|
Post by numbears on Jan 7, 2018 4:48:30 GMT -6
I started back on papers. I don't even remember where I left off and they're sorted already, but it's still pretty overwhelming. Plus, DH saves every single piece of mail so it just piles up.
We have three large totes full of papers that I'm going to try to condense down into 3 accordion file folders.
|
|
|
Post by numbears on Jan 7, 2018 6:17:38 GMT -6
I started back on papers. I don't even remember where I left off and they're sorted already, but it's still pretty overwhelming. Plus, DH saves every single piece of mail so it just piles up. We have three large totes full of papers that I'm going to try to condense down into 3 accordion file folders. I know it would take more time but could you scan them? Then you don’t need any folders/totes etc. Oooh that's a really good idea for some of them. Some things I have to have hard copies of, but maybe I could reduce it down more.
|
|
|
Post by thechickencoop on Jan 7, 2018 7:34:59 GMT -6
I have been practicing this and working my way through the house over the past few months, but I need you guys to help me with the baby toys/ clothes situation. People won’t stop giving us stuff, which I realize is a good problem to have... but we don’t have much storage and it’s stuff we don’t want or need. Last night my MIL gave us a bunch of MH’s old clothes. They’re hideous, stained, and worn. But they include things like the outfit he went home from the hospital in, and stuff I feel guilty getting rid of. Does anyone have an approach that works for them? I try to only take about half of what she offers, but I can tell even that hurts her feelings. There isn’t a convenient place for us to donate- we have to make a deliberate trip to go drop stuff off so it sits around the house for a while. Save meeeee! If it's stained, torn, worn out, etc, in the trash it goes. Thank his coming home outfit for keeping him warm on the way home and toss it. (Or donate if it's in good condition) What's your H want to do with it all? And I WOULD make that deliberate trip to donate. It's a valid errand.
|
|
leahcar
Sapphire
Posts: 4,503 Likes: 18,862
|
Post by leahcar on Jan 7, 2018 7:46:00 GMT -6
misspatty, does any organization do pick ups near you? Salvation Army did in our old city. They aren't my favorite, but I donated furniture, for example, to them almost exclusively as it prevented me from having to load it. I absolutely think it's worth a donation trip to free up some of that space though!
|
|
|
Post by Deleted on Jan 7, 2018 7:48:20 GMT -6
misspatty why did she give them to you? Because they're sentimental to her and assumes they would be to you, or for you to use them? If 1, have the nice ones made into a pillow and give it back to her for mother's day. If 2, pitch them.
|
|
hawkward
Global Moderator
Loss, Infertility
Posts: 19,638 Likes: 123,092
|
Post by hawkward on Jan 7, 2018 7:59:12 GMT -6
misspatty We've gotten some... interesting things from MIL for the boys that she saved from H. We keep one or two decent things, photograph the kids in them, and then release them (usually to the trash because they're too stained, old, etc. to be useful to anyone else). I tell myself that they've served the purpose of MIL feel like she's helping, and that's enough. We got a small box to save a couple of things H is sentimental about too. It's the size of a shoebox but sturdier, and it's on the top shelf of our linen closet where we've kept a few things of the boys' too.
|
|
sterling
Global Moderator
GD
Posts: 15,049 Likes: 130,319
|
Post by sterling on Jan 7, 2018 8:05:48 GMT -6
Tlex I feel like you need to become an official consultant and start doing this for people IRL! Speaking of... Tlex, do you think the purge then konmari what's left strategy is the right call? I feel like it's so much easier to get rid of the things I know I am going to get rid of anyway before tackling a category, but is that going to keep me in a downward spiral of decluttering forever?
