TTCAL

[nevertoomanyshoes]

Hello, anyone out there? I left (graduated) but alas am back. I know others are still in this (insert profanities and sadness words here) boat too... do we have enough people wanting this thread?

Status: Not quite TTC (waiting for betas to go to 0)

Update: Loss number 3 (2 consecutive). Getting basic bloods done with my PCP, no referrals on just yet.

Vents/etc: same old, surrounded by triggers and just going through the emotional roller coaster of loss. I'm angry and sad and frustrated. 

QOTW: favourite junk food and or comfort food? 
Nachos for sure. I have the ingredients ready to roll.

[elsiemae]

I'm so sorry nevertoomanyshoes. Huge hugs to you lady.

[elsiemae]

Status: TTC

Update: Cycle 2. CD 21, DPO 10.

Vents/etc: Tomorrow is my EDD from my last loss. So I refuse to test until Wednesday at the earliest. Fuck a bunch of May 23rd.

QOTW: favourite junk food and or comfort food?
Anything sweet. Oreos are usually my go to.

[smores]

Hi all. I know I'm still newish and not always around as much as I'd like to be, but I'm here and the other place. Honestly, I'm probably going to stay in lurker mode for a while until the dust settles.

[nevertoomanyshoes]

I'm sorry elsiemae thinking of you

[smores]

It looks like this is "home".

Status: TTC - CD 9 (7mo / 2 AL)

Update: Our first cycle AL was a bust. I mean, I've been around the block, I wasn't expecting it to happen again right away, but I certainly was hoping.

Vents/etc: I'm going to try and spoiler this **TW OPP**

SPOILER: Click to show

My BFF told me this week that she's pregnant. I have a lot of feelings right now. I'm seriously so happy for them. She is also super early on and hasn't had her 1st appointment yet, so I'm irrationally scared for her. I know I'm projecting. I'm also sad for me and sad about my loss. Idk, like I said, I'm feeling a lot.

QOTW: favourite junk food and or comfort food? Smores! (I mean, duh. Haha.) I'm also a pretty big fan of Kraft Mac & Cheese.

[smores]

nevertoomanyshoes - I am so, very sorry for your losses.

elsiemae - Big hugs. Milestones are so hard. Wishing you luck this cycle.

[nevertoomanyshoes]

Thank you smores

New (non event?) update: basic RPL tests (glucose, thyroid, lupus coagulation etc) came back all clear. I was relieved but also not? Weird emotions I was not expecting. I mean I realise that nothing structurally or genetically has been looked at, but, I don't know whether I'd prefer to be "explained" or "unexplained".

[nuggetrn]

nevertoomanyshoes crap crap crap, I am so sorry to see you back here I get completely wanting to have an answer as to why this is happening, even if it means some sort of a diagnosis. At least it means that you have something to work towards as opposed to just throwing whatever at you and crossing your fingers that it will make a difference.

Hugs to the other ladies here as well elsiemae, smores,

[nuggetrn]

This whole board moving thing is so confusing to me. What a huge mess. I have been a very sporadic poster here lately but it is still nice to have a place to go where I kind of know what is going on.

Status: TTC - on TI cycle #2 CD5

Update: Nothing new really

Vents/etc: I was so incredibly sure that TI would work, we would get pregnant. I was still pretty terrified of more loss but for some reason I was just so sure I would get pregnant. The BFN was actually pretty jarring for me. I am feeling a lot of feelings this week - I'm not pregnant, I am job searching because my wonderful awesome work place is being burned down by management, I miss my grandmother, and I could just keep going. I have been so good for a while and suddenly I am just not.

QOTW: favourite junk food and or comfort food? Carbs of any kind.

[justbecause]

Status: TTC cycle # 4 cd 14

Update: same old same old

Vent: I'm starting to give up hope. :-( we've been trying since our loss in September. I probably should start tracking with ovulation tests or something

Qotw: bread and cheese!

[Radley]

Status: TTA

Update: more and more health issues popped up in the last few weeks. Right now we're waiting on imaging results to see if I have kidney stones or another kidney issue. H and I decided to stop TTC until my health issues are sorted out. This is incredibly sad and scary for me as we have no idea if I'll develop PID again while waiting for other health issues to resolve. It's so hard to change my mind set from "try and you might have a baby in 9 months" to "you will not being having a baby in 9 months".

Vents/etc: **TW OPP and a MC**

SPOILER: Click to show

I found out that someone I considered to be a best friend has been lying to me for years and then she continued to lie and call me a bad person for not believing her lies when I had proof. All this on and around the day that I was comforting one friend because she was miscarrying and part of her grieving process was to share all the physical details as well as pictures. I didn't want to tell her to please not share that with me as it hurt me, because she deserved to have someone to listen to her and comfort her. And another friend called because she was anxious about her ultrasound since she had a previous miscarriage, so I talked to her and let her talk about her anxiety for a bit. And then later she called to tell me everything was great. I am super happy for her, but it was really bad timing. I wanted to tell everyone I was in a bad place to talk about babies and miscarriages since we had decided the night before to stop trying for awhile, but I couldn't bring myself to do it because they needed support. And my friend screaming at me that I was a bad person because she broke my trust and I told her I couldn't handle a close relationship with her, didn't help matters either. Sorry, that was a long vent.

