sammysam
Sapphire
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TFAS 3/6
Mar 6, 2018 4:18:23 GMT -6
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Post by sammysam on Mar 6, 2018 4:18:23 GMT -6
Age of LO(s):
Month/Cycle:
CD/DPO:
Timing:
RRCS:
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Yogurt
Emerald
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TFAS 3/6
Mar 6, 2018 8:17:43 GMT -6
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Post by Yogurt on Mar 6, 2018 8:17:43 GMT -6
My husband said he's sick of all this and is done tfas. Great. I knew this would happen if it took too long. We'll see.
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purple
Gold
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TFAS 3/6
Mar 6, 2018 9:55:04 GMT -6
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Post by purple on Mar 6, 2018 9:55:04 GMT -6
My husband said he's sick of all this and is done tfas. Great. I knew this would happen if it took too long. We'll see. Yogurt, I'm so sorry. Feel free to vent as much as you need to. Is there any way you can talk to him when he's feeling a bit calmer? H and I have always said that a decision like that is not one that one of us can make alone, because it's about the whole family. But obviously every person / situation is different, so if that's unhelpful, please excuse me.
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sammysam
Sapphire
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TFAS 3/6
Mar 6, 2018 10:17:53 GMT -6
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Post by sammysam on Mar 6, 2018 10:17:53 GMT -6
Yogurt did he say why? Is he maybe just saying that in anger or frustration? I know before you said he was waffling a bit. Is it that he really doesn't want another or is it just that the process is getting him down? Is he willing to talk about it? Sorry you're having to deal with this. I'm sort of on the other side of this right now. The process is becoming very difficult for me and I feel like I'm being overwhelmed by it. I told SO we need to sit down and have a serious talk about an end date. Would your H feel better if you guys maybe specified a certain period of time for this? If you agreed on a certain number of cycles and then re-evaluated? I know for me I am likely going to give it 5 more cycles and then if it hasn't happened by then I'm throwing in the towel. I just hate feeling like my entire life revolves around TTGP. And I feel it's affecting my mental health too much at this point. I hate the thought of disappointing my SO but at the same time I have to take care of myself too.
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sammysam
Sapphire
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TFAS 3/6
Mar 6, 2018 10:21:27 GMT -6
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Post by sammysam on Mar 6, 2018 10:21:27 GMT -6
Age of LO(s): 4
Month/Cycle: 13/5AL...but I'm guessing CD 1 will be tomorrow so probably more like 14/6AL
CD/DPO: 22/11
Timing: Really really really good
RRCS: I got a BFN this morning at 11 DPO. I was so hopeful for this cycle and really felt this was going to be the one. So now I'm just waiting on AF and trying to figure out how I want to move forward.
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remi
Gold
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Post by remi on Mar 6, 2018 10:22:35 GMT -6
Yogurt did he say why? Is he maybe just saying that in anger or frustration? I know before you said he was waffling a bit. Is it that he really doesn't want another or is it just that the process is getting him down? Is he willing to talk about it? Sorry you're having to deal with this. I'm sort of on the other side of this right now. The process is becoming very difficult for me and I feel like I'm being overwhelmed by it. I told SO we need to sit down and have a serious talk about an end date. Would your H feel better if you guys maybe specified a certain period of time for this? If you agreed on a certain number of cycles and then re-evaluated? I know for me I am likely going to give it 5 more cycles and then if it hasn't happened by then I'm throwing in the towel. I just hate feeling like my entire life revolves around TTGP. And I feel it's affecting my mental health too much at this point. I hate the thought of disappointing my SO but at the same time I have to take care of myself too. I like this idea Yogurt. I’m sorry he’s dumped t in you like that. This process is the worst and it’s such a mind fuck for multiple reasons. sammysam I’m sorry you’re feeling so overwhelmed with everything. And you’re right you need to take care of you. Big hugs ladies.
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remi
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Post by remi on Mar 6, 2018 10:24:19 GMT -6
I’m CD13 and I’ve been taking the OPKs and getting very, very faint lines. So I’m waiting for a brighter line. I haven’t had any signs as far as CM yet. It is weirdly satisfying to pee on a stick everyday, I’m sure that will go away really quickly.
