cnf
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Post by cnf on Oct 7, 2017 18:10:37 GMT -6
Haven't read yet but I'm posting this here because I feel bad always talking about pregnancy related stuff in GD. But my BFF is having trouble conceiving they started trying after they got married and it's been a year and two months. Nothing has happened at all, like no missed periods or anything. She started tracking her ovulation a few months ago so she at least knows she ovulates, which is a step in the right direction. The next step right now is getting her husband's sperm tested soon. I just feel so helpless, here I am on my third pregnancy and she's struggling. Any ideas for keeping her spirits up/not making her feel worse? We struggled to conceive our first too, even after my uterus surgery. We ended up going back to the Reproductive Endocrinologist who did my surgery after trying NFP for a few months. We did a few different types of assisted cycles. It took us 22 cycles and until the cycle we got pregnant, I never even had a reason to POAS. I would suggest, even though she at least suspects she is ovulating, to go in for testing as well. Often they like to test the couple, to get the full picture. You can also just let her know that you may not understand what she is going through, but you would love to be there to listen and learn with her. Back when we were struggling, 3T on TB is where I found solace and people who understood. I didn’t have anyone, besides H, to go to who wouldn’t try to fix it or offer up suggestions of patience, to relax, or that it would happen when it was supposed to happen. You can definitely still be there for her. My BFF confided their struggles in me and after two years, when she finally got pregnant, it made it sooooooo much more exciting when she finally got pregnant. She's 22w now and I'm still over the moon for them.
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bethkate
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Post by bethkate on Oct 7, 2017 18:16:59 GMT -6
Thank you clucky!!! She did meet with a new OB or gyn last week. She said at this point he told her to just get him tested first. Would she need a referral to get further resting done or is that something she could pursue on her own Eta: I'm sort of relieved to hear that hearing all of those things can get old after awhile. I try to put myself in her shoes and I think I would feel the same way so I try not to say those to her all the time. I hope I can be a good sounding board for her. Maybe I can convince her to start chatting or at least read some of the boards on here for extra support She shouldn’t need a referral from her ob, but she might from her PCP if her insurance requires it. I just had to call my primary to have them refer me. I’d strongly suggest she go straight to an RE though since it’s been over a year already. They will do the semen analysis on her H and lots of other testing on her too. OBs and their offices just aren’t trained or equipped to handle infertility testing.
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Post by icedcoffee on Oct 7, 2017 18:19:16 GMT -6
cnf That's so awesome for them!!! I can imagine I would feel the same bethkate I did not know that about the OB and gyn. Maybe I should mention that to her because I don't think she knows that either. Thank you!
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bethers
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Post by bethers on Oct 7, 2017 18:19:43 GMT -6
Thank you clucky!!! She did meet with a new OB or gyn last week. She said at this point he told her to just get him tested first. Would she need a referral to get further resting done or is that something she could pursue on her own Eta: I'm sort of relieved to hear that hearing all of those things can get old after awhile. I try to put myself in her shoes and I think I would feel the same way so I try not to say those to her all the time. I hope I can be a good sounding board for her. Maybe I can convince her to start chatting or at least read some of the boards on here for extra support +1 to her getting tested. Ovulation tests are based on increases in hormone levels - but that doesn't mean she is actually ovulating. She should ask her doctor about that and try to get a reproductive endocrinologist involved. Just listening is so important. And try to do things just with her when you can. It's hard for anyone to understand if you haven't struggled.
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Post by icedcoffee on Oct 7, 2017 18:20:33 GMT -6
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bethkate
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Post by bethkate on Oct 7, 2017 18:21:49 GMT -6
icedcoffee, yeah, I’d mention it. Even when an ob gyn calls themselves a fertility specialist or whatever, their offices still usually aren’t able to do the same level of testing and monitoring that RE’s offices are.
