yianna
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Post by yianna on Feb 20, 2018 22:05:02 GMT -6
I’m starting this NOW because I figure some people may have some questions and concerns and I think some of us can help...
Also bc my bff is having huge issues and it made me realize how much support is needed when nursing - even for us “pros”.
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Rama
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Post by Rama on Feb 20, 2018 22:19:42 GMT -6
I'm gonna probably need this thread, I'm already nervous about producing. Thanks for starting yianna!
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Post by nevertoomanyshoes on Feb 21, 2018 2:57:19 GMT -6
Lactation consultants are great, a wealth of knowledge, but some are a bit over the top with their agendas so don’t let them make you feel like shit if it’s just not working. I lucked out with DS1, saw two lactation consultants who were good after we went home and he wasn’t gaining.
Nipple shields are not the devil, but you may need to pump after feeding and top up LO with expressed milk as apparently they have to work harder to get it with the shield and can tire before they’re full. I didn’t know that and it was contributing to DS not gaining apparently.
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yianna
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Post by yianna on Feb 21, 2018 5:49:01 GMT -6
If you have pcos - ask to pump after feeds. Many gals with pcos are poor producers (although many are not too). It can take quite some time for milk to come in - and you may need to supplement while that happens. Metformin can help! Just make sure you tell the LC that you have pcos - it does make a difference.
Babies lose weight in the hospital - and as long as it’s less than 10% of their birth weight they usually don’t say much - just don’t panic! If you were in labor for a long time and received a ton of fluids, many of Baby is losing is that extra fluid!
Ask for hydrogel pads. Your nipples will say “ahhh” using those!
If you will be pumping bc you’ll be back at work - consider using dr browns and getting preemie nipples. They are the slowest on the market and help baby not develop a nipple preference AND don’t be like me - get a small feeding with a bottle in every day once Baby is a week or so old. My last LO refuses the bottle and they had to syringe feed her for a week - and it was hell.
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Post by clementine on Feb 21, 2018 6:42:44 GMT -6
I am going to be so appreciative of this post in a couple weeks. Thank you, oh wise ones, for your advice!
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Post by ovenrack on Feb 21, 2018 6:50:28 GMT -6
+1 to lactation consultants being amazing but some can be overly aggressive.
With my first, my milk was slow to come in (only not really, but it felt slow) and baby cried a lot and I was so concerned. A night nurse pushed formula and I was so, so bummed and overwhelmed.
With #2, I had a little more knowledge and knew that it’s good to keep aware of everything, but waiting and baby crying is just part of the situation, and pumping/formula may be part of the journey or may not, or may be the end game for you.
It’s all so tied to hormones that it is a big mind fuck, but in the end I’m just glad I’ve become aware that I’m just thrilled to live in a time of formula and lactation consultants and syringes and nipple shields.
I loved BFing and can’t wait to do it again. But my feelings about are crazy different than 4 years ago! Just less... pressure.
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Post by sweetc129 on Feb 21, 2018 8:11:21 GMT -6
I'll be here, I love BFing talk. I guess I'm a "pro". Mine were both on breast milk exclusively (aside from solids after 6m) for a year. I worked full time and pumped and was a milk donor. I've used many different pumps and have had clogs/mastitis and all kinds of good issues. I actually never had the best luck with lactation consultants, I've had better luck with google and other mama BFing "pros". (I know this probably isn't the best advice, but know there are other resources).
To be honest I'm a little nervous this time. I've always worked full time and pumped so much and bottle fed my BM and now that I'm going to stay at home I'm not sure I'll know what to do actually nursing almost 100% of the time. I kind of liked knowing what my output and the baby's input was. I feel like I'm going into this as a newbie
I can get in to so many things, but just a couple of quick things to get started:
1. My first took 6 days for my milk to come in, so just know especially for first time mamas to keep putting baby to the breast and/or pumping even if your milk doesn't come in right away doesn't mean it won't. 2. Fluids are your best friend 3. Clogs, you're going to get them. It's ok just try and stay on top of it so it doesn't turn to mastitis. Some things to do when you get a clog: Moist Heat Nurse with baby's chin pointed towards clog (this can be interesting) Massage Nurse Nurse Nurse Use an electric toothbrush or vibrator on clog Dangle feed
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Post by calendula on Feb 21, 2018 8:14:20 GMT -6
Lactation consultants are great, a wealth of knowledge, but some are a bit over the top with their agendas so don’t let them make you feel like shit if it’s just not working. Yes, so much this. We had LCs coming to the house every 48 hours for the first two weeks due to our supply issues, and rarely did I see the same one twice. It made me realize that every LC has different approaches, beliefs, and agendas. The important takeaway from that, for me, was that often there is no "right" or "wrong" way to fix BFing issues. Every approach, every potential fix, every strategy should just be considered as a tool in a toolbox, and some will work for some moms and some babies, and some won't. I'll also put in an early plug for combo feeding. I felt like such a failure for supplementing DS ("combo feeding" wasn't even a term that was used then) and I really wish I had someone around to tell me how valid an option it is, and how valuable the flexibility is to more fully share in parenting responsibilities with my spouse, and take the pressure and mental stress off being the sole provider of food for baby. So I'll leave that here for anyone who needs it.
