pinkcat
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Post by pinkcat on Nov 28, 2017 14:21:40 GMT -6
There are so many STM or TTMs on our board, so I thought a thread for any and all labor questions from FTMs would be nice! (We may have done this already several months ago- I can't remember anymore!) But now that labor is getting closer for many of us a refresher would be nice This can be for labor questions from BTDT moms as well! So, for those who have given birth before...is there anything you wish you would have known the first time? Any tips for care after birth? Anything special to pack, or not pack, in our hospital bags? My biggest fears are: - Tearing and being able to feel them stitch me up if I don't get an epidural -Healing from the tears and how to take care of them -Not having that "moment" when he is born where I am overwhelmed with love- I'm so worried I am going to feel detached from the situation.
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sarahh
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Post by sarahh on Nov 28, 2017 14:24:46 GMT -6
I can't speak to some of the things because I had a C-section with my first since she was breech but I was worried about the "moment" as well as I am not really an emotional person but when they showed her to me and she was crying I lost it so don't worry about that. The emotions of everything will definitely hit you.
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Post by sparky85 on Nov 28, 2017 14:33:54 GMT -6
I had stitches from a forceps delivery with my first. The big tip for dealing with them is to make sure to do the sitz baths, and add some Epsom salts. The stitches dissolve, but the sitz baths helps to keep the area clean and moist for the healing.
I also suggest bringing good pads to the hospital for afterwards. I'm a big fan of the always infinity brand, in the largest size you can find (I think it's 5). They pull the moisture in quickly, and they are surprisingly thin for how much they will hold.
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Post by marygracerich on Nov 28, 2017 14:37:42 GMT -6
The peri bottle is your friend! If you can’t wipe because of stitches and/or overall discomfort, the bottle is your best friend. I used it for probably a little longer than necessary because I loved it so much.
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Post by tiffrobot on Nov 28, 2017 14:44:57 GMT -6
1. I didn’t have an epidural with either and tore. Honestly felt like there was so much going on and so much adrenaline pumping they by then the stitching really wasn’t too bad. At least it’s something I hardly remember.
2. Sit in a bathtub when you can, and have a peri bottle to spray down after going to the bathroom! The hospital gave me a peri bottle both times so far.
3. I sort of felt that way with DS. I got to see him for a few seconds on my chest after they weighed him and made sure he was breathing before they whisked him down to NICU. It was a different way to get to know him but he was also my first and I had nothing to compare to. But every hand holding and cuddle and BFing attempt we were able to have was really special, even if it was shared in a bay with other parents and babies surrounding us haha. Getting to keep DD and have her with us from the moment she was born and getting to go home with her the next day was a very different feeling, very Instant. Sometimes I feel guilty, but then I remember that each story is special and the way I learned to bond with DS was different than hers and that’s ok. It changes nothing about our relationship outside the hospital. There’s really no way to truly describe it.
You’re gonna do great!
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pippiann
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Post by pippiann on Nov 28, 2017 14:46:02 GMT -6
I loved the peri ice packs for my natural delivery/ tearing and the c/s ice packs for my c/s! For the first 5 days for both deliveries I had an ice pack on! The nurses should show you exactly how to take of yourself down there!
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Post by tiffrobot on Nov 28, 2017 14:47:18 GMT -6
Haha, yes I see the baths and peri bottle were covered while I was typing. Therefore proving their worth lol!
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Post by tiffrobot on Nov 28, 2017 14:49:30 GMT -6
I actually have been thinking about asking the c-section mamas to chime in with experience/healing. I currently don’t have plans for a cesarean, but I know emergencies arise and plans can change in the end.
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pinkcat
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Post by pinkcat on Nov 28, 2017 14:57:09 GMT -6
I actually have been thinking about asking the c-section mamas to chime in with experience/healing. I currently don’t have plans for a cesarean, but I know emergencies arise and plans can change in the end. I agree! I meant to ask about C-section recovery in my post actually. So if anyone has any advice specific to C-sections that would be great too! There has already been so much good info shared here- thanks, all!
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sarahh
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Post by sarahh on Nov 28, 2017 14:57:15 GMT -6
tiffrobot, as far as after care, you still need the peri bottle and pads for the bleeding from the placenta detaching after a C-section. My hospital gave me a little pillow to hold against my incision when I got in and out of bed and when I sneezed or coughed. I didn't use a C-section wrap after because my hospital didn't provide one, but I may get one this time because I am sure DD1 won't let me go 2 weeks without picking her up. They gave me pain meds that I actually only took the first day and then switched to just ibuprophen. I think this time I am going to take the pain meds a little longer but we'll see. I'm trying to think what else. I think the only real difference in healing is that it's harder to get up and move around after not that I have a vaginal delivery to compare to.
