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Post by Deleted on Nov 28, 2017 18:55:44 GMT -6
Random tip, but don't buy generic brand Dermaplast. DH picked some up for me after DD1 was born and it was an antiseptic as well as analgesic - my vagina burned for days 😂😂
Laboring at home is great but don't wait TOO long to go in if you are wanting an epidural - I got mine placed as I got to 10 cm with DD2 and it didn't really kick in in time.
Stitches are not as terrifying as they seem.
Be aware of the hospital cafeteria hours and how to order food, even if you can't eat while in labor. DD1 was born at 6:00 pm and by the time I got stitched up everything was closed and I couldn't eat until breakfast. I ended up basically going 72 hours without food and it sucked. DD2 was born at 12:12 pm and I think at 12:15 I was basically like "excuse me but I need to order some lunch" 😂
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dragonflyinn
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Post by dragonflyinn on Nov 28, 2017 19:30:35 GMT -6
Random tip, but don't buy generic brand Dermaplast. DH picked some up for me after DD1 was born and it was an antiseptic as well as analgesic - my vagina burned for days 😂😂 Laboring at home is great but don't wait TOO long to go in if you are wanting an epidural - I got mine placed as I got to 10 cm with DD2 and it didn't really kick in in time. Stitches are not as terrifying as they seem. Be aware of the hospital cafeteria hours and how to order food, even if you can't eat while in labor. DD1 was born at 6:00 pm and by the time I got stitched up everything was closed and I couldn't eat until breakfast. I ended up basically going 72 hours without food and it sucked. DD2 was born at 12:12 pm and I think at 12:15 I was basically like "excuse me but I need to order some lunch" 😂 That’s such a bummer about the food! DD was born at 8:37pm & by the time I was stitched up it was sometime after 9pm. They didn’t give me full meals until the next morning but brought me tons of snacks.
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bassa
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Post by bassa on Nov 28, 2017 20:24:27 GMT -6
I didn't have a clear "moment of overwhelming love", but I think that's ok. They put her on my chest and it just felt right, like, yes this is the baby I've already loved for the past nine months. Hello there.
I was able to feel them stitching me up, even though I had an epidural. That hurt. I told them I could feel it, and they didn't really seem to care. (I was in a really shitty hospital, if I haven't mentioned before.) But regardless, the stitches aren't anything to be worried about. Labor hurts waaaaaaaay worse.
For your hospital bag, important things are a loose change of clothes and nursing bras/tops, phone charger, and whatever makeup/toiletries/cosmetics you usually use. I had a very lonely, depressing 5-day hospital stay, and when I eventually realized that I could take a shower and look like myself again it made a big difference.
Not a tip, but a fun anecdote: when I was pushing, there was a team of who knows how many people (the doctor, a bunch of nurses, it felt like a crowd) who literally shouted and cheered during every push "You're doing it! Keep going, you got it! You're doing great, almost there! Almost there!" I only had to push for 10 minutes, so I don't know if they would have kept it up if I was pushing for hours, but I thought it was funny and very encouraging.
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Post by helloerrbody on Nov 28, 2017 20:37:49 GMT -6
Oh and be prepared for the biggest hormone dump of your life. The emotions for the few days after delivery are very very strong. THIS! I wish I had been warned. I cried for 2 weeks straight, especially in the evenings. I was happy yet I couldn't stop crying. It was pure hormones. Your placenta makes more estrogen in the 3rd trimester PER DAY than your body makes in your non-pregnant lifetime combined. And in pregnancy it's a slow estrogen rise. Then you deliver your placenta and BAM back to zero. Also, I got really bad night sweats which is common postpartum as well as your body sheds the extra fluid as well as hormone shifts. I literally had to sleep on beach towels. I would wake DRENCHED, have to completely change clothes and change the towel. Fun times.
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ajetter
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Post by ajetter on Nov 28, 2017 20:40:27 GMT -6
No tearing, no hemorrhoids, and an epi here. So I’m not much help. My recoveries were always super easy. The worst was my ankles and feet being super swollen after DD2 from them pushing so many fluids because they suspected her cord was compressed or something. Seriously it felt like I was walking around with water balloons inside my feet.
