leahcar
Sapphire
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Post by leahcar on Feb 7, 2018 15:43:24 GMT -6
I know so many kids who felt safer at school than they did at home. The school is doing the right thing by Toby. I hope they share resources of where other support can be found. I'm guessing home is not super supportive if this is the particular path being requested.
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Post by mrsrgosling on Feb 7, 2018 15:54:55 GMT -6
I feel like the principal did the right thing... I also feel like it's a far stretch to say the child's privacy was violated. It wasn't. IMO. Edit to add - it doesn't sound like Toby told the principal not to tell anyone. Just not to talk to their parents about it. Sounds like the whole school is probably aware. I think the Principal did the right thing, my immediate concern was if Helen didn't work for the school a law was potentially broken. If all information to her was redacted (which she reports it was) then a law wasn't broken and privacy is intact. I don't think it's a stretch at all to worry about a student's identity to a non school non familial contact. I work in data for a school district. We take student data really seriously so that's why my hackles were up. She explained, they're back down. I still find it odd that the principal wouldn't have had someone in building proof read since the staff was to be made aware anyway, but that's a judgment call, not a privacy issue. I probably took your upped hackles to another degree. I read her email (and re-reading I probably made assumption that she clarified at some point anyway) as if the principal didn't release personal information, but was just telling Helen of the situation. I took it as we all have a "person" and we can confide to that person without ever breaching someone's privacy.
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Post by nymama917 on Feb 7, 2018 19:44:04 GMT -6
It’s a little terrifying to me personally that a child is basically living a double life. I would be so upset if that was my child and I found out through the grapevine. I like to think that My kids will know I’m accepting of their decisions no matter what and it’s a non-issue but you just never know how kids will react to things. I just don’t know how teachers and kids at school can call you one thing and understand/be aware of this major change and the parents not find out. I mean I guess if they are generally uninvolved it could happen. Maybe I’m showing my age here but if someone that I went to school with for years suddenly said start calling me Toby and don’t use he or she I feel like as someone at the school I would mention it to my parents. I mean they wouldn’t have run and told but I assume that’s how things get around. But maybe it’s so common now that kids don’t see it as a big deal and it’s not something discussed at home? I don’t think the principal did anything wrong I just don’t understand how a kid can be living a whole life at school that the parents know nothing about?!
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klondike
Sapphire
OHIO
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Post by klondike on Feb 7, 2018 20:32:02 GMT -6
nymama917 Plenty of teenagers hide a lot of things that would shock their parents. This is a little different than choosing to hide who you are dating. This is a mental health need- to have a safe place to oneself. It's sad that this has to be hidden in Toby's situation. Either Toby knows what their parents' reactions will be and won't share or has shared a little and received a negative reaction already. I'm guessing Toby is taking a calculated risk. A child, yes a teen is still a child, needs somewhere to be themselves. I'm sure Toby knows it may make it's way back to the parents, but needs to do this regardless.
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Post by GhoatMonket on Feb 7, 2018 20:41:28 GMT -6
nymama917 you are making a lot of assumptions that all parents are like you, that all parents would be understanding, that all parents know everything their child does ever. If someone you knew came out like this at school because they were fearful of how it would be received at home, and you went home and told your parents- that would have made you a fucking asshole. There was a lot of shit I knew about other kids that I didn't run home and tell mommy and daddy about.
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Post by imapenguin on Feb 7, 2018 20:52:50 GMT -6
nymama917 you are making a lot of assumptions that all parents are like you, that all parents would be understanding, that all parents know everything their child does ever. If someone you knew came out like this at school because they were fearful of how it would be received at home, and you went home and told your parents- that would have made you a fucking asshole. There was a lot of shit I knew about other kids that I didn't run home and tell mommy and daddy about. Yes, I would think in a situation like this Toby is telling their friends that their parents don’t know and if my friend had told me that in school that would mean my parent wouldn’t know.
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AmyG
Ruby
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Post by AmyG on Feb 7, 2018 21:01:52 GMT -6
If it's a big school it's easier to do one thing at school and another at home. But if it's a small school in a small town it's going to be difficult to keep it quiet. As a matter of fact a school wide email seems like begging for trouble, something written that can be forwarded to a person without an actual need to know--I'd think it needed to be kept closer to your chest like the details of an iep that isn't blasted out school wide. Like is the student actually interacting with every single teacher at school? so every teacher needs to know, or would it suffice to be just basic office staff, school nurse, and their own personal teachers?
in a small town it might be that the teachers may know the kid's parents outside of school and might let it slip even if not on purpose. or like parent teacher conferences or other school events where these teachers could be caught in a room with the student and their parent, and default speaking to the student in verbiage they always use to refer to the student and the parent would be wtf.