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dragonflyinn
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Post by dragonflyinn on Nov 28, 2017 15:01:06 GMT -6
I had a lot of shallow tearing after DD bc she came out SO fast. I had an epi so didn’t feel any of the stitching but it was uncomfortable for awhile after just bc of so many tears. They also had to do some stitching up inside lol doctor called them “skid marks.” The peri bottle was my BFF for a long time.
I also didn’t feel that immediate omggg with DD...like I knew I loved her but it was so strange to see her “outside” of me. On top of that she had trouble clearing her lungs so they took her to the nursery & monitored her for 3 hours so I sat by myself in our room that whole time while DH stayed with her. It is just such a surreal thing to all of a sudden have a baby. And it felt weird calling her by her name at first, it was just all so strange feeling. That changed quickly but at the beginning I definitely was like WTF is going on! Haha
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Post by helloerrbody on Nov 28, 2017 15:11:49 GMT -6
There are so many STM or TTMs on our board, so I thought a thread for any and all labor questions from FTMs would be nice! (We may have done this already several months ago- I can't remember anymore!) But now that labor is getting closer for many of us a refresher would be nice This can be for labor questions from BTDT moms as well! So, for those who have given birth before...is there anything you wish you would have known the first time? Any tips for care after birth? Anything special to pack, or not pack, in our hospital bags? My biggest fears are: - Tearing and being able to feel them stitch me up if I don't get an epidural -Healing from the tears and how to take care of them -Not having that "moment" when he is born where I am overwhelmed with love- I'm so worried I am going to feel detached from the situation. I was really lucky and didn't tear, but I remember being numb down there as my midwife was cleaning things up/delivering the placenta/etc. (I did not have an epidural but I still couldn't feel what she was doing.) I also *think* she said she would use some local if I had needed stitches, but I could be misremembering. Most of my birth tips really only apply to a med-free labor/birth, so just let me know if you're interested in hearing those. In general, I loved having fun/upbeat music playing in the room. I made a playlist and they have cords for plugging in your phone (most newish hospitals probably have this). I honestly probably packed too much crap in my hospital bag. The hospital provided me with pretty much everything other than clothes. I wear orthopedic slippers (granny alert) so I loved having those with me, although it's not like I was walking around much. I wouldn't worry about not having "the moment." You'll be in love.
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Post by marygracerich on Nov 28, 2017 15:17:10 GMT -6
I enjoyed having my own pillow there. I bought a cheap pillow case that I didn’t care about just Incase things got messy. It was better than the hospital pillows.
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pinkcat
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Post by pinkcat on Nov 28, 2017 15:35:22 GMT -6
Great info helloerrbody, thanks! I would love any tips specific to med free labor that you have. It's definitely something I'm interested in.
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stephne
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Post by stephne on Nov 28, 2017 15:40:09 GMT -6
pinkcat I had a 3rd degree tear, it heals eventually. I was also concerned about tearing and I remember the doctor telling me he was going to have to do an episiotomy and I told him I would rather he didn't. He said if I don't cut you, you are going to tear worse. So he did, worst sound ever! My H actually winced when the doctor snipped me. I went in for my checkup at 4 weeks and was completely healed. Granted the first week and a half were hell but try not to let it cause you anxiety, in the end it is what it is. Oh and here's a little story time regarding after care for stitches. My H packed up some of the hospital supplies that they tell you to take with, dermaplast, tucks pads, squeeze bottle for rinsing since you can't wipe etc. Well we got home and I asked him where the squeeze bottle was because I had to go to the bathroom. Turns out he forgot it at the hospital. Cue all the hormonal tears....the poor guy felt so bad that he drove 30 minutes to the nearest walmart to find me a condiment squeeze bottle to use.
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stephne
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Post by stephne on Nov 28, 2017 15:42:27 GMT -6
I had stitches from a forceps delivery with my first. The big tip for dealing with them is to make sure to do the sitz baths, and add some Epsom salts. The stitches dissolve, but the sitz baths helps to keep the area clean and moist for the healing. I also suggest bringing good pads to the hospital for afterwards. I'm a big fan of the always infinity brand, in the largest size you can find (I think it's 5). They pull the moisture in quickly, and they are surprisingly thin for how much they will hold. OMG I thought the sitz bath was the worst!! Maybe because I was so swollen but I tried it at the hospital and I swore it tore some of my stitches (it didn't, but so uncomfortable). The best thing I found was to get a shower head with a detachable head, I would stand in the shower and run hot water on my lady parts which made them feel so much better!
