chrisy01
Emerald
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Post by chrisy01 on Jun 6, 2017 20:08:37 GMT -6
So I'm going in tomorrow. Things are just crazy. Oh and coworker S never came in today. She's officially got CFRA approved so she pretty much can take whatever time off she needs for medical stuff.
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chrisy01
Emerald
Posts: 10,839 Likes: 51,475
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Post by chrisy01 on Jun 6, 2017 20:09:20 GMT -6
slenle that's uncool of your dh. He owes you some brownies or wine or something
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chrisy01
Emerald
Posts: 10,839 Likes: 51,475
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Post by chrisy01 on Jun 6, 2017 20:10:05 GMT -6
cagoldi LO will be so jealous of A for the nails. I don't think I could let him because he would change his mind about the color too often.
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suza
New
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Post by suza on Jun 6, 2017 20:16:05 GMT -6
I can appreciate hearing you guys talking about having a rough time with these 3 year olds. It's not easy. I'm also trying so hard to find a balance with parenting my 2 boys, being a wife, working, running a household etc. I feel like I'm being spread so thin lately and like sing2phins, I feel so overwhelmed most days. You ladies make me realize a lot of this is actually normal. And just a phase. This too shall pass! Hang in there! And I'm thinking of you too, vino. After responding to that 3 y/o boredom over the wknd, I forgot YH is away! That has to be very tough. I give you a lot of credit!
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Post by peachsmama on Jun 6, 2017 20:18:27 GMT -6
You're married to Sheldon Cooper? I really am. There's an episode where Sheldon explains Schroedinger's Cat to Penny to illustrate a point. That exact thing has happened to me. DH hates holidays and gift giving, social occasions, other human life. He's also a terrible driver and I drive him around. He doesn't understand sarcasm and needs a fucking sign. Last year at Christmas, his boss sarcastically joked that if you don't come to the office xmas party you should work instead. DH came home all excited about having the option to work instead of attend the party and he did go to work by himself. Said it was the best thing ever. I need to meet him.
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lfig
Sapphire
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Post by lfig on Jun 6, 2017 20:19:11 GMT -6
Update: AC guy just left...air if fixed hopefully for good now. AC is a wonderful thing.
Also, FIL just called and wants to know if he can come over to have me help him order something on Amazon. He lives an hour away. It's 9:00. No, you can't come over...I'd like to go to bed. What was he thinking. I guess I should be thankful he called and didn't just show up like usual.
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Post by xolastunicornxo on Jun 6, 2017 20:21:58 GMT -6
Hugs @sing it's so freaking hard sometimes. And I feel exactly the same way you do a lot of the time. I have a short fuse and patience and then I think it's no wonder they're acting like that when I always feel like I'm yelling.
We've all been there and we're all here for you. You're an amazing mother.
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chrisy01
Emerald
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Post by chrisy01 on Jun 6, 2017 20:27:59 GMT -6
I did it!!!
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slenle
Sapphire
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Post by slenle on Jun 6, 2017 20:35:02 GMT -6
I'm sorry you're having a hard time sing2phins. You're not a terrible parent. These kids are little turds.
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Post by calimocho on Jun 6, 2017 20:36:51 GMT -6
sing2phins, I love you. Today, Evan danced around Ben singing "you want the ice cream? I have the ice cream!" and waiving the toy ice cream in his face while Ben cried. Three year olds can be jerks. I've told you this before, but I can't say it enough -- you need time for yourself. You give and give and give all day, at work and at home, and you don't ever give yourself time to recharge. How can you possibly have patience with tiny dictators when you're out of gas? You're worth it, my love.
