zoeylucy
Amethyst
Posts: 7,162 Likes: 26,488
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Post by zoeylucy on Dec 13, 2023 9:05:22 GMT -6
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abs
Sapphire
Posts: 4,037 Likes: 20,918
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Post by abs on Dec 13, 2023 9:14:18 GMT -6
I’m thinking of everyone experiencing loss and other heavy things right now. I’m sorry doesn’t seem adequate but I truly am.
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Post by icedcoffee on Dec 13, 2023 9:18:41 GMT -6
angelashly thank you! I think that's amazing of you thinking of doing so after all the loss your DD has gone through ❤️
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AmyG
Ruby
Posts: 15,372 Likes: 33,957
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Post by AmyG on Dec 13, 2023 10:03:34 GMT -6
Too much cancer. Fuck cancer. My older sister has stage 4 metastatic cancer. She was cancer "free" for 15 years. I say free in quotes because well her 1st oncologist did not follow standard of care for her type of breast cancer, she should have had chemo the 1st time around but didn't know enough to question her doc.
So anyways the cancer spread to her spine and had t5 basically removed in August. She had so much nerve pain and that recovery to be able to ambulate has been tough. So it took longer to start teatments since she lives 2 hours north of where her cancer team is.
She's got a team visit and pet scan + mri Friday to see what to do next.
But so far her body isn't handling any of the treatments. Radiation her esophagus swelled up so she couldnt eat barely breath. Chemo pills white blood cell count went down to .5 She loves Christmas but this year is really bad.
My aunt passed the day before Thanksgiving. My mom isn't just mourning her big sister. She's mourning all the rest of her 9 siblings that have passed away. She's the oldest left with 2 younger sisters. Mom is not feeling any Christmas joy.
I'm holding steady at same Ole pain is my normal which sucks. I'm feeling old and tired and tired of hurting. Gifts this year are mostly uninspiring.
Trying hard for Xmas spirit for 3 yr old grandson who kinda understands this Christmas thing this year.
So I'm holding onto how he sees christmas cause it's full of sparkly and wonder. But it's hard.
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AmyG
Ruby
Posts: 15,372 Likes: 33,957
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Post by AmyG on Dec 13, 2023 10:10:08 GMT -6
ponyhairsHugs and love to you and your family. Anything you need? Anything you want? Ask hospital if they will send over hospice people to you to see what they can offer you. They may have a hospice wing of hospital that's a bit calmer/comfortable for your family if he can't be transported home. Hospice has other resources that can help you and your daughter thru this process. Sometimes when hospice is called in things progress at a fast pace so be sure to ask questions. Do you have family or friend who can be with you so you aren't alone?
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Post by angelashly on Dec 13, 2023 10:19:37 GMT -6
((Hugs)) AmyG I hope your sister gets some relief
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tookie
Sapphire
Posts: 4,045 Likes: 25,661
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Post by tookie on Dec 13, 2023 10:25:20 GMT -6
Tw one of my good friends died suddenly on Friday. She had an aneurysm in her sleep and went into a coma, and her family removed her support on Friday. I was able to be with her and I don’t think I realized how traumatic it would be to watch someone I’ve been friends with for 15 years take her last breath. I think I broke my brain and I am not doing well at all
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Post by angelashly on Dec 13, 2023 10:32:17 GMT -6
Ugh tookie I’m so sorry. Hopefully you have someone to talk to close to you.