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klondike
Sapphire
OHIO
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Post by klondike on Feb 7, 2018 21:05:35 GMT -6
I can't imagine a teen sharing this with parents in this situation unless it's a good friend & with Toby's knowledge. DD had a girl she liked talk to me. The girl was afraid to come out to her parents & knew about DD's experience with us. But it was done with her blessing. Teens usually don't out friends to parents whether it's about sex, drugs, alcohol, gender, sexuality unless they are in danger or in need of immediate help.
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Post by GhoatMonket on Feb 7, 2018 21:30:14 GMT -6
If it's a big school it's easier to do one thing at school and another at home. But if it's a small school in a small town it's going to be difficult to keep it quiet. As a matter of fact a school wide email seems like begging for trouble, something written that can be forwarded to a person without an actual need to know--I'd think it needed to be kept closer to your chest like the details of an iep that isn't blasted out school wide. Like is the student actually interacting with every single teacher at school? so every teacher needs to know, or would it suffice to be just basic office staff, school nurse, and their own personal teachers? in a small town it might be that the teachers may know the kid's parents outside of school and might let it slip even if not on purpose. or like parent teacher conferences or other school events where these teachers could be caught in a room with the student and their parent, and default speaking to the student in verbiage they always use to refer to the student and the parent would be wtf. Staff wide, not school wide. I am giving credit that this aspect was thought through as far as everyone needing to know. I get comparing it to an IEP, but that's not necessarily the same either.
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AmyG
Ruby
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Post by AmyG on Feb 7, 2018 21:37:30 GMT -6
If it's a big school it's easier to do one thing at school and another at home. But if it's a small school in a small town it's going to be difficult to keep it quiet. As a matter of fact a school wide email seems like begging for trouble, something written that can be forwarded to a person without an actual need to know--I'd think it needed to be kept closer to your chest like the details of an iep that isn't blasted out school wide. Like is the student actually interacting with every single teacher at school? so every teacher needs to know, or would it suffice to be just basic office staff, school nurse, and their own personal teachers? in a small town it might be that the teachers may know the kid's parents outside of school and might let it slip even if not on purpose. or like parent teacher conferences or other school events where these teachers could be caught in a room with the student and their parent, and default speaking to the student in verbiage they always use to refer to the student and the parent would be wtf. Staff wide, not school wide. I am giving credit that this aspect was thought through as far as everyone needing to know. I get comparing it to an IEP, but that's not necessarily the same either. staff wide is school wide as far as I'm concerned, as in of course they didn't send it to the students. Of course we have schools with hundred+ teachers and staff that would get the email, so it would be overkill and a risk of the student's confidentiality.
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Post by nymama917 on Feb 7, 2018 23:19:52 GMT -6
nymama917 you are making a lot of assumptions that all parents are like you, that all parents would be understanding, that all parents know everything their child does ever. If someone you knew came out like this at school because they were fearful of how it would be received at home, and you went home and told your parents- that would have made you a fucking asshole. There was a lot of shit I knew about other kids that I didn't run home and tell mommy and daddy about. I guess my point is that an email went out to all the staff about this and this person is openly going by Toby at school. I just can’t imagine how it won’t get back to their parents. It’s not like hiding drugs, alcohol, a boyfriend or even being gay. You’re right it’s possible they did tell their parents got a negative reaction and went through with it anyway because that’s who they feel they are and it’s worth the risk. In my mind they are Johnny or Sally at home and then Toby at school and I just can’t see those paths never crossing from my own personal experience. It’s possible but just hard for me to picture. Sure if it was a good friend of mine I’d keep a secret for them but you could innocently make a mistake if it’s just someone you know of. You pass them at the grocery store and “hey Toby” and their mom is like wtf. Unless they go around telling everyone I’m Toby but my parents don’t know so don’t use it outside of school then I stand by my point that I can’t see it staying secret for long.
