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Post by wineallthetime on Jan 29, 2018 12:33:36 GMT -6
I'm enjoying reading the thread on parenting about what you'd do if you had $1,000 to spend on yourself. Something fun and not taking into account bills, house projects, ect. I'm reading it too, but we should play here. I'd be really interested in everybody's responses. And I've been trying to come up with one for myself but it usually goes to house projects. Yes!!!!! Let's!!!
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Post by wineallthetime on Jan 29, 2018 12:35:01 GMT -6
I'm hoping it's just from lack of sleep this weekend. Also, I just dropped Josie off at school and there are six kids in her class and four of them were absent, as well as her teacher. The only other kid that was there is a little boy who had the flu two weeks ago, and now his little sister is in the hospital with the flu. I want to go scoop up my girl so badly. Eek! Hopefully yours is from lack or sleep or weather changes or something!
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Post by wineallthetime on Jan 29, 2018 12:40:30 GMT -6
vino I usually tell myself as long as my kid isn't getting hurt, I can deal with some whining/poor behavior, etc. Kids go through so many stages so quickly, he might just be in a clingy one. Sometimes it's going to be my kid who's going through a tough stage, and I am grateful when others cut us some slack. If you really get along with this mom, I would say don't throw the relationship away too easily. Mom friends are worth their weight in gold! I totally try to be like this to an extent as far as kid behavior goes. I can totally understand a bad day or stage, obviously we have had plenty of days like this where my kid is the whiny/clingy/tantrumy one. I get it. I think it just changes a bit when you see the parent not really reacting to the behavior and it being a constant behavior. Makes it hard to want to do play dates when they upset your kid or end up being super exhausting. I agree that mom friends are tough to come by though!
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cagoldi
Opal
Vegan Demon
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Post by cagoldi on Jan 29, 2018 12:42:00 GMT -6
LOL
Raises company wide were 1-1.5% and nobody got bonuses so I got a whopping 1.12%.
What to do with all that money?!
And our stock price is so high they're talking about splitting. Assholes.
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tgrimes
Diamond
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Post by tgrimes on Jan 29, 2018 12:48:50 GMT -6
LOL Raises company wide were 1-1.5% and nobody got bonuses so I got a whopping 1.12%. What to do with all that money?! And our stock price is so high they're talking about splitting. Assholes. That sucks, I'm sorry.
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Post by dapostrophe on Jan 29, 2018 12:50:36 GMT -6
vino I usually tell myself as long as my kid isn't getting hurt, I can deal with some whining/poor behavior, etc. Kids go through so many stages so quickly, he might just be in a clingy one. Sometimes it's going to be my kid who's going through a tough stage, and I am grateful when others cut us some slack. If you really get along with this mom, I would say don't throw the relationship away too easily. Mom friends are worth their weight in gold! For sure. I definitely want to keep her as a friend and let the boys figure it out, but I'm just seeing this happening more and more and B is making comments that A cries and doesnt want to play, I'm just waiting for the day where he doesnt ask to play with him anymore because of this. Then what? (rhetorical question) do I disregard B and set up play dates anyway? Ugh, so tough. Anyway, I'm probably overthinking it. Do you think it could be environment? Like does the other kid get over-stimulated easily? And would she be open to you broaching the subject gently? Like " Hey, I've noticed A doesn't seem as interested in playing with B lately and he seems more agitated when we get together. Did anything happen or is there some way we can make him more comfortable?" Otherwise, it sounds like you just have a more confident kiddo. Maybe prep him before visits and say sometimes A will want to play and sometimes he won't, but B can still choose to have fun. FTR I don't think you are over thinking it. I've got a situation with a mom who's kid throws toys at my kids' heads and dog that is starting to mouth in ways I'm not comfortable with, so I'm talking this out for myself too 😉
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tgrimes
Diamond
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Post by tgrimes on Jan 29, 2018 12:50:58 GMT -6
If I were to stalk you, where might you be located? I'm where you can't go. But text me and I can meet up. Will do.
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Post by dapostrophe on Jan 29, 2018 13:04:44 GMT -6
I totally try to be like this to an extent as far as kid behavior goes. I can totally understand a bad day or stage, obviously we have had plenty of days like this where my kid is the whiny/clingy/tantrumy one. I get it. I think it just changes a bit when you see the parent not really reacting to the behavior and it being a constant behavior. Makes it hard to want to do play dates when they upset your kid or end up being super exhausting. I agree that mom friends are tough to come by though! Totally agree, and everyone has a different threshold for when the visits just aren't enjoyable anymore. I try to separate my (understandable) annoyance from what is truly harmful. It's not easy! I keep having to remind myself that everyone is doing the best they can and then go ahead and model some perfect parenting for them if necessary 😉 Haha...yeah right. I KNOW I'm that mom in many cases. Which is prob why I'm WK-ing this scenario.