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Yogurt
Emerald
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TFAS 3/6
Mar 6, 2018 10:28:54 GMT -6
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Post by Yogurt on Mar 6, 2018 10:28:54 GMT -6
I will come back to add more when I have a second. It's the sex on a timeframe that he is sick of. Thanks for the support everyone.
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sammysam
Sapphire
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TFAS 3/6
Mar 6, 2018 10:34:53 GMT -6
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Post by sammysam on Mar 6, 2018 10:34:53 GMT -6
remi I haven't gotten sick of peeing on things yet:) It makes me feel weirdly happy or like I have some control when I pee on things every day. I hope you get your positive soon!!! I am just peeing on hpts until AF shows:/
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sammysam
Sapphire
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TFAS 3/6
Mar 6, 2018 10:37:40 GMT -6
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Post by sammysam on Mar 6, 2018 10:37:40 GMT -6
Yogurt I think that's the part my SO likes. He treats it like a job. Get it done and move on. Which is working for us right now...but only because we're still living in different places so the scheduling is something we would have to do anyway.
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purple
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TFAS 3/6
Mar 6, 2018 10:58:33 GMT -6
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Post by purple on Mar 6, 2018 10:58:33 GMT -6
Age of LO(s): 2 1/2
Month/Cycle: 25/ 3AL
CD/DPO: CD6.
Timing: We'll see. Fingers crossed!
RRCS: I'm okay. Feeling a bit rough today, mostly because I slept badly last night. So it doesn't count.
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purple
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Posts: 556 Likes: 1,691
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TFAS 3/6
Mar 6, 2018 10:59:20 GMT -6
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Post by purple on Mar 6, 2018 10:59:20 GMT -6
sammysam, I'm so sorry for the bfn. It's exhausting when you have good timing and it still doesn't happen. remi, great that peeing on things is helping! I found it added to my stress, but anything that helps is wonderful.
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Yogurt
Emerald
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TFAS 3/6
Mar 6, 2018 12:25:23 GMT -6
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Post by Yogurt on Mar 6, 2018 12:25:23 GMT -6
sammysam, I had negs on day 11 and positives at 15dpo. You're not out yet!
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sammysam
Sapphire
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TFAS 3/6
Mar 6, 2018 18:06:52 GMT -6
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Post by sammysam on Mar 6, 2018 18:06:52 GMT -6
Thanks Yogurt . My OPK was totally negative too...which I know doesn't necessarily mean anything but I keep hearing everyone telling stories of positive OPKs or at least dark ones before a positive HPT. With my loss I had a negative at 11 DPO also...but I could have sworn I saw the hint of a line...which I must have because it was positive the next day. With my DD I didn't test until 14 DPO so there was a clear line right off the bat. I'm still crossing my fingers but I think I'm out.
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Post by charliefox on Mar 6, 2018 19:08:43 GMT -6
Age of LO(s): 2.5
Month/Cycle: 18/2 AL
CD/DPO: 16/2-4dpo!!!
Timing: good no matter when I O'd
RRCS: So happy I O'd! Not getting my normal super sore breasts post O which is weird but I'll take it!
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Post by shakinros on Mar 6, 2018 19:37:36 GMT -6
Age of LO(s): 5.5
Month/Cycle: 16?
CD/DPO: 17/7
Timing: injections and IUI this month so as well timed as it could be.
RRCS: Feeling somewhat fortunate that there is enough bs going on in other realms of my life that I have been forgetting what CD it is and how long I have to wait to test. Silver linings? There’s pretty much no way I’m pregnant this month (lowest sperm count yet) so I’m glad to not be thinking about AF all the time.
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Post by shakinros on Mar 6, 2018 19:40:48 GMT -6
sammysam I’m sorry you didn’t see anything yet but I’m staying hopeful for you. Not time to give up on this cycle yet! Good luck charliefox! Yogurt my H also hates sex on a schedule. He also doesn’t at all seem to be able to follow where we are in a cycle, so I can frequently get by just acting like it’s spontaneous sex lol. Hope he’s able to have a better talk about this with you soon.
