trtlcrzy
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Post by trtlcrzy on Jun 6, 2017 21:52:51 GMT -6
That's crazy. I'm surprised she still has a job at this point. I would also get mad if I saw posts of her having a good time after calling out. I feel horrible for getting mad but at this point i literally am coming in tomorrow because I have to present her project that I finished to another team. Our manager doesn't think she can. Maybe your boss should hire another employee. It seems like it's too much for 3 people at this point. Even just a part time person would help.
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chrisy01
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Post by chrisy01 on Jun 6, 2017 21:54:42 GMT -6
I feel horrible for getting mad but at this point i literally am coming in tomorrow because I have to present her project that I finished to another team. Our manager doesn't think she can. Maybe your boss should hire another employee. It seems like it's too much for 3 people at this point. Even just a part time person would help. We are trying but since we don't make money just spend it, it's hard to get higher ups to approve head count. One of my current projects might save the company a ton of money and I was told by a director that they will give our team the money to add another member. Now I just got to do the project.
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trtlcrzy
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Post by trtlcrzy on Jun 6, 2017 22:53:22 GMT -6
H had her first accident in her big girl bed. What a pain in the butt. I need to get her more sheets. Of course her crying woke up S so now I am laying her trying to get her to fall asleep. These kids better sleep in tomorrow.
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chrisy01
Emerald
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Post by chrisy01 on Jun 7, 2017 0:22:21 GMT -6
H had her first accident in her big girl bed. What a pain in the butt. I need to get her more sheets. Of course her crying woke up S so now I am laying her trying to get her to fall asleep. These kids better sleep in tomorrow. Oh no! I hope you get some rest!
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nam2013
Emerald
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Post by nam2013 on Jun 7, 2017 0:33:22 GMT -6
Besides the eating issues, I really can't complain, ds is a very easy going child. But plus 1 to kids at this age being challenging from time to time. I've had courses on positive parenting (from a professional point of view but still) and there are times where I loose my cool, can't be positive anymore, that I just want him to understand no means no (for example when he sits on top of his sister for the 11th time that morning). We do a lot of 'sweety remember if you are a good boy tonight at bed time, you can do xyz tomorrow'.
ETA that last thing does not always work at all...
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guster
Emerald
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Post by guster on Jun 7, 2017 3:40:28 GMT -6
sing2phins I don't think anyone would disagree that you are probably among the smartest and most compassionate of us all. I think you are used to being in control and being right and that works everywhere, except in parenting. No matter how long we've been parents, we are all winging it every single day. You have high expectations for your kids and that's important but they are still really little. Just because they do a few jerky things in preschool does not mean they are going to grow up to be complete a-holes. It is hard when it seems like other kids around them are doing exactly what they are being told to do but I promise you, they are not. Let yourself judge others this week (not outloud to their face of course). We are all struggling with you. I look at my N13 boy. He's a runner. He took off from me in public 3 times today and refused to eat anything but popcorn and donuts. My other 2 never did that. But then tonight, I was putting away groceries and I had to stop and lay down because I didn't feel good and that crazy kid who didn't listen finished putting the groceries away. All on his own, all in the right place, so long as he could reach. Look for those moments even though they may be far less frequent. You have got this, even if you don't feel like you do. This. All of this. We went through a really tough time with Josie a couple of months ago and I had to take a step back to see her from a different perspective. It helped me lessen some of my exasperation with her behaviors.
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Post by snoopmommymom on Jun 7, 2017 4:59:29 GMT -6
sing2phins Everyone gave a ton of good advice, but I just wanted to say that I could basically write your posts. I lose my cool more often than I'd like to admit. I think I'm doing permanent damage to my 3 year old by how I react to him when he is being bad (primarily hitting and kicking his sister). I don't have an answer, just commiseration. If you find something that works, can you pass it on to me? I feel like I'm drowning most days. I'm hoping this is a phase that passes quickly.
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csho
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Post by csho on Jun 7, 2017 7:02:19 GMT -6
H had her first accident in her big girl bed. What a pain in the butt. I need to get her more sheets. Of course her crying woke up S so now I am laying her trying to get her to fall asleep. These kids better sleep in tomorrow. V had a nightmare that he had a potty accident in his bed. Crying and screaming at 3:30 am. He had to come sleep with us. This morning he told me there was poop in his bed but he couldn't find it. I was like no dude, there's not. The dream was that real to him.
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Post by wineallthetime on Jun 7, 2017 7:12:28 GMT -6
sing2phins, I haven't read all the responses yet, but I'm with you. C is... kinda a terror. Nothing works. I was so frustrated the other day that I spanked him (something I said I'd never do). He straight up laughed in my face after I did it. He's constantly hitting/kicking/pushing his sister. He listens to nothing we say. We've tried time outs, taking away his lovey, taking away any treats (he gets a popsicle after dinner), ignoring him, having a heart to heart with him, ect. He either just screams and screams... and screams or just laughs. Some days are better than others, but I feel like he's out of control. Yesterday he bit my MIL.
