sammysam
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Post by sammysam on Dec 6, 2017 19:27:41 GMT -6
The Trying to Conceive After a Loss thread is posted once a week (generally on Tuesday) for those of us who have unfortunately experienced a loss. No matter what type of loss you've experienced, from miscarriage to stillbirth to the loss of a child, it is heartbreaking. This thread is to help us commiserate, get support, and to try to navigate trying to conceive, after a loss, every week.
Out of respect to all the ladies here, please add a trigger warning if you decide to talk about any living children and please hide your signature if it contains pictures or tickers of babies or children. We also kindly ask for grads to refrain from commenting in this thread.
If you get a BFP, kindly either spoiler alert it or do not post it here at all.
**If this is your first check-in, and you would like to provide a gtky loss history intro go for it. If not, no worries!**
How are you doing?
Status (TTA, TTC, Benched):
Diagnosis (if applicable):
Updates/questions:
Debbie downer (a place to vent ) :
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Post by notelsie on Dec 6, 2017 22:29:31 GMT -6
How are you doing? Hanging in there.
Status (TTA, TTC, Benched): Benched while dieting.. hoping to start TTC in a few months 
Diagnosis (if applicable):IR PCOS Updates/questions: We started doing the keto diet about 5 weeks ago, and I've lost 16lbs.. just 39 more to go before I hit my goal. I'm happy I'm making progress, but I'm so ready to ttc again. OH, and after 85 days I'm finally on cd2! Debbie downer (a place to vent ) : We are coming up on some pretty hard loss milestones this month. I'm trying to look forward to Christmas, but I miss my babies so much. How are y'all doing? <3
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Post by mirabelle on Dec 6, 2017 23:16:31 GMT -6
notelsie your keto results are music to my ears, how strictly are you following that way of eating? And congrats on the weight loss, that's a great accomplishment! Status (TTA, TTC, Benched): TTC Diagnosis (if applicable): PCOS Updates/questions: currently on metformin and I double my dosage tomorrow. I have a love hate relationship w/this medication. Also eating a low carb/keto "lazy" diet. My clothes are fitting better, my skin is clearing up, hope I can stick to it. I'm also biking 20+ miles a day to help ward off depression and help me sort through my thoughts while doing something that I hope helps me achieve results. Debbie downer (a place to vent ) : Each day is still tough and even if we ever do get pregnant again I keep thinking in my mind I don't want any other baby I wanted THAT baby that I lost. I also just want the holidays to be done, it feels weird to be trying to celebrate the season after what we just went through. Everyone is just moving on and I'm still raw.
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cara
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Post by cara on Dec 7, 2017 9:23:24 GMT -6
How are you doing? Feeling a bit obsessed but have really tried to do everything I can naturally this month since I wasn't able to get into my OB until later this month.
Status (TTA, TTC, Benched): TTC
Diagnosis (if applicable): Unexplained Infertility
Updates/questions: TW**********
I think I had another CP last month. That would be two in a row. I went in for a blood test after receiving a faint positive and it came back as negative as negative can be. It was the same scenario the month before. They gave me an ultrasound and she said my lining was more thin than they like to see (6mm). That could explain my recurrent CP's. I also had one last March. I've been doing what I can naturally to try and thicken it this cycle. I've been following a keto diet for about 4 months now and am also taking a million different vitamins and drinking teas. I'm using castor oil packs and fertility massage. I made an appointment for acupuncture next week. It feels OTT but I'm trying anything and everything. I have a sinking feeling none of it will work.
Debbie downer (a place to vent ) : I'm in my 2ww and not feeling optimistic even though I'm doing so much. I've been researching and researching and feel like things that other people swear by won't work for me. I'm very much a negative nelly at this point.
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sammysam
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Posts: 2,707 Likes: 4,229
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Post by sammysam on Dec 7, 2017 15:56:11 GMT -6
How are you doing? OK.
Status (TTA, TTC, Benched): TTC
Diagnosis (if applicable): NA
Updates/questions: Almost time to start EOD. Cycle 2. Blah.
Debbie downer (a place to vent ) : I'm just not into it at all. I want to be pregnant but without any of the process if that makes sense...just pick back up where we left off. There should be some sort of cosmic justice that at least should let us all get pregnant immediately once we're ready. Not sure I can take trying for 8 more cycles like last time.
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Radley
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Post by Radley on Dec 8, 2017 10:38:37 GMT -6
How are you doing? Ugh feeling depressed.
Status (TTA, TTC, Benched): Benched
Diagnosis (if applicable): PID related fertility issues, swollen spleen, liver disease.
Updates/questions: down 8lbs but have plateaued again. I know it’s because I have stopped dieting and exercise. And I’ve stopped because I’m feeling down. And of course not dieting and exercising is only making me feel worse. It’s a horrible cycle.
Debbie downer (a place to vent ) : I feel like I’m so useless at self discipline that when my scans come up in March, I will have made no progress and I’m furious with myself.