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Post by nymama917 on Feb 7, 2018 23:23:06 GMT -6
I can't imagine a teen sharing this with parents in this situation unless it's a good friend & with Toby's knowledge. DD had a girl she liked talk to me. The girl was afraid to come out to her parents & knew about DD's experience with us. But it was done with her blessing. Teens usually don't out friends to parents whether it's about sex, drugs, alcohol, gender, sexuality unless they are in danger or in need of immediate help. I agree with you on not outing friends, but you’re not friends with everyone you go to school with. Unless they shared the story that it’s a secret outside of school or parents weren’t supportive I wouldn’t think it would be something that needs to be tight to the vest is all I’m saying. Something could easily or innocently slip.
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Post by sherminator on Feb 7, 2018 23:25:52 GMT -6
My immediate thought was maybe Toby has already told the parents, they aren't supportive, & now Toby has decided to not involve the parents any longer. That's a good point, I had not thought of that. MY SO works directly with homeless youth. SO many are non -binary-lgbtq+ kids- it may not be safe for them, if they are choosing to stay at home, finish school and be whoever they want to be. So many of us held our breath and waited for college. My heart goes out to Toby, and my hope is that school continues to be a safe space.
Off topic slightly-- in my kids elementary school theres a "girls club". On the poster it states its for girls and kids who identify as girls. Amazing. sometimes we get it right.
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Post by lifesaverz on Feb 7, 2018 23:54:55 GMT -6
I think this was handled right & it also makes me really happy to hear the other anecdotes in this thread of schools protecting the kids’ privacy in this way. My H is a teacher & last year he had a kid come out to him (middle school age) about identifying as the opposite gender. Without being asked my H asked the child if they preferred the opposite pronouns, & from then on refered to them as such. He said the kid lit up, & also became a lot more open in his class. A lot of the families that attend there are Christian, & I wasn’t sure how the parents would feel if they knew, but I was so proud of him. I told him he was probably the only adult there who really made that kid feel like they could be themself.
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Post by shan-ah-doo on Feb 8, 2018 5:33:59 GMT -6
I would be sad that they didn’t want to come to me but glad they were comfortable enough to reach out to the principal. They trust this principle and I’m glad she’s not breaking their trust. Idk if that makes sense.
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Post by GhoatMonket on Feb 8, 2018 6:05:41 GMT -6
nymama917 you are making a lot of assumptions that all parents are like you, that all parents would be understanding, that all parents know everything their child does ever. If someone you knew came out like this at school because they were fearful of how it would be received at home, and you went home and told your parents- that would have made you a fucking asshole. There was a lot of shit I knew about other kids that I didn't run home and tell mommy and daddy about. I guess my point is that an email went out to all the staff about this and this person is openly going by Toby at school. I just can’t imagine how it won’t get back to their parents. It’s not like hiding drugs, alcohol, a boyfriend or even being gay. You’re right it’s possible they did tell their parents got a negative reaction and went through with it anyway because that’s who they feel they are and it’s worth the risk. In my mind they are Johnny or Sally at home and then Toby at school and I just can’t see those paths never crossing from my own personal experience. It’s possible but just hard for me to picture. Sure if it was a good friend of mine I’d keep a secret for them but you could innocently make a mistake if it’s just someone you know of. You pass them at the grocery store and “hey Toby” and their mom is like wtf. Unless they go around telling everyone I’m Toby but my parents don’t know so don’t use it outside of school then I stand by my point that I can’t see it staying secret for long. Why are you so intent on making the admin the bad guy here? Would you rather they say "No, fuck you kid. Only the name and sex on your paperwork"? You are twisting so much with your "what ifs". Do you not think Toby has thought through all of that as the person that has to deal with it? Really? You think this is something was an impulse decision? Do you think no kid has ever gone by a nickname at school that their parents weren't a part of? In Toby's case it's not a nickname per se, but can be written off as an inside joke with friends. Do you have kids in school? Do you think you are in on every last little thing that happens daily?
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Post by misskilljoy on Feb 8, 2018 6:37:00 GMT -6
The only part of this that gives me pause is giving out this information via email. My admin uses staff meetings (or calls a quick stand-up meetings at break) to give us sensitive/confidential information about staff or students. That said, I work at a small school where this is feasible. Larger schools (especially high school) may not be able to do this.
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McBenny
Unicorn
#sickomode
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Post by McBenny on Feb 8, 2018 8:20:22 GMT -6
If I am going to respect the child enough to change the pronouns and all that then I am also going to let that person decide when and how to tell their parents.
