tallb
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Post by tallb on Feb 22, 2018 13:57:45 GMT -6
I'm sorry you are feeling overwhelmed. I know the feeling. It's been like this since I had M2. I often think about how great it would be to live near family so I would have just a little help with the boys.
We just found out my BIL accepted a job that will make them closer to my ILs than us and my first thought was the jealousy. I'm not proud of it, but when I feel like I'm drowning daily, it was just my first reaction.
I get this. It has been really tough going from being able to rely on my parents (and to a lesser extent my aunt) to...not. +1 for different reasons, but yeah. We need to find a real babysitter. We haven't gone out since before N was born😔.
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guster
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Post by guster on Feb 22, 2018 13:59:35 GMT -6
I get this. It has been really tough going from being able to rely on my parents (and to a lesser extent my aunt) to...not. +1 for different reasons, but yeah. We need to find a real babysitter. We haven't gone out since before N was born😔. Same. My cousin would watch them sometimes when we had an appointment or something, but since my aunt got sick she hasn't been able to, so the last time we were out alone was a week before Charlie was born.
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Post by flamingo on Feb 22, 2018 14:07:00 GMT -6
I get this. It has been really tough going from being able to rely on my parents (and to a lesser extent my aunt) to...not. +1 for different reasons, but yeah. We need to find a real babysitter. We haven't gone out since before N was born😔. I hope you can find someone. You guys need a break. Do any of the teachers at the kids' school do sitting on the side? I am going to have to find someone else next year, but the high school babysitter we found has been a godsend (darn it, why can't she go to college locally?) I still need to find someone for daytime appointments or as a back-up, but it's been great getting out of the house every couple weeks. Of course, not quite the same as Mom and Dad b/c she's not free, ha, but it's better than nothing.
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jewels
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Post by jewels on Feb 22, 2018 14:12:55 GMT -6
cagoldi don’t worry, you’ll be fine! I thought 1-2 was the hardest transition! Once you get to three+ you and the kids kind of know how to go with the flow! It's managing this schedule that is killing me, honestly. I can barely sneak in doctors appointments, if one of them gets sick my whole work day is shot. It's more like I'm anxious about being a working mom of three than a mom of three. Like it very much complicates things, if that makes sense. That 1000% makes sense and is a huge part of why I didn't take that other job. The flexibility is so key for me at this point. I couldn't imagine still working 40 + hours a week and commuting 2 hours a day at this point in my life.
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chrisy01
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Post by chrisy01 on Feb 22, 2018 14:19:09 GMT -6
My god send has been works backup care program. I get 15 times a year where someone can come to my house (or a facility but I always pick my house) to watch LO. It only is available on days I work so no days off but it helps with the stress. I need to find a babysitter for when C and I want to see a movie or do something. I do have family nearby but I feel guilty asking them to watch him.
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cagoldi
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Post by cagoldi on Feb 22, 2018 14:23:22 GMT -6
IDK but you're doing better than me because I still feel like two is much, much harder than one. I actually agree with this. I was just telling my SIL that having Evie and her brother were so much harder than just having my oldest (who was an only for 10 years). Although tossing Theo into the mix was just kind of whatever at that point. I have my fingers and toes crossed that Poppy just blends right in. ETA: I just read that you said it's the work schedule. You may have already covered this, but did you rule out SAH? Having 3 in childcare was the financial tipping point for me. I think it's out, but I've considered it. Even with two in DC plus Dude's afterschool/wraparound program I'm still going to clear around $500/month. Which is not a lot, but that combined with 401 (k) is something I have to figure in. The main reason I'm not seriously entertaining it is that Pete has HMO, I'm PPO and none of my specialists are in network on his insurance plan. So I'd have to start over with everyone and I don't see how my infusions wouldn't be disrupted, wouldn't require new approvals, etc. I just don't feel like it's something I can risk.
