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Post by kensie5226 on Sept 15, 2017 6:16:50 GMT -6
How is everyone doing emotionally? What's the last thing that made you react in an irrationally pregnant way?
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Post by kensie5226 on Sept 15, 2017 6:18:01 GMT -6
I lost it when I had to hold E down and give her antibiotics. I don't like forcing my kid to do anything and she screamed bloody murder. Ugh. Thankfully she seems to be starting to make the connection that medicine makes her feel better and has been good about taking it on her own.
Also I ate about 40 mini-tootsie pops in the last two days, so there's that.
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Post by cakewench on Sept 15, 2017 7:39:50 GMT -6
This morning. Today was one of the few days H and I can go into work together, but I had to be in early for a PT appointment at 8. I reminded him multiple times, so where are we at 7:40? Pulling out of the driveway, me calling to tell them I'll be late and H swearing we'll be fine. I'm like, uh no, we won't. Maybe if it were still summer (DC traffic is much lighter in the summer, but once Labor Day hits is back to normal). Then H decides to take a different route, swearing it will be faster.
Spoiler alert: It was not faster.
I was so late and such a mess emotionally for my appointment we could only do half of it (thankfully they only charged me half too), and now I have to go back Monday since we couldn't really accomplish anything today.
Oh and apparently Au Bon Pain discontinued their onion dill bagel, so my stress eating breakfast sandwich is sub par. First world problems...
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jenn83
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Post by jenn83 on Sept 15, 2017 8:00:23 GMT -6
Emotionally, I am a little all over the place.
***Loss warning***
A friend just delivered her baby at 32 weeks and lost her 2 days later. They could never get her blood pressure up and there was some type of ph imbalance in her blood that they could not explain. While I am not particularly close to this person, H used to be really close to her family. After we lost T, she was very forward about raising awareness and money for childhood cancer. She has reached out to me knowing that I have lost a child and she feels she can talk to me. My heart goes out to her. Then with better news, another friend just had a baby girl last night!
***Trigger End***
I know I have done a lot of irrational things lately, because H calls them out. But my pregnancy brain is obviously getting to me because I can't remember a single one. Haha.
On the bright side, I am hoping to get a prenatal message today. First message ever! Hopefully, it will help with my sciatic nerve pain.
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jrun2013
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Post by jrun2013 on Sept 15, 2017 8:35:55 GMT -6
Ugh, I'm not sure you want me to go here, I'm not a happy camper lately.
TW Going back to work has been hard and exhausting, emotionally more so than physically. The past few days I hold myself together then lose it when I get home. The more pregnant I get, the more emotional I get. Simultaneously I miss DD2 so much and I am constantly afraid something is going to happen to this baby, so yeah, hot mess express over here.
I'm on my lunch break at work and just saw a student who said, "omg, you're pregnant? Again?" Um, yes, I'm certainly not still pregnant from the last time.
End TW
Anyway, no hair pats or advice needed, I just felt like venting.
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jrun2013
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Post by jrun2013 on Sept 15, 2017 8:37:50 GMT -6
jenn83 I'm sorry to hear about your friend's baby. That's the same gestation DD2 was at when I lost her.
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jrun2013
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Post by jrun2013 on Sept 15, 2017 8:39:17 GMT -6
cakewench I hate when something like that gets discontinued or is unavailable. I went to get bagels the other day and they didn't have the kind I wanted so I got something else that I didn't enjoy nearly as much.
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typo31
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Post by typo31 on Sept 15, 2017 9:54:53 GMT -6
kensie5226 - that doesn't sound like irrational pregnancy feels, it sounds like a truly terrible moment with you poor girl! I'm sorry you had to go through it. cakewench - Uggghhhh being trapped in a car with someone who has just made you be late. The silent resentment is so LOUD. jenn83 and jrun2013 - your losses hurt my heart to hear. I'm so very sorry. Last night my husband woke me up several times to tell me I was snoring. After a few of these I got super irritated and moved to go sleep in the guest room, but this made him feel guilty and promised it was no biggie and he would deal...and then proceeded to keep doing the same shit and waking me up twice more. I laid awake from 3-4 being unable to sleep and super pissed off at him. Then at 5:30 he got up and left for an early flight (gone for the weekend) and I cried hysterically because I'll miss him. Sigh.
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Post by kensie5226 on Sept 15, 2017 10:29:01 GMT -6
cakewench, oh sigh how I miss summer traffic. For every 5 minutes I leave late, it is no joke and extra 10-15 minutes of traffic. This place sucks.
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Post by kensie5226 on Sept 15, 2017 10:35:06 GMT -6
typo31, MH did that to me during my first pregnancy. He even recorded it. I was like tough shit I'm pregnant and you snore every night. Here are some ear plugs or you can sleep elsewhere. He's lukcy you didn't punch him. jrun2013, jenn83, that sucks and I'm sorry you have to hurt that way.