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polson
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Post by polson on Feb 21, 2018 8:27:39 GMT -6
i will also be following. i had a rough start with dd, but we made it 20 months and i’m hoping to have a similar experience this time around. i’m having a lot of anxiety about what our hospital experience is going to be and i’m concerned about how it will impact nursing. i actually have a backup plan in my head though. last time i hadn’t prepped a pump/bottles or researched formula because i just assumed i was bfing and it would work out. my biggest piece of advice is it’s hard so give yourself some grace. a fed baby is a happy baby. i dunno
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Post by katietopaz on Feb 21, 2018 9:15:38 GMT -6
I'm with sweetc129 in that I'll be here too, I love BFing talk. I nursed DS till just past age two, and even though I was so ready to be done by the end, I really enjoyed BFing once we got it figured out. I hope that it works out this time, too. I'll throw out a general word or two of advice. If you're on the bigger side, bust-wise, those blissful pictures of moms nursing reclined in the hospital bed with baby cradled perfectly in one arm...really may not be you. The very best thing a LC did for me was get me out of that bed, sitting upright in a chair, and teach me different holds that worked for big boobs. Spoiler: it was always a two-handed job, with the nursing pillow, till DS was 8 or 9 months old. Also, I know I've recommended it 10,000 times, but the My Brest Friend pillow was a lifesaver and infinitely more comfortable and effective than the Boppy.
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yianna
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Post by yianna on Feb 21, 2018 10:05:49 GMT -6
Also a if you haven’t and can, take a breast feeding class! And look up an IBCLC in your area and have them on call - have their number down so you can find it when you’re home.
Breastfeeding is UNNATURAL AT FIRST! You’re holding on to a squirming baby, and trying to feed them and getting overwhelmed.
Just remember - you get comfortable first THEN bring baby to boob!
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Post by ArielMermaid on Feb 21, 2018 11:13:35 GMT -6
It took my milk over a week to come in so I used formula in the inbetween. We still breastfed for 13 months after so do not feel bad if you have to do this too.
Also, it’s ok to quit for any reason. I was overwhelmed as fuck and only stuck it out because I felt like I had to. I think my mental health would have faired better if I had just called it earlier and started her on formula. It’s ok for it not to work out.
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Post by ArielMermaid on Feb 21, 2018 11:15:31 GMT -6
Facebook support groups are nice. But sometimes the people in there are SUPER into it. But great for normal things like how to fix a clog etc. + eleventy to LCs being angels. It’s super weird at first how they come in and man handle your boobs but it will be worth it.
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Leaf 🌱
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Post by Leaf 🌱 on Feb 21, 2018 11:23:47 GMT -6
calendula TTMA combo feeding - when did you start, how did it work, did you just offer the same amount of formula as BM? I nursed DD for 16ish months (nursing exclusively while at home and pumping at work) but it was a huge anxiety trigger for me to be the sole source of her nutrition. I’d have nightmares about getting sick, needing meds that weren’t BF-friendly, and then having her refuse formula. I was legit afraid she’d just waste away in this hypothetical situation. Not having a back up I knew worked really really freaked me out. It also wasn’t great that I also felt like I could never leave her except for work. I’m also freaked out that this baby won’t be able to nurse at all and I’ll feel like a failure. Pregnancy anxiety is not logical 🤷🏼♀️ Has anyone used something like the haaka? I’m a leaking BF-er and am hoping that may help. Nursing tips from last time: - I had the LC check in my once or twice a day at the hospital just to make sure we weren’t developing bad habits. Don’t feel like you need to have a problem to talk to one. - DD did fine with the modela bottles and stage 1 nipples the entire time. Don’t buy a ton of anything in advance. Hopefully you can get by on the cheap too 😂
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Post by calendula on Feb 21, 2018 12:00:46 GMT -6
Leaf 🌱 DS was always combo fed, right out of the hospital, due to my supply. We took advantage of it and scheduled the bottle feeds at night, mostly, so DH and I could split the nights 50/50 and both get some rest. I would nurse in the mornings, when my supply was best. In the early days I would nurse at every daytime feed, and if I felt like he hadn't gotten enough or wouldn't latch, I would give a formula bottle and then pump right after to try and mimic the demand. That's probably all unnecessary if your supply is good, though, and just want to take advantage of the flexibility. Around 6 weeks I went back to work, so by that point I would just pump at wakeup, pump twice a day at work, and then nurse in the evening and during my assigned night shift. I'd send whatever BM I had from the day before to daycare and the rest was formula. It was nice not having to sweat about things like spilled milk, low supply days, days I had to take meds and pump/dump, or going away for overnights. As he grew and his intake went up, my supply didn't really go up, so I continued to give him what I had and increased the percentage of formula. I weaned completely at 7.5 months.