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Post by sparky85 on Nov 28, 2017 15:45:10 GMT -6
I had stitches from a forceps delivery with my first. The big tip for dealing with them is to make sure to do the sitz baths, and add some Epsom salts. The stitches dissolve, but the sitz baths helps to keep the area clean and moist for the healing. I also suggest bringing good pads to the hospital for afterwards. I'm a big fan of the always infinity brand, in the largest size you can find (I think it's 5). They pull the moisture in quickly, and they are surprisingly thin for how much they will hold. OMG I thought the sitz bath was the worst!! Maybe because I was so swollen but I tried it at the hospital and I swore it tore some of my stitches (it didn't, but so uncomfortable). The best thing I found was to get a shower head with a detachable head, I would stand in the shower and run hot water on my lady parts which made them feel so much better! The sitz baths wasn't my favourite for the first couple days, but it was good afterwards. I didn't do it enough, and my stitches weren't healing properly until I started doing them more. I didn't think of using the shower head though.
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Post by jessijean on Nov 28, 2017 16:09:49 GMT -6
dragonflyinn lol @ skid marks. Yikes! I had a 2nd degree tear and honestly, the worst part of healing that no one warned me about was major hemorrhoids. Dermaplast spray was my best friend. Also, take the stool softeners/Miralax! For the stitching...I did have an epidural but it was wearing off so she did use a local anesthetic so I felt some tugging but not pain. I really don't remember the overwhelming feeling of love until much later, so I didn't have that "moment". When they put him on my chest my mind said "WTF did I just get myself into??" even though it was a planned pregnancy. I think it was almost a state of shock. Even if you don't have the overwhelming love moment immediately, it will come. Things to remember: Don't be afraid to ask for help, it's ok (and normal) to cry over what seems like nothing, breastfeeding isn't necessarily easy. I'll come back as I think of more.
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Post by marygracerich on Nov 28, 2017 16:27:21 GMT -6
I am just going to add random things as I remember them. I had a 3rd degree episiotomy. I didn’t have an epidural at the time. I didn’t feel the stitching. I have no idea if she gave me anything to help with that. I am short so when I pushed I damaged my tailbone. That hurt for weeks after delivery. That cold spray stuff was amazing. It made my lady bits so happy.
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Post by marygracerich on Nov 28, 2017 16:27:54 GMT -6
Oh and be prepared for the biggest hormone dump of your life. The emotions for the few days after delivery are very very strong.
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dragonflyinn
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Post by dragonflyinn on Nov 28, 2017 16:52:47 GMT -6
+1 to the hormones. It will come out of nowhere & totally overwhelm you, but it’s normal!
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Post by tiffrobot on Nov 28, 2017 17:30:26 GMT -6
Speaking of hormones, night sweats. It surprised me the first time how sweaty I got when I slept in the beginning
As for med free, mine weren’t by choice, it was by lack of time. So I don’t have advice to like, prepare for how fast it can actually happen. It was shocking both times because I thought “no way”. And in the moment I hate the pain. But as soon as it’s over it’s like I’ve already forgotten what I went through. I breathed way better and kept a better head through DD’s labour which helped a lot. I’m mentally preparing for med free again this time just based on experience. I don’t know what I would do if labour was longer now that I’ve done it twice without. Probably get the epidural, ha.
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aprilz81
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Post by aprilz81 on Nov 28, 2017 17:31:10 GMT -6
My labor with Ava was kinda different given the situation but here are the non-horrible things that could apply to other labors. 1) First labor can take awhile, especially if you are induced. My situation was unusual since I was just over 31 weeks at my induction and my body just wasn't ready AND it was a first labor. 2) I had an epidural and I could still move and mostly feel my legs, they were just tingly like they fell asleep. 3) I had a breech forceps delivery and ended up with 3 stitches, but I wouldn't have known if I hadn't seen my doctor with the needle and thread. Between the epi and holding my daughter I just didn't notice it. 4) Ditto the Always Infinity pads, they are really thin but absorb the blood so you don't feel so icky. I found the hospital pads okay but sometimes they didn't absorb well and I felt like I was going to leak out. I WAAAAAYYYYY overpacked for my hospital stay even knowing we wouldn't be bringing her home. I brought so many entertainment items but didn't have the attention span for anything other than playing on my phone and that was a stretch sometimes. This time I'll bring my phone and kindle and leave everything else at home. Things I brought that were really helpful: - Extension cord - available plugs may not be close to your hospital bed
- Pillow - the hospital pillows were sooooo flimsy and I'm not even that picky about pillows
- Snacks for DH/family who were staying with me during labor and delivery.
