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Post by Deleted on Dec 3, 2017 7:48:30 GMT -6
I thought this was a beautiful essay that makes me both really excited and terrified for DD to be a teenager. I’ve been thinking about this a lot in the last few weeks, how to raise a daughter to be bold and true to herself while also keeping her safe. I loved how she had her daughter annotate it. story.californiasunday.com/raising-a-teenage-daughter |
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Post by Uncaripswife on Dec 3, 2017 8:18:46 GMT -6
I think about this, too. I want to teach her to be brave and strong and savvy and courageous. I often feel like I haven't mastered these for myself!
I also wonder if my attempts to mould DD are really just stiffling her. She's generally compliant. Am I setting her up to be taken advantage of my a 16 year old boy one day?
She's a perfectionist; it's just how she's made; even though I tell her st least once a day that it's ok to make mistakes. How does she learn to let go of that misery?
How do I fend off an eating disorder? My own relationship with food is terrible; how do I ensure her teenage years aren't spent worrying about her weight or dress size?
How do I ensure she doesn't feel about me the way I felt about my mother?
Sorry for the word vomit. This essay gave me all the feels.
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peaseblossom55
Platinum
Hope. It is the only thing stronger than fear.
Posts: 1,461 Likes: 3,090 
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Post by peaseblossom55 on Dec 3, 2017 12:36:45 GMT -6
I loved this, thank you!
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Post by Deleted on Dec 3, 2017 14:14:08 GMT -6
I think about this, too. I want to teach her to be brave and strong and savvy and courageous. I often feel like I haven't mastered these for myself! I also wonder if my attempts to mould DD are really just stiffling her. She's generally compliant. Am I setting her up to be taken advantage of my a 16 year old boy one day? She's a perfectionist; it's just how she's made; even though I tell her st least once a day that it's ok to make mistakes. How does she learn to let go of that misery? How do I fend off an eating disorder? My own relationship with food is terrible; how do I ensure her teenage years aren't spent worrying about her weight or dress size? How do I ensure she doesn't feel about me the way I felt about my mother? Sorry for the word vomit. This essay gave me all the feels. Same on the balance between being a good listener and just blindly following directions. DD can also be very hard on herself - at age 5 - and I don’t know how to combat that yet. I’ve told her she needs to be kind to herself in addition to other people but it doesn’t seem to be sinking in yet. |
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Post by sherminator on Dec 4, 2017 2:27:04 GMT -6
one way is TO demonstrate times you've made mistakes, and lessons learned. the perfect mom schtick is the perfect set up for a child who cant recover from mistakes. I also stress happy accidents. the time you failed something great and unexpected came from it. I bring up Thomas Edison- the 100 try the lightbulb was made- failure is part of the process. etc. Building resilience in kids is our toughest job
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Post by crimsonandclover on Dec 4, 2017 3:17:07 GMT -6
Did you also read this article that was linked under that one? story.californiasunday.com/orenstein-consentIt makes me wish I were raising boys so I could talk to them about it. I've got 3 young girls and hope to start talking to them about sex and consent relatively early. |
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