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kim22
Amethyst
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Post by kim22 on Jun 6, 2017 20:37:31 GMT -6
sing2phins I don't think anyone would disagree that you are probably among the smartest and most compassionate of us all. I think you are used to being in control and being right and that works everywhere, except in parenting. No matter how long we've been parents, we are all winging it every single day. You have high expectations for your kids and that's important but they are still really little. Just because they do a few jerky things in preschool does not mean they are going to grow up to be complete a-holes. It is hard when it seems like other kids around them are doing exactly what they are being told to do but I promise you, they are not. Let yourself judge others this week (not outloud to their face of course). We are all struggling with you. I look at my N13 boy. He's a runner. He took off from me in public 3 times today and refused to eat anything but popcorn and donuts. My other 2 never did that. But then tonight, I was putting away groceries and I had to stop and lay down because I didn't feel good and that crazy kid who didn't listen finished putting the groceries away. All on his own, all in the right place, so long as he could reach. Look for those moments even though they may be far less frequent. You have got this, even if you don't feel like you do.
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klong11
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Post by klong11 on Jun 6, 2017 20:58:12 GMT -6
sing2phins we have had success with behavior books geared towards her age. They think it is just storytime and it opens up the discussion on good behavior and bad behavior. We have also always explained why something is not ok to do. "Don't hit your friends because it isn't nice and if you aren't nice to your friends they won't want to play with you. Do you like it when someone hits you? It isn't very nice and it makes you not want to play with them, huh?" Just remember, you're the adult and you get to set the tone. If you yell, it will escalate the situation, or at least it does in our house. I've found flat, even tones to work best. It isn't a game and it isn't funny, so stay as straight faced and calm as possible. Hard to do? Oh hell yes. Move timeout to a room with a door. If you have to stand there and hold it closed, then you do. If the entire time out is spent with them screaming and crying, then you wait until they are calm to open the door and talk it out. You've got this. You're amazing and a wonderful parent.
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sing2phins
Silver
And so we beat on, boats against the current
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Post by sing2phins on Jun 6, 2017 21:03:20 GMT -6
I know I said this on Mother's Day on FB, but really, without you guys, I would be absolutely nowhere.
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chrisy01
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Post by chrisy01 on Jun 6, 2017 21:05:54 GMT -6
sing2phins like everyone else has said you are a good mom. This is just the age where they are pushing limits. You got this lady!
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mwhip
Opal
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Post by mwhip on Jun 6, 2017 21:07:27 GMT -6
sing2phins I don't have much to add that everyone else hasnt said. You are a great mom to two beautiful kids. We all question ourselves on parenting, you are not alone. Toddlers are assholes. I hear they're still assholes for the next 15 years. Jesus, give us strength. And wine. Lots of wine.
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klong11
Emerald
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Post by klong11 on Jun 6, 2017 21:07:32 GMT -6
Cadence successfully identified the letter P, both visually and by sound at different times in the evening! I never thought I would be so excited about a single letter.
I've started working with her daily using different activities. Books, flash cards, coloring and sticker activities, apps, etc. She has zero attention span. The slightest thing distracts her, so this single letter is a major thing.
P will probably be the easiest because Paw Patrol, Peppa Pig, pink and purple are all her favorite things.
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chrisy01
Emerald
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Post by chrisy01 on Jun 6, 2017 21:09:39 GMT -6
Cadence successfully identified the letter P, both visually and by sound at different times in the evening! I never thought I would be so excited about a single letter. I've started working with her daily using different activities. Books, flash cards, coloring and sticker activities, apps, etc. She has zero attention span. The slightest thing distracts her, so this single letter is a major thing. P will probably be the easiest because Paw Patrol, Peppa Pig, pink and purple are all her favorite things. Way to go Cadence!!!
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tallb
Amethyst
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Post by tallb on Jun 6, 2017 21:18:41 GMT -6
Like, how am I supposed to never say no? And not put her in time out for, say, hitting her brother? I'll look into it, because I would love for every day not to be a fight from literally wake up til bedtime, but I'm skeptical, tbh. J sounds like M in a lot of ways when he's seeking attention. He gets a maniacal grin/laugh that just drives us batty and runs away from us when he knows he's in trouble. When he is super angry he will hit us, kick, try to bite etc... His teacher lent us the book Positive Discipline for Preschoolers and I watched how the teacher talks to the kids and it's made a world of difference. Granted it only works when I have time/energy for it, but essentially let the kids have some level of control and they are much more agreeable...so "what choice are you going to make, we hold hands and walk to the car or we hold the stroller?" And instead of time outs where they sit alone, you hold them in a bear hug and say we don't hit and I'm going to hold you to keep us both safe and until you are ready to make good choices. He will flail around for a bit and then say okay I'm ready to make good choices and we discuss who he needs to apologize to/fix. You are not a horrible parent, these kids are trying to figure out their world and testing the hell out of us. Hang in there, look for the good in the day too. I know I hold grudges after a rough morning and often don't talk for most of the drive, but inevitably j will start chatting about stuff within a few minutes and have moved on, which reminds me that I need to as well.
