girlmom
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Sept 20, 2017 12:05:00 GMT -6
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Post by girlmom on Sept 20, 2017 12:05:00 GMT -6
I know a Caroline who goes by Carly as a nickname, in case that helps at all.
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hangry
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Sept 20, 2017 13:34:02 GMT -6
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Post by hangry on Sept 20, 2017 13:34:02 GMT -6
Would she be open to having Carly as the middle name? Is this disrespectful? I don't know the norms of adoption and naming. But this seems like a compromise?
Do you know why this particular name? Personal significance, family significance, just likes it?
Anyway, here are some other C names... Carys Clarissa Corinne Corinna
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hangry
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Sept 20, 2017 18:03:27 GMT -6
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Post by hangry on Sept 20, 2017 18:03:27 GMT -6
Ugh, that's really tough. I would have a hard time getting behind that. So while you don't want to burn bridges, I really feel like giving her the middle name would be a good compromise. But I don't know how to go about approaching that. Maybe table the discussion for a little while (assuming you have time before baby is due).
I did think of a few other variations: Cora Carina/ Karina Coraline
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Sept 20, 2017 20:44:21 GMT -6
Post by oliversbear on Sept 20, 2017 20:44:21 GMT -6
What about:
Cara Carey Carlotta Carmel Scarlett
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Post by charlotte on Sept 21, 2017 20:57:34 GMT -6
There are still about 4 months until the birth, right? If it doesn't have any significance to her other than she likes it, maybe she will think of some other names she likes in the meantime. A lot of people change their mind about names until the very end of pregnancy.
This seems like a really tough situation to navigate, so I don't really have any advice. Try not to fixate on this issue too much until you even know if baby is a girl. Maybe some other adoptive parents have been through similar situations and would have some wisdom.
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joy
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Sept 23, 2017 7:04:41 GMT -6
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Post by joy on Sept 23, 2017 7:04:41 GMT -6
Janigans - I hope this doesn't come out wrong... what kind of adoption will this be? Open? Semi- open? Closed?
I would honor her wish with the name Carly and then pair it with a name that you like. The order is up to you.
As for what you would call her day-to-day, it would depend on so many factors for me.
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Sept 23, 2017 10:14:13 GMT -6
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Post by seamonster on Sept 23, 2017 10:14:13 GMT -6
Depending on the last name Katherine Carly flows well.
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Sept 24, 2017 15:13:51 GMT -6
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Post by cabbagecabbage on Sept 24, 2017 15:13:51 GMT -6
Carly comes fromCharles, as do Carla, Charlotte, Caroline, Carol. You could go with any of those as a first or middle and have a leg to stand on that they are a nod to Carly. That said, I know a few families who've adopted and they all either changed their newborn's entire name or used the birth mother's input on a middle name. I don't know how it works in each case but my friend who has adopted twice had the original birth certificate where the birth moms each named the baby and then another birth certificate was issued after the adoption was complete with their new names. I think it's very nice if you to consider the birth mom in this but there are many ways to honor her ideas where you don't have to call you child a name you don't like.
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Sept 25, 2017 23:03:05 GMT -6
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Post by Deleted on Sept 25, 2017 23:03:05 GMT -6
Congrats! I would give it some time. Wait until you find out the sex and then go from there.
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Sept 26, 2017 18:43:08 GMT -6
Post by oliversbear on Sept 26, 2017 18:43:08 GMT -6
I don't want to create a new post, but I just found a smoosh name that I actually love. Oliviana (O-liv-ee-ahn-uh). Am I crazy? I'm anti younique names, but I really like it. It's not terrible. I'm not a fan of Olive/Olivia names, but if you like it, use it.
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Post by alwayscheese on Sept 26, 2017 20:11:44 GMT -6
I don't want to create a new post, but I just found a smoosh name that I actually love. Oliviana (O-liv-ee-ahn-uh). Am I crazy? I'm anti younique names, but I really like it. I'm anti unique and smoosh names also, but I definitely see the appeal! I kinda like it, but personally wouldn't actually use it.
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hangry
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Sept 27, 2017 7:58:55 GMT -6
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Post by hangry on Sept 27, 2017 7:58:55 GMT -6
I really like Ada Caroline. I also really like Olive. Both underused but lovely and familiar names.
Can't wait for you to find out the sex!
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otters
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Sept 28, 2017 22:54:24 GMT -6
Post by otters on Sept 28, 2017 22:54:24 GMT -6
@jananigans, I have Ada Caroline on my own list (not that my list will be used anytime soon), but I just wanted to mention how much I love it.