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Yogurt
Emerald
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TFAS 3/6
Mar 6, 2018 20:54:18 GMT -6
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Post by Yogurt on Mar 6, 2018 20:54:18 GMT -6
Thanks ladies. So yesterday I got my positive opk and I let my husband know, but didn't act all crazy or anything. He was too tired after work and I know better than to pressure or push him, because I know he'll blow up about it. He however knows I am disappointed and I don't even have to say anything and he'll be all, I hate this! Etc. Then he will say maybe it's not meant to be if it isn't happening for us. He also said he hates hearing the thermometer beeping every morning. He's just sick of me being let down, me telling him when we need to have sex, he gets mad and feels manipulated if I don't tell him it's my fw and I try to just "happen" to try to have sex with him.
He never wanted a second, but he knows I do now that I've become a mom. I actually never wanted a first, and he talked me into her. He is just really happy with our daughter and thinks our family is perfect. He calmed down and told me that he didn't mean any of it and he was just tired last night and felt overwhelmed by the pressure to perform month after month on cue. He made comments about being sick of letting me down.
The funny thing is, we actually had really good timing this month, despite all his whining.
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Yogurt
Emerald
Posts: 11,889 Likes: 42,317
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TFAS 3/6
Mar 6, 2018 20:58:15 GMT -6
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Post by Yogurt on Mar 6, 2018 20:58:15 GMT -6
Age of LO(s): 2.5
Month/Cycle: 10/2AL
CD/DPO: 19/I think I o'd today or yesterday
Timing: either O, -2, -5 Or +1, -1, -4
RRCS: see all my other posts in this thread, lol
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Post by charliefox on Mar 6, 2018 22:20:34 GMT -6
Oh, Yogurt, I know this has been one of your struggles the whole time and has been a big stressor for you. I'm glad he finally came around and talked with you about it, I hope you told him how much his attitude messes with you. <3
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sammysam
Sapphire
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TFAS 3/6
Mar 7, 2018 4:43:10 GMT -6
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Post by sammysam on Mar 7, 2018 4:43:10 GMT -6
BFN. Temps are still up but starting to trend down. Boobs aren't sore anymore so AF should be here today. On to the next.
I'm just going to stop focusing on TTC and start focusing on myself a bit. I'll still keep doing what I'm doing for SO's sake but I'm pretty much decided on my end date. 5 more cycles. Guess I'll start counting them down. Blah.
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sammysam
Sapphire
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TFAS 3/6
Mar 7, 2018 5:04:00 GMT -6
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Post by sammysam on Mar 7, 2018 5:04:00 GMT -6
Yogurt Yay to the good timing! Would it help if you guys just agreed to EOD starting at a certain point in your cycle? That way he might not feel as pressured and you don't have to even bring up your FW if you don't want. I know that helped for us. Also, we are like the exact flip of you and your H. I desperately wanted our first but he didn't really want a child. We were a pretty active couple and he was happy with our life style. But I told him it was a deal breaker so he agreed to one. After DD I was completely settled and content but then SO started wanting a second. The worst part of this process is disappointing him each month. So I totally get your H's feelings.
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Yogurt
Emerald
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TFAS 3/6
Mar 7, 2018 7:22:18 GMT -6
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Post by Yogurt on Mar 7, 2018 7:22:18 GMT -6
I'm so sorry for the bfn sammysam. We do try for every other day at about cd12-15 to cd17-20. I think I am going to stop temping after this month and just use opks.
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purple
Gold
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TFAS 3/6
Mar 7, 2018 8:30:35 GMT -6
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Post by purple on Mar 7, 2018 8:30:35 GMT -6
sammysam, I'm sorry about the bfn. Yogurt, I have so much sympathy with your struggles, and I wish I had more than sympathy to offer! I haven't actually been using opks or temping for a while, because the stress was driving us both loopy. After trying for so long I know what my fertile cm looks like. H doesn't want to know exactly when I O because he doesn't want sex to feel like a performance, which I understand. I like to know whether have good odds or not, but I have the kind of brain that presents me with that information once I've O'd. At this stage, I think I'm closer to saying "enough is enough" than H is, mostly because I'm the one who has to deal with the physical consequences of pregnancy and loss. Obviously each loss is devastating for him, but he doesn't have to deal with the physical repercussions that come with even a chemical pregnancy, never mind a later miscarriage. I don't know how many more losses I can take. Obviously I hope that the next pregnancy is very straightforward and that we don't lose any more, but that doesn't feel very realistic right now.
