Speedy
Sapphire
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Post by Speedy on Sept 26, 2017 3:14:02 GMT -6
The Trying to Conceive After a Loss thread is posted once a week (generally on Tuesday) for those of us who have unfortunately experienced a loss. No matter what type of loss you've experienced, from miscarriage to stillbirth to the loss of a child, it is heartbreaking. This thread is to help us commiserate, get support, and to try to navigate trying to conceive, after a loss, every week.
Out of respect to all the ladies here, please add a trigger warning if you decide to talk about any living children and please hide your signature if it contains pictures or tickers of babies or children. We also kindly ask for grads to refrain from commenting in this thread.
If you get a BFP, kindly either spoiler alert it or do not post it here at all.
**If this is your first check-in, and you would like to provide a gtky loss history intro go for it. If not, no worries!**
How are you doing?
Status (TTA, TTC, Benched):
Diagnosis (if applicable):
Updates/questions:
Debbie downer (a place to vent ) :
QOTW : What's something you tried really hard to like, but just didn't?
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Post by sunshiney on Sept 26, 2017 7:31:32 GMT -6
Hi, TTCAL! With a lot of nervousness, I'm back to try this again - hope you'll have me!  (Was @bunnyberry at the previous places.) With the arsehole ex, I experienced 7 years of infertility, with 3 pregnancies (from IVF), all resulting in losses. Now, remarried to a guy who's an amazing partner and would actually make a wonderful dad...praying that happens without further heartbreak. How are you doing? Scared to death about going through this again. Lurking your last check-in, I can see that's a very normal feeling about TTC AL.  Status: Almost TTC! Diagnosis: Main issue with ex was MFI. I've also had endo and adhesions (treated), short-ish LP, polycystic ovaries (but not the syndrome), and high prolactin (may contribute to my late-ish O). Not sure if I'm officially RPL because my losses were a CP, 7.5 weeks, and an EP (follow-up HSG did show clear unscarred tubes), but RPL bloodwork showed no immune causes (I do have Crohn's). RE consult scheduled for December (about 10 weeks away) so we should know by then if I am cycling normally after removing my Nexplanon implant (in 6 days, eek!). Updates/questions: Removing Nexplanon next Monday. Getting DH tested because we may need IF treatment due to my history. Debbie downer: My right ankle is in a boot cast at the moment (torn ligament and contused bone) - I can't drive. So for his sperm analysis this morning, he had to drop me off at work on his way to deliver his sample. It was stressful but not the biggest deal until he got there and there's a sign that the office moved. Drives to the new location, gets sent back to the original location, there's no entrance labeled, finally finds a construction guy who directs him to the right place. On the way out, painfully jammed his back by stepping down where he didn't realize there was a step (a different place from where he entered) and now is so nervous about his healing back fusion surgery that he had just a few weeks ago. I'm feeling so worried and sorry for him, and also this guilt that because of me he has to go through all this instead of just the fun experience of TTC. Thanks for the place to vent though, I feel a bit more perspective now! QOTW : What's something you tried really hard to like, but just didn't? Whiskey. DH rarely drinks, but if he does it's really good whiskey - hence our puppy's name! Unfortunately, it just takes like dirty trees to me. I wanted to be that cool girl who appreciates his whiskey with him, but it's just not going to happen. |
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notmoose
Amethyst
Posts: 6,457 Likes: 10,896
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Post by notmoose on Sept 26, 2017 8:11:45 GMT -6
How are you doing? Eh, I have good days and bad days. The bad days have been more often the past couple weeks. Seeing my SIL new baby triggered some really low days for me.
Status (TTA, TTC, Benched): TTC
Diagnosis (if applicable): n/a
Updates/questions: so, I just got AF back since my loss. It lasted 7 days and then spotting on the 8th (usual cycle is 5 days, with day 5 spotting). My body is being so weird. My temp is still all over (which I blame partly on being sick), I'm having fertile CM already. Idk
Debbie downer (a place to vent ) :
QOTW : What's something you tried really hard to like, but just didn't?
Kale, shrimp, Gilmore girls, lady gaga
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Speedy
Sapphire
Posts: 4,613 Likes: 8,575
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Post by Speedy on Sept 26, 2017 9:30:54 GMT -6
Welcome back sunshiney. I'm not sure if I knew you at the other place or not. FX everything works out well for you, and that YH didn't injure himself again. notmoose my AF was all messed up for a while too. It may be your new normal or it may still be evening out your hormones. Unfortunately there's no way to tell but wait and see |
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Speedy
Sapphire
Posts: 4,613 Likes: 8,575
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Post by Speedy on Sept 26, 2017 9:36:42 GMT -6
How are you doing? Tired, stressed out
Status (TTA, TTC, Benched): TTC!!