|
|
|
Post by thechickencoop on Jan 7, 2018 8:09:37 GMT -6
If it's stained, torn, worn out, etc, in the trash it goes. Thank his coming home outfit for keeping him warm on the way home and toss it. (Or donate if it's in good condition) What's your H want to do with it all? And I WOULD make that deliberate trip to donate. It's a valid errand. MH doesn’t really care. He’d probably keep it out of laziness if it was just him, but wouldn’t ever find a spot and would probably sit on the kitchen table for 6 months. Maybe longer. Lol. I do make the trip but driving 30 minutes out of my way every other weekend is getting annoying. His aunt bought us literally 40 outfits for the baby for Christmas. 4-0. Whyyyyy? It’s so excessive. No gift receipts, too. I like 6 of the outfits and kept 2 more out of practicality. Dude. Your H needs to shut this shit down. And the baby teeth? Wtf. Do the outfits have tags? I'd probably be making a trip to walmart/target/bru to try to return the extras.
|
|
hawkward
Global Moderator
Loss, Infertility
Posts: 19,638 Likes: 123,092
|
Post by hawkward on Jan 7, 2018 8:16:17 GMT -6
I think it's interesting to see what categories are and are not hard for people, like the boys' clothes was hard for me but paper was super easy.
|
|
|
Post by numbears on Jan 7, 2018 8:17:33 GMT -6
misspatty why did she give them to you? Because they're sentimental to her and assumes they would be to you, or for you to use them? If 1, have the nice ones made into a pillow and give it back to her for mother's day. If 2, pitch them. She wants us to use them. I’ve turned down a fair amount of stuff- like his tooth fairy pillow with ALL his baby teeth still in it 😱- but she was upset I said no to that and I felt bad about the coming home outfit. But this is a really good idea. She is what I would classify as a very tidy and organized hoarder, so things seem to really have a lot of value to her. She might really appreciate something like that. Teeth still in it.... Reminder to self to not do that. When family gives us clothes/toys/etc. for DS, I thank them, keep anything that I really like, throw out anything that's not in good condition, & donate the rest. I don't think anyone's ever actually looked for anything. He's so young and outgrows things fast, so from that POV there's no telling what happened to it. Do you think she'll actually look for anything?
|
|
hawkward
Global Moderator
Loss, Infertility
Posts: 19,638 Likes: 123,092
|
Post by hawkward on Jan 7, 2018 8:18:22 GMT -6
This is very morbid, but I don't really mind MIL giving us stuff, because now that H's parents are getting older and not in great health, we're starting to think about how we'll be cleaning out their house in the not so distant future. These things that she's giving us now are things that we won't have to sort later, and MIL is a hoarder, so there will be a LOT of stuff.
|
|
|
Post by fosterlove on Jan 7, 2018 8:31:15 GMT -6
misspatty, once it comes into your house, YOU are in control of what happens to it next without guilt. Is there a local women’s shelter you can donate to instead of a 30 minute drive? Check your town hall’s dept of human / social services - ours does a clothing closet for families in our town that need help. Or, just ship a massive box to fosterlove! 😁 I’ll take it!
|
|
|
Post by thechickencoop on Jan 7, 2018 8:33:13 GMT -6
|
|
|
Post by thechickencoop on Jan 7, 2018 8:38:25 GMT -6
Lol no. That part broke on our dishwasher over a year ago. Decided to finally replace it. 😂😂😂 I was like...dishwasher what? Glad you're getting it fixed!!!
|
|
|
Post by sweptaway on Jan 7, 2018 8:48:49 GMT -6
misspatty why did she give them to you? Because they're sentimental to her and assumes they would be to you, or for you to use them? If 1, have the nice ones made into a pillow and give it back to her for mother's day. If 2, pitch them. She wants us to use them. I’ve turned down a fair amount of stuff- like his tooth fairy pillow with ALL his baby teeth still in it 😱- but she was upset I said no to that and I felt bad about the coming home outfit. But this is a really good idea. She is what I would classify as a very tidy and organized hoarder, so things seem to really have a lot of value to her. She might really appreciate something like that. Honestly if you are getting THAT MUCH from her it might be time for your H to talk to her. Maybe he could explain that you are just overwhelmed with items right now. I know it'll hurt her feelings but if she's expecting to see you using the stuff she's giving you....