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Post by Deleted on Feb 8, 2018 8:29:31 GMT -6
Right.. i think the part that gets me is that Toby feels comfortable enough with teachers to be out but not the parents. Seems like such an odd set of circumstances. I teach in a high school in which this is actually standard practice. We have a fair number of students who identify as non-binary or transgender and they feel comfortable enough to be open about this at school. When a student would like to change their name at school they are welcome to fill out a form that will be shared with the staff. On that form they let us know how they would like us to refer to them when we speak with their parents. In a perfect world this wouldn't be necessary, but it's our job at the school to keep our students safe and they may not feel safe with their parents knowing. I really love this. Your school is doing a good thing for its kids.
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Post by nymama917 on Feb 8, 2018 8:30:31 GMT -6
I guess my point is that an email went out to all the staff about this and this person is openly going by Toby at school. I just can’t imagine how it won’t get back to their parents. It’s not like hiding drugs, alcohol, a boyfriend or even being gay. You’re right it’s possible they did tell their parents got a negative reaction and went through with it anyway because that’s who they feel they are and it’s worth the risk. In my mind they are Johnny or Sally at home and then Toby at school and I just can’t see those paths never crossing from my own personal experience. It’s possible but just hard for me to picture. Sure if it was a good friend of mine I’d keep a secret for them but you could innocently make a mistake if it’s just someone you know of. You pass them at the grocery store and “hey Toby” and their mom is like wtf. Unless they go around telling everyone I’m Toby but my parents don’t know so don’t use it outside of school then I stand by my point that I can’t see it staying secret for long. Why are you so intent on making the admin the bad guy here? Would you rather they say "No, fuck you kid. Only the name and sex on your paperwork"? You are twisting so much with your "what ifs". Do you not think Toby has thought through all of that as the person that has to deal with it? Really? You think this is something was an impulse decision? Do you think no kid has ever gone by a nickname at school that their parents weren't a part of? In Toby's case it's not a nickname per se, but can be written off as an inside joke with friends. Do you have kids in school? Do you think you are in on every last little thing that happens daily? Whoa who said I was making the admin the bad guy?? I said that I thought he did the right thing. If this is what the kid wants then I think it's fine. I mean if we're calling this a nickname then cool I can see how parents wouldn't know, but it seems a bit more of a life altering decision than that. My point is only that a staff wide email went out that this person is essentially someone different from here on out and I can't imagine this going well at home if their parents find out through the grapevine. I'm not sure why my words were so twisted into being more than that. I don't think it's wrong that the staff wide email went out....seems to be what the child wanted, but I just see living a double life ending poorly. If they are truly afraid of their parent's reaction this seems like the worst possible way for them to find out. I guess it's possible they don't and for the kids sake I hope they don't. To answer your question I do have kids but not old enough for this to be an issue yet. I'm not a fool, I hid plenty of stuff but this seems bigger than any of that.
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jrun2013
Sapphire
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Post by jrun2013 on Feb 8, 2018 8:53:55 GMT -6
If it's a big school it's easier to do one thing at school and another at home. But if it's a small school in a small town it's going to be difficult to keep it quiet. As a matter of fact a school wide email seems like begging for trouble, something written that can be forwarded to a person without an actual need to know--I'd think it needed to be kept closer to your chest like the details of an iep that isn't blasted out school wide. Like is the student actually interacting with every single teacher at school? so every teacher needs to know, or would it suffice to be just basic office staff, school nurse, and their own personal teachers? in a small town it might be that the teachers may know the kid's parents outside of school and might let it slip even if not on purpose. or like parent teacher conferences or other school events where these teachers could be caught in a room with the student and their parent, and default speaking to the student in verbiage they always use to refer to the student and the parent would be wtf. But it's our job to protect the student and not "let it slip." That is part of our job as educators. As for my example, I teach in an urban school district and no, I don't encounter every student in the school. When I get an email about a kid I don't know, I read it and move on. It's good to know in case I encounter the student in the future.
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jrun2013
Sapphire
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Post by jrun2013 on Feb 8, 2018 9:00:44 GMT -6
Staff wide, not school wide. I am giving credit that this aspect was thought through as far as everyone needing to know. I get comparing it to an IEP, but that's not necessarily the same either. staff wide is school wide as far as I'm concerned, as in of course they didn't send it to the students. Of course we have schools with hundred+ teachers and staff that would get the email, so it would be overkill and a risk of the student's confidentiality.
If a student who was named Sara at birth is asking to be called Jack by his teachers, confidentiality at school isn't a concern.