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tallb
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Post by tallb on Feb 22, 2018 14:32:46 GMT -6
+1 for different reasons, but yeah. We need to find a real babysitter. We haven't gone out since before N was born😔. I hope you can find someone. You guys need a break. Do any of the teachers at the kids' school do sitting on the side? I am going to have to find someone else next year, but the high school babysitter we found has been a godsend (darn it, why can't she go to college locally?) I still need to find someone for daytime appointments or as a back-up, but it's been great getting out of the house every couple weeks. Of course, not quite the same as Mom and Dad b/c she's not free, ha, but it's better than nothing. I think a lot of students do for other families, I just haven't had an event to need to book someone for. I'm hoping once they are at the same school I will ask someone that knows both kids well..the one I do kind if know is of course graduating, but may be going to grad school in the city🤞. I do have a hard time paying for more childcare after our daycare bill, but it is needed. Related to teachers, did I mention that N's teacher found out she was pregnant at 34 weeks...and delivered at 36 weeks last week😲. She could have almost been on the tv show!
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trtlcrzy
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Post by trtlcrzy on Feb 22, 2018 14:41:56 GMT -6
cagoldi re: blood draw: I would have A go first because I assume he will be easier to soothe and would freak out seeing X cry. I hope the blood draws go well. (Also you could tell A he has to be brave for X) I obviously don’t work full time nor have 3 kids but I know that you will figure it out. What sucks worse for you is that it seems like your kids are sick all the time. Maybe P will be super healthy somehow. At least she will have ~6 months before cold season starts.
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klong11
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Post by klong11 on Feb 22, 2018 14:42:12 GMT -6
joelies kinder already? I'm not ready for that.
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trtlcrzy
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Post by trtlcrzy on Feb 22, 2018 14:43:45 GMT -6
This reminds me, wineallthetime and cagoldi are you guys getting new vehicles since you’re having a 3rd? I know I just got a new vehicle 4 months ago but I’m thinking/planning ahead and am trying to decide what I want to get when we have our 3rd. As much as it makes me hate myself I’m starting to consider a minivan.
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Post by peachsmama on Feb 22, 2018 14:46:57 GMT -6
This reminds me, wineallthetime and cagoldi are you guys getting new vehicles since you’re having a 3rd? I know I just got a new vehicle 4 months ago but I’m thinking/planning ahead and am trying to decide what I want to get when we have our 3rd. As much as it makes me hate myself I’m starting to consider a minivan. I can't like this for the minivan in there. But me to as far as thinking about what next. I hate 3rd row vehicles but I don't see a way around it.
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Post by dapostrophe on Feb 22, 2018 14:47:58 GMT -6
cagoldi That makes perfect sense. Both working FT and staying home are really hard. There are so many sacrifices and challenges either way. I know you'll make it work, but I understand the overwhelm. Hang in there, Lady!
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cagoldi
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Post by cagoldi on Feb 22, 2018 14:49:37 GMT -6
cagoldi re: blood draw: I would have A go first because I assume he will be easier to soothe and would freak out seeing X cry. I hope the blood draws go well. (Also you could tell A he has to be brave for X) I obviously don’t work full time nor have 3 kids but I know that you will figure it out. What sucks worse for you is that it seems like your kids are sick all the time. Maybe P will be super healthy somehow. At least she will have ~6 months before cold season starts. Thanks, I hope so! I'm getting ahead of myself worrying that some or all have my condition, but that's what today's draw is for, so I'll know soon enough. I was kind of laughing because the pharmacy company sent me this packet like "Living with Primary Immunodeficiency" or something and it had all these stories from patients. A bunch of them were like, "Mom of three, all her kids also have PID." "Mom of five, all children have inherited PID." And that was...not reassuring. LOL
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cagoldi
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Post by cagoldi on Feb 22, 2018 14:53:09 GMT -6
I think X will go for that chest to chest.. Thanks for this.