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Post by officedronette on Sept 15, 2017 11:41:21 GMT -6
I'm having a lot of feels. I have had issues with Anxiety and Depression for more than half of my life, though they've been mostly manageable for the last decade or so. That said, I'm having a serious uptick in symptoms that means I get to find a new therapist (since I didn't find a provider down here when I moved last summer because I've been stable/fine without regular treatment). Which, woof. Hopefully I can find someone decent. The GD has me anxious - I had a really bad day yesterday in terms of sugars, but I had been using my old monitor. I was able to pick up the new one last night, and the readings were 7 apart, with the monitor 7 higher. Assuming a consistent misread 7 points higher, my bad day yesterday was actually only two partial fails, as opposed to two fails and a partial fail. So hopefully things are ok. If not, I'm going to have to call on Monday to be seen sooner. I'm nervous about the potential for complications, and I'm also just sad/stressed/pouty about the fact that my diet is already restricted being GF, and being pregnant, and now there's a whole new set of things that I need to be conscious of. And I'm an emotional eater, and I can't just go talk to cupcakes about this for obvious reasons. The only good thing, assuming its like last time, is that I didn't gain any weight in the end of pregnancy because of the stupid diet, and actually down-ticked a little from where I was - so if there's any silver lining to this, it's that I won't be able to indulge my worst food impulses meaning that I won't have to work even harder/longer to get back to a normal post-pregnancy weight. typo31, I don't care who is snoring, the non-pregnant person leaves the preferred bed/bedroom. jrun2013, jenn83, I'm so sorry. Those are both tough situations to cope with, and jenn83, I can imagine it's hard to have the resources to try to support this person given where we are in our own pregnancies. jrun2013, WTAH to your student? I'm assuming they know your daughter was stillborn. Why on earth people are so tactless I will never understand. Unless you teach elementary/middle school. Or high schoolers are less emotionally developed than I remember.
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jenn83
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Post by jenn83 on Sept 15, 2017 11:56:03 GMT -6
Thank you officedronette, kensie5226, typo31, and jrun2013 - I am happy that I can help her in a way not many can but it def makes me stop to think which my already loss brain makes me. Random officedronette - looking at your siggie, our rainbow babies are exactly 1 year apart! HK was due 7/14/16 and her birthday is 7/8/16
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jrun2013
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Post by jrun2013 on Sept 15, 2017 12:13:10 GMT -6
typo31 pregnancy snoring is no joke. I wouldn't mind if MH went in the guest room, he'd sleep better since I take up about 2/3rds of the bed with all my pillows and snore like crazy. But then he doesn't and is always tired.
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jrun2013
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Post by jrun2013 on Sept 15, 2017 12:16:58 GMT -6
officedronette yep, my student is a high school senior and she knows what happened. She did say congratulations and squee so I know she means well, just kind of annoying. I'm sorry you're having problems with your anxiety. I hope you can get in with a therapist soon.
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Post by kensie5226 on Sept 15, 2017 13:32:38 GMT -6
officedronette, anxiety is a bitch. I tried to go off my Zoloft, but it didn't go well so my OB told me since it's such a low dose and well understood drug there was no reason to stop taking it. I'm thankful b/c I know how easily I can spiral.
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Post by sarahandben108 on Sept 15, 2017 17:55:20 GMT -6
Hugs to all those who need them today.
A few weeks ago N burned his hand. It wasn't a terrible burn but enough that he cried for a long time. Once we were able to get him comfortable and we could tell the burn was bad but not enough that warranted a trip to the doctors, I started crying. I was so upset he was so upset and that he had gotten hurt. My crying caused N to start to cry again. I tried to reassure him that I was just crying because I was so sad that he was hurt. Even a few weeks later he tells me I can't cry anymore if he gets hurt. He was very bothered to see me cry.
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Waffle
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Post by Waffle on Sept 18, 2017 2:49:58 GMT -6
Hugs everyone.
Mine is really nothing compared to what others have posted but I had a wobbly moment yesterday when I basically peed myself during a sneeze.
Luckily I was at home in pjs but that was enough to make me cry for the next half hour.
You did ask for unreasonable...
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Post by sarahandben108 on Sept 18, 2017 7:27:28 GMT -6
Peeing oneself is definitely cry worthy in my opinion Waffle. It's more of a reminder that you don't have as much control over your body anymore than the actual act. I have another. Yesterday was rough for me. For my first pregnancy my H was a rockstar. He was so supportive and helpful. He rubbed my feet without being asked, rubbed my back, and brought me things when I needed them. This time around he has been the biggest douche. I can complain about my feet bothering me 20 times in front of him and he doesn't lift a finger to help or to rub them. Yesterday, I was talking to my mom right in front of him about how my hips have been bad and my BH have made bending over difficult. I was saying this as I was folding laundry