Radley
Sapphire
Posts: 3,273 Likes: 13,750 
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Post by Radley on Oct 17, 2017 18:27:45 GMT -6
The Trying to Conceive After a Loss thread is posted once a week (generally on Tuesday) for those of us who have unfortunately experienced a loss. No matter what type of loss you've experienced, from miscarriage to stillbirth to the loss of a child, it is heartbreaking. This thread is to help us commiserate, get support, and to try to navigate trying to conceive, after a loss, every week.
Out of respect to all the ladies here, please add a trigger warning if you decide to talk about any living children and please hide your signature if it contains pictures or tickers of babies or children. We also kindly ask for grads to refrain from commenting in this thread.
If you get a BFP, kindly either spoiler alert it or do not post it here at all.
**If this is your first check-in, and you would like to provide a gtky loss history intro go for it. If not, no worries!**
How are you doing?
Status (TTA, TTC, Benched):
Diagnosis (if applicable):
Updates/questions:
Debbie downer (a place to vent ) :
QOTW : What is your favorite way to get out and move around? Going to the gym? Dancing? Swimming? Hiking?
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notmoose
Amethyst
Posts: 6,457 Likes: 10,896
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Post by notmoose on Oct 17, 2017 20:00:53 GMT -6
How are you doing? Not good at all.
Status (TTA, TTC, Benched): ttc
Diagnosis (if applicable):
Updates/questions: I had my thyroid tested again last week. One level was still slightly elevated. Dr said we'll test again in 3 months.
Debbie downer (a place to vent ) : AF was 9/15. I think it started again today. I never ovulated. I temped and used OPKs (sometimes 3 times a day). I am so fucking frustrated I could cry (and have more times than I can count). This fucking sucks. I'm angry I had a miscarriage, I'm angry my body is not back to normal, I'm just angry. I'm sad. I think I'm depressed and I'm still dealing with anxiety.
QOTW : What is your favorite way to get out and move around? Going to the gym? Dancing? Swimming? Hiking?
Going to the gym. I hit the elliptical and treadmill 6 days a week. I also like walking outside. I'd like to go hiking but there's no where around here.
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Post by sunshiney on Oct 18, 2017 10:47:56 GMT -6
How are you doing? Very much taking it day by day, so currently focused on waiting to O and the thought of pregnancy is something for my future self to deal with. Status (TTA, TTC, Benched): TTC Diagnosis (if applicable): RPL, IF Updates/questions: I'm curious if other AL friends test early or wait. It would be so devastating to have another CP and the fear that goes with it but also so sad not to know. Debbie downer (a place to vent ) : Mad at urologist's office because they won't give us a semen analysis update after the first two samples, DH and I are both experiencing anxiety and it will be a few more weeks before the third sample can be done and I think they are very mean. It's his own medical info and I feel he has a right to it and this is no way to treat IF patients. QOTW : What is your favorite way to get out and move around? Today, I'm celebrating getting off crutches! (sprained and fractured ankle...it's been 3 months). My favorite way to get around is on my own two feet lol. Next step - driving! 
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Radley
Sapphire
Posts: 3,273 Likes: 13,750
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Post by Radley on Oct 19, 2017 16:18:55 GMT -6
notmoose I’m so sorry. I wish I had the right words to say. sunshiney we only tried for 2 months after my MC before we were benched but I did test early both times because my self control is horrible. Did they do an analysis? If they preformed one then I think they legally would have to turn over the info if you demanded it? But I know nothing of IF either.
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Radley
Sapphire
Posts: 3,273 Likes: 13,750
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Post by Radley on Oct 19, 2017 21:24:23 GMT -6
How are you doing? Kind depressed.
Status (TTA, TTC, Benched): Benched
Diagnosis (if applicable): PID related fertility issues, liver disease and swollen spleen.
Updates/questions: none
Debbie downer (a place to vent ) : My EDD was Sunday. I keep thinking I should be having a baby. I can’t stop. And on Tuesday I had to go to my Women’s Wellness place (where I delivered my babies, they are also a woman’s primary care office) for some DNA testing and being there not pregnant during the week that I should have been having my baby was heart breaking.
QOTW : What is your favorite way to get out and move around? Going to the gym? Dancing? Swimming? Hiking?
I love hiking but I don’t do it much. Other wise I like Dancing and Gym.