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trtlcrzy
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Post by trtlcrzy on Feb 22, 2018 14:54:56 GMT -6
cagoldi re: blood draw: I would have A go first because I assume he will be easier to soothe and would freak out seeing X cry. I hope the blood draws go well. (Also you could tell A he has to be brave for X) I obviously don’t work full time nor have 3 kids but I know that you will figure it out. What sucks worse for you is that it seems like your kids are sick all the time. Maybe P will be super healthy somehow. At least she will have ~6 months before cold season starts. Thanks, I hope so! I'm getting ahead of myself worrying that some or all have my condition, but that's what today's draw is for, so I'll know soon enough. I was kind of laughing because the pharmacy company sent me this packet like "Living with Primary Immunodeficiency" or something and it had all these stories from patients. A bunch of them were like, "Mom of three, all her kids also have PID." "Mom of five, all children have inherited PID." And that was...not reassuring. LOL I know it sucks that the possibility is there but unfortunately it’s not something you have control over or could have done anything differently. You are advocating for them and will be able to help them through any obstacles that come their way.
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cagoldi
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Post by cagoldi on Feb 22, 2018 14:58:50 GMT -6
This reminds me, wineallthetime and cagoldi are you guys getting new vehicles since you’re having a 3rd? I know I just got a new vehicle 4 months ago but I’m thinking/planning ahead and am trying to decide what I want to get when we have our 3rd. As much as it makes me hate myself I’m starting to consider a minivan. Pete's dad said he was buying us a little crossover SUV. I don't like to accept expensive gifts and I don't see how it is going to be much different. I told him not to but we'll see what happens. We've only had the Prius a year so we're stuck with it because I'm way too broke for anything else. Looks like those Diono Radians are in my future. Don't hate yourself for wanting a minivan. I drive a station wagon!
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wedding
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Post by wedding on Feb 22, 2018 14:59:42 GMT -6
cagoldi,does Pete's work offer a PPO option?
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Post by wineallthetime on Feb 22, 2018 15:00:19 GMT -6
This reminds me, wineallthetime and cagoldi are you guys getting new vehicles since you’re having a 3rd? I know I just got a new vehicle 4 months ago but I’m thinking/planning ahead and am trying to decide what I want to get when we have our 3rd. As much as it makes me hate myself I’m starting to consider a minivan. I am. I drive an '08 escape so it's time for a new car anyway. I don't care about cars so I told MH to look for comfort, good price and decent gas mileage. I don't care if it's a minivan or bigger suv or whatever!
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wedding
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Post by wedding on Feb 22, 2018 15:00:47 GMT -6
I am actually happy about C having an extra year before kindergarten. I'm not ready for that yet. joelies we went to a school event where C will be a student and I was tearing up the whole time picturing him in these classrooms. Try not to cry!
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Post by dapostrophe on Feb 22, 2018 15:00:53 GMT -6
Lol, we are looking at moving beyond minivan lyfe and entering Suburban/Tahoe territory. My inner zero-waster is cringing.
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guster
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Post by guster on Feb 22, 2018 15:01:18 GMT -6
This reminds me, wineallthetime and cagoldi are you guys getting new vehicles since you’re having a 3rd? I know I just got a new vehicle 4 months ago but I’m thinking/planning ahead and am trying to decide what I want to get when we have our 3rd. As much as it makes me hate myself I’m starting to consider a minivan. I have all the mini van love !
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Post by wineallthetime on Feb 22, 2018 15:02:30 GMT -6
Luckily MH drives a truck and we can fit 3 carseats in the back seat. He does drop off and I do pickup so we both need to fit 3 carseats
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cagoldi
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Post by cagoldi on Feb 22, 2018 15:03:10 GMT -6
Thanks, I hope so! I'm getting ahead of myself worrying that some or all have my condition, but that's what today's draw is for, so I'll know soon enough. I was kind of laughing because the pharmacy company sent me this packet like "Living with Primary Immunodeficiency" or something and it had all these stories from patients. A bunch of them were like, "Mom of three, all her kids also have PID." "Mom of five, all children have inherited PID." And that was...not reassuring. LOL I know it sucks that the possibility is there but unfortunately it’s not something you have control over or could have done anything differently. You are advocating for them and will be able to help them through any obstacles that come their way. Yeah, definitely better to know now than have to wait until they're 35 to be diagnosed! You'll probably remember this better than anyone but when Dude was constantly sick when he was a baby I was sure something else was wrong. I didn't know about the universe of immunodeficiencies at the time but I kept thinking it was like his immune system was total crap. We always catch what the other has so I suspect he does have it, I'm not so sure about X.