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Post by ovenrack on Feb 21, 2018 12:04:40 GMT -6
Leaf 🌱 I got a set of hakaas! Or whatever they are. I’m going to try them. I leaked a on with #1, and not much with #2, but I think they work well anyway, from what I’ve heard. I know people knock the boppy, and talk about My Breast Friend, but I am a 40G (while not engorged) plus sized mama who loves her boppy. 🤷♀️ Boppy plus football hold was my JAM. If what you’re using doesn’t work, definitely try something new! But I’m glad my cheap boppy worked. Hah.
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Post by ovenrack on Feb 21, 2018 12:07:00 GMT -6
And OMG if nothing else, remember this image! I hamburgered my boob for M (my kid #2) for months. But it made her latch perfect every time and it doesn’t take long.
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Post by sweetc129 on Feb 21, 2018 12:34:58 GMT -6
It took my milk over a week to come in so I used formula in the inbetween. We still breastfed for 13 months after so do not feel bad if you have to do this too. Also, it’s ok to quit for any reason. I was overwhelmed as fuck and only stuck it out because I felt like I had to. I think my mental health would have faired better if I had just called it earlier and started her on formula. It’s ok for it not to work out. Yes! There are many reason why you don't or can't BF, heck maybe you just don't want to. That is ok, and don't let anybody make you feel otherwise.
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cp3
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Post by cp3 on Feb 21, 2018 12:51:31 GMT -6
I did not know that about pcos yianna. I had a low supply that got even worse when I went back to work. I'll definitely keep that in mind this time around.
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cp3
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Post by cp3 on Feb 21, 2018 12:55:19 GMT -6
I will be here but for advice as I am nowhere near a pro. With DD1 my milk didn't come in for days and she lost quite a bit after not being that big to begin with so we supplemented with formula at the beginning which helped with her jaundice too. I ended up weaning around 5 months because I was barely producing 2-3 ounces a day and it became too stressful trying to pump and keep up with what DD was eating.
I'm hoping since I'll be home this time around and not have to work and pump I will be able to breasteed longer. But I will also try to not stress it as much if it doesn't work out.
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Leaf 🌱
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Post by Leaf 🌱 on Feb 21, 2018 13:11:43 GMT -6
Also I feel like it needs to be said that you may not LOSE ALL THAT BABY WEIGHT bc of BFing. I legit had to keep on an extra 5-10lbs or my supply would start to shit out. I definitely felt cheated.
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polson
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Post by polson on Feb 21, 2018 13:22:02 GMT -6
Also I feel like it needs to be said that you may not LOSE ALL THAT BABY WEIGHT bc of BFing. I legit had to keep on an extra 5-10lbs or my supply would start to shit out. I definitely felt cheated. yes! my body also hung on to a few extra lbs. some people need to hang onto that for supply i guess
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snowmoon
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Post by snowmoon on Feb 21, 2018 13:27:15 GMT -6
We were really incredibly fortunate that breastfeeding came easily for us. BUT, it was completely overwhelming being the only source of nutrition (and honestly, comfort, at times.) DS was so boob dependent and he never took a bottle or pacifier. I didn't leave him for more than 4 hours until he was 15 months old and I went back to work. I honestly think that if I had tried to introduce a bottle when he was a newborn, my mental health wouldn't have been so shaky when he was older. I really think I need to have a plan this time to pump and build up a freezer stash and have others give a bottle.
