Twin moms - I need some advice

[piccyami]

W was soooo cranky around that time because he was getting his first teeth.

We really did go through some rough patches where someone was always angry all the time. It doesn't last forever.

You guys have also just changed your routine and the nanny is still new-ish to them. Any time we changed things, we had some seriously grumpy babies on our hands. When we switched to taking them to DC, it took a while to adjust to the new routine.

Keeping two babies happy at the same time is a challenge. Does wearing one baby help?

Sorry I don't have a lot of suggestions.

[pbandj714]

The first months are sort of a blur for me, so bear with me.

I remember being on maternity leave and having days like that. Someone (usually G) was always fussing. It was HARD. L was my content baby and I had all the mom guilt that I didn't spend as much time with her as I did with needy G. Then she developed a flat spot from all the content bouncer sitting she did. I felt terrible. It did resolve itself once she started sitting up and belly sleeping, but you know how mom guilt is. If I'd had two babies like G I can tell you it would have been 10x harder than it was.

Like piccyami said, I'm sure the change in routine has something to do with it, but I'm gathering that they were like this even before the nanny. True?

What kind of daily routine do you have them on? How are they sleeping at night? I know 4 mo is that dreaded regression everyone talks about. I remember from the beginning trying my darndest to do the eat-play-sleep thing. Didn't work for us. Mine prefered the eat-sleep-play routine or there would be hell to pay. I remember stressing about them becoming dependent on bottles to sleep. Omg, I'm ruining them! But nope, that didn't happen. It was a routine that worked for us in the early days. I also "power fed" before bed, which helped a ton. They'd get a small bottle when I got home from work and then a normal sized bottle right before bed time, which was an hour and a half later. I want to say that the full bellies helped a lot with sleep issues.

Oh, and I never felt like I had my shit together. Heck, I still don't some days. It's truly hard to feel like you've "got this" and are meeting their needs. And some babies are needier than others. You are not alone in this and you will get through it. It does get better! Honestly, my kids really turned the happiness corner when they could sit up. It was like a switch flipped and they loved to sit and play with a toy in front of them. That was around 6 mo. I wished that I had bought the Fisher Price sit me up chairs that everyone raved about because then maybe I could have gotten them to that happy place sooner. If you don't have them, maybe try one (or two) out? Maybe sitting up will be their happy place, too.

I hope my rambling helps. Know that we're here for you! It's seriously tough, but again, it does get better. SO MUCH BETTER. Fun, even!

[piccyami]

Yes, the sit me ups were huge for us! And yes, the early days are still a blur. Once they were more able to do things on their own, they were happier.

Could their crankyness be related to food?

Even now, when both of them are crying, I deal with the one I think I stop crying easier first. If all else fails, I'll just sit and hold them until they crash.

We also realized around 3.5-4 months that they needed a drastically earlier bedtime (5-5:30 for a 6 wakeup) because of all the time we were up in the night.

[ovenrack]

I am not a twin mom. So don't count my story. But I like to share.

H was a pretty cranky baby. Just, crabby. He wasn't content unless someone was putting in a good amount of work towards MAKING him happy. I have previously attributed it to first time mom over-attention, but since having M, I do think some babies are just cranky. I'm sorry. I hope you find something that helps!

H is a very happy 3yo now. He turned major corners once he could crawl (independence!), walk (more independence!), and talk (now I can tell you what I want!).

HUGS.

[piccyami]

Oct 12, 2017 8:54:01 GMT -6 @criscosalad said:

Oct 12, 2017 8:31:07 GMT -6 piccyami said:

Could their crankyness be related to food?

I had previously cut dairy and eggs to see if it would resolve some of N's reflux and A's diaper area sensitivity and neither made a difference. I cut them for a month and nothing changed so I added them both back in.

I only asked after our journey through just about every formula out there. We finally settled on the one that didn't cause problems. (Gas, spit up, constipation)

[mc13]

Omg. Yes. I seriously googled the other day “Can a 13 month old have colic?” No lie. I agree with what ovenrack said. Some kids are just hard and cranky. R was like that and now E is. It’s even more noticeable since A is a dream baby and so happy/calm all the time. I would totally think that it was something I was doing if A wasn’t so easy.

4 months was the start of our toughest period. Months 1-4 were a breeze. Then they stopped sleeping and waking tons. Around 9 months, it got better. They were on a solid 2 nap schedule and A was mostly sleeping through the night. However, at almost 14 months, E is still tough and still wakes at least 3 times a night. We spent lots of time of me holding them both, rocking in the la z boy or with them both in bouncy seats and me bouncing them at the same time with my feet. Our best bet was getting out of the house into the cool air or walking around where they could watch people like Target and costco. I’d wear E, leave A in her car seat in the cart basket and have R in the seat of the cart. And again, it got easier when they could sit up, then again when they could crawl, and now walking has made it even better.

You’re in the thick of it. I know it’s overwhelming but it will get better. Just hang onto survival mode as best you can. R has had so much screen time this last year but we’re back to normal now. Sometimes you just have to do what you can.

[piccyami]

mc13 reminded me. Getting out of the house once a day makes a huge difference. It always has. Even if we just walk to the playground or down to my mom's. We don't have to do anything, but we need to get it if the house.