mapleme
Amethyst
Posts: 6,067 Likes: 16,083 
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Post by mapleme on Oct 13, 2017 9:33:39 GMT -6
I think that it's important to do what you need to do for yourself and your mental health. That said, perhaps it's possible to provide support without opening yourself up so far. Maybe just conversations on the phone or email. But if you feel like it's not possible to support her without opening yourself up, or if you're too emotionally exhausted, that is ok too. Sometimes someone can be a good person, but be toxic for you.
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nikkipal
Sapphire
Posts: 2,751 Likes: 8,044
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Post by nikkipal on Oct 13, 2017 10:12:02 GMT -6
I think that one of the great things about having kids is the way it brings your priorities into sharper focus. Trust your instincts, Willy. If nothing else, you can pull the twin card. You have so much on your plate-- I think it's fair to be honest about it.
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stringy
Opal
Posts: 8,306 Likes: 22,157
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Post by stringy on Oct 13, 2017 12:31:59 GMT -6
I'm pretty loyal, and if I found myself in an abusive situation, I would want my lifelong friends waiting for me on the other side.
Does she live close to you or to where you are moving?
Has she really moved on from this relationship?
And most importantly - is the relationship between the two of you toxic? Or is this the one instance there was drama (for lack of better word)? From what you explained, which I'm sure isn't the whole story - I'd give her a second chance. This is assuming you aren't her sole support person and she supports you as well. As PP said too, you have a lot going on and you need to take care of you and your family first.
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Post by charlotte on Oct 13, 2017 14:06:55 GMT -6
I know you are moving far away soon. Maybe you guys can reconnect in a positive way while still maintaining some healthy distance— literally and emotionally, I guess. Would exchanging emails be something that you would be comfortable with and could provide both of you with an outlet for support?
If you truly think the you + her relationship (minus the guy) was toxic, then I would probably not get involved with her again.
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milano
Emerald
Posts: 10,914 Likes: 36,993
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Post by milano on Oct 13, 2017 15:03:13 GMT -6
I agree with a lot of what's been said. You've got a lot going on right now, so she has to understand that you're already spread pretty thin. If you want her in your life in some capacity, I'd do some simple emailing/texting correspondence for now and see how it plays out. If you get that toxic feeling, shut it down and don't look back.
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