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csho
Platinum
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Post by csho on Jun 6, 2017 21:19:19 GMT -6
Like, how am I supposed to never say no? And not put her in time out for, say, hitting her brother? I'll look into it, because I would love for every day not to be a fight from literally wake up til bedtime, but I'm skeptical, tbh. I know I sound like I'm full of shit. I know I sound like a crazy person with stupid ideas. Hear me out. I have an example of how this works. Your child hates grocery shopping. Throws huge tantrums every. single. time. Begs for candy and cries, it's a nightmare. Every damn time you end up yelling and getting pissed off. Instead, you buy the candy bar before going to the store. As you enter the store, you hand the candy to your child to eat while you shop. As your child quietly and happily moves through the store with you, eating the candy you constantly praise them for everything under the sun because you are attending to behavior you want repeated. Over and over saying things like "Wow you are sitting so nicely in the cart, I'm proud of you!" "I love how calm you are while we're shopping, that makes me feel happy." "I am so glad when we can be together using our inside voices. You're doing a great job!" The candy is a "prompt" that you would eventually fade, the praise being enough to maintain the behavior. You would ignore and refuse to attend to poor behavior. Wait until your child is calm and immediately start in again with praise. Only poor behavior that is a serious threat to safety is attended to.
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csho
Platinum
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Post by csho on Jun 6, 2017 21:22:52 GMT -6
Cadence successfully identified the letter P, both visually and by sound at different times in the evening! I never thought I would be so excited about a single letter. I've started working with her daily using different activities. Books, flash cards, coloring and sticker activities, apps, etc. She has zero attention span. The slightest thing distracts her, so this single letter is a major thing. P will probably be the easiest because Paw Patrol, Peppa Pig, pink and purple are all her favorite things. Woohoo!
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sing2phins
Silver
And so we beat on, boats against the current
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Post by sing2phins on Jun 6, 2017 21:26:12 GMT -6
That's interesting, csho. I don't think you're crazy, I just couldn't picture it. I do try to praise her/them ton after they behave well in a restaurant or are good listeners at pickup or whatever. I guess I can try to do it more during, too. And please, don't misunderstand me. Maggie can be unbelievably sweet and thoughtful, and she's clever and smart and funny, and I adore her. But the day to day is grinding on me, bad, and I often feel like they deserve a different, better mother.
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csho
Platinum
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Post by csho on Jun 6, 2017 21:36:10 GMT -6
sing2phins, the praise is pretty much constant in the beginning. I was literally hoarse and losing my voice from the constant praising of my child. Seriously, your kid is sitting there, doing nothing and you're going to be like "YOU'RE AMAZING WHEN YOU SIT QUIETLY!"
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trtlcrzy
Moderator
Posts: 10,085 Likes: 58,458
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Post by trtlcrzy on Jun 6, 2017 21:37:12 GMT -6
So I'm going in tomorrow. Things are just crazy. Oh and coworker S never came in today. She's officially got CFRA approved so she pretty much can take whatever time off she needs for medical stuff. What sort of medical things does she have going on?