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Post by sunshiney on Oct 20, 2017 6:30:03 GMT -6
Radley I'm so sorry, what a sad day to have to get through. Be kind to yourself a this very painful time. Saying a prayer for you. After 5 or 6 calls they finally gave me the results of his first 2 analyses. One was super low, like needing IVF low (4.3 mil/mL) and the other was off the charts good (163 mil/mL). So he'll just have to have another test or two to get an idea of what's normal for him. It was hard news to process especially because we're not sure if all is well or if we're dealing with a big problem and fertility treatments in our near future...but it's good to have information to start thinking about possible next steps. notmoose I am really frustrated on your behalf, what a mindf*ck. It must feel so defeating to be ready to try again and your body isn't giving you that chance yet. I also want to say that I admire you so much for staying so active and taking care of yourself like that!
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notmoose
Amethyst
Posts: 6,457 Likes: 10,896
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Post by notmoose on Oct 20, 2017 7:42:18 GMT -6
Radley thank you. I'm sorry you're struggling with your edd passing and having to go to the wellness place. Many big hugs to you. sunshiney thank you. It is a mind fuck and super frustrating. I'm trying to stay hopeful, but its hard. I'm glad they finally gave you the results, but I'm sorry they didn't help ease your mind. Did they tell you why they were refusing to give you the info? Did they say why one test was so low and the other so high? I don't know much about that stuff, so sorry if these are dumb questions. Big hugs to you.
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Post by sunshiney on Oct 20, 2017 7:53:25 GMT -6
notmoose They wanted to wait until 3 results were in and tell us at a consult with the doctor so he could explain everything. Makes sense. But I don't care, we want to know all the things! No, they didn't give any explanations yet, but that is reasonable to wait until there's more info I think. Not that the wheels in my head won't be turning about it until then...
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notmoose
Amethyst
Posts: 6,457 Likes: 10,896
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Post by notmoose on Oct 20, 2017 9:15:13 GMT -6
notmoose They wanted to wait until 3 results were in and tell us at a consult with the doctor so he could explain everything. Makes sense. But I don't care, we want to know all the things! No, they didn't give any explanations yet, but that is reasonable to wait until there's more info I think. Not that the wheels in my head won't be turning about it until then... okay, that makes sense. I could see them not wanting to tell you before they have all the info. But I think if a patient asks for their results there shouldn't be any pushback. I hope the third test gives you some solid answers and y'all can move forward. |
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Speedy
Sapphire
Posts: 4,613 Likes: 8,575
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Post by Speedy on Oct 20, 2017 13:28:48 GMT -6
Hey guys, sorry I fell off the face of the earth. I just wanted to give you a little update, because my life has been super ridiculously crazy. On Monday I started my new job. I love it already. I'm so glad I moved, it's such a better more positive place to be! I finished up my orientation today, and I start on my own on Monday. It's kind of scary, especially because I have one of the hardest sections to do, but I know I have an awesome team who's going to be there to back me up. {*****TW*****}The other reason I disappeared is because AF was late. Yesterday, day 6 late, I finally got a squinter, which got darker today. I definitely wasn't expecting this to happen this soon, but I'm also grateful that I don't have to go through the mindfuck for months. |
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Post by notelsie on Oct 21, 2017 14:28:36 GMT -6
How are you doing? I'm alright, trying not to stress or lose hope.
Status (TTA, TTC, Benched):TTC
Diagnosis (if applicable): IR PCOS
Updates/questions: Cycle 1, Month 4.. cd42 with no signs of O or AF.
Debbie downer (a place to vent ) : I'm ready for this cycle to be over.. this is such a waste of time. I already have long cycles as it is I don't need anything else making this drag on.
QOTW : What is your favorite way to get out and move around? Going to the gym? Dancing? Swimming? Hiking? Going to the park, mall, bowling.. anything really. dancing sounds fun though.
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Post by notelsie on Oct 21, 2017 14:36:25 GMT -6
notmoose, I am so very sorry.. I know those feelings all too well, and I'm trying to fight them off myself this cycle. sunshiney, I tend to get early positives so it makes it hard to wait.. I drive myself nuts, and waste so much money sometimes.. I'm forcing myself to try to wait until I'm late or no earlier than cd10. Radley, so many hugs.. it's so hard.. I do everything I can not to think about how old my baby should be, or that I should still be so far along with my other one by now.. but having to go to the OB for non pregnancy related reasons just adds insult to injury. You can't help but think about it. Speedy, {*trigger warning*}I'll be sending thoughts and prayers. I'm so hopeful for you <3 <3
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Post by sunshiney on Oct 21, 2017 15:59:58 GMT -6
Speedy Congratulations on the awesome new job!! Congratulations!! Saying a prayer for a happy and healthy 9 months, and for your peace and joy while PGAL.  Oh that is so frustrating.  I hope you see O or AF soon so you can get this show on the road!