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Post by peachsmama on Jun 7, 2017 8:06:04 GMT -6
You know what makes me feel like a shitty parent? My SIL. Tonight at dinner both of my kids were losing their shit, didn't want to sit and eat (in H's case) or just wanted to be held. I try not to negotiate with terrorists but there's my niece, sitting their so nicely eating her food. Doing exactly as she is told. BIL and SIL had to go get a rental car for tomorrow and E (my niece, she's 4) stayed at the house with us. MIL told H she could have a starburst after supper and SIL already told E she couldn't have any more sweets. MIL was going to give E a piece of candy anyways and E told her no thank you, she already had her sweet for the day. Like wtf? What kid does that? No kid. She's a unicorn. Or a alien. Or hypnotized (I just watched Get Out)
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jewels
Opal
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Post by jewels on Jun 7, 2017 10:44:53 GMT -6
Like, how am I supposed to never say no? And not put her in time out for, say, hitting her brother? I'll look into it, because I would love for every day not to be a fight from literally wake up til bedtime, but I'm skeptical, tbh. J sounds like M in a lot of ways when he's seeking attention. He gets a maniacal grin/laugh that just drives us batty and runs away from us when he knows he's in trouble. When he is super angry he will hit us, kick, try to bite etc... -snip- S does this too - that maniacal laugh he does when he's misbehaving is terrible. It's the worst. I do the choices thing too and it works. Sometimes. But once he is maniacal, NOTHING works. sing2phins, I know a lot of it has been said, and I'm not sure if my words will even make any difference at this point. But I am in the same boat often. The thing with S is he is an angel literally 99% of the time. But when he escalates it's like there is no middle ground. He turns crazy in an instant. He, too, will not sit in time out. If I put him in his room, he comes running out laughing like a crazy person. I tried holding the door closed a few days ago (like @klongoria suggested) but he was pulling on it so hard that when I finally let go b/c I was afraid the handle was going to come off (it's a 100+ year old house), it hit him in the foot and injured him. I read books and listen to you girls and try so hard to not lose my temper. But I am sad to say I lose my temper at him far more than I'd like to admit.
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cagoldi
Opal
Vegan Demon
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Post by cagoldi on Jun 7, 2017 12:34:09 GMT -6
I cannot with these children. At what point do I just accept that I'm a shitty mom? If it helps, I was just thinking over the weekend that you're always going out of your way to make things fun for them and I want to try to be more like you. This phase is rough and your kids are absolutely amazing. In large part because they have a great Mom. Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
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sing2phins
Silver
And so we beat on, boats against the current
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Post by sing2phins on Jun 7, 2017 16:54:25 GMT -6
Thank you for the support and comiseration. It really does help. I'm solo for dinner and bedtime tonight, so we're picnicking at the playground and they are being amazing. I'm also trying that enthusiastic praise thing csho suggested. I feel a little ridiculous, but ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
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csho
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Post by csho on Jun 7, 2017 17:01:20 GMT -6
Thank you for the support and comiseration. It really does help. I'm solo for dinner and bedtime tonight, so we're picnicking at the playground and they are being amazing. I'm also trying that enthusiastic praise thing csho suggested. I feel a little ridiculous, but ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ I feel ridiculous too! Comes with the territory but ridiculous is better than pissed off, fo reals. I told my kid today that I'm proud of how hard he works on his outside jumping and that it makes me happy. I say shit like this all the time in public. I'm crazy.
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sing2phins
Silver
And so we beat on, boats against the current
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Post by sing2phins on Jun 7, 2017 19:11:17 GMT -6
They were so good tonight. It's like they know when I'm at the end of my rope and about to sell them to the circus. I didn't yell once and I only had to count a couple of times.
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vino
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Post by vino on Jun 7, 2017 19:14:27 GMT -6
Thank you for the support and comiseration. It really does help. I'm solo for dinner and bedtime tonight, so we're picnicking at the playground and they are being amazing. I'm also trying that enthusiastic praise thing csho suggested. I feel a little ridiculous, but ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ Because of course they're being amazing, it's like they know. They run us down almost to rock bottom and then BAM, they're angels. So. Exhausting. ETA: B is the best for me when it's just us, I explain to him on the way home that he needs to be a good boy and step up. Then he asks for the steps 😐
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Post by peachsmama on Jun 8, 2017 6:16:37 GMT -6
Thank you for the support and comiseration. It really does help. I'm solo for dinner and bedtime tonight, so we're picnicking at the playground and they are being amazing. I'm also trying that enthusiastic praise thing csho suggested. I feel a little ridiculous, but ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ Because of course they're being amazing, it's like they know. They run us down almost to rock bottom and then BAM, they're angels. So. Exhausting. ETA: B is the best for me when it's just us, I explain to him on the way home that he needs to be a good boy and step up. Then he asks for the steps 😐 Both boys are better when they're with only one of us. They actually get jealous/fight for attention with the other parent! Like if Alex and I are talking it's "mommy mommy mommy, look at this! you see this? look at this book/toy/piece of dirt!" As soon as H is quiet, they go back to not caring about me looking.
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cagoldi
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Post by cagoldi on Jun 8, 2017 9:13:18 GMT -6
I know I have mentioned it before, sing2phins but I have found giving Dude an activity where he can "be the boss" works well for us. So we'll play picnic and he can be mommy and tell me I have to eat all my carrots, teacher and he can tell me to sit quietly for Circle time while he sings, whatever. So long as he gets to orchestrate the creative play for awhile that fills his need to control the situation then he's better able to cooperate most of the rest of the day. Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
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chrisy01
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Post by chrisy01 on Jun 11, 2017 19:24:45 GMT -6
I know I have mentioned it before, sing2phins but I have found giving Dude an activity where he can "be the boss" works well for us. So we'll play picnic and he can be mommy and tell me I have to eat all my carrots, teacher and he can tell me to sit quietly for Circle time while he sings, whatever. So long as he gets to orchestrate the creative play for awhile that fills his need to control the situation then he's better able to cooperate most of the rest of the day. Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk That's a good idea. Maybe I'll try that with LO when we get back.
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Cher
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BMB, GD, Special Interests
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Post by Cher on Jun 11, 2017 20:11:54 GMT -6
Cher What type of countertop did you end up going with in your kitchen? I'm starting to look right now. Somehow I missed this, but I did quartz.
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