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kayc
Sapphire
Posts: 4,467 Likes: 12,462
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Post by kayc on Dec 13, 2023 10:55:05 GMT -6
tookie I am so sorry. I was my mom’s main caregiver when she was on hospice with cancer and was there when she took her last breath. If you want to chat/vent, please message me ❤️
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zoeylucy
Amethyst
Posts: 7,162 Likes: 26,488
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Post by zoeylucy on Dec 13, 2023 11:14:53 GMT -6
tookie, so much love to you. I’m so sorry
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Post by ponyhairs on Dec 13, 2023 12:04:52 GMT -6
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Post by ponyhairs on Dec 13, 2023 12:06:03 GMT -6
ponyhairs Hugs and love to you and your family. Anything you need? Anything you want? Ask hospital if they will send over hospice people to you to see what they can offer you. They may have a hospice wing of hospital that's a bit calmer/comfortable for your family if he can't be transported home. Hospice has other resources that can help you and your daughter thru this process. Sometimes when hospice is called in things progress at a fast pace so be sure to ask questions. Do you have family or friend who can be with you so you aren't alone? My IL's are here and my parents arrived last night so we have lots of family. All of his friends have been coming and visiting and that has been amazing for him.
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Post by YakkityYak on Dec 13, 2023 12:09:45 GMT -6
ponyhairs I don't have the best words but I'm sorry for what you and your family are going through. I'm an advocate for being at home vs the hospital. As great as nurses and docs are, nothing is like being at home where you're comfortable.
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Post by ponyhairs on Dec 13, 2023 12:35:36 GMT -6
AmyG Lyrica has done wonders for my H's nerve pain if she's not tried that to get relief.
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jaidit
Ruby
Posts: 18,112 Likes: 299,899
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Post by jaidit on Dec 13, 2023 12:47:42 GMT -6
This time of year just exaggerates any emotion at play. I’m so sorry for those who have intensified grief, anger and sadness. It’s too much, especially right now.
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AmyG
Ruby
Posts: 15,372 Likes: 33,957
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Post by AmyG on Dec 13, 2023 13:03:44 GMT -6
AmyG Lyrica has done wonders for my H's nerve pain if she's not tried that to get relief. Thanks, she's already on a high dose of Lyrica. They've experimented with a cocktail of drugs and it's getting some better.
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AmyG
Ruby
Posts: 15,372 Likes: 33,957
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Post by AmyG on Dec 13, 2023 13:05:43 GMT -6
tookie, Your brain isn't broken. You are normal. just working to understand the whole process of death and being right there in the middle of it is so different than just hearing the news, even if you are just outside of the room when it happens is different. There are some hospice grief resources out there if you google your area.
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Post by ponyhairs on Dec 13, 2023 13:05:52 GMT -6
AmyG Lyrica has done wonders for my H's nerve pain if she's not tried that to get relief. Thanks, she's already on a high dose of Lyrica. They've experimented with a cocktail of drugs and it's getting some better. My H ended up on Methadone last year and that was really the only thing that has managed his pain. He was doing Fentanyl patches but those weren't super effective, and you have to change them every 3 days and it's a bit of a hassle.
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AmyG
Ruby
Posts: 15,372 Likes: 33,957
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Post by AmyG on Dec 13, 2023 13:09:12 GMT -6
Thanks, she's already on a high dose of Lyrica. They've experimented with a cocktail of drugs and it's getting some better. My H ended up on Methadone last year and that was really the only thing that has managed his pain. He was doing Fentanyl patches but those weren't super effective, and you have to change them every 3 days and it's a bit of a hassle. yeah she has a dealio with the fentanyl going on.
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gimmeaQ
Opal
Posts: 7,738 Likes: 34,881
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Post by gimmeaQ on Dec 13, 2023 13:11:29 GMT -6
ponyhairs I don't have the best words but I'm sorry for what you and your family are going through. I'm an advocate for being at home vs the hospital. As great as nurses and docs are, nothing is like being at home where you're comfortable. Kindly, everyone is going to dk what is best for them. Don’t advocate anything in this situation.