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Post by bearfootzcontinued on Oct 23, 2017 14:44:13 GMT -6
How are you doing? OK Status (TTA, TTC, Benched): Benched for a little bit Diagnosis (if applicable): PCOS Updates/questions: The results from the RE were overall decent. The saline u/s showed a uterine polyp so that needs to come out before we proceed. That is scheduled for the end of November (that feels like forever away), and I am back on the pill until then. Debbie downer (a place to vent ) : TW QOTW : What is your favorite way to get out and move around? Going to the gym? Dancing? Swimming? Hiking? Yeah - I really need to figure this out because I need to move more. I do enjoy going for walks and used to like going to Zumba classes. Read more: howeverithappened.proboards.com/thread/7721/ttcal-10-17#ixzz4wMiLXi8JDD was diagnosed with diabetes. She is doing amazing, but the past few weeks have been stressful and emotions about TTC have been all over the board. We went for our results consultation a week after her diagnosis and the RE agreed that our focus needs to be on her now. Also, we were planning to use money from our health savings account to cover the cost of treatment - which will now be going to Children's Hospital instead.
The silver lining is that the RE said we can't rule out the possibility that we could get pregnant on our own so she wants me to get this polyp taken care of, lose weight, and try on our own - and if that doesn't work we're going back in spring. |
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Radley
Sapphire
Posts: 3,273 Likes: 13,750
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Post by Radley on Oct 23, 2017 22:22:29 GMT -6
Speedy congrats and many fingers crossed and hugs! sunshiney thank you! That is very kind. I’m glad that they finally gave you the info. I’m like you, I just want to know what is going on even if it isn’t really helpful info. I hope you get good news. notmoose thank you! notelsie I’m so sorry you are dealing with all this. What a frustrating situation. I hope this cycle ends soon for you. Also thank you. I’ve been feeling like a crazy person all week. I can’t do anything without thinking “I should have a new baby” or “I shouldn’t be doing this, I should be sitting on my but nursing a baby”. It’s killing me this week. And we’re freaking benched. It’s just so sad and frustrating. @bearfiitzcontinued I’m so ver sorry about all of that. I feels like when it rains, it pours, doesn’t it? So many hugs. I have to lose weight and pass my scans in March before we can start trying again, it’s so hard to be benched, huh? I’ll be thinking of you and your situation. Many hugs.
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Post by sunshiney on Oct 24, 2017 9:11:47 GMT -6
bearfootzcontinued Oh, I'm so sorry about the dx. What a life changing transition to go through for all of you. **Child Mentioned** My niece was diagnosed with Type I very young and is doing a great job managing her diet, activity, testing and treatment as a 6th grader. Now, it is just her normal and she has grown in so many ways due to the challenges she faces. Just want to share that as a word of encouragement. But of course there is first a grieving process realizing how different daily life will be from what you or she would have expected or hoped. Saying a prayer for peace and wisdom for all of you during this time. I can't imagine how frustrating it must be to have the time, effort, and finances planned for TTC to have to be redirected right now. What a setback. I'm having kittens this week just because I didn't O as expected in our first month post BC. Can't even imagine the frustration of putting everything off for several months. Be kind to yourself, and I hope this time goes quickly and smoothly until spring. I'm glad you can take concrete steps to prepare now including the polyp removal and (if you choose) weight loss. I hope that focusing on those steps will help the benched time feel more productive. And it's awesome that your RE thought you might have a surprise BFP along the way with that polyp out!!
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notmoose
Amethyst
Posts: 6,457 Likes: 10,896
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Post by notmoose on Oct 25, 2017 11:21:05 GMT -6
So I had my second period from Oct 17-21. I had sex the 22nd and I started bleeding again after and it lasted all day the 23rd. It was more than just spotting. No bleeding yesterday until I had sex again and then bleeding again last night and today, more than spotting. I'm assuming tomorrow it will be gone. Is this normal? The first time I thought it was because I just got done with af, but then it happened again.
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I hope you see O or AF soon so you can get this show on the road!