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Radley
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Post by Radley on Dec 8, 2017 10:46:31 GMT -6
notelsie congrats on the weight loss! I’m so sorry you are benched for it though. It sucks. And I’m so sorry about your loss milestones. So many *hugs*. mirabelle I’m so sorry! I know those feelings of not wanting “a” baby but wanting “my” lost baby. It really really sucks and I’m so sorry. cara I’m so sorry. I hope something works and I’m so sorry you are feeling low. *hugs* sammysam I hated the “trying” part of TTC. I hated charting and EOD and TWW and trying not to test early and then starting all over again. I completely get that.
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Post by charliefox on Dec 8, 2017 15:33:46 GMT -6
Crap, I guess I go there again. History in sig. How are you doing? Meh, okay. Trying to get through the holidays and keep my spirits up but I know I'm mostly avoiding dealing with my emotions and at some point they'll come crashing down. Status (TTA, TTC, Benched): TTC Diagnosis (if applicable): Unexplained Secondary IF, and should have the genetics results from my loss in a week or two. Updates/questions: My d&c was last Friday but the doc said we were free to TTC right away if we wanted. My nausea only just went away like 24 hrs ago so I'm a little worried my HCG isn't coming down very quickly. At my appointment I asked about testing it and they said they don't normally do that after a d&c. I'm thinking I might start peeing on things in hopes that I can see a negative soon, then back to temping etc. Any insights or experiences in the realm are appreciated. Debbie downer (a place to vent): My first loss was a few days after my birthday, and now this loss has put a damper on the holidays. I'm just angry mostly. notelsie, congrats on the weight loss! Hugs, mirabelle, the holidays are rough. I do want to congratulate you on the biking since it sounds like it's doing a lot for your beyond the physical. I need to try to get out for some exercise, that might help me as well. |
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sammysam
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Post by sammysam on Dec 9, 2017 10:26:59 GMT -6
charliefox I was still throwing up for a few days after my d&c. It took a few weeks for the nausea to subside completely (in my case that might have partly been due to my blood loss and low hemoglobin). We waited one cycle after the loss before we started trying again. If you had a d&c and everything is clear then your levels will go back to normal fairly quickly...I was nauseous for probably 3 to 4 weeks after mine. Don't know of that helps...
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akwild
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Post by akwild on Dec 9, 2017 11:30:06 GMT -6
charliefox my OB told me to start taking tests at my 2 week check up. If they were still positive 2 weeks after the check up so 4 weeks post d&c to call. (Of course mine was because why not) so I had 2 more weeks of blood tests to watch the numbers fall. The nurse said my body just likes to hang on to the hcg. So 6 weeks. Then a weekish later i for my first cycle back.
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akwild
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Post by akwild on Dec 9, 2017 11:35:29 GMT -6
How are you doing? Denial maybe? I keep thinking about March..... I keep thinking I should be pregnant but I’m not sad.... I just want to be pregnant but not actively trying.... I just want it to happen
Status (TTA, TTC, Benched): Ttc
Diagnosis (if applicable):
Updates/questions:
We should start EOD today. Let’s see if I can get anything started, I’m just not in the mood.
Debbie downer (a place to vent ) : I want to pregnant again before my due date.... I don’t know why but it’s a super strong feeling I’m having.
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Post by charliefox on Dec 9, 2017 11:51:15 GMT -6
akwild, the way you described your feelings is very much how I feel. And I totally get wanting to be pregnant before your due date. So many creepy hugs. Also, thanks for sharing your experience, and so sorry it took so long for your levels to go back down - how frustrating. After my first loss my levels when down very quickly and I had a pretty regular cycle but it was technically a MMC so it took a while for my body to catch on, I just didn't know yet. I guess I'll see what happens this time. sammysam, thanks for sharing your experience. Luckily, my nausea only lasted about 5-6 days after my d&c which I hope means good things?
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Post by sunshiney on Dec 12, 2017 12:07:26 GMT -6
notelsie Congratulations on your weight loss! mirabelle Wow I am so impressed with your biking. I'm glad the metformin is doing some good for you, I hope the SEs dissipate. cara I'm so sorry, I can't imagine how concerned you must feel. Might it be worth a meeting with the RE to look at lining concerns? It's so frustrating, sometimes we can do literally "everything" right and it's no guarantee.  I really hope you have success soon! sammysam I'm sorry, that is a very familiar feeling...it feels so interminable, like been here before, don't want to be. I hope it ends up being quick this time around!
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Post by sunshiney on Dec 12, 2017 13:42:13 GMT -6
Radley I'm so sorry, depression is such a kick in the teeth the way it compounds on itself. Saying a prayer that you'll be able to have hope and feel like you can still make a difference before your next scans! charliefox I'm so sorry for your loss, and the frustrating timing around the holidays. I'd say listen to your own instincts, if you are more comfortable making sure your HPTs go negative, that sounds like a very smart and reassuring thing to do! akwild I totally understand wanting to get PG before your due date, it would be such a blessing to have that hope again before that date arrives. I think we help ourselves get through the waiting game of TTC by thinking ahead that way, of course then if we pass that date it is extra hard. But I think it is totally normal.