QOTW: favourite junk food and or comfort food? I love butter popcorn with milk duds.

[smores]

nuggetrn - Big hugs. It sounds like you're dealing with a lot right now.

justbecause - I'm sorry you're feeling that way. I felt that OPKs were a good place to start when I decided that I wanted/needed to do something more.


** TW OPP**
Radley - That is SO MUCH to be dealing with. You are awesome for being able to put everything aside to be there for your friends, but don't forget to take care of yourself as well. They sound like they have a lot going on in their lives, but so do you! I'm so sorry that you've had to put off TTC. I'm sure that was a hard decision. I hope that you are able to get answers about your health and spend the time healing (mentally and physically). Also, I hope you know that your "friend" is wrong. You are absolutely not a bad person and I'm sorry that she said that and hurt you. I'm always here if you need to talk/vent.

[nevertoomanyshoes]

Radley jeez that is a hell of a lot. Please don't feel bad, your "friends" aren't being very considerate of you and your feelings. Miscarriage pictures? To another loss mum? Please take care of yourself. I'm sorry TTC is on hold.

[nevertoomanyshoes]

May 28, 2017 8:17:03 GMT -6 justbecause said:

Status: TTC cycle # 4 cd 14

Update: same old same old

Vent: I'm starting to give up hope. :-( we've been trying since our loss in September. I probably should start tracking with ovulation tests or something

Qotw: bread and cheese!

Do you temp? Personally I find that less "difficult" since I don't have to worry about line analysing and holding my pee in the afternoon etc. But I'm a frequent pee-er so maybe just me lol.

[nevertoomanyshoes]

nuggetrn I'm sorry. It's all a mind fuck. Hugs to you.

[nevertoomanyshoes]

Sorry for all the posts, I'm mobile and suck at tagging properly when remembering multiple tags.

[nuggetrn]

justbecause big hugs, I definitely recommend temping and/or using OPKs if you want to be certain you are hitting your fertile window.

Radley, I am SO SO sorry about your very inconsiderate friends. You are so sweet to want to try to be considerate of their needs but protecting yourself is never wrong either. Easier said than done I know I really hope these other health issues get cleared up quickly for you.

[Radley]

Sorry to have posted and ran. I had a cookout to go to.

nevertoomanyshoes I'm so sorry about this newest loss. So many many hugs. That really sucks. I'm glad the RPL tests came back clear, but as someone who has had multiple problems and faced many "all clear" tests, I know it's so frustrating to not know the "why" of things. And to feel torn about wanting or not wanting to know. I hope that you get answers if that is what you need.

elsiemae I'm sorry about the EDD, that sucks so much. Maybe try to do something extra nice for yourself tomorrow? A massage or pedicure or favorite food?

smores I'm sorry about the BFN.
**TW OPP**
With both of my friends who have gotten pregnant since my loss I have projected and been scared for both of them. It's okay and normal. Just maybe take a deep breath and do something to take your mind off of it. Do you enjoying writing, coloring or reading?

nuggetrn oh my, I'm so sorry. That is a lot of have to deal with at once. I'm sorry about it all, so many **hugs**

justbecause definitely try OPKs and temping. I realized I actually O slightly later and it's nice to know that our timing was actually off a little.

[Radley]

smores nevertoomanyshoes nuggetrn
Thanks for the support guys. I felt like maybe I was being a little dramatic because my emotions are on edge. That maybe all those things aren't really big deals but it was bad timing. The best friend thing was a big deal though and it hurt a lot. I'm thankful to have this board. I hope y'all don't mind if I still check in here even though I'm not TTC right now. I'm gonna try some other AL boards and probably won't be posting in many of the TTC threads since it's difficult for me. But I know y'all and would hate to leave this check in.

[nevertoomanyshoes]

Radley that's one of the things I love about this checkin, is that we mostly just talk feelings rather than TTC I'm sorry you have to wait to try again but am glad you are going to stay here regardless.

[smores]

Radley I completely understand if you need to take a step back from the TTC board for a bit, but I do hope you keep checking in here when you can!

Thanks for the suggestions. I do enjoy reading and coloring, although I never have much time for either. Coloring does work well as a relaxing/anti-anxiety tool for me, though, so I'm thinking I need to make some time to do that!

[MsG]

Status: TTC (cycle 13)

Update: So I planned to get my day 3 FSH test this month, but turns out day 3 was today and labs aren't open on Memorial Day. I think I'll still get my HSG test this month, so at least check one test off my list. Kind of nervous about the HSG as I've heard they can be a little painful, and I'm nervous about the results. The hubs will also be getting his sperm analysis this month.

Vents/etc: Just chugging along and trying to get through the first battery of diagnostic tests. On the one hand, it'll be good to know. On the other hand, my method of dealing with stress is usually avoidance so actually going to get tests is making me freak the f out.

QOTW: favourite junk food and or comfort food?
Ramen. So obsessed with the salty, fatty goodness.

P.S. So sorry that you all have cause to be here, but glad to have the community. I had joined TCF in September of last year, but I have a hard time keeping up (only posting every couple of weeks) and was nervous when I started seeing the implosion.