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Post by GhoatMonket on Feb 8, 2018 9:06:18 GMT -6
Why are you so intent on making the admin the bad guy here? Would you rather they say "No, fuck you kid. Only the name and sex on your paperwork"? You are twisting so much with your "what ifs". Do you not think Toby has thought through all of that as the person that has to deal with it? Really? You think this is something was an impulse decision? Do you think no kid has ever gone by a nickname at school that their parents weren't a part of? In Toby's case it's not a nickname per se, but can be written off as an inside joke with friends. Do you have kids in school? Do you think you are in on every last little thing that happens daily? Whoa who said I was making the admin the bad guy?? I said that I thought he did the right thing. If this is what the kid wants then I think it's fine. I mean if we're calling this a nickname then cool I can see how parents wouldn't know, but it seems a bit more of a life altering decision than that. My point is only that a staff wide email went out that this person is essentially someone different from here on out and I can't imagine this going well at home if their parents find out through the grapevine. I'm not sure why my words were so twisted into being more than that. I don't think it's wrong that the staff wide email went out....seems to be what the child wanted, but I just see living a double life ending poorly. If they are truly afraid of their parent's reaction this seems like the worst possible way for them to find out. I guess it's possible they don't and for the kids sake I hope they don't. To answer your question I do have kids but not old enough for this to be an issue yet. I'm not a fool, I hid plenty of stuff but this seems bigger than any of that. Stop with your knee jerk responses and make an attempt to actually read what is being said. It is quite clear that you aren't listening to the other side at all.
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Post by fosterlove on Feb 8, 2018 9:11:38 GMT -6
Soooo many people knew I was in a same sex relationship before I mentioned it to my mother. Not because I was fearful, not because I was worried about being homeless, but simply because I needed to be comfortable in my truth before I said anything in my home. I would have been crushed if someone else had shared that information. Outing someone is NEVER okay. Dictating when someone else shares their story is also not okay.
I would want to know this information from my child BUT more importantly than that, I want them to have a safe space somewhere, even if it isn't with me. In a perfect world it would always be the parent first, but that isn't always the way it plays out.
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stringy
Opal
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Post by stringy on Feb 8, 2018 9:23:48 GMT -6
Soooo many people knew I was in a same sex relationship before I mentioned it to my mother. Not because I was fearful, not because I was worried about being homeless, but simply because I needed to be comfortable in my truth before I said anything in my home. I would have been crushed if someone else had shared that information. Outing someone is NEVER okay. Dictating when someone else shares their story is also not okay. I would want to know this information from my child BUT more importantly than that, I want them to have a safe space somewhere, even if it isn't with me. In a perfect world it would always be the parent first, but that isn't always the way it plays out. Yes this - maybe school is a place to practice becoming more confident and safe while working up the courage to tell the parents. I know for me I had never ever planned on coming out to my parents - even though there was no reason to expect a negative reaction. It was terrifying. Unfortunately my girlfriend told hers - who had a completely over the top negative reaction, and I had to tell mine because otherwise they were going to. (and this was in college!). And a plus one to it feeling like such a violation when people out you - as a result of all of the drama, I was pretty much outed to everyone on campus (small place). It was ok, but it was out of my control and that greatly impacted my mental health.
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stringy
Opal
Posts: 8,306 Likes: 22,157
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Post by stringy on Feb 8, 2018 9:35:07 GMT -6
I'm also going to add that there's an element of coming out for parents- my MIL had a horrible time when we got engaged because then it was "real" and she had to tell her friends and family (some already knew). There's also the possibility that the parents know and forbid telling anyone else or are ashamed and scared. So Toby is seeking support elsewhere against their wishes.
There's just so many nuances that could be going on. The staff wide email does give me a little pause though. Are no staff friendly with these parents? Emails are so easily forwarded and reproduced.
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rvasc
Emerald
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Post by rvasc on Feb 8, 2018 9:42:21 GMT -6
I’d guess for even the most progressive and supportive parents, there is fear for how your child may be treated by other people. That would be a thing for me.