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Post by alwayscheese on Sept 29, 2017 12:06:41 GMT -6
She is not budging on this name. She said since she's giving her baby to us, she should get to name it. I've been looking forward to naming this child for years. I'm really upset over it. I'm sorry! I think I get how disappointing that would be for you. I wish I had good advice.
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Post by charlotte on Sept 29, 2017 14:04:45 GMT -6
I don’t know what to say @jananigans but I’m sorry, this sounds really tough.
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Sept 29, 2017 17:43:33 GMT -6
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Post by reginaphalange8 on Sept 29, 2017 17:43:33 GMT -6
I was going to say to put Carly in the middle name spot and choose your first name of birth mom won't see the birth certificate but I'm now feeling like that would be a huge breach of trust.
I would go with Caroline as a first and then what you will call as the middle. For example Caroline Ada. Birth mom can call her Carly but you can call her Ada. A lot of people go by their middle name.
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joy
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Sept 30, 2017 7:11:29 GMT -6
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Post by joy on Sept 30, 2017 7:11:29 GMT -6
This sounds very complicated and delicate, Jananigans.
I still think you should use Carly and pair it with a name that you like. Birth mom is free to call her Carly and you can call her your choice if your choose. Pet names from different adult figures in a child's life is not unusual.
::hugs::
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Sept 30, 2017 23:14:59 GMT -6
Post by oliversbear on Sept 30, 2017 23:14:59 GMT -6
I prefer the flow of Caroline Katherine, especially if you are pronouncing it Caro-LINE rather than Caro-LYN. Either is a good option though. And I never really notice rhyming or similar sounds/letters in names. Most of my friends have same letter initials and one had nothing but C's. In high school we called her C3 and then she got married to a man with a C last name and we started calling her C4.
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hangry
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Oct 2, 2017 18:14:46 GMT -6
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Post by hangry on Oct 2, 2017 18:14:46 GMT -6
I think your naming restrictions add an extra level of complications. Both of those names and who theyre honoring sound wonderful.
Either order sounds fine to me.
I would try to wait a little longer before discussing it again. Maybe she will have a little more acceptance as the idea of going with adoption settles in more.
God this is complicated. I'm sorry you have to deal with this.
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hangry
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Oct 3, 2017 5:52:05 GMT -6
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Post by hangry on Oct 3, 2017 5:52:05 GMT -6
I definitely don't think you're overreacting. How much time does the average couple spend talking about names and giving opinions and saying no before finally agreeing on something?
And I remember all the threads you've posted and the interest you've taken in finding culturally appropriate names for future children. Don't feel bad. Just keep trying to find something that works.
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Post by helloerrbody on Oct 4, 2017 6:01:00 GMT -6
I think your naming restrictions add an extra level of complications. Both of those names and who theyre honoring sound wonderful. Either order sounds fine to me. I would try to wait a little longer before discussing it again. Maybe she will have a little more acceptance as the idea of going with adoption settles in more. God this is complicated. I'm sorry you have to deal with this. Yeah. I'm definitely not bringing it up. I'll take my cues from her. It is tough. A lot of my friends thing I'm overreacting to get so upset over a name, and maybe I am. Names are so important to me, and this is our last baby. We're definitely using Catherine in the name somewhere. It's been at the top of our list for years. Caroline is definitely growing on me. In my head, I've been calling the baby CC. I think that's adorable. I would feel the same as you in this situation. It seems like a fair compromise to me to name her Caroline and the birth mother can call her Carly. Maybe play up to her that it'll be extra special for her to have a special nickname for her...!? It still could be a boy though, right? Does the birth mother have a boy name she wants used?
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joy
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Oct 6, 2017 12:42:53 GMT -6
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Post by joy on Oct 6, 2017 12:42:53 GMT -6
Congrats on the baby boy!!
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Lormor
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Oct 7, 2017 6:29:30 GMT -6
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Post by Lormor on Oct 7, 2017 6:29:30 GMT -6
Congratulations! I’m so glad the name turned out easier.
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hangry
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Oct 7, 2017 8:02:17 GMT -6
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Post by hangry on Oct 7, 2017 8:02:17 GMT -6
I just saw the name update. I love love love Samuel! So happy it's an easy agreement!
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Post by alwayscheese on Oct 7, 2017 19:02:37 GMT -6
Oh seeing the update, I wasn't too like your post again! That's great!
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