Diagnosis (if applicable): RPL
Updates/questions: I started on citalopram for my anxiety as of Friday. So far not much change except that I'm more tired than normal. I've used my ativan a couple of times to head off a panic attack. I hate how it makes me feel but it's better than feeling like I'm dying.
I also decided to go ahead and start applying for a new job. I'm not sure if I'm ready to leave my current workplace, but I don't think being here is helping my anxiety, and I'm finding myself more and more disagreeing about how things are done.
My birthday is on Friday and my mom is flying in on Thursday, so I'm just trying to get through this week.
Debbie downer (a place to vent ) : see above
QOTW : What's something you tried really hard to like, but just didn't?
Celery and zucchini specifically. Knitting
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Post by bearfootzcontinued on Sept 26, 2017 12:03:19 GMT -6
I'm joining you ladies Status (TTA, TTC, Benched): TTC Diagnosis (if applicable):PCOS Updates/questions: Guess I'll just put a brief intro here if that's ok. We started ttc about ten years ago and after a year went to the RE and he determined I wasn't ovulating due to PCOS. Round two with the RE came in 2012 and I was able to conceive with femara and timed intercourse, but miscarried at 8 weeks. I didn't really know how to handle that - just too many emotions and I tried to convince myself that I was content with the family that I had. Last year we saw a different RE, but for a variety of reasons we put things on hold. After a lot of soul searching and discussions we realized this year that we need to stop being scared - of the costs, the frustration of ttc, the possibility of another loss - and we need to just go for it. So I met with a different RE and just went in for all of the testing again. She already upped my metformin and told me to lose weight. On Friday I have a saline u/s and DH has his testing. Then we figure out the plan of action. Debbie downer (a place to vent ) : My ovaries like to make cysts when I'm not on the pill so that's been fun. U/S yesterday showed one on the left and a paraovarian cyst on the right but doctor wasn't sure yet if they'd interfere with anything. Also, our insurance doesn't cover treatment but covers 80% of diagnosis - though because I was technically diagnosed years ago if they do an audit I might have to pay for everything out of pocket since the testing is still required for returning patients. Guess we'll see what happens. QOTW : What's something you tried really hard to like, but just didn't? Kale, Grey's Anatomy, red wine (willing to try this again though) Read more: howeverithappened.proboards.com/thread/6747/ttcal-check-weeks-26-10#ixzz4to9mLQ00IUI with follitsim and trigger, b/g twins born in 2009. |
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Speedy
Sapphire
Posts: 4,613 Likes: 8,575
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Post by Speedy on Sept 26, 2017 14:39:40 GMT -6
So guys, MH is officially completely on board with TTC lol. He's been reminding me to take my prenatal, buying foods high in folic acid, and has not yet complained about DTD even though it's more frequent than our normal.
He got a bag of spinach at the grocery store and shoved it in my face so I could read where it says it helps fetal development. I'm married to a fool but I'm so glad he's up for this ride!
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Post by sunshiney on Sept 27, 2017 8:46:22 GMT -6
Speedy Your hubby sounds so sweet! That's adorable. Also, happy (slightly early) birthday - I hope your special wweek ends up being lovely but not too stressful. bearfootzcontinued Welcome, I'm sorry that it's so scary to be back TTC (totally understand!) but I hope it is quick and easy for you this time around! (esp so those cysts don't get too annoying...) notmoose I'm sorry for your loss. I hope your temps and everything even out quickly and match up with your CM so you get a clear picture of your cycle!
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notmoose
Amethyst
Posts: 6,457 Likes: 10,896
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Post by notmoose on Sept 27, 2017 10:39:20 GMT -6
sunshiney thanks! I hope your ankle heals quickly, the nexplanon removal goes smoothly, and you have great success with ttc!