|
|
|
Post by sweptaway on Jan 7, 2018 8:50:54 GMT -6
Lol no. That part broke on our dishwasher over a year ago. Decided to finally replace it. That part had been broken on my dishwasher since the week we bought it 😂😂
|
|
|
Post by Deleted on Jan 7, 2018 8:51:06 GMT -6
misspatty why did she give them to you? Because they're sentimental to her and assumes they would be to you, or for you to use them? If 1, have the nice ones made into a pillow and give it back to her for mother's day. If 2, pitch them. She wants us to use them. I’ve turned down a fair amount of stuff- like his tooth fairy pillow with ALL his baby teeth still in it 😱- but she was upset I said no to that and I felt bad about the coming home outfit. But this is a really good idea. She is what I would classify as a very tidy and organized hoarder, so things seem to really have a lot of value to her. She might really appreciate something like that. TEETH 😱😵😱 My mom tried to give me a bunch of my old clothes for my DDs, but all the elastic was rotten so things just pulled apart and crumbled. Made me feel REAL old, lol. I told her they meant more to her than me, and I'd eventually make a quilt for her out of the ones in better shape if she wanted to still hang onto them.
|
|
|
Post by thechickencoop on Jan 7, 2018 8:56:54 GMT -6
She wants us to use them. I’ve turned down a fair amount of stuff- like his tooth fairy pillow with ALL his baby teeth still in it 😱- but she was upset I said no to that and I felt bad about the coming home outfit. But this is a really good idea. She is what I would classify as a very tidy and organized hoarder, so things seem to really have a lot of value to her. She might really appreciate something like that. TEETH 😱😵😱 My mom tried to give me a bunch of my old clothes for my DDs, but all the elastic was rotten so things just pulled apart and crumbled. Made me feel REAL old, lol. I told her they meant more to her than me, and I'd eventually make a quilt for her out of the ones in better shape if she wanted to still hang onto them. Ahhh don't feel old! When it started to get cold I pulled out our flannel crib sheets from when DS used it (5 years ago) and the elastic was completely dry rotted. So DS2 got brand new flannel sheets. They're way cuter anyway so it worked out. But...that happened after just 5 years! Lol.
|
|
Tlex
Ruby
Posts: 22,759 Likes: 154,991
|
Post by Tlex on Jan 7, 2018 9:26:48 GMT -6
Tlex I feel like you need to become an official consultant and start doing this for people IRL! Speaking of... Tlex, do you think the purge then konmari what's left strategy is the right call? I feel like it's so much easier to get rid of the things I know I am going to get rid of anyway before tackling a category, but is that going to keep me in a downward spiral of decluttering forever? No, I do not encourage that, because you will exhaust yourself before you even begin. The categories are really comprehensive and they help you build up the emotional experience that helps you get in touch with what's important to you and what's not. It goes faster and faster even though the categories get broader. Someone made this to help you get an idea of what will be tackled in each category and it's pretty comprehensive. I mean if you have a garage full of boxes labelled "utter crap, never want to see again" that's different. ETA: I do not like the message under the headline in that graphic that's says discard intensely and completely etc. I think it should be written to focus on keeping what sparks joy/is truly useful to you.
|
|
|
Post by peachsmama on Jan 7, 2018 9:31:11 GMT -6
HE HAS THREE WIVES?? H drives me up a wall with his piles. Like...just put it away! Nononono, if it is going to be used at any point in the future it *must* be kept out and in plain sight. Even if it's 3-4 weeks in the future..
|
|
pobre
Ruby
Posts: 22,376 Likes: 203,355
|
Post by pobre on Jan 7, 2018 9:31:52 GMT -6
Am I the only one who has like, no paper? Guess that will be an easy category.