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clucky
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Post by clucky on Oct 7, 2017 18:22:43 GMT -6
icedcoffee OBs can only do so much and I would not suggest her taking any fertility medications without seeing an RE. Many OBs elieve they can prescribe clomid and just send the couple on their way. There are side effects that, when not monitored through ovulation, can be either counterproductive or even devistating to the woman’s fertility. They make it seem harmless, but I’ve had friends (yes, 2) lose an ovary and tube due to an over stimulated ovary that caused it to flip and by the time symptoms showed, it was too late to save them. It is also the medication that John & Kate were on when they conceived the sextuplets (from my understanding, they were told to avoid that cycle because there were too many potential follicles, they didn’t listen). Clomid can also negatively effect the lining of the uterus. She should be able to easily get a referral from her OB since they have been trying for over a year without success. If she was over 35, it is 6 months. Have her lurk here, TB was WAY different in 2010-2012. 😉
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clucky
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Post by clucky on Oct 7, 2017 18:25:53 GMT -6
OB is to RE as General Surgeon is to Cardiothoracic Surgeon
If you need to explain why. The RE is a much more specialized OB. They have more years of study beyond basic OBGYN studies. Hopefully that helps.
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Post by icedcoffee on Oct 7, 2017 18:33:02 GMT -6
Thank you so much clucky and bethkate!!! I will for sure mention all of this to her. I'm glad I made my post now!!!
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bethkate
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Post by bethkate on Oct 7, 2017 18:34:45 GMT -6
+1 to what clucky said about clomid. OBs seem to hand it out like candy and rarely do the necessary blood work or ultrasounds. I ended up with cysts while taking clomid, and if I hadn’t been monitored and had kept taking it during those cycles, I could’ve lost an ovary.
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roloma
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Post by roloma on Oct 7, 2017 18:35:14 GMT -6
Everyone else basically covered it icedcoffee but I just wanted to +104847281929 to going right to an RE and skipping the OB. It took us 4 years to conceive DS1. I was kind of in denial that something could be wrong. We went to an RE, had all of the basic testing done, and got pregnant on our first medicated IUI cycle. I still kick myself to this day that we waited so long. With this pregnancy, we tried for 3 cycles on our own because I was really hoping it would just happen. Again, our first medicated IUI back with the RE and I was pregnant. My OB would have never gotten us pregnant since nothing officially shows up as "wrong" with either of us. Best of luck to them. It is such a difficult thing to deal with.
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clucky
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Post by clucky on Oct 7, 2017 18:47:06 GMT -6
Thank you so much clucky and bethkate!!! I will for sure mention all of this to her. I'm glad I made my post now!!! Though it has been a while, my IF brain is still there, though rusty, even after 3 “how in the heck did that happen” pregnancies. Glad you asked too. ❤️
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Post by misskilljoy on Oct 7, 2017 18:52:46 GMT -6
Belatedly, DD is 100% my mini-me. The only part that I don't think resembles me is her nose, which may be DH's nose but I don't really know because his has been broken for the entire time I've known him. She otherwise looks exactly like I did as a kid and it's hard to tell us apart in photos.
Sorry, honey. You will be a cute child and then a very average adult.
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cnf
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Post by cnf on Oct 7, 2017 18:58:20 GMT -6
H took a few candids of us today. I'm excited to see the professional pictures.
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bazi
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Post by bazi on Oct 7, 2017 19:09:45 GMT -6
icedcoffee one of my best friends had trouble TTC, and I totally get the helpless/awkward feeling when you are pregnant and your friend desperately wants to be. Aside from all the good TTC advice others provided...I just tried to remember not to complain about pregnancy/parenting with her, and not let every conversation turn to DD. Letting her vent when she wanted to, but also helping her focus on all the other things she had going for her in life. Fertility doesn't define her as a person, as a woman, as a wife. Fortunately after 18 months and 6 IUI cycles they got pregnant and now she has an adorable baby girl.
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Post by misskilljoy on Oct 7, 2017 19:19:51 GMT -6
My mom told me today that while she is watching DD when we have this baby, she's not really planning on bringing DD to the hospital while we're there and would rather wait until we are settled in at home and are ready for her to come home. My parents live a little over an hour from the hospital, so the thought of driving her in for a half hour visit and then trying to convince her to leave again doesn't appeal to my mom. I... am so okay with this. I have half a mind to say to my ILs that we'll do visits once we've left the hospital, full stop. Entertaining while trying to recover was not fun last time.
My mom's decision here is sound, IMO. No almost-3-year-old wants to sit in a car for an hour each way just to see their parents for half an hour and be told they have to leave again.