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Radley
Sapphire
Posts: 3,273 Likes: 13,750
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Post by Radley on Sept 28, 2017 7:47:20 GMT -6
How are you doing? I have a cold so not great. Status (TTA, TTC, Benched): Benched Diagnosis (if applicable): PID related fertility issues, enlarged spleen, liver disease. Updates/questions: none Debbie downer (a place to vent ) : **TW OPP** my sister's gender reveal is this weekend. I'm so conflicted on how I feel. I'm vacillating between being okay with not being pregnant and not trying and having baby fever. Some days I am even okay with the thought that we may not get pregnant again, other days it's a struggle. I'm trying to figure out what I want. QOTW : What's something you tried really hard to like, but just didn't? The Walking Dead, miso soup, most fish. |
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Post by sunshiney on Sept 29, 2017 5:36:43 GMT -6
Radley Ugh, it really sucks to be on the bench.  The swinging emotions are so normal, i think, but also so hard to deal with...like our brain is trying to protect us and be all, who needs a baby? and then that's not our true heart so then the baby fever emotions come back with a vengeance trying to assert themselves...if anyone has the secret to just patiently taking this process one day at a time, please let us in on it!! I hope you can kick the cold quickly, being physically run down makes it so hard to deal with emotional strain. Sending you peaceful thoughts!
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notmoose
Amethyst
Posts: 6,457 Likes: 10,896
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Post by notmoose on Sept 29, 2017 8:12:54 GMT -6
Radley I've got a cold too, so I feel you. And my sister is also pregnant. Big hugs, it's tough.
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Post by notelsie on Oct 2, 2017 18:24:27 GMT -6
Hey guys! Sorry I suck so badly at keeping up here. We've had two big moves and we still aren't done so things will be crazy for awhile longer. I'm looking forward to life settling down a bit.
How are you doing? I'm doing well mostly. I still have my moments, but overall I'm proud of how I'm handling things.
Status (TTA, TTC, Benched): TTC
Diagnosis (if applicable): IR PCOS
Updates/questions: I'm just waiting to O. We are on month 4 of trying, but this is cycle 1 due to my body being an asshole.
Debbie downer (a place to vent ) : Meh.. I'm too exhausted to vent.
QOTW : What's something you tried really hard to like, but just didn't? Snickers.. or any candy with peanuts/peanut butter.
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Post by notelsie on Oct 2, 2017 18:29:32 GMT -6
sunshiney, bearfootzcontinued, welcome <3 I'm so sorry for your losses. Speedy, I'm so glad H is enthusiastic about trying again. He sounds so sweet. notmoose, I feel you on AF issues.. our bodies need to chill the heck out. Radley, hugs <3 I hope this weekend went as smoothly as possible.
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Speedy
Sapphire
Posts: 4,613 Likes: 8,575
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Post by Speedy on Oct 2, 2017 19:46:42 GMT -6
notelsie, it's okay, I post this thing and I suck at keeping up XD I've had a BIG week guys, seriously, it's been nuts! My mom flew in late Wednesday night, and as a surprise brought my dad with! And then on Thursday I interviewed for a new job, and got a formal offer on Friday (my birthday), while I was sitting in the chair at the salon getting my unicorn hair done. I left my 2 weeks notice on Saturday, and have spent the last 2 days either driving all over kingdom come with my parents (we lost cell and radio reception at one point because we were out so far), or working on finishing up my loft bed. It's ALMOST DONE. AND, I actually have a mattress now, yay! I can soon stop sleeping on an air mattress on the floor XD Also, my husband is totally a goofball!! This was after we got home from my supper/party on Friday and he decided to pretend to play zombie while I was trying to get a picture of my hair lol. 
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Post by notelsie on Oct 2, 2017 20:52:29 GMT -6
Speedy, dude.. sleeping on a real bed sounds heavenly! We are currently on an air mattress, and I'm hoping to have our bed in by the 20th ish.. lol
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Post by sunshiney on Oct 3, 2017 7:12:10 GMT -6
Speedy Your hair is so awesome!! Yay for a great birthday week, and congrats on the job offer! notelsie So sorry for all you've been through, saying a prayer that your rainbow baby is almost here.
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Radley
Sapphire
Posts: 3,273 Likes: 13,750
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Post by Radley on Oct 6, 2017 19:46:14 GMT -6
Sorry guys! My notifications on Tapa have been acting weird! I’ll try to keep up better and respond more.
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(Was @bunnyberry at the previous places.) With the arsehole ex, I experienced 7 years of infertility, with 3 pregnancies (from IVF), all resulting in losses. Now, remarried to a guy who's an amazing partner and would actually make a wonderful dad...praying that happens without further heartbreak. 
The swinging emotions are so normal, i think, but also so hard to deal with...like our brain is trying to protect us and be all, who needs a baby? and then that's not our true heart so then the baby fever emotions come back with a vengeance trying to assert themselves...if anyone has the secret to just patiently taking this process one day at a time, please let us in on it!! I hope you can kick the cold quickly, being physically run down makes it so hard to deal with emotional strain. Sending you peaceful thoughts! 