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cagoldi
Opal
Vegan Demon
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Post by cagoldi on Jan 29, 2018 13:21:03 GMT -6
I know my Dude is Kid A in this scenario sometimes.
Gets overwhelmed easily and doesn't cry but can't seem to put whatever his feelings are aside so he can just have fun in the moment.
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joelies
Sapphire
You must chill
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Post by joelies on Jan 29, 2018 13:24:00 GMT -6
tgrimes - You've already gotten a bunch of recs I would have made, but wanted to add in Ponte as well. Wiens was also good for "big" reds. Lunch at South Coast was decent but I really enjoyed lunch on the patio at Miramonte.
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jewels
Opal
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Post by jewels on Jan 29, 2018 13:29:27 GMT -6
I'm enjoying reading the thread on parenting about what you'd do if you had $1,000 to spend on yourself. Something fun and not taking into account bills, house projects, ect. Funny - I was lurking over there yesterday and actually asked MH this and then we talked about it ourselves for a while.
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Post by wineallthetime on Jan 29, 2018 13:31:32 GMT -6
I'm enjoying reading the thread on parenting about what you'd do if you had $1,000 to spend on yourself. Something fun and not taking into account bills, house projects, ect. Funny - I was lurking over there yesterday and actually asked MH this and then we talked about it ourselves for a while. Starting a thread, curious what people would choose!
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vino
Opal
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Post by vino on Jan 29, 2018 13:33:31 GMT -6
For sure. I definitely want to keep her as a friend and let the boys figure it out, but I'm just seeing this happening more and more and B is making comments that A cries and doesnt want to play, I'm just waiting for the day where he doesnt ask to play with him anymore because of this. Then what? (rhetorical question) do I disregard B and set up play dates anyway? Ugh, so tough. Anyway, I'm probably overthinking it. Do you think it could be environment? Like does the other kid get over-stimulated easily? And would she be open to you broaching the subject gently? Like " Hey, I've noticed A doesn't seem as interested in playing with B lately and he seems more agitated when we get together. Did anything happen or is there some way we can make him more comfortable?" Otherwise, it sounds like you just have a more confident kiddo. Maybe prep him before visits and say sometimes A will want to play and sometimes he won't, but B can still choose to have fun. FTR I don't think you are over thinking it. I've got a situation with a mom who's kid throws toys at my kids' heads and dog that is starting to mouth in ways I'm not comfortable with, so I'm talking this out for myself too 😉 Thank you for the highlighted area, I may try and use this to talk with my friend. But otherwise yes, I have prepped B, talked with A, tried different locations etc to try and get the best play time out there. I am certainly not being bitchy in just being annoyed at this kid. I guess that those chats with kids, mine and others, goes without saying, to me anyways. But the other side of this is that we get together at sportball on Saturdays for 45 min where A sits on the sidelines, after 13 classes, then we have a play date for a few hours on a Sunday afternoon, usually in a public place. So how much effort to i put into trying to make A want to play, make B deal with A not wanting to play and crying. Play dates are supposed to be fun and a good way to end the weekend, and the last couple have been exhausting.
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Post by wineallthetime on Jan 29, 2018 13:39:37 GMT -6
I don't think what vino is saying is the same as just not being tolerant of a less confident or slightly annoying kid. This seems like a totally different situation where it's hard to move forward when niether kid seems to be having fun and it makes for an exhausting experience for the parents.
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tgrimes
Diamond
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Post by tgrimes on Jan 29, 2018 13:43:15 GMT -6
Don't mind me while I sit here and drool over the menus at these wineries.
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Post by wineallthetime on Jan 29, 2018 13:45:03 GMT -6
L calls ponytails, "pinot". She thinks like her mom.
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vino
Opal
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Post by vino on Jan 29, 2018 13:50:27 GMT -6
I don't think what vino is saying is the same as just not being tolerant of a less confident or slightly annoying kid. This seems like a totally different situation where it's hard to move forward when niether kid seems to be having fun and it makes for an exhausting experience for the parents. Yes. Thank you. I am the first one to make sure that everyone is included, gets along, aware of others feelings etc. But I feel like I am at an Y in the road to ensure that A gets what he needs and spend my energy on him, who is not my kid, and ignoring B's needs . I am B's parent, so my focus needs to be on him and I can only talk to him so much about how to deal with A if there is no improvement.
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Post by wineallthetime on Jan 29, 2018 14:01:13 GMT -6
Random Monday thought. Why does Nick Jonas make such weird facial expressions? He'd be so much more attractive if he didn't always look constipated.
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trtlcrzy
Moderator
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Post by trtlcrzy on Jan 29, 2018 14:07:07 GMT -6
vino maybe a more one-on-one play date at one of your houses would be a better idea. It sounds like he wants to be the center of B’s attention.