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cagoldi
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Post by cagoldi on Feb 22, 2018 15:04:29 GMT -6
cagoldi,does Pete's work offer a PPO option? Yes, but it's way too crappy to go with that. Family deductible is like $7,200 and OOP max is $16,000 or something crazy.
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Post by wineallthetime on Feb 22, 2018 15:05:05 GMT -6
I am actually happy about C having an extra year before kindergarten. I'm not ready for that yet. joelies we went to a school event where C will be a student and I was tearing up the whole time picturing him in these classrooms. Try not to cry! I'm happy my C has an extra year too! Especially because full time will be an adjustment for him and I think it'd be an even bigger adjustment for him with a new baby at home.
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guster
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Post by guster on Feb 22, 2018 15:07:13 GMT -6
Full time K is now probably the only reason I'm thinking Josie will do another pre-k year. Emotionally, the full day would destroy her now (this could be different come August) and I don't want her to hate school bc of it.
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Post by snoopmommymom on Feb 22, 2018 15:21:13 GMT -6
I hope you can find someone. You guys need a break. Do any of the teachers at the kids' school do sitting on the side? I am going to have to find someone else next year, but the high school babysitter we found has been a godsend (darn it, why can't she go to college locally?) I still need to find someone for daytime appointments or as a back-up, but it's been great getting out of the house every couple weeks. Of course, not quite the same as Mom and Dad b/c she's not free, ha, but it's better than nothing. I think a lot of students do for other families, I just haven't had an event to need to book someone for. I'm hoping once they are at the same school I will ask someone that knows both kids well..the one I do kind if know is of course graduating, but may be going to grad school in the city🤞. I do have a hard time paying for more childcare after our daycare bill, but it is needed. Related to teachers, did I mention that N's teacher found out she was pregnant at 34 weeks...and delivered at 36 weeks last week😲. She could have almost been on the tv show! Say what?! Am i reading this right? How did she not know she was pregnant? Was she extremely overweight? How did she not feel the baby kick for 10 weeks? Am i missing something?
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Post by wineallthetime on Feb 22, 2018 15:23:02 GMT -6
I think a lot of students do for other families, I just haven't had an event to need to book someone for. I'm hoping once they are at the same school I will ask someone that knows both kids well..the one I do kind if know is of course graduating, but may be going to grad school in the city🤞. I do have a hard time paying for more childcare after our daycare bill, but it is needed. Related to teachers, did I mention that N's teacher found out she was pregnant at 34 weeks...and delivered at 36 weeks last week😲. She could have almost been on the tv show! Say what?! Am i reading this right? How did she not know she was pregnant? Was she extremely overweight? How did she not feel the baby kick for 10 weeks? Am i missing something? Omg, I missed this. What!? How does this happen!? I'm almost 30 weeks and there is no missing it!
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joelies
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Post by joelies on Feb 22, 2018 15:34:01 GMT -6
joelies kinder already? I'm not ready for that. Don't move to CT, haha. We have the latest kindergarten cutoff in the country and all attempts to change it (and there are attempts every couple of years) get tossed. Not so coincidentally, we also have one of the largest achievement gaps, as wealthier families can afford quality care in the early years and truly have the option to delay kindergarten. Poorer families need to get their kids into public school ASAP. So the comparisons are often (on average) younger kids with no prior schooling compared to older kids with extensive pre-school and pre-k instruction. Colin falls somewhere in the middle since he's had such amazing teachers and is used to a full day program. He's also psyched about school. Little butthead.
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Post by dapostrophe on Feb 22, 2018 15:34:37 GMT -6
Evie will do 4 y/o pre-school next year. Our district only offers half-day kindergarten and sometimes I still wonder if I should have held my son back (July birthday). Academically he is fine, but he has struggled in terms of being emotionally ready. Full day would have been really overwhelming IMO.
Ironically, I think Evie would have been fine as an early kindergartener. She is way more easy going and open to new experiences. She hopped on the bus as a 3 year old and didn't look back, where my son still cries on the way to school some days.
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