TFAS 3/6

[mara005]

Age of LO(s): 8 and 2.5 years (boys 😊)


Month/Cycle: 1


CD/DPO: CD 11


Timing: We shall see


RRCS: Not exactly sure that this acronym is but I'll use this space to explain myself, haha.
So I have 2 kids, my older son we didn't try at all, we were newlyweds and I was just iff BC. Just after he turned 3 I got became unexpectedly pregnant again but that ended with a loss at 11 weeks. After I went on to have an ectopic pregnancy that ruptured and a natural miscarriage before having my rainbow baby in Aug. 2015. So my boys have a 5.5 year age gap which has it's benefits and faults.
Anyway, I'm doing opks this month, trying not to stress about it. For the foreseeable future I'm not going to let DH know when I'm ovulating but entice him if I feel like it around O time. Trying for my youngest was very stressful and hard so I would love for that not to be the case again. We are going to ttc but if I have more than a couple losses again, we will stop trying and be content with our sons.

[Yogurt]

Hi mara005! I'm sorry for your losses and I hope your stay here is brief. Rrcs is rants raves and chart stalks (if you are using fertility friend to track your cycles).

[sammysam]

mara005 tell me about how you're finding the age difference. If we end up getting pregnant again that will likely be close to what our age gap will be. Also welcome and so sorry for your losses! I hope things work out for you guys quickly.

[sammysam]

Yogurt Your temps look really different this cycle. My best guess is that today was your pre O dip. If your temps are up tomorrow then I imagine today is O.

[sammysam]

Bluebird I completely understand being done with TTC sex. I hope your next treatment cycle gets you out of here and on to a BMB!

[Yogurt]

Mar 8, 2018 19:01:11 GMT -6 sammysam said:

Yogurt Your temps look really different this cycle. My best guess is that today was your pre O dip. If your temps are up tomorrow then I imagine today is O.

Yeah, I've never o'd later than cd18, usually day 16? But it might be different this month, who knows. I will try to bd today and that will leave me with good timing no matter what. I did have a fever in the beginning of this cycle, so I have some discarded temps. We'll see.

[hoosiermama76]

Hi, all. I haven’t been on here in a long time. I’ve mostly been in the INF board or the TFAS. There seems to be so much more activity here and so many familiar faces.

I’ll reintroduce myself. I’m 42, and my DH and I have been married almost 8 years. We have a DD who is 3.5. When she turned two, we started trying again. I mistakenly thought that even though I was 40 at the time that because I was nearly 38 when I fell pregnant the first freakin’ month (so so unbelievable and filled me with such false confidence), I just figured it would happen within six months and that I wouldn’t even need a RE. That was a year ago, and TW:

The first IVF cycle I got pregnant and miscarried early. The next one ended up being a freeze all. I since then have had two transfers, the first a BFN and the second was another early loss. No more embryos. And I’m 42.

TW over:

So, here I am, starting from scratch. I can’t even remember the last year. A blur of ultrasounds, appts, childcare for medical procedures, and thinking and thinking and thinking about it. I finally just feel like I want to move on and just try to be a better mom to the one that I got, but we are still trying. This month was Clomid days 3-7 and my first ultrasound on day 9 showed many follicles but none mature and a shit lining. I have lining issues so I’m not sure what I didn’t do femara instead. Anyway, I go back Monday to see what is up and then hopefully trigger and do a IUI. I have a couple tries in me maybe for a IUI, but we have already discussed embryo adoption, and honestly, that sounds so much better. I have cried so much that I have basically mourned the loss of having another bio child, but it isn’t even about my eggs any more. It’s just about being a mom again to someone else. Of course, I still pray and obsess and hope that some miracle will happen, but I hope you all will take me here because even though I may not be trying with my own embryos, I’m still TFAS:)

[purple]

Welcome, mara005 and hoosiermama76. I am so sorry for your losses.

This is a very supportive thread. There is also a TTC After Loss thread, where you'll see several of the same faces.

I think I'm probably out for this month. We're approaching my most fertile time and we haven't dtd since my period ended. H has a big work deadline on Tuesday so he's very stressed, and I've been under the weather all week as well. Of course I haven't given up. It only takes once and we may well have good timing. But I know that when my H starts talking about how much he wants to have sex and not responding to my advances in the slightest, is usually means he has too much on his mind. So I'm trying to be realistic.

[sammysam]

hoosiermama76 Nice to see you here! Sorry the past year has been so crap. And you can absolutely come here! Everyone is very supportive and the more faces the better:) I hope one if your last few IUIs work out for you. I know how terrible it feels TFAS. It's just like treading water. Everything else feels like it's on hold. I'm hoping things get better from here!

[sammysam]

Yogurt How did your temps look today?

[Yogurt]

Mar 9, 2018 9:55:49 GMT -6 sammysam said:

Yogurt How did your temps look today?

They were up! So I'm sure you were right and I o'd yesterday. We did not dtd again, so that would put us at -2, -4 this cycle. The opk is still pretty dark though, 4 days after my first blazing positive. I've never had that. It's always, just about evenly dark one day, blazing positive the next, then clearly neg. Very strange cycle.

[Yogurt]

See? Really quite dark still, but I would count this as a negative, I guess. Just weird 4 days later

[mara005]

Mar 8, 2018 18:58:31 GMT -6 sammysam said:

mara005 tell me about how you're finding the age difference. If we end up getting pregnant again that will likely be close to what our age gap will be. Also welcome and so sorry for your losses! I hope things work out for you guys quickly.