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chrisy01
Emerald
Posts: 10,839 Likes: 51,475
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Post by chrisy01 on Jun 6, 2017 21:46:54 GMT -6
So I'm going in tomorrow. Things are just crazy. Oh and coworker S never came in today. She's officially got CFRA approved so she pretty much can take whatever time off she needs for medical stuff. What sort of medical things does she have going on? She's trying an experimental procedure/medicine to get pregnant. I was very supportive at first but now she uses it as an excuse to not do work. It's really hard to be supportive when she comes up and says she's going to be b*tchy now because her medicine says she will be. Its also hard when she calls out on Friday for not feeling well and then I see FB posts of her at a club later that night. Edit: not Ronnie but to be. I don't even know how that came to be
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trtlcrzy
Moderator
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Post by trtlcrzy on Jun 6, 2017 21:48:20 GMT -6
You know what makes me feel like a shitty parent? My SIL. Tonight at dinner both of my kids were losing their shit, didn't want to sit and eat (in H's case) or just wanted to be held. I try not to negotiate with terrorists but there's my niece, sitting their so nicely eating her food. Doing exactly as she is told. BIL and SIL had to go get a rental car for tomorrow and E (my niece, she's 4) stayed at the house with us. MIL told H she could have a starburst after supper and SIL already told E she couldn't have any more sweets. MIL was going to give E a piece of candy anyways and E told her no thank you, she already had her sweet for the day. Like wtf? What kid does that?
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trtlcrzy
Moderator
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Post by trtlcrzy on Jun 6, 2017 21:49:27 GMT -6
What sort of medical things does she have going on? She's trying an experimental procedure/medicine to get pregnant. I was very supportive at first but now she uses it as an excuse to not do work. It's really hard to be supportive when she comes up and says she's going to be b*tchy now because her medicine says she will be. Its also hard when she calls out on Friday for not feeling well and then I see FB posts of her at a club later that night. Edit: not Ronnie but to be. I don't even know how that came to be That's crazy. I'm surprised she still has a job at this point. I would also get mad if I saw posts of her having a good time after calling out.
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chrisy01
Emerald
Posts: 10,839 Likes: 51,475
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Post by chrisy01 on Jun 6, 2017 21:50:27 GMT -6
You know what makes me feel like a shitty parent? My SIL. Tonight at dinner both of my kids were losing their shit, didn't want to sit and eat (in H's case) or just wanted to be held. I try not to negotiate with terrorists but there's my niece, sitting their so nicely eating her food. Doing exactly as she is told. BIL and SIL had to go get a rental car for tomorrow and E (my niece, she's 4) stayed at the house with us. MIL told H she could have a starburst after supper and SIL already told E she couldn't have any more sweets. MIL was going to give E a piece of candy anyways and E told her no thank you, she already had her sweet for the day. Like wtf? What kid does that? Unicorn children. My sister T's kids are like that. Dh compares LO to them all the time. Don't feel like a bad parent or even compare. You are a good parent with free spirited children.
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chrisy01
Emerald
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Post by chrisy01 on Jun 6, 2017 21:51:31 GMT -6
She's trying an experimental procedure/medicine to get pregnant. I was very supportive at first but now she uses it as an excuse to not do work. It's really hard to be supportive when she comes up and says she's going to be b*tchy now because her medicine says she will be. Its also hard when she calls out on Friday for not feeling well and then I see FB posts of her at a club later that night. Edit: not Ronnie but to be. I don't even know how that came to be That's crazy. I'm surprised she still has a job at this point. I would also get mad if I saw posts of her having a good time after calling out. I feel horrible for getting mad but at this point i literally am coming in tomorrow because I have to present her project that I finished to another team. Our manager doesn't think she can.
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vino
Opal
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Post by vino on Jun 6, 2017 21:52:23 GMT -6
I can appreciate hearing you guys talking about having a rough time with these 3 year olds. It's not easy. I'm also trying so hard to find a balance with parenting my 2 boys, being a wife, working, running a household etc. I feel like I'm being spread so thin lately and like sing2phins, I feel so overwhelmed most days. You ladies make me realize a lot of this is actually normal. And just a phase. This too shall pass! Hang in there! And I'm thinking of you too, vino. After responding to that 3 y/o boredom over the wknd, I forgot YH is away! That has to be very tough. I give you a lot of credit! Thank you, I appreciate it.
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chrisy01
Emerald
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Post by chrisy01 on Jun 6, 2017 21:52:23 GMT -6
Plusandalso I'm scared of how she's going to be once she is pregnant.
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