I can't believe we are so close that this topic is relevant!!! Eek!
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Post by maddisonrose on Nov 28, 2017 17:32:38 GMT -6
I ended up with a C after 36 hours so I cannot speak to the healing after vaginal delivery or tearing but some insight on the csection. The recovery for me was surprisingly really well. I recommend packing cough drops in your bag though as hospital air can be dry and it hurts so bad to cough and/or laugh. Always use the pillow against the incision if you do have to cough or move around. The only pain mess I was given was Advil every 4 hours and that was good enough for me. The constipation after was honestly the worst part so get on a stool softener ASAP. Emotional recovery was also rough. Mostly due to the fact that it ended up being emergency and you feel like you have zero control. Nothing went as planned, I did not get skin to skin and both MH and D were taken away right after he came out so I never had "that overwhelming moment of love". I obsessed and felt so guilty over this for so many months in the beginning wondering why I didn't have that and the implications it had on my ability to be a mom. Looking back now I can tell you that it's definitely not the be all end all. I was always so in love with my son and had no delays in bonding with him whatsoever. I wouldn't place too much importance on having that moment, especially after one of the major life events a women can go through. You don't need to put that added pressure on yourself and I can say for sure that I experience those moments daily now so it will all be worth it My last bit of advice would just be to try and not be so rigid when it comes to plans and extra pressures (coming from a control freak I totally understand how hard this is) but at the same time don't be afraid to advocate for yourself and your wants. In the end all will be okay and you probably won't remember most of it
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Post by easternshoregirl on Nov 28, 2017 17:50:52 GMT -6
I'm going in this time with a completely different outlook...first time through I thought I'd do the birth without interventions if possible and finally "gave in" and got an epidural when I realized I'd been up for 2 whole nights without sleep and there was no way I was in any condition to push a baby out of my vagina if I didn't get some rest.
So, anyway....I fully plan on the epi this time. I actually sort of enjoyed the pushing part (I think I may have mentioned that before on this board) because it was so exciting that we'd meet our child so soon. I was able to relax.
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Post by hiimjamie on Nov 28, 2017 17:58:53 GMT -6
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Post by hiimjamie on Nov 28, 2017 18:03:28 GMT -6
Also, if you’re planning to breastfeed, bring a Boppy. The hospital pillows blow as nursing pillows. Other things I actually used were: my own toiletries, my own clothes, nursing bras and tanks, a robe. I got a pack of Amazon Basics undies this time bc I hated mesh undies. And I used Always pads when I got home. I’m bringing dry shampoo and face cleaning cloths this time bc I know going into it I won’t be able to bathe for several days. Also, lanolin if you plan on breastfeeding for sore boobs.
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Post by hiimjamie on Nov 28, 2017 18:09:10 GMT -6
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Post by watermelonseed on Nov 28, 2017 18:27:41 GMT -6
I always am a sucker for hearing tips on labor and after birth care.
I think it is very important to remember your experience is going to be yours and yours alone. Each time will be different and be prepared to throw everything out the window at any second.
I’m type A so this is hard for me to grasp and follow through 100%, but I try to keep it in mind.
+1 to long extension cord or chargers and pillows.
I HATE the freaking huge hospital pads. I actually was sick of ruining undies, changing all the tucks etc etc and sent my mom out to get adult diapers. Yes, this is ridiculous, but easier to deal with for me when I was super swollen. Simply toss it out. I already have them packed again.
Take all the stool softeners and get the prescription hemorrhoid cream as soon as you notice an issue. Be proactive and get it now so delivery doesn’t make them worse.
Pregnancy is glamorous amirite?!?
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Post by flippinchica on Nov 28, 2017 18:30:23 GMT -6
Things to pack. I liked having a nursing nightgown to wear starting the day after. Also make sure you bring shampoo, conditioner and body wash. All they had was a soap dispenser on the wall. I also attempted med free but my labor was too long an. I needed sleep. So try to expect the unexpected. It is kinda like running a marathon that you don't know how long it will be and exactly how it will end. I didn't have that magic feeling. He had meconium and wasn't breathing well initially so they had to resuscitate him fairly quickly. I was pretty exhausted and detached at that point and just wanted to rest. I did tear but had an epi so felt nothing of being stitched. I couldn't feel my legs at all or move them at all and it took almost 24 hours for the numbness to fully wear off for me which I know is unusual.
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