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vino
Opal
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Post by vino on Jan 29, 2018 14:12:23 GMT -6
vino maybe a more one-on-one play date at one of your houses would be a better idea. It sounds like he wants to be the center of B’s attention. This is where we left things yesterday, we both agreed that a home play date next time. If it works, then great, but I can guarantee that they will see each other less and less because with B being who he is I know he'd easily fall into a passive, clingy kid since his nature at his core isnt an outgoing kid. We do so much to get his confidence up that if we retreat now, it wont be good for him at all.
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wedding
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Post by wedding on Jan 29, 2018 14:49:39 GMT -6
vino,I hear you on trying to find a friend match for your kid. C is a borderline bad behavior type kid. Like he won't start it but if another kid is breaking the rules he will join in a second. It's been interesting trying to find matches for him that are outgoing/energetic enough but won't cross that line. I wish you lived close because a kid like B would be a good match for him!
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wedding
Emerald
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Post by wedding on Jan 29, 2018 14:51:00 GMT -6
It was just announced that we are having casual Friday in support of the Patriots this week and also a lunch time tailgate pot luck. I hate sports but I am excited to wear my jeans to work.
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cagoldi
Opal
Vegan Demon
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Post by cagoldi on Jan 29, 2018 14:53:26 GMT -6
Good news: I passed my two hour glucose test. My iron is just a tad low but that's normal for me during pregnancy so I'll start to take a pill every few days. The OB is having me come in tomorrow to check out my suspected breast infection.
Bad news: apparently, grandma does have cancer. I'm not surprised, really? I thought it was suspicious last week when they told my mom it was benign right when the surgery finished. Don't they always have to send off for additional testing?
So anyway. Sounds like she doesn't want to do chemo or radiation so we need to get out there to see her in the next few weeks. My mom is nervous that I'm going to be driving around in the desert around 29 weeks but I'm okay with any time before 32 weeks and my doctor should be too.
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Post by wineallthetime on Jan 29, 2018 14:55:04 GMT -6
cagoldi, great news about the glucose test! I'm sorry to hear about your grandma though
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wedding
Emerald
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Post by wedding on Jan 29, 2018 14:56:17 GMT -6
cagoldi,I'm sorry about your gram. I hope you can make it out to see her.
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vino
Opal
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Post by vino on Jan 29, 2018 14:56:27 GMT -6
Sorry about your Grandma cagoldi, be careful going to see her but hopefully it'll be a nice visit
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cagoldi
Opal
Vegan Demon
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Post by cagoldi on Jan 29, 2018 15:00:34 GMT -6
Sorry about your Grandma cagoldi, be careful going to see her but hopefully it'll be a nice visit It's not a super long drive but it's pretty desolate. I would go with my mom and sisters. Sounds like a turn around trip to Vegas the weekend of the 10th then one to AZ the weekend of the 17th might be on the agenda.
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Post by dapostrophe on Jan 29, 2018 15:13:37 GMT -6
I don't think what vino is saying is the same as just not being tolerant of a less confident or slightly annoying kid. This seems like a totally different situation where it's hard to move forward when niether kid seems to be having fun and it makes for an exhausting experience for the parents. Yes. Thank you. I am the first one to make sure that everyone is included, gets along, aware of others feelings etc. But I feel like I am at an Y in the road to ensure that A gets what he needs and spend my energy on him, who is not my kid, and ignoring B's needs . I am B's parent, so my focus needs to be on him and I can only talk to him so much about how to deal with A if there is no improvement. I hope you did'nt feel I was insinuating otherwise, I did not intend for you to have to justify your position at all. Not that my opinion matters, but I certainly would assume you are thoughtful about the situation and would give the kid the benefit of the doubt (and I probably should have said that). On the other hand, many of us encounter these types of situations, so sometimes it's helpful to explore all the angles in a more general way. I can see how that might not have come across, and it could have felt more personal. I opened it up because I am dealing with a similar situation, so I'm currently wrestling with this one myself. I know I have to sometimes challenge my own biases or preferences for comfort, but it sounds like you've already done the hard work, so feel free to ignore me! That being said, I totally get it, and it sounds like you've thought it through and may be at your wits end already. You know your kid best, so if you feel it's becoming detrimental to him (and by extension you), it does'nt benefit anyone to force the situation.
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tgrimes
Diamond
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Post by tgrimes on Jan 29, 2018 15:22:11 GMT -6
cagoldi I'm so sorry to hear about your grandma.
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kim22
Amethyst
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Post by kim22 on Jan 29, 2018 15:22:36 GMT -6
cagoldi sorry it's cancer. I hope you can make the trip soon and your doctor can help with the infection.
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