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Radley
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Post by Radley on Dec 14, 2017 23:27:38 GMT -6
charliefox I’m so so sorry you are here and so sorry for your loss. Many hugs and thoughts. sunshiney thank you. I’ve managed so come out of my slump a bit. It definitely a ongoing struggle and I appreciate all T&P’s!
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Post by notelsie on Dec 17, 2017 20:58:08 GMT -6
notelsie your keto results are music to my ears, how strictly are you following that way of eating? And congrats on the weight loss, that's a great accomplishment! Hey! I'm so sorry I'm late to seeing this. December is a hard month for us so I haven't been online much. I am actually on a plan with ideal protein so it's a little more restrictive than doing a normal keto diet. I'm following it and seeing great results! I'm looking forward to finishing this program so I can continue keto with more things to eat. haha Thank you! How is keto going for you? |
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Post by notelsie on Dec 17, 2017 21:01:50 GMT -6
I know the holidays can be so hard.. we just hit our anniversary for our first loss on Saturday, and we are coming up on our second loss due date.
I know y'all updated, but it's been a little while. How are y'all doing now that it's getting closer to Christmas? I know I can't be the only one seeing announcements everywhere.
If you need to talk I'm here. I'll check back as often as possible.
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Radley
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Post by Radley on Dec 17, 2017 23:47:05 GMT -6
notelsie **TW OPP** I feel like babies are everywhere. My sis is pregnant, her friend just had a baby, my friend just had her rainbow baby (and I’m thrilled for her, it must be amazing, but it sucks because I’m nowhere close to having a rainbow). It suuuucks. I keep wishing I had a two month old like I should. This should be my baby’s first Christmas. It really bothering me lately.[\spoiler]
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Post by mirabelle on Dec 18, 2017 12:24:28 GMT -6
notelsie I’m averaging anywhere between 2-3lbs a week so it’s definitely been a welcomed improvement. Is anyone willing to share vitamins they take, are most of you just using prenatals is there anything else? I thought about adding an iron supplement, but took one this weekend and got so sick. My doctor has not recommended anything specific other than a prenatal. **possible Tw** Hugs to all around this season, I can relate to the emotional toll it takes. I can’t event really go to church right now because it is so hard to see small children...my DH is trying to be sensitive, but I can tell he thinks I’m a bit ridiculous. I’ve been once since my loss and that was enough for me, I was a mess during and after.
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Post by sunshiney on Dec 19, 2017 7:10:50 GMT -6
mirabelle I'm so sorry, I have had the same feeling about church during sensitive times...it tends to be a very family-oriented experience (and by family, I mean this assumption that having a family means having kids...) which can feel lonely and frustrating for sure. Saying a prayer for your peace! Vitamins - I take a prenatal, plus B12 and D. notelsie I'm so sorry you have to experience your loss anniversaries during this season, saying a prayer for you. Radley I'm sorry. It doesn't matter that we know intellectually OPPs have no bearing on our own chances, they still can feel like a kick in the teeth.
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Post by notelsie on Dec 20, 2017 23:45:06 GMT -6
notelsie **TW OPP** I feel like babies are everywhere. My sis is pregnant, her friend just had a baby, my friend just had her rainbow baby (and I’m thrilled for her, it must be amazing, but it sucks because I’m nowhere close to having a rainbow). It suuuucks. I keep wishing I had a two month old like I should. This should be my baby’s first Christmas. It really bothering me lately.[\spoiler] Sorry I'm just seeing this now. It's been a busy couple of days. I'm so sorry, I completely understand the feeling. I keep thinking of the what could have beens and it breaks my heart. There is just so much of it everywhere that you can't really give your mind a break. So many hugs <3 |
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Post by notelsie on Dec 20, 2017 23:48:00 GMT -6
notelsie I’m averaging anywhere between 2-3lbs a week so it’s definitely been a welcomed improvement. Is anyone willing to share vitamins they take, are most of you just using prenatals is there anything else? I thought about adding an iron supplement, but took one this weekend and got so sick. My doctor has not recommended anything specific other than a prenatal. **possible Tw** Hugs to all around this season, I can relate to the emotional toll it takes. I can’t event really go to church right now because it is so hard to see small children...my DH is trying to be sensitive, but I can tell he thinks I’m a bit ridiculous. I’ve been once since my loss and that was enough for me, I was a mess during and after. That's amazing! Congratulations! It sounds like things are going consistently and steadily  I'm taking prenatals along with potassium, calcium/magnesium , and omegas. Those last few are required for my diet. I did start vitamin b today also to try to help with my energy levels. Church is hard, malls are hard.. it's ok for places to be hard during this season. Especially with the holidays. It eases with time, but it feels so horrible in the beginning. I'm sorry <3 |
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Post by notelsie on Dec 20, 2017 23:49:02 GMT -6
sunshiney, thank you. Tomorrow is the last milestone this season, and then our last one is at the end of May. I'm just trying to keep pushing through.
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I really hope you have success soon!