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Post by tbirdlove on Feb 22, 2018 17:52:11 GMT -6
I was thinking that maybe we could do a getting to know you thread just to learn a little but more about everyone. I wasn't sure if anyone would be interested or if we should wait a little longer, but I'd be interested to know more about you ladies if you want to share! Yes - this is a good idea!
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Post by chriskoo on Feb 22, 2018 17:59:57 GMT -6
(TW for angsty hormonal PGAL feelings)
I need to vent about my DH for a sec. I feel like lately he’s been super insensitive about my PGAL feelings. I’m 10 weeks 6 days today, and both of my losses happened between 9-11 weeks so my anxiety has been very high. DH does not want to hear it and has been pressuring me to tell people about the pregnancy before I’m ready (like our next door neighbors). I tried to explain that I’m still nervous about a loss , he rolls his eyes and tells me not to talk about it because it’s annoying. Excuse me?!? Rage.
I know I’m extra emotional right now, and normally I’m the type to push bad feelings deep down inside and not express them. It’s just that sometimes I want to talk about it and I feel like it should be his job to listen. Right? I get that he probably has feelings about it too maybe that’s why he doesn’t want to talk about it, but still he’s driving me crazy.
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Post by tbirdlove on Feb 22, 2018 18:19:54 GMT -6
chriskoo I'm sorry YH is not being supportive of your feelings. I would be upset by that too. I'm in the same window as you (the loss window) and I am so all over the place emotionally. Do you have another outlet to share your feelings (besides us, of course!) during this time? Maybe you're right that it is just difficult for YH to hear your worries.
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brenna
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Post by brenna on Feb 22, 2018 18:31:48 GMT -6
What are some questions you would want to know and feel comfortable sharing with everyone?
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koritto
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Post by koritto on Feb 22, 2018 18:37:54 GMT -6
+1 for both! Especially being a later due date it would be nice to get to know everyone from earlier.
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Post by pixiepink24 on Feb 22, 2018 18:47:04 GMT -6
chriskooI'm so sorry you are dealing with your H not understanding. I feel I'm in a similar boat. SO has told his family already and I haven't even told my mom. Sometimes I think it's super hard for others to really understand what it is like first hand to go through such a thing. But even if they don't, they should know the importance of validating our feelings and respecting our hesitations. I hope things improve on his end.
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koritto
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Posts: 223 Likes: 554
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Post by koritto on Feb 22, 2018 18:51:26 GMT -6
chriskoo I’m sorry you are feeling that way. Different experience but there were and are many times I don’t think mine really comprehends how tough pregnancy is in general. Add on the anxiety of a loss on top of it and I know he couldn’t! Doesn’t make it any better or right but he just can’t get it. Feel free to vent anytime.
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Post by chriskoo on Feb 22, 2018 19:49:24 GMT -6
pixiepink24 koritto tbirdlove thanks for letting me vent. it’s nice to have people who understand. Many of my IRL friends are struggling with IF so I don’t always feel right opening up about my pregnancy fears to them. brenna I’d love to see some GTKY questions about pets, fave books/movies, likes/dislikes, hobbies, fun stuff like that. Maybe we could also add a random GTKY question to our weekly check in!
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Post by shawnspencer on Feb 22, 2018 20:19:16 GMT -6
I'm sorry your husband isn't being very understanding right now chriskoo. It's hard when you feel like no one else understands. You are completely entitled to your feelings and they are valid. I really hope the next couple of weeks go by fast and uneventful for you.
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Nymeria
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Post by Nymeria on Feb 22, 2018 21:09:29 GMT -6
Hugs chriskoo. I'm sorry YH isn't being supportive of your feelings. It makes sense this is an anxious time for you and PGAL is hard enough without your SO saying he doesn't want to hear about it.
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Post by chriskoo on Feb 22, 2018 21:23:44 GMT -6
Thanks shawnspencer Nymeria . It’s been a rough week, I’m hoping that my big feelings settle down soon.
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akwild
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Post by akwild on Feb 22, 2018 22:24:02 GMT -6
So we are going out this weekend for dinner and a comedy show for my friends birthday. I haven’t told her we are expecting again because she opened up to me our her losses after ours in August. I don’t want to hurt her because we were able to get pregnant again. I thought I would wait until after her birthday but she’s going to notice that I don’t have a beer with dinner. I don’t want her to find out because of a slip. But I don’t want her to be upset by telling her before. I don’t know what to do.
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Post by blurnette989 on Feb 22, 2018 23:31:27 GMT -6
akwild I would tell her via text before the event. So she has time to process her feelings without you right in front of her at her birthday event. That would've too much. Just something like: Hey XXX, I wanted to share some news with you before the weekend and let you know that I am pregnant. I didn't want to surprise you at your birthday, butiknow it's be obvious when I'm not drinking. So many hugs to you.
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Post by blurnette989 on Feb 22, 2018 23:32:18 GMT -6
Pregsomnia is the worst. I've been up since 430.
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Post by shawnspencer on Feb 22, 2018 23:44:03 GMT -6
I agree. A text is the best way. She needs to be able to react however she needs in privacy. akwild
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Post by ventotheessa on Feb 23, 2018 5:33:39 GMT -6
Pregsomnia is the worst. I've been up since 430. I hope you managed to get a bit more sleep.😔
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Post by chriskoo on Feb 23, 2018 5:50:56 GMT -6
akwild I agree, telling her ahead of time, privately via text or phone call, is a great option. She might not be upset at all by the news, might be just happy for you but at least that way she’s not put on the spot.