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bethkate
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Post by bethkate on Oct 7, 2017 19:26:33 GMT -6
misskilljoy, I would be on board with that plan too. I’ve never really understood wanting to have a million people visiting in the hospital when you likely feel like shit.
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Post by grumpycat on Oct 7, 2017 21:51:02 GMT -6
Guys. My mom is making a homemade pumpkin pie for our mini Thanksgiving tomorrow! Thank you to our Canadians for this wonderful craving! Also, you can create a pregnant bitmoji.
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thatgolfb
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Post by thatgolfb on Oct 7, 2017 21:51:07 GMT -6
misskilljoy that is a longish trip for a toddler and it sounds like the right decision for you guys! We had a good amount of visitors in the hospital while I was in labor, and after DD was born. But I was fine with it. I just mostly sat in bed and people brought me stuff and held the baby so I got a break, lol. This time around will likely be the same. We only live 15-20 minutes from the hospital so visits can be quick. And if possible, I would like DD to come to the hospital at some point.
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thatgolfb
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Post by thatgolfb on Oct 7, 2017 21:54:09 GMT -6
Haha grumpycat I made mine pregnant as soon as the pee stick dried.
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Post by grumpycat on Oct 7, 2017 21:57:35 GMT -6
misskilljoy that sounds like a solid plan! We are only 15 minutes away from the hospital and my mom mentioned wanting to be in the delivery room (which I promptly shut down -- she never had a contraction during her two pregnancies and would struggle respecting my "don't touch me/don't talk to me" policy). My in laws live 6 hours away but will be in the car as soon as I go into labor. Team Green is also making all the grandparents a bit on edge lol. You will hopefully get some good uninterrupted (well, by visitors at least) recovery time. I'd definitely run it by my in laws
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Post by grumpycat on Oct 7, 2017 22:12:39 GMT -6
Haha grumpycat I made mine pregnant as soon as the pee stick dried. I am new to bitmoji lol. And I love it!
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Post by grumpycat on Oct 7, 2017 22:13:59 GMT -6
Thank you Ovia for letting me know that baby is the size of a Chihuahua.
Posting craze done lol.
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thatgolfb
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Post by thatgolfb on Oct 7, 2017 22:34:23 GMT -6
cnf I don't think I commented earlier but those pics are sooo cute!
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Post by AnnPerkins on Oct 7, 2017 22:39:43 GMT -6
Thank you Ovia for letting me know that baby is the size of a Chihuahua. Posting craze done lol. Ovia's size comparisons are just drunk at this point. How can she be a cabbage, basketball hoop, and baguette?
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Post by AnnPerkins on Oct 7, 2017 22:40:54 GMT -6
I made late night mistake (but delicious) nachos and am now pretty sure my sleep is going to be fucked tonight.
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pootsen
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Post by pootsen on Oct 8, 2017 6:01:00 GMT -6
I made late night mistake (but delicious) nachos and am now pretty sure my sleep is going to be fucked tonight. I was hungry before bed last night because dinner was healthy/minimal (shrimp, brown rice/quinoa blend, green beans — who am I?!?) but I didn’t eat anything because I knew it would give me heartburn and keep me up. I hope your nachos sent you into dreamland and you got some decent sleep!
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pootsen
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Post by pootsen on Oct 8, 2017 6:04:53 GMT -6
Good morning everyone! DS was a hellbeast yesterday afternoon from spending the night at his Nana’s but he refused to nap and passed out on the couch at 5:30pm. It’s now 7am and he’s still sleeping. Idk what to do with myself!
It’s supposed to be super beautiful out today and DH isn’t hunting this weekend so I think we might go pumpkin picking! DH will likely be hunting every weekend from now until the baby is born, so this will probably be our last outing as a family of 3.
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bethkate
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Post by bethkate on Oct 8, 2017 6:25:24 GMT -6
I made pizza for dinner last night, and it seems like it didn’t agree with H or me. I don’t know what it could’ve been that messed with our stomachs, but I was in the bathroom every two hours over night, and h is feeling it this morning. No fun.
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quinn
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Post by quinn on Oct 8, 2017 6:55:56 GMT -6
I made pizza for dinner last night, and it seems like it didn’t agree with H or me. I don’t know what it could’ve been that messed with our stomachs, but I was in the bathroom every two hours over night, and h is feeling it this morning. No fun. That's the worst. Feel better soon
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