry about them. This is what we did when my sister died and when my MIL died with our 2 yr old. It really helped.
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bobyn
Diamond
local baby-making menace
Posts: 27,015 Likes: 165,746
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Post by bobyn on Apr 14, 2018 17:32:14 GMT -6
My dad was cremated so no body or casket. But I am going to have to explain about cremation and that should be interesting lol. We had a funeral for MIL before she was cremated, so B got both explanations. We talked about different ways people are taken care of once they have died, whether by burial, cremation, or body/organ donation. We told him it was usually based on what that person wanted for themselves and that they made it known when they were still alive, to which he said "I do NOT want to be cremated!" As for the actual wake/funeral service, I want you to release yourself from stress or guilt if the girls get loud or need to step outside. I'm sure anyone would offer you nothing but love and grace in your situation.
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McBenny
Unicorn
#sickomode
Posts: 52,186 Likes: 296,694
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Post by McBenny on Apr 14, 2018 18:12:37 GMT -6
Mine go everywhere with me. I'm not telling you what to do I'm sharing what I've done.
They go. I told them about the body. I told them. Some people might act a fool and be overcome by emotion.
At the last we had falling out, a fight, screaming and jumping. All went well.
Theyve been going since way young.
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Post by brewcitygal on Apr 14, 2018 18:13:10 GMT -6
I'm very sorry for your loss. I'll be thinking of you and your family.
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mack
Amethyst
Posts: 6,437 Likes: 49,767
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Post by mack on Apr 14, 2018 20:05:56 GMT -6
Thank you all so much for your kind words and advice. We had dinner at my dad/stepmoms house with my close family. I am more nervous now because A was acting like a belligerent, drunk person (I think she’s over tired). But the wake is kind of in two sessions and it sounds like the second one is really only mandatory for me, my brother and my step mom, so MH can take them elsewhere when the girls will be at their most cranky.
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Post by shambam08 on Apr 14, 2018 20:12:30 GMT -6
I’m so very sorry for your loss.
My girls (5 and 7) were very well behaved when we were at my grandma’s funeral. I think they picked up on the tone of the events and behaved accordingly. They did spend time in the family room with their older cousins during the visitation. Would this be a possibility for your children?
My girls have been to a few funerals and they tend to be very curious as well. Don’t be suprised if they ask to go up to the casket (if it’s open) many times. They may also ask questions, so I’d try to mentally prepare for that as well. We are also Christians and talked about how our loved one was in heaven with a brand new, healthy body and they didn’t need the one we were seeing anymore.
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Post by lucilleaustero on Apr 14, 2018 20:49:28 GMT -6
I am sorry for your loss mack.
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Post by seamonster on Apr 14, 2018 22:38:15 GMT -6
I'm sorry for your loss.
I would scope out a room or space someone could take them to if it gets to be too much, and have someone designated to take them out. Is there a teenage cousin who could take them so your H could stay for you? For my dad's funeral my teenage niece was in the nursery handling the little kids. On the other hand my cousins' kids are the same ages as your kids and they did fine sitting through the whole tbing.
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adelbert
Amethyst
Posts: 7,001 Likes: 40,198
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Post by adelbert on Apr 15, 2018 4:55:33 GMT -6
I'm so sorry mack. I'm sure your kids will do well. Hugs.
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Minerva
Ruby
Posts: 15,381 Likes: 67,036
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Post by Minerva on Apr 15, 2018 6:31:31 GMT -6
I’m sorry for your loss mack. You and your family are in my prayers today.
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Post by Nonniedee on Apr 15, 2018 7:52:33 GMT -6
Just coming in to send my condolences. Sorry for your loss.
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cyprissa
Platinum
Posts: 1,293 Likes: 2,379
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Post by cyprissa on Apr 15, 2018 8:36:18 GMT -6
I’m sorry for your loss. My FIL died when my kids were 3 and 5 so younger than yours and it wasn’t too bad. We did let them run around and have fun at the funeral luncheon and fortunately my family wrangled them for us.
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Kida
Emerald
Posts: 11,645 Likes: 40,582
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Post by Kida on Apr 15, 2018 8:59:28 GMT -6
Thinking of you mack, I'm so sorry for your loss.
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Post by PandaWatch on Apr 15, 2018 11:27:51 GMT -6
I’m so sorry for your loss mack
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