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Nymeria
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Post by Nymeria on Feb 23, 2018 8:15:24 GMT -6
akwild - +1 to a private text before the event. It will allow her to react however she does without worrying about hurting your feelings if it's not a completely happy for you response. I like blurnette989's suggested wording, but might leave out the hugs bit at the end.
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Post by tbirdlove on Feb 23, 2018 10:03:35 GMT -6
Because I need to distract myself, I'm messing with figuring out how to make a roster. I copied from a previous BMB and have a spreadsheet made, but I'm not sure how to share it from there... And how to make it open for others to make edits/changes.
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Post by tbirdlove on Feb 23, 2018 10:07:44 GMT -6
akwild I agree with the other's suggestions. If you feel very certain that she'll suspect if you're not drinking, then it's probably best to tell her before so she has time to process. I'm sorry that you're in that tough spot of not wanting to hurt your friend.
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Post by Dramaphile on Feb 23, 2018 10:24:11 GMT -6
Because I need to distract myself, I'm messing with figuring out how to make a roster. I copied from a previous BMB and have a spreadsheet made, but I'm not sure how to share it from there... And how to make it open for others to make edits/changes. My old TB BMB had a google doc in a pinned post that people could add to.
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Nymeria
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Posts: 3,859 Likes: 11,947
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Post by Nymeria on Feb 23, 2018 10:25:04 GMT -6
Because I need to distract myself, I'm messing with figuring out how to make a roster. I copied from a previous BMB and have a spreadsheet made, but I'm not sure how to share it from there... And how to make it open for others to make edits/changes. If my work computer didn't block access to personal email accounts (i.e. EVERYTHING that requires a Gmail sign in!!!) I'd try to help. You might be able to just share the link, but I'm not sure that helps with the allowing others to edit thing.
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Post by tbirdlove on Feb 23, 2018 10:27:11 GMT -6
Because I need to distract myself, I'm messing with figuring out how to make a roster. I copied from a previous BMB and have a spreadsheet made, but I'm not sure how to share it from there... And how to make it open for others to make edits/changes. My old TB BMB had a google doc in a pinned post that people could add to. Yeah, this is what I'm trying to do. I've figured out how to share a link for the document, but so far I can't get the editing settings right so that anyone can edit it.
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Post by tbirdlove on Feb 23, 2018 11:07:43 GMT -6
Hm. I just realized that you cannot protect the the owner info of a shared document. My gmail address is not vague at all - it's first name.lastname! And my name is not common. Not sure that I want to have my full name just floating around attached to a fully public accessible document... 😕 I think I'm gonna have to pass on the task. Hope that's not jerky.
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Nymeria
Sapphire
Posts: 3,859 Likes: 11,947
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Post by Nymeria on Feb 23, 2018 11:12:17 GMT -6
Hm. I just realized that you cannot protect the the owner info of a shared document. My gmail address is not vague at all - it's first name.lastname! And my name is not common. Not sure that I want to have my full name just floating around attached to a fully public accessible document... 😕 I think I'm gonna have to pass on the task. Hope that's not jerky. Not jerky at all! I don't blame you at all. I didn't realize owner information was out there like that - my Gmail is my maiden name which is also not common at all so I wouldn't be a good person to put it together either.
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Post by tbirdlove on Feb 23, 2018 11:16:44 GMT -6
Hm. I just realized that you cannot protect the the owner info of a shared document. My gmail address is not vague at all - it's first name.lastname! And my name is not common. Not sure that I want to have my full name just floating around attached to a fully public accessible document... 😕 I think I'm gonna have to pass on the task. Hope that's not jerky. Not jerky at all! I don't blame you at all. I didn't realize owner information was out there like that - my Gmail is my maiden name which is also not common at all so I wouldn't be a good person to put it together either. I didn't realize it either! But yep, you can see the owner's full gmail address if you look at the document details. According to my google research, you cannot hide that info. And now no one is gonna wanna do it! Haha!
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Post by Dramaphile on Feb 23, 2018 12:05:17 GMT -6
Hm. I just realized that you cannot protect the the owner info of a shared document. My gmail address is not vague at all - it's first name.lastname! And my name is not common. Not sure that I want to have my full name just floating around attached to a fully public accessible document... 😕 I think I'm gonna have to pass on the task. Hope that's not jerky. Couldn't you just create an AE gmail account to make the document?
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Post by tbirdlove on Feb 23, 2018 12:11:51 GMT -6
Hm. I just realized that you cannot protect the the owner info of a shared document. My gmail address is not vague at all - it's first name.lastname! And my name is not common. Not sure that I want to have my full name just floating around attached to a fully public accessible document... 😕 I think I'm gonna have to pass on the task. Hope that's not jerky. Couldn't you just create an AE account to make the document? I thought about doing this, but then I worried about my phone and all google apps trying to then sync with it and me getting too pissed off. I already have rage issues sometimes with some google syncing, so I don't want to add fuel to that fire. Haha!
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Post by Dramaphile on Feb 23, 2018 12:35:35 GMT -6
Couldn't you just create an AE account to make the document? I thought about doing this, but then I worried about my phone and all google apps trying to then sync with it and me getting too pissed off. I already have rage issues sometimes with some google syncing, so I don't want to add fuel to that fire. Haha! I can try and do it on my laptop this weekend. Can you Pm me with info on the format you were planning on using?
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Post by tbirdlove on Feb 23, 2018 12:38:32 GMT -6
I thought about doing this, but then I worried about my phone and all google apps trying to then sync with it and me getting too pissed off. I already have rage issues sometimes with some google syncing, so I don't want to add fuel to that fire. Haha! I can try and do it on my laptop this weekend. Can you Pm me with info on the format you were planning on using? I just set it up the same as July/August 😊
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