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Post by calendula on Feb 21, 2018 14:02:04 GMT -6
Also I feel like it needs to be said that you may not LOSE ALL THAT BABY WEIGHT bc of BFing. I legit had to keep on an extra 5-10lbs or my supply would start to shit out. I definitely felt cheated. Yes! I dropped over 10 pounds the month after I weaned DS at 7.5 months, and my diet and exercise hadn't changed. It was definitely my body holding on to weight for nursing. My OB says that's super common, which I found shocking at the time because allllll the literature I had been given said the exact opposite, pitching BFing as this miracle weight loss solution for new moms (instead of a lucky few). I wish more women talked honestly about these parts of BFing, and I'm glad threads like this one exist. BFing can be a great thing for many babies and moms, but my experience with it showed me just how much of the medical literature out there is less fact-based and more driven by agenda. I just feel like if we as a society are to take maternal mental health seriously, then being honest about the realities of BFing is really necessary. Women are smart. We can handle the truth. We just need to be prepared and supported.
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Rama
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Post by Rama on Feb 21, 2018 14:17:12 GMT -6
Also I feel like it needs to be said that you may not LOSE ALL THAT BABY WEIGHT bc of BFing. I legit had to keep on an extra 5-10lbs or my supply would start to shit out. I definitely felt cheated. This makes me a little nervous because of how little I've gained. I'm just hoping that my body is able to do the thing with what we've got. I think I'll be pretty disappointed if we can't have a BF relationship.
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Post by ArielMermaid on Feb 21, 2018 14:18:41 GMT -6
We were really incredibly fortunate that breastfeeding came easily for us. BUT, it was completely overwhelming being the only source of nutrition (and honestly, comfort, at times.) DS was so boob dependent and he never took a bottle or pacifier. I didn't leave him for more than 4 hours until he was 15 months old and I went back to work. I honestly think that if I had tried to introduce a bottle when he was a newborn, my mental health wouldn't have been so shaky when he was older. I really think I need to have a plan this time to pump and build up a freezer stash and have others give a bottle. I had this exact same thing. I didn’t do a bottle or pacifier because “NIPPLE CONFUSION11!!1!1!1” My life would have been so much better if I had.
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Post by ArielMermaid on Feb 21, 2018 14:20:15 GMT -6
Breastfeeding helped me drop weight initially but after month five or so I started to gain because I was so starving all the time.
I feel like I’m the Debbie downer of breastfeeding. 😂
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Post by katietopaz on Feb 21, 2018 14:34:56 GMT -6
+everything to it being totally okay if BFing doesn't work out or it's just not your thing. Formula is not poison. And mom's mental/emotional/physical health is every bit as important as baby's. I feel like many of the "Baby-Friendly" initiative hospitals need to get more on board with that and not guilt moms that want or need to do formula, use a pacifier, etc.
It's great to get support and tips, or that extra encouragement to get through a tough phase like a nursing strike (where you feel like you want to pull your hair out and quit, but really want to power through and continue your BFing journey) but if it's putting you in a bad headspace, give yourself permission to quit.
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Post by mrsmonogrammed on Feb 21, 2018 15:54:34 GMT -6
Also I feel like it needs to be said that you may not LOSE ALL THAT BABY WEIGHT bc of BFing. I legit had to keep on an extra 5-10lbs or my supply would start to shit out. I definitely felt cheated. This makes me a little nervous because of how little I've gained. I'm just hoping that my body is able to do the thing with what we've got. I think I'll be pretty disappointed if we can't have a BF relationship. Anecdote- I only gained 1lb last pregnancy (thanks GD diet!) and lost like 25lbs from my prepregnacy weight (not sure skinny to start, obvi) while BFing. You’ll never know how your own body will react! And BF made me HUNGRY all. the. time. so I wouldn’t worry too much about how much you’re gaining during pregnancy. Your body will do what it needs to!
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Post by mrsmonogrammed on Feb 21, 2018 16:00:31 GMT -6
I experienced weight gain issues with my DD- she didn’t get back up to her birth weight until she was exactly 1 month old. I had to use a nipple shield for the first month or so (it’s not always a bad thing!), she had a lip tie (corrected by an ENT @1m- I wish we had found it sooner!!), and she would NOT wake up to nurse at night (I pumped and had H give her a bottle). But we made it and we nursed exclusively for 14 months!
Breastfeeding is like walking through a minefield but it’s so nice to have all of these ladies with different experiences to try and help troubleshoot any issues! I wouldn’t have made it through the lows without my last BMB and their knowledge. I love talking about BF because nobody’s experience is exactly the same😊
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