TTCAL 11/21

[sammysam]

The Trying to Conceive After a Loss thread is posted once a week (generally on Tuesday) for those of us who have unfortunately experienced a loss. No matter what type of loss you've experienced, from miscarriage to stillbirth to the loss of a child, it is heartbreaking. This thread is to help us commiserate, get support, and to try to navigate trying to conceive, after a loss, every week.

Out of respect to all the ladies here, please add a trigger warning if you decide to talk about any living children and please hide your signature if it contains pictures or tickers of babies or children. We also kindly ask for grads to refrain from commenting in this thread.


If you get a BFP, kindly either spoiler alert it or do not post it here at all.


**If this is your first check-in, and you would like to provide a gtky loss history intro go for it. If not, no worries!**



How are you doing?



Status (TTA, TTC, Benched):



Diagnosis (if applicable):



Updates/questions:



Debbie downer (a place to vent ) : 

[sammysam]

How are you doing? OK. I'm feeling very detached from this whole process right now.



Status (TTA, TTC, Benched): TTC



Diagnosis (if applicable): NA



Updates/questions: I O'd right around the same time as I always did before the loss so it looks like my cycles have just gone right back to normal...which I'm pretty happy about.



Debbie downer (a place to vent ) : Not much to vent. Just feeling weird. I want to get pregnant but feel so detached and blah about it all. I'm feeling more excited about the bunny we're getting soon...maybe because that is a certainty and pregnancy is not. It's like I need something that I can count on...if that makes any sense? I don't feel bad...just not obsessed with the whole TTC process like I thought I would be judging by my desire to be pregnant again. I think part of it is fear too of bleeding out again but this time not being able to get to a hospital on time. That's all.

[akwild]

How are you doing? Meh.... just meh about school and home and planning



Status (TTA, TTC, Benched): Ttc



Diagnosis (if applicable):



Updates/questions: I haven’t been doing anything to actively track O. I use the Ovia app to track my period and enter CM when i see it. Right before it said my FW was supposed to start it changed so it was over...... so that was completely missed...



Debbie downer (a place to vent ) : I’m trying to plan a trip to the lower 48 to visit my aunts and uncles and my grandma. Last year I just felt not unwelcome but that 1/2 of my family didn’t have time..... even though I flew like 12 hours to get there. To the point I don’t want to go visit that half but that is where my grandma is. Part of me also hopes to be pregnant and I don’t want to be like 6 months and flying..... I’m just ugh

[akwild]

sammysam I have the same feelings like I want to be pregnant but the whole Ttc thing isn’t super high on my list. Not like previous times.

[sammysam]

Nov 21, 2017 23:27:53 GMT -6 akwild said:

sammysam I have the same feelings like I want to be pregnant but the whole Ttc thing isn’t super high on my list. Not like previous times.

Yes! We were supposed to try last night. Instead I watched an episode of Shameless and then just told SO that we didn't need to...even though we probably should have. Like you I'm just kind of meh about everything. School, students, I even let my grade 12s get away with not having an assignment ready that was due yesterday. Just meh.

I'm ready for December.

[mirabelle]

How are you doing?
I'm a wreck, can't sleep unless medicated


Status (TTA, TTC, Benched): benched



Diagnosis (if applicable): pcos



Updates/questions:
TW (loss) just found out about our loss at our 20w scan last week and had a burial/ceremony this past Monday....posting here to get opinions on ifi can/should skip out on Thanksgiving with the in laws? It's a mixed group and I honestly don't know who all knows what and am feeling anxious about inquiries in regards to our recent loss.

Everyday since I have moments where I feel really strong and think I can handle the day, but then throughout the day during random unrelated things I'm doing I just breakdown. My fear is I will breakdown and won't be able to collect myself and ruin everyone's gathering. Any advice on this?


Debbie downer (a place to vent ) :

[akwild]

mirabelle I’m so sorry. I say if you don’t feel up to people stay home. Or is it close enough to pop in for pie after dinner? So you still showed, but didn’t feel trapped.

[sammysam]

mirabelle I'm so sorry to see you here.

I would say wait and see how you're feeling. My loss was much earlier than yours and even when I thought I was fine I would burst into tears at the weirdest times. Don't put pressure on yourself either way and if you do go don't be afraid to say you're not feeling well and just leave.

I'm so so sorry!

[mirabelle]

Thanks sammysam and akwild for the helpful advice, just going to see how I feel tomorrow.

[MsG]

How are you doing? Still going through a lot of ups and downs. Feeling really bummed about not being pregnant this holiday season, but also doing a little better than I have been. Baby steps.


Status (TTA, TTC, Benched): TTC


Diagnosis (if applicable): PCOS (me), low motility (DH)


Updates/questions: Not much to update. Still waiting for AF to return post MC. It's been almost 5 weeks now so still in a completely normal timeframe, but I am so over it.


Debbie downer (a place to vent ) : Nothing really to vent about at the moment.

sammysam, akwild, I definitely had months like that between my first and second MCs. I think it's just a normal part of the grieving process. I used to feel apathetic one month and then totally frantic the next.


mirabelle, I'm so, so sorry for your loss. I agree with everyone else. Play it by ear and if you don't feel up to it, don't go. My loss was at 12 weeks and it was over a month ago and I still randomly cry at times. It's completely understandable if you're not up to a big family gathering.

[cara]

mirabelle - I'm so incredibly sorry for your loss.

[sunshiney]

sammysam I'm glad your cycles seem to be back to normal. That detachment can be wonderfully protective - I've experienced that on and off and I kind of see it as a bit of a mental/emotional break from the intensity.

akwild Oh I'm so sorry you missed O! That is the most frustrating thing. It's also a pain to schedule travel when you hope to get PG. But I hope that trip ends up being a chance to show grandma a baby bump!

mirabelle I'm so sorry for your loss. I'd say put yourself first, don't try to meet anyone else's expectations right now...do what you feel up to, be kind to yourself in this very fragile time.

MsG Five weeks feels like forever when you're in the middle of it...I hope your cycle comes back soon.