I was also induced every time, and not allowed out of the bed for the most part (pre-epi). Lame. Just the latter, I didn’t mind being induced. Going into labor on my own is kind of terrifying at this point. Lol.
I appreciated having my own pillow, and brought my own toiletries and make up. Felt good to take a shower, put on my own clothes, etc.
As everyone said, hormones are freaking insane. I felt like a nut job.
I did not have an immediate connection with DD1. I assumed I would, but to be honest my epidural was so good that I had no clue when she was out. They handed her to me and I was like uh, what the hell am I supposed to do with this?!? With DD2 and 3 there was more of that love at first sight feeling, because I knew what we were getting into. But also the first few days with them felt strange too. I think because I KNEW DD1 at that point. She was a person with a personality and opinions and ideas, and here was this baby that I knew nothing about. But it’s all good. Even if you don’t have that immediate connection it means nothing about how much you love your child. They just put you through a rough nine months and then there is labor and delivery and whew! You might need a minute. 😉 Don’t stress. Everything will work out.
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Post by sweetsurprise on Nov 28, 2017 21:44:37 GMT -6
I had a C-section after being induced 10 days post- due date and laboring for 3 days. I wish I had been more open to the C-section but I wanted so badly to have a 'normal' vaginal delivery that I kept trying until the doctor forced me to get a CS. Turned out DS had a large head - 99th percentile. And I'm barely 5'2 so it just wasn't meant to be.
Recovery was not easy at the time but looking back it was only a handful of bad days. Simply walking for the first week was hard. I didn't have a lot of pain because I stayed on top of my pain meds.
I totally agree about the crazy hormones. For 2 weeks I cried a lot even though I wasn't 'sad.' It was like PMS times a million. Luckily it went away quickly.
Breast feeding was another major source of stress and I eventually decided to exclusively pump.
My major advice is try to be flexible. You won't be able to control a lot of what happens. Be prepared to throw plans out the window and realize there's not one right way to do things.
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Post by jessijean on Nov 28, 2017 23:49:53 GMT -6
sweetsurprise do you plan on EPing again? My mindset has already gone there since it was just my norm for DS. My hospital is "baby friendly" so they REALLY push the breastfeeding and it'll be frowned on for me to get out my pump right away but if he struggles at all with latch that thing is coming out.
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Post by benandjerrys on Nov 29, 2017 5:30:15 GMT -6
Buy this: Earth Mama Mama Bottom Balm 60 Milliliter www.amazon.com/dp/B000EIC2UY/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_apa_hBPhAb8GPTSZ4It saved me. It was the only thing that brought true relief. So much better than the dermoblast or anything else that's been mentioned so far. I also had the mam bottom spray but didn't like that as much. I did like their nipple butter. I asked for no episiotomy ND my midwife respected that but I tore quite a bit and she told me after it probably wouldn't have been as bad with an episiotomy. But episiotomies freak me out so I will be asking to tear naturally again. I did not feel the tear. The stitches hurt but it's not a big deal. I would compare it to accupuncture- it hurts a bit like a pinch but it's nothing compared to what you just went through. Plus hopefully you have your kid on your chest so you can focus on that. Agree with pp to be flexible. I went in really, really wanting a natural birth and ended up with pitocin and an epidural. And I needed the epidural because I hadn't slept in 27 hours and was only 3 can dialated. The epidural let me sleep and let my body relax and I woke up 2 hours later at 7 cm. Without it I wouldn't have slept and without sleep I think I would have ended up with a c section. I pushed for 5 hours and I just couldn't have done that without the sleep. So give yourself grace. I was so so so focused on the natural birth but there is so much more to parenting than childbirth. This time I'm open to the epidural but am doing lots of yoga, chiropractic and accupuncture in the hopes of better preparing my body for an easy birth that doesn't require the epidural. I loved nursing DD and we nursed for more than 2 years. But the first 6 weeks were really hard. Set all goals and evaluate after reaching them. The first 6 weeks are the hardest. Ime the best time is 8 mos+, when they interact a lot and it's real bonding time and they are eating real food so it's not a ton of pressure that you are supplying their entire diet. I hated the stiz bath. I liked the always pads for pp delivery. I showered and got into regular clothes the next day and that made me feel human again. I stressed a lot over what to pack for the hospital but DD was 2 weeks early and everything was packed except the baby hairbrush. I literally worried that I didn't have one packed. She's now 2.5, she was completely bald until she was past 2, and she is finally getting her first hairbrush in her stocking this Xmas. So relax!