Today we are doing toys, books, and craft supplies today.
|
|
sterling
Global Moderator
GD
Posts: 15,049 Likes: 130,319
|
Post by sterling on Jan 7, 2018 9:35:33 GMT -6
Am I the only one who has like, no paper? Guess that will be an easy category. Today we are doing toys, books, and craft supplies today. Ours is super limited. This category doesn’t worry me at all. I’m sure I have a few things to shred, but it’s not daunting.
|
|
trueblue
Sapphire
Posts: 4,534 Likes: 16,364
|
Post by trueblue on Jan 7, 2018 9:36:35 GMT -6
I need you guys to help me with the baby toys/ clothes situation. People won’t stop giving us stuff, which I realize is a good problem to have... but we don’t have much storage and it’s stuff we don’t want or need. Last night my MIL gave us a bunch of MH’s old clothes. They’re hideous, stained, and worn. But they include things like the outfit he went home from the hospital in, and stuff I feel guilty getting rid of. Does anyone have an approach that works for them? This is my MIL, and now that we have moved past the baby stage of life she is sending over all the keepsakes from DH''s childhood. As we are currently full up on the keepsakes from our kids, I just let DH decide what he wants to do with them, and 99.9% goes into the garbage - clothes are stained / out of style / don't fit. Toys automatically get picked because who knows what chemicals/toxins are in them. MIL is happy that she passed it on, there is no tension, and we don't feel guilty for holding onto memories that aren't really ours. It works because she never asks about it.
|
|
|
Post by Deleted on Jan 7, 2018 9:57:06 GMT -6
Am I the only one who has like, no paper? Guess that will be an easy category. Today we are doing toys, books, and craft supplies today. This one makes me nervous only because it's not all in one place so I'll need to go track things down from all the places we've ferreted things away. Why are there important papers in the cabinet above the fridge?! I have no idea.
|
|
Tlex
Ruby
Posts: 22,759 Likes: 154,991
|
Post by Tlex on Jan 7, 2018 9:58:09 GMT -6
misspatty I am all too familiar with that struggle. I think you have to think of it in two ways. 1- they are unloading their stuff onto you as a way of not having to emotionally deal with letting go of it, and now, they've unkindly burdened you with the emotional task of letting it go! Rude. Do you feel less guilty when you think of it that way? I do. I'm like welllllll then let me help you and it will be a good deed to let this item go altogether, im such a generous person to handle that task for you. 😇 2- If it was truly given with the spirit of giving, and meant to bring you joy, then it's already served its purpose. It allowed the giver to express that to you, and you to receive it graciously for what it was - an expression of giving. Keeping unwanted gifts doesn't add to either of your experiences so it may be released. Better the item go on to its next purpose than sit stagnating until it's no longer useful or worse. If it's already in the "or worse" stage then time to let it go disintegrate somewhere and be on to its next molecular life 😝.
|
|
Tlex
Ruby
Posts: 22,759 Likes: 154,991
|
Post by Tlex on Jan 7, 2018 10:00:55 GMT -6
I'm so jealous pobre our paper situation was terrifying. MH has major anxiety about letting go of papers. So far, no one has put us in jail for shredding all that junk.
|
|
|
Post by peachsmama on Jan 7, 2018 10:03:38 GMT -6
I apply certain aspects to my stuff. I really like her way of folding clothes but everything I pull out an item everything falls over. Yes! And when my kids shut their drawers everything slides all over. I bought 3 packs of small baskets at the dollar tree and use them to keep half full rows of clothes from sliding. Then put socks or gloves in the baskets.
|
|
|
Post by peachsmama on Jan 7, 2018 10:15:49 GMT -6
Am I the only one who has like, no paper? Guess that will be an easy category. Today we are doing toys, books, and craft supplies today. I don't either. I have a safety deposit box with birth certificates and passports. And I shred everything else as soon I pay it. Dh knows to tell me if he's keeping a magazine or in the trash it goes!
|
|
pobre
Ruby
Posts: 22,376 Likes: 203,355
|
Post by pobre on Jan 7, 2018 10:54:18 GMT -6
Toys and crafts are done! DS was really into it and picked out what he wanted to trash/donate.
Arts and crafts was mostly organizing, no trashing.
Still need to do books. That’ll be much harder.
|
|
teraiin
Amethyst
Posts: 7,133 Likes: 19,548
|
Post by teraiin on Jan 7, 2018 11:20:10 GMT -6
Two things.
One I really want to do this.
Two: I’m pretty sure my friend is doing this and I’ve become the dumping ground as she has twin boys about a year older than mine. 😬😬😬
|
|