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Post by lifesaverz on Feb 8, 2018 11:32:14 GMT -6
Why are you so intent on making the admin the bad guy here? Would you rather they say "No, fuck you kid. Only the name and sex on your paperwork"? You are twisting so much with your "what ifs". Do you not think Toby has thought through all of that as the person that has to deal with it? Really? You think this is something was an impulse decision? Do you think no kid has ever gone by a nickname at school that their parents weren't a part of? In Toby's case it's not a nickname per se, but can be written off as an inside joke with friends. Do you have kids in school? Do you think you are in on every last little thing that happens daily? Whoa who said I was making the admin the bad guy?? I said that I thought he did the right thing. If this is what the kid wants then I think it's fine. I mean if we're calling this a nickname then cool I can see how parents wouldn't know, but it seems a bit more of a life altering decision than that. My point is only that a staff wide email went out that this person is essentially someone different from here on out and I can't imagine this going well at home if their parents find out through the grapevine. I'm not sure why my words were so twisted into being more than that. I don't think it's wrong that the staff wide email went out....seems to be what the child wanted, but I just see living a double life ending poorly. If they are truly afraid of their parent's reaction this seems like the worst possible way for them to find out. I guess it's possible they don't and for the kids sake I hope they don't. To answer your question I do have kids but not old enough for this to be an issue yet. I'm not a fool, I hid plenty of stuff but this seems bigger than any of that. But you’re basically describing the crux of what it’s like being someone who is transgender/non-binary/LGBTQ. They DO face the living a somewhat double life until THEY feel comfortable to come out to their friends & family. No one’s saying hiding it is the ideal route but that’s just the reality for a lot of these kids for at least a brief time in their life if not longer. I’m not sure why you can’t see that. Coming out about this is a hard thing to do whether family will accept you or not.
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Post by lifesaverz on Feb 8, 2018 11:36:18 GMT -6
Soooo many people knew I was in a same sex relationship before I mentioned it to my mother. Not because I was fearful, not because I was worried about being homeless, but simply because I needed to be comfortable in my truth before I said anything in my home. I would have been crushed if someone else had shared that information. Outing someone is NEVER okay. Dictating when someone else shares their story is also not okay. I would want to know this information from my child BUT more importantly than that, I want them to have a safe space somewhere, even if it isn't with me. In a perfect world it would always be the parent first, but that isn't always the way it plays out. Yes this - maybe school is a place to practice becoming more confident and safe while working up the courage to tell the parents. I know for me I had never ever planned on coming out to my parents - even though there was no reason to expect a negative reaction. It was terrifying. Unfortunately my girlfriend told hers - who had a completely over the top negative reaction, and I had to tell mine because otherwise they were going to. (and this was in college!). And a plus one to it feeling like such a violation when people out you - as a result of all of the drama, I was pretty much outed to everyone on campus (small place). It was ok, but it was out of my control and that greatly impacted my mental health. I was also coming in here to say this too. There’s not always something as serious as a threat of being kicked out or disowned behind people’s desire not to disclose yet to their families. It can be as simple as they don’t feel ready, or are afraid of being seen differently, or maybe being judged. And those are just as fine of reasons. I would absolutely hope my kid felt comfortable to come out to me about this stuff, but I also respect their process of readiness & understand it’s not easy.
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Post by misskilljoy on Feb 8, 2018 11:42:11 GMT -6
Yes this - maybe school is a place to practice becoming more confident and safe while working up the courage to tell the parents. I know for me I had never ever planned on coming out to my parents - even though there was no reason to expect a negative reaction. It was terrifying. Unfortunately my girlfriend told hers - who had a completely over the top negative reaction, and I had to tell mine because otherwise they were going to. (and this was in college!). And a plus one to it feeling like such a violation when people out you - as a result of all of the drama, I was pretty much outed to everyone on campus (small place). It was ok, but it was out of my control and that greatly impacted my mental health. I was also coming in here to say this too. There’s not always something as serious as a threat of being kicked out or disowned behind people’s desire not to disclose yet to their families. It can be as simple as they don’t feel ready, or are afraid of being seen differently, or maybe being judged. And those are just as fine of reasons. I would absolutely hope my kid felt comfortable to come out to me about this stuff, but I also respect their process of readiness & understand it’s not easy. I'm 33 and still have not told my parents or siblings that I'm bisexual. I may never. They're supportive, open minded people... and this is likely my anxiety at work, but I still worry that if they ever found out, their reaction could be bad. It's a non-issue because I'm happily married to a man and STILL don't feel like I'm ready to tell them. I don't know anyone's reasons for disclosing or not disclosing. I don't need to. Their life, their choice. I can't imagine life as an LGBTQ+ teen if your family was vocally against it.
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