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Post by sweetsurprise on Nov 29, 2017 6:13:32 GMT -6
jessijean I'm going to give BFing a good try again. I'm hoping this baby will latch. But regardless I plan to do either a combo of BFing and Puming or EPing. EPing was the norm for me too and it had some perks - others could help with feedings, I could see how much the baby was drinking, I had a little me time to pump in peace. I'm going into this with an open mind. If I had my wish I would do a combo.
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snowyowl
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Post by snowyowl on Nov 29, 2017 6:17:19 GMT -6
Tearing: Peri bottle Large pads Dermoplast Tucks Pads - these are great to put on your pad and add a little bit of cool, soothing sensation. My mom’s BFF is a labor and delivery nurse and she recommended getting these and keeping them in the fridge. They are small disks of fabric soaked in witch hazel. After each bathroom visit you can take a few and lay them on your pad “like salami on a sandwich” as she put it.
I had an epidural and it was great. I went from worst pain ever to nothing for almost 10 hours. I am obviously not telling anyone what to do, and epidurals don’t work for everyone. But I got to sleep a lot and my labor and delivery was pretty low on pain.
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dragonflyinn
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Post by dragonflyinn on Nov 29, 2017 6:30:53 GMT -6
Tearing: Peri bottle Large pads Dermoplast Tucks Pads - these are great to put on your pad and add a little bit of cool, soothing sensation. My mom’s BFF is a labor and delivery nurse and she recommended getting these and keeping them in the fridge. They are small disks of fabric soaked in witch hazel. After each bathroom visit you can take a few and lay them on your pad “like salami on a sandwich” as she put it. I had an epidural and it was great. I went from worst pain ever to nothing for almost 10 hours. I am obviously not telling anyone what to do, and epidurals don’t work for everyone. But I got to sleep a lot and my labor and delivery was pretty low on pain. I loved my epidural haha. My plan was to see how long I could go without & that didn’t last long. Maybe if DDs labor was slower & contractions intensified more gradually I could have handled it but that’s not what happened lol. I got it about 4 hours after I knew I was in labor & was 5cm at that point...I was 10cm about 3 hours after that so it definitely helped me to relax & progress! There was a block on my left side near my hip though so I felt soreness there with every contraction. It helped with pushing though bc I could tell when contractions were coming rather than just relying on the nurse watching the monitor haha.
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ajetter
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Post by ajetter on Nov 29, 2017 6:39:18 GMT -6
Something to mention, trend seems to be that getting to 4 or 5cm is the longest part, and then after that labor progresses more quickly. Not always the case but often. Also in my humble opinion, contractions before they broke my water weren’t that big of a deal. After they broke my water was when I usually was all F this give me the damn epidural. Per the usual everyone’s experience is different, but that is pretty much how it always went down for me.
With DD3 I got the epidural between 4 and 5cm, after they broke my water and contractions got intense. I never really felt a lot of relief. The bulk of the pain was gone but I was still too uncomfortable to really rest. And she was born an hour after it was placed. So I still always wonder if maybe I could have made it med free. But who knows.
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snowyowl
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Post by snowyowl on Nov 29, 2017 7:04:21 GMT -6
That first overwhelming feeling of love didn’t really happen for me, as far as I remember. I think I was physically and mentally tired and my reaction was pretty much “ok, cool, hey”. I never felt angsty or worried about it, there was just so much else to think about it never occurred to me to wonder if I loved him or not. He was jaundiced and my main memories of those first few days was worrying about breastfeeding, sleep, and whether he’d have to go back into the hospital for light box treatment. At some point my brain must have switched back on but I don’t remember any big “moment”.