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Post by YakkityYak on Dec 13, 2023 13:20:27 GMT -6
ponyhairs I don't have the best words but I'm sorry for what you and your family are going through. I'm an advocate for being at home vs the hospital. As great as nurses and docs are, nothing is like being at home where you're comfortable. Kindly, everyone is going to dk what is best for them. Don’t advocate anything in this situation. Of course they will, just providing kind words like everyone else in the thread. Have a good day
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piratecat
Diamond
Posts: 36,024 Likes: 143,872
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Post by piratecat on Dec 13, 2023 13:23:41 GMT -6
I am so sorry for everyone going through losses and so much fucking cancer. It’s been almost 4 years since my husband was diagnosed with brain cancer and he’s been doing really well but I always worry about it coming back. ponyhairs I am so sorry. I’m glad you have family and friends there to support you and your husband through this. ❤️❤️❤️
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Post by ponyhairs on Dec 13, 2023 13:36:03 GMT -6
I am so sorry for everyone going through losses and so much fucking cancer. It’s been almost 4 years since my husband was diagnosed with brain cancer and he’s been doing really well but I always worry about it coming back. ponyhairs I am so sorry. I’m glad you have family and friends there to support you and your husband through this. ❤️❤️❤️ It’s such a giant mind-fuck because once you have had it, the worry never leaves your mind. Every ache and pain and weird thing your mind immediately jumps to cancer. I think I can confidently say that there has not been a day I’ve not thought about cancer since his first diagnosis in 2015.
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AmyG
Ruby
Posts: 15,372 Likes: 33,957
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Post by AmyG on Dec 13, 2023 13:38:05 GMT -6
love tits = hugs for all those needing kind words and those getting them both
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Bookshelves
Emerald
Generally at a 2
Posts: 11,557 Likes: 104,407
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Post by Bookshelves on Dec 13, 2023 13:59:21 GMT -6
icedcoffee, I had a similar experience 9 years ago with my grandma on hospice with cancer and was able to be with her at the end. Good hospice workers are so incredibly valuable and special. I am so sorry for your loss.
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Post by microworm on Dec 13, 2023 14:01:34 GMT -6
I am so sorry for all of the losses and health problems, especially the fucking cancer. Hugs to all.
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Bookshelves
Emerald
Generally at a 2
Posts: 11,557 Likes: 104,407
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Post by Bookshelves on Dec 13, 2023 14:13:44 GMT -6
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Post by microworm on Dec 13, 2023 14:14:42 GMT -6
My Debbie Downer anecdote seems to pale in comparison to everyone else but I'll share.
The week before Thanksgiving, myself and most my team was let know that we are being let go next year. Our company is spinning off our division into a new company and we all were pretty excited for this new beginning and opportunity. We were all doing so much work to prepare for the spin off. However, leadership decided they want to consolidate the new company's R&D into 3 sites, and in doing so, they are closing R&D operations at 3 global sites, including mine. It was an absolute shock to everyone. I have been with the company 12 years and have a great team and management, lots of flexibility, and I'm 15 min away from my office. I really thought I'd be a lifer at this company. I have gone through the stages of grief and am feeling better now. It's just a job and I know I'll be fine.
The other thing is that my end date is almost a year away, Nov 2024. I'll have to work on hiring my team's replacements, transferring my work, and building up a lab at the site in MN to replace our local one. Being in the office is uncomfortable. I feel like people are pitying me. I have been offered a good severance package if I stay but if my mental health suffers, I may not make it.
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Post by ponyhairs on Dec 13, 2023 14:23:49 GMT -6
microworm, job loss is a huge deal and I'm sorry you are dealing with it.
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AmyG
Ruby
Posts: 15,372 Likes: 33,957
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Post by AmyG on Dec 13, 2023 14:48:33 GMT -6
microworm, Dhs company was bought out by a bigger company, everybody was supposed to stay on, that was the story since the rumor of buy out startd circulating. Then a couple months out everybody was going to be let go with pretty good severance packages. Then a small team was kept on for transitioning everything, dh was one of them. Then the small team was also let go 3 months in because they couldn't figure out how to utilize them. The whole time I don't think anybody did any actual good work.
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