My oldest (F) started school about a month after R was born so he would go do his thing all day, learn, play, make friends and I would have all my attention on R. So there hasn't been much jealousy on his part that I can tell but they do fight over things. Thankfully F is old enough to understand when he can't get what he wants always. And he knew about the losses we had so he was excited to have a sibling finally. R has not been the easiest baby/toddler but F has been great about the crying, screaming, etc that has flooded the house over the last couple years. The peaceful, loving moments between them makes their age difference irrelevant. ❤

[sammysam]

Yogurt I'm glad it went up so you at least have some idea what's going on. And your OPKs are crazy! But your timing is pretty good so maybe the wonky cycle will end up being a good thing!

[sammysam]

mara005 Aww. That is lovely to hear! My DD started school last year (montessori classroom so she will be in the same class until she is 6) so if we do luck out with a second then she would already be used to being at school all day anyways. I'm just a little worried because she is quite adamant about not wanting another baby in the house. It is pretty much just her and I 99% of the time so I'm a little concerned about how she would take it. But I'm hopeful that if it does happen we would have a similar experience to yours:)

[sammysam]

I had a pretty serious talk with SO tonight. We talked about all of my concerns. I told him today that I am willing to go 5 more cycles and then no more. He took it well. I could see he was disappointed but he tried not to let it show. He said we could stop trying now if it was what I wanted. But I told him I could do 5 more. Realistically if we get to that point I'll reevaluate depending on how I'm feeling, but it was nice to hear that he was fine with whatever decision I made. Just hearing him say we could stop now if I wanted took so much of the stress off of me. I'm feeling good about out talk and feeling good heading into our next cycle. EOD starts in a few days already.

[Yogurt]

sammysam I'm so glad it went well and he was supportive. The outside stressors make all of this so much worse than it already is.

[shakinros]

Question I should know the answer to by this point...

How long till the hcg shot has definitely 100% left my system?

I’m 11dpo today. Haven’t tested yet - partially because I’m petrified of false positives, partially because I know this cycle has basically zero chance.

And yet hope springs eternal and I want to test. Tomorrow ok? Wait till Tuesday? WWYD?

[Yogurt]

Mar 11, 2018 8:33:32 GMT -6 shakinros said:

Question I should know the answer to by this point...

How long till the hcg shot has definitely 100% left my system?

I’m 11dpo today. Haven’t tested yet - partially because I’m petrified of false positives, partially because I know this cycle has basically zero chance.

And yet hope springs eternal and I want to test. Tomorrow ok? Wait till Tuesday? WWYD?

Did you test after the shot and see any negatives? That how it works right? Youll get false positives, then negatives, then hopefully real positives?

[shakinros]

Mar 11, 2018 13:17:36 GMT -6 Yogurt said:

Did you test after the shot and see any negatives? That how it works right? Youll get false positives, then negatives, then hopefully real positives?

That is how it works. I didn’t test for negatives though. Presumably it’s out of my system by 10dpo, but I still feel really paranoid about false positives.

[Yogurt]

Mar 11, 2018 14:35:29 GMT -6 shakinros said:

Mar 11, 2018 13:17:36 GMT -6 Yogurt said:

Did you test after the shot and see any negatives? That how it works right? Youll get false positives, then negatives, then hopefully real positives?

That is how it works. I didn’t test for negatives though. Presumably it’s out of my system by 10dpo, but I still feel really paranoid about false positives.

I understand wanting to wait. False positives would gut me. I've gotten in the habit of waiting until 12-14 dpo. I'd rather see AF than another bfn. Good luck to you.

[remi]

I got a positive OPK on Saturday and then again yesterday, but I'm not sure when that means I O'd. We DTD last Wednesday, Friday, Saturday, and last night. So I'm hopeful that our timing was good. I think we are even going to do it tonight just to be sure.

Hi to the new faces!

sammysam, So glad you got to talk to SO about your concerns and that he was receptive. I'm so happy you had that stress taken from you!

Yogurt, I've got everything crossed for you!

mara005, whenever we get pregnant we will have a large age gap as well. My DD is 5.5 and will be starting Kindergarten in the fall. She used to talk about how much she wanted a sibling and then just this weekend said she never wanted a brother or sister. So. She actually got upset that I said I would want another baby when she asked me.

[remi]

this was yesterday’s.

saturday at 3:45pm

Saturday 10:45pm

[Yogurt]

remi, I would interpret Sunday as positive and expect to o any Tom in the next 24 hrs. The others look close but not there. Good luck!

[remi]

Mar 12, 2018 7:03:21 GMT -6 Yogurt said:

remi, I would interpret Sunday as positive and expect to o any Tom in the next 24 hrs. The others look close but not there. Good luck!

Ok, I wasn’t 100% on Saturday’s! This is new to me and I’m used to a faint being positive. I’ll fix my chart to reflect only positive on Sunday though! Thanks for your set of eyes!

[sammysam]

remi I second Yogurt . And yay on the +OPK! I'm hoping to get mine by the end of the week.

[remi]

Timing was good AF this time. -5, -3, -2, -1, and O.

[remi]

Do you guys still take the OPKs until you get your period? I took another last night and it was negative.

[wildhoney]

Mar 13, 2018 6:55:12 GMT -6 remi said:

Do you guys still take the OPKs until you get your period? I took another last night and it was negative.

I've never heard of doing this. Can I ask why? 

[charliefox]

Mar 13, 2018 6:55:12 GMT -6 remi said:

Do you guys still take the OPKs until you get your period? I took another last night and it was negative.

Unless you have long/unpredictable cycles I would trust your positive OPKs and stop once you see a negative. Are you not temping?