And someone mentioned this, but omg take the stool softeners FOREVER. That is a slight exaggeration... but even if you think it’s fine and you skipped the whole hemorrhoid thing, do not stop taking them because they may be there but not bad yet. Once those buggers get irritated and swollen it takes ages to heal and it’s just one more discomfort and stress to deal with. Take the colace/miralax for a month.
And stitches hurt. It sucks because you are tired and stressed and you just want to sit down without pain and it feels like it will never get better. But excepting complications, within about two weeks you’ll wake up one day and find you can move around fairly normally again. It will end!
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snowyowl
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Post by snowyowl on Nov 29, 2017 7:15:54 GMT -6
Tearing: Peri bottle Large pads Dermoplast Tucks Pads - these are great to put on your pad and add a little bit of cool, soothing sensation. My mom’s BFF is a labor and delivery nurse and she recommended getting these and keeping them in the fridge. They are small disks of fabric soaked in witch hazel. After each bathroom visit you can take a few and lay them on your pad “like salami on a sandwich” as she put it. I had an epidural and it was great. I went from worst pain ever to nothing for almost 10 hours. I am obviously not telling anyone what to do, and epidurals don’t work for everyone. But I got to sleep a lot and my labor and delivery was pretty low on pain. I loved my epidural haha. My plan was to see how long I could go without & that didn’t last long. Maybe if DDs labor was slower & contractions intensified more gradually I could have handled it but that’s not what happened lol. I got it about 4 hours after I knew I was in labor & was 5cm at that point...I was 10cm about 3 hours after that so it definitely helped me to relax & progress! There was a block on my left side near my hip though so I felt soreness there with every contraction. It helped with pushing though bc I could tell when contractions were coming rather than just relying on the nurse watching the monitor haha. Lol, I was totally going to wait awhile because the nurse who ran the childbirth classes was saying that it’s nice to be able to walk around, go to the bathroom, etc... Nope. I went straight to the epidural. Maybe this was unusual, but everytime I tried to walk anywhere it would trigger super painful contractions. Numb and trapped in a bed sounded like a great idea by the time I got to the hospital.
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Post by rebeccabunch on Nov 29, 2017 7:16:54 GMT -6
I am just going to add random things as I remember them. I had a 3rd degree episiotomy. I didn’t have an epidural at the time. I didn’t feel the stitching. I have no idea if she gave me anything to help with that. I am short so when I pushed I damaged my tailbone. That hurt for weeks after delivery. That cold spray stuff was amazing. It made my lady bits so happy. Holy shit. That’s all I’ve got.
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aprilz81
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Post by aprilz81 on Nov 29, 2017 7:22:20 GMT -6
Oh yeah, my tailbone...
I had a breech forceps delivery and I swear she broke my tailbone. I was in agony for weeks and it was a few months before it was even remotely back to normal.
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pinkcat
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Post by pinkcat on Nov 29, 2017 7:24:24 GMT -6
This thread has been soooo helpful, you guys all have great advice!
I love the tips about going in with an open mind- that's what I keep trying to tell myself whenever I get to worked up about anything.
One other random worry-did it bother you at all if the baby was laid on your chest and they were still bloody or messy? I know it's silly but I'm afraid I'll want to be like "Hmmm no can you take him back until he is cleaned up!" My mom says that in the moment I won't care at all and I hope she is right.
How did your SO handle delivery? Anything specific to prepare DH for or to expect from him?
