Baby fever (not a poll this time)

[danib]

Anyone else getting baby fever?


I had my IUD removed like 2 weeks after C's first birthday. Now that H's first birthday is approaching, it's definitely on my mind.

It's not a good time. I need to get back to work. We need to pay some bills and save for a bigger house. I would not survive pregnancy on the amount of sleep I am currently getting. But I'd be lying if I said I wasn't feeling that.... pull? again.

Where's everyone else at? (even if you are 100% done, how are you feeling)

[jubilantsquirrel]

MH and I were just talking about this on Saturday.

I'd totally have another right meow, but MH said he wants to wait another year to revisit the idea. He's not sold on a 3rd yet, but he said he's not going to go get a vasectomy either. So, we'll see. Baby fever set in the minute I got home from the hospital and hasn't let up. Same thing happened after DS1. I definitely feel in my heart that my family isn't done growing yet.

[goldenlove]

It actually hasn't hit me TOO much yet. There's been a couple babies born this month and seeing them has definitely made me miss the itty bitty baby phase (why?) but I've been having so much fun with C lately and watching him grow and do something new almost everyday. I'm pretty content at the moment.

[elle]

I'm feeling close to ready for a second, but my H isn't. I'm hoping he'll be on the same page in the next year or so.

[danib]

Oct 9, 2017 10:32:14 GMT -6 elle said:

I'm feeling close to ready for a second, but my H isn't. I'm hoping he'll be on the same page in the next year or so.

DH isn't anywhere near ready yet either.

[jubilantsquirrel]

I'll take all the babies, please. I would seriously have several more, but I know MH is not on board with that.

[starbuck]

I'm trying to figure out when to broach being a surrogate with H. I'm trying to figure out if it even makes sense. In my head, when W is in pre-K next year I could do it. I think. I'm pretty sure.

I mentioned it once and he told me I'm getting too old (I'm 31 FTR) so my eyes rolled right out of my head. But I don't think he thought I was serious. He is just concerned for safety.

[danib]

That's amazing starbuck. I had a friend offer to be a surrogate for us if we decided to go that rout.
What do you think his concerns are?

[starbuck]

Oct 9, 2017 11:03:50 GMT -6 danib said:

That's amazing starbuck. I had a friend offer to be a surrogate for us if we decided to go that rout.
What do you think his concerns are?

He has told me he would be afraid I would die from some complication. No specific reason, just a vague fear. H can be a little extra tho lol as you know.

I haven't had any serious issues in the past so I don't know where that is coming from.

[tgrimes]

Oct 9, 2017 10:58:35 GMT -6 starbuck said:

I'm trying to figure out when to broach being a surrogate with H. I'm trying to figure out if it even makes sense. In my head, when W is in pre-K next year I could do it. I think. I'm pretty sure.

I mentioned it once and he told me I'm getting too old (I'm 31 FTR) so my eyes rolled right out of my head. But I don't think he thought I was serious. He is just concerned for safety.

We have a girl on N13 that is trying to be a surrogate.  They did a transfer last year and she lost the baby.  They're trying to do another one soon.  It's crazy how much you have to go through to do it.  

And you are not old.  YH needs to stfu with that shit. (says the oldest girl on our board  )

[starbuck]

This is my favorite age. Like 10 mo until about 2 is the best so far. So I definitely understand why that pull is getting stronger for those of you who do not feel done.

I was thinking today that it will be both awesome and bittersweet to watch some of you keep going, knowing I am done and won't be on the next leg of the journey alongside you. Though, I will be with you.

I'm ovulating and deep in my feels today lol

[starbuck]

Oct 9, 2017 11:16:24 GMT -6 tgrimes said:

Oct 9, 2017 10:58:35 GMT -6 starbuck said:

I'm trying to figure out when to broach being a surrogate with H. I'm trying to figure out if it even makes sense. In my head, when W is in pre-K next year I could do it. I think. I'm pretty sure.

I mentioned it once and he told me I'm getting too old (I'm 31 FTR) so my eyes rolled right out of my head. But I don't think he thought I was serious. He is just concerned for safety.

We have a girl on N13 that is trying to be a surrogate.  They did a transfer last year and she lost the baby.  They're trying to do another one soon.  It's crazy how much you have to go through to do it.  

And you are not old.  YH needs to stfu with that shit. (says the oldest girl on our board  )

I have heard that the process is intense. Is she going thru an agency?