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remi
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Post by remi on Mar 7, 2018 10:56:08 GMT -6
Yogurt Yay to the good timing! Would it help if you guys just agreed to EOD starting at a certain point in your cycle? That way he might not feel as pressured and you don't have to even bring up your FW if you don't want. I know that helped for us. Also, we are like the exact flip of you and your H. I desperately wanted our first but he didn't really want a child. We were a pretty active couple and he was happy with our life style. But I told him it was a deal breaker so he agreed to one. After DD I was completely settled and content but then SO started wanting a second. The worst part of this process is disappointing him each month. So I totally get your H's feelings. This is how me and H are too. I really pushed to start trying for DD and had to drag him along. Then I really didn’t want to TFAS until just recently. We had a huge blowout fight about sex last night too. It’s really taking a toll on me to have to have sex on a specific time table. I have a VERY different view of sex than my H does, and most of the time he doesn’t pressure me or make me feel bad about not having sex. Last night was a weird night where I was tired and it was the first day of me FW so i wasn’t super concerned with having to have sex. DH was wanting it but fell asleep. So no problem, we will try tomorrow. Then I get woken up by him to have sex. And that does not ever work for me. So then we got in a huge fight and I didn’t sleep. This whole process is so much harder this time mentally and emotionally. And the pressure he’s been putting all on me is insane.
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sammysam
Sapphire
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TFAS 3/6
Mar 7, 2018 18:29:53 GMT -6
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Post by sammysam on Mar 7, 2018 18:29:53 GMT -6
remi Gah. I'm glad I'm not the only one feeling this way. It wouldn't be so bad if he didn't make it so obvious how much he wants a second. And then if I even hint at possibly not trying one month or wanting to skip a few days he makes comments like "I thought this was something we both wanted" and makes me feel so guilty. But all the hard work falls on us.
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remi
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Post by remi on Mar 7, 2018 18:32:04 GMT -6
remi Gah. I'm glad I'm not the only one feeling this way. It wouldn't be so bad if he didn't make it so obvious how much he wants a second. And then if I even hint at possibly not trying one month or wanting to skip a few days he makes comments like "I thought this was something we both wanted" and makes me feel so guilty. But all the hard work falls on us. This is literally what my H said to me last night when I said I didn’t want to have sex. I’m sorry you’re feeling the same way, it fucking sucks
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sammysam
Sapphire
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TFAS 3/6
Mar 7, 2018 18:39:43 GMT -6
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Post by sammysam on Mar 7, 2018 18:39:43 GMT -6
At this stage, I think I'm closer to saying "enough is enough" than H is, mostly because I'm the one who has to deal with the physical consequences of pregnancy and loss. Obviously each loss is devastating for him, but he doesn't have to deal with the physical repercussions that come with even a chemical pregnancy, never mind a later miscarriage. I don't know how many more losses I can take. Obviously I hope that the next pregnancy is very straightforward and that we don't lose any more, but that doesn't feel very realistic right now. So much this. I hadn't even actually miscarried yet (we knew about the loss before the hemorrhage) and my SO was already talking about trying again. After my 6 week post op appointment after the hemorrhage (at which point I was 100% positive I was done TFAS) SO spent the whole time asking questions about how soon we could start trying again. He said he would support whatever decision I made but it was obvious he expected me to want to start TTC again right away. You're right. They have no clue what is involved physically. All the risk is on us.
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Bluebird
Amethyst
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Post by Bluebird on Mar 8, 2018 11:15:42 GMT -6
TTC is the worst, right? Hugs Yogurt. Early FFFC - I'm hoping we start IUI next cycle because I'm so tired of TTC sex and MH asking me if I'm ovulating yet. Age of LO(s): 2.25 Month/Cycle: don't even know anymore CD/DPO: CD 13 Timing: n/a RRCS: My RE is going on vacation next week, so we don't get to start our next treatment plan in time for this cycle. That sucks.
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Yogurt
Emerald
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Post by Yogurt on Mar 8, 2018 12:42:45 GMT -6
Wtf is up with my chart. My opk is barely not positive today, like 3 days after a blazing positive. And my temp is down. I am so confused.
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