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Post by marygracerich on Nov 29, 2017 7:28:12 GMT -6
pinkcat I had sort of a special circumstance so I didn’t have her laid on me at all but I will say that after laboring and pushing there isn’t much you care about. I was worried about people seeing me half naked and such. Lol that went out the window really quickly. I will also be the first to admit I absolutely pooped while pushing and every single dr and nurse in labor and delivery saw me naked from the waste down 🤷🏻♀️
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aprilz81
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Post by aprilz81 on Nov 29, 2017 7:38:07 GMT -6
This thread has been soooo helpful, you guys all have great advice! I love the tips about going in with an open mind- that's what I keep trying to tell myself whenever I get to worked up about anything. One other random worry-did it bother you at all if the baby was laid on your chest and they were still bloody or messy? I know it's silly but I'm afraid I'll want to be like "Hmmm no can you take him back until he is cleaned up!" My mom says that in the moment I won't care at all and I hope she is right. How did your SO handle delivery? Anything specific to prepare DH for or to expect from him? **TW for stillbirth** We decided to have Ava handed to DH and then he gave her to me. I was worried about the goop but more worried about how I would handle holding her if she didn't survive delivery due to her birth defects. She wasn't strong enough to handle delivery and neither situation bothered me other than "my baby didn't make it" and I was really surprised. **end TW** The goop wasn't that bad all things considered and they usually wipe the baby down a bit while they are laying on you.
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sarahh
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Post by sarahh on Nov 29, 2017 7:38:35 GMT -6
pinkcat I know they laid DD on my chest after they pulled her out but I honestly don't remember if she was all gross or if they had wiped her off a little. A new thing that they are doing at my hospital this time around is they are doing a clear drape along with the regular drape so once they start pulling her out they will drop the regular drape so I can see them pull her out. I'm pretty excited about this and I hope I don't regret my decision. Since I didn't see DD1 being pulled out I am curious to see what all happens but I hope I don't see to much of the surgery stuff.
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Post by rebeccabunch on Nov 29, 2017 7:38:58 GMT -6
pinkcat great thread idea! Even as a TTM I’ve enjoyed reading and learning from everyone’s tips! Most has been said so I’ll try to keep it brief but I’m bad at that. I’ve had a C and VBAC. C 1) even if you expect a V it doesn’t hurt to pack a pair of pants that arent super tight just in case. 2) sarahh said this but there’s no shame in actually taking the pain meds. If you 💯 without fine, but I needed them and had no problem stopping them 7 days after. 3) I had a rough C experience but even w that, when it’s the safest way to get your baby here you won’t care. My recovery was tough and I thought I’d never feel the same again. You totally do! 5 years later I forget I ever had one. V or just in general really 1) hospitals are gross. I always pack a cheap pair of flip flops I can throw away when I leave. 2) if you find yourself in a long pushing situation, as long as your MW or Dr says it’s safe, keep going you can do it. I’m the least physically fit person I know and I pushed for 3 hours on the dot. I’m forever grateful for my practice bc they didn’t rush me. The baby and I were being monitored and my desire to avoid another C was strong. (Just from a recovery perspective) when I see things like bassa pushing for 10 mins my brain doesn’t compute. Hopefully this time is different for me! 3) I wouldn’t worry about having the moment. Whether it’s when they put him on your chest or the next day or 6 weeks later at home it will happen. I did not hv it w DS1 bc I was overmedicated and just wanted to sleep for the rest of my life. 4) mentioned but bears repeating, there are many hormonal shifts/drops. 4-5 days after I had a flip out both times but it can be steady or come in waves. 5) I didn’t have PPD after either birth but definitely went through something after my MC that gave me a glimpse of what that feels like. I’m worried I’ll have that this time but I’ll be ready to talk to my Dr and not think I need to sort it out myself. I didn’t understand what PPD would feel like. I don’t know if what I felt was similar but it was out of my control and was different from the hormonal drops I was used to. Lol at me trying to be brief.
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sarahh
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Post by sarahh on Nov 29, 2017 7:44:53 GMT -6
rebeccabunch good that you brought up PPD. I somehow blocked that out. I had really bad PPA after DD1 was born. I kept imagining worst case scenarios of something bad happening to her and I couldn't really function normally. I let it go for a few months until it was really bad and then went to see a psychiatrist and got on some anti anxiety meds and also met with a counselor. If you aren't feeling like yourself, don't try to hide it and tell your OB because PPD/PPA is normal and doesn't make you a bad mother. I wish I had seen someone earlier because I feel like I resented DD1 the first few months and you can't get that time back. Since I know the signs this time I will be seeking help immediately if I start to see some of the signs this time around.
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dragonflyinn
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Post by dragonflyinn on Nov 29, 2017 7:58:19 GMT -6
This thread has been soooo helpful, you guys all have great advice! I love the tips about going in with an open mind- that's what I keep trying to tell myself whenever I get to worked up about anything. One other random worry-did it bother you at all if the baby was laid on your chest and they were still bloody or messy? I know it's silly but I'm afraid I'll want to be like "Hmmm no can you take him back until he is cleaned up!" My mom says that in the moment I won't care at all and I hope she is right. How did your SO handle delivery? Anything specific to prepare DH for or to expect from him? They had to clean her up right away. I had a lot of meconium in my fluid so they needed to clear her lungs ASAP & they cleaned her off while they did that. Gave her back to me all wrapped up & I got to hold her for a minute but they were still all up in our space clearing her nose & mouth before they decided to take her to the nursery. H did great with delivery, aside from almost missing it lol. He was getting coffee when I started pushing. Usually NBD but I only pushed for 30 minutes so he could have missed it haha. I think he also took it all too personally— like id give him a rude look or say something in the middle of pain & he actually let it hurt his feelings which is stupid lol I’m in labor for Pete’s sake.
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Post by easternshoregirl on Nov 29, 2017 8:07:14 GMT -6
It is kinda like running a marathon that you don't know how long it will be and exactly how it will end. I actually did that once....(ended up running 50 miles) and labor/delivery was actually so so so much harder. (for me)
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Post by rebeccabunch on Nov 29, 2017 8:36:33 GMT -6
It is kinda like running a marathon that you don't know how long it will be and exactly how it will end. I actually did that once....(ended up running 50 miles) and labor/delivery was actually so so so much harder. (for me) flippinchica that may be the best description of Labor I’ve ever read 👏🏻🏆
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Post by hiimjamie on Nov 29, 2017 8:47:58 GMT -6
peachesncream OMGGGG to the generic Dermaplast!! Yikes!! If you get the name brand also remember only get the blue one, don’t get the red.
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Post by hiimjamie on Nov 29, 2017 8:58:42 GMT -6
pinkcat again different bc c section but they wiped him down so he wasn’t really all that bloody. My wife got to do skin to skin with him with I was getting stitched up and getting my organs stuffed back in. So I got hold him after all that. It maybe took an hour? They don’t get their first bath until several hours later so there will be some goop regardless. It didn’t bother me though and I’m so so squeamish.
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Post by easternshoregirl on Nov 29, 2017 9:09:25 GMT -6
Also regarding the hormones....does your husband have any (male) friends that also have young babies? I think it was really hard for my DH to understand what was happening to me. I still don't think he does (but really? how could he?!) but after the fact, he ended up talking to a guy he knows whose wife had also had a baby recently and at least learned that what I was going through was typical.
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Post by jessijean on Nov 29, 2017 9:14:36 GMT -6
pinkcat more than likely you won't care about the goop at that point, it's just all so overwhelming and was almost surreal to me. DH said both him and the nurse had to tell me like 3 times that he was on me because I was in such a focused zone pushing.
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stephne
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Post by stephne on Nov 29, 2017 9:20:19 GMT -6
This thread has been soooo helpful, you guys all have great advice! I love the tips about going in with an open mind- that's what I keep trying to tell myself whenever I get to worked up about anything. One other random worry-did it bother you at all if the baby was laid on your chest and they were still bloody or messy? I know it's silly but I'm afraid I'll want to be like "Hmmm no can you take him back until he is cleaned up!" My mom says that in the moment I won't care at all and I hope she is right. How did your SO handle delivery? Anything specific to prepare DH for or to expect from him? I had the same thought, but they quickly wipe the baby off with a towel. They don't get it all but I remember E being more chalky than anything.
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