[tgrimes]

Oct 9, 2017 12:20:18 GMT -6 starbuck said:

Oct 9, 2017 11:16:24 GMT -6 tgrimes said:

We have a girl on N13 that is trying to be a surrogate.  They did a transfer last year and she lost the baby.  They're trying to do another one soon.  It's crazy how much you have to go through to do it.  

And you are not old.  YH needs to stfu with that shit. (says the oldest girl on our board  )

I have heard that the process is intense. Is she going thru an agency?

Yes.

[waitwhat]

starbuck I had no clue you wanted to be a surrogate. How awesome!

[waitwhat]

I really really really thought I wanted a 3rd. But I’m content being two and through. It was hell having 2u2 for a little bit there and it’s getting so much easier each day so I feel like we are in a good place. I also enjoy the thought of taking family vacations and not being pregnant or having a newborn to take care of. Also, I’m by myself with the kids about 90% of the time and I honestly don’t think I can wrangle 3 kids.

And the biggest reason- I’m ready to have my body back. Been either pregnant or nursing since October 2014. I’m totally done.

[Cheshie6]

No baby fever here, sorry. I guess I'm odd gal out. I keep bouncing between L needs a sibling but I'm completely content with him right now. But I'm afraid that when I am ready it'll be too late... I'm 35 now.

Edit: Words... Typing is hard. 

[sophiegrace]

This is so incredibly complicated for us.

I know longer feel like I want to be OAD and in my head I see a future with more than one child, but I have a hard time coming to terms STILL with how differently things are playing out.

Pregnancy is not easy for me mentally or physically and I'm personally not ready to put myself through it and mentally not wanting to put M through not being able to give her 100%. I think it'll get more and more attractive once she starts sleeping in her own room and through the night. I think I would also be singing a different tune if she weren't sooooo attached to me still.

That all being said, I'm not on BC and it's not like my H and I are practicing abstinence. I don't have my period yet, but the CP in April proved that that didn't matter. If I get pregnant in the near future I can't imagine not coming around to the idea quickly.

[vino]

We are done with two and I couldn't be happier. You can pretty much copy and paste waitwhat's post to mine.

I'm ready for the next stage of life with these two; school, vacations, extra curricular activities and figuring out who they are/will be as people. I have zero feels about them growing up 'too fast', I'm loving watching who they are becoming.

[sophiegrace]

starbuck you are quite an amazing woman. I am so happy that there are women like you and ashleysyn in this world.

[vino]

sophiegrace That's exactly how I felt when I had B, it took me until he was close to 2yo to decide to want another. I had a miscarriage and then was pregnant with J about 4 months after that.

I love the 3 year age gap; B was out of the crib so we just got him a whole new set then set up J's nursery, he was potty trained/night trained, easily STTN, commincated exactly what he wanted/needed, only one year of two kids in full time daycare, and honestly I knew the first year sucked sooo bad with B that i had a completely different outlook on the newborn/infant stages. It's basically survival with bouts of laughter and baby giggles mixed in there to keep you going.

In saying all that, waiting is an a-ok feeling to have.

[sophiegrace]

Oct 9, 2017 14:15:17 GMT -6 vino said:

We are done with two and I couldn't be happier. You can pretty much copy and paste waitwhat's post to mine.

I'm ready for the next stage if life with these two; school, vacations, extra curricular activities and figuring out who they are/will be as people. I have zero feels about them growing up 'too fast', I'm loving watching who they are becoming.

Yes!

I love looking back at pictures of M, but I'd prefer to be looking forward in watching her grow and learn. If I get sentimental or sad it's usually because I try and think of what I could have done or handled better.

I mean I do miss sitting on my couch doing nothing because she was a little immobile potato though....

[sophiegrace]

Thank you vino! That gives me a lot of hope. In my mind I have thought quite a few times that another November baby the year M turns 3 would be perfect. It's a dream of mine lol.

[tallb]

Oct 9, 2017 13:08:18 GMT -6 waitwhat said:

I really really really thought I wanted a 3rd. But I’m content being two and through. It was hell having 2u2 for a little bit there and it’s getting so much easier each day so I feel like we are in a good place. I also enjoy the thought of taking family vacations and not being pregnant or having a newborn to take care of. Also, I’m by myself with the kids about 90% of the time and I honestly don’t think I can wrangle 3 kids.

And the biggest reason- I’m ready to have my body back. Been either pregnant or nursing since October 2014. I’m totally done.

I had baby fever until a month or so ago, now I'm leaning to being done with 2, probably because N is now mobile and it's more work. And logistically, I don't think I could handle 3 schedules since I am on pickup and dropoff duty, I'm currently in survival mode with two.

[Cheshie6]

sophiegrace, I think once L is sleeping in his crib full time, I may change my mind!

[kleigh]

I definitely have ‘baby fever’ but I also know that for me, having these two has been incredibly unbelievably difficult and draining and I’m not sure I could/would want to do it again. Maybe if I had more time but I feel as though we don’t have a lot of time. I’m 36 next month and I always said I was done at 36... that was my personal limit.

The first six months was so much more difficult than I ever could’ve imagined. I felt like a failure, not knowing how to handle things, handle all the crying, AVs colic, the choking (remember AV had that issue), trying to figure out what they wanted, if I was screwing them up, afraid to put them down but tired and needing a break, SAHM or working mom, etc. This first year will forever be etched in my mind. Most twin parents say they don’t remember the first year. I remember almost every minute bc honestly it was more work than enjoyable and it felt like I waited forever for it to get easier. It did.

I had kind of bad PPD (?) which was nonstop crying and bouts of rage that I didn’t really wrap my head around until recently when the fog lifted and I went “whaaaaaat the hellllll ?!”. I should’ve been taking care of that and seeing someone and taking care of me and I was so focused on THEM that my own well-being was compromised.
That said, I was also a new Mom twice over. I had help but not when I needed it most (during the daytime when everyone else was at work). And even when there is help that just makes it one on one coverage instead of two on one, legitimate breaks or nights off weren’t really a thing.

LSS, I am only recently able to see another newborn and “awwww” instead of wanting to run and hide. BUT i don’t know that I want to do that again.

I will sit on starbuck ‘s bench. I’ve toyed with offering to be a surrogate (having gone through the infertility journey I’d love to give someone else a baby), and if our friends needed one I would do it, but otherwise I won’t pursue it for various reasons.

[starbuck]

kleigh *hugs* girl. The first 6 months was so fucking terrible. And it kind of makes me feel weird saying that about the first few months of my kids' lives but there's really no other way to frame those months. They were the worst months of my life, hands down. And absolutely +1 to putting self-care (ha!) on the backburner. Like it would take a great deal of help, way more than we had, to swing that.

How are you liking twin life nowadays? For us, things have been getting slowly better. And it's still a lot to handle but it feels way more manageable and infinitely more enjoyable.

[hangry]

starbuck I thought the biggest concern with "advanced" age (not that 31 is that, to be clear), that he eggs are not as viable. Not as much having to do with the body carrying it. Despite that, you are not too old to carry another baby!

sophiegrace as someone whose kids are 2y4m apart, I could easily see how an even bigger spread would be easier. Every month got O closer to 3 was easier to manage him and therefore them. And seriously, as we said in that other thread, it's going to be a total game changer when she's sleeping through the night. Total.

[hangry]

AFM, I wouldn't say I have baby fever yet but another babe is definitely still on my mind in the future. As I just said, something closer to a 3 yr age gap would be ideal. So I'm not getting antsy yet. I haven't even returned to work yet! But once I'm back at work, E is actually sleeping, and AF returns, I have a feeling my tune will change.

[kleigh]

starbuck Thank you. It’s night and day as far as I’m concerned. If they cry at all it’s for about thirty seconds total in a day bc one took the others toy, or they’re tired and letting me know, or they bumped their head or something obvious and manageable. They rarely if ever cry at the same time, maybe in the car seats if at all. Not only does AV not cry going to sleep (she used to cry at every. single. sleep) but she actually puts herself to sleep (not for naps but for bed). It’s defibitely hard but it’s more physical than emotinal/mental. But that said I think it’s also that I’ve made it a point to take breaks/ask for breaks, reconnect with MH and sisters, brush off a lot (like my house is never clean or comments/suggestions from others), and work on not getting afraid at every little cry or whimper or demand. I think they’ve grown as have I.

[sophiegrace]

Whoa whoa whoa kleigh...

30 seconds of crying in a day? Putting herself to sleep at night? When did AV start becoming a unicorn?!! And more importantly how soon can she call M and let her know what's up? I didn't think it was possible, but M continues to get more and more emotional every month.

(Emotional is my nice word for crying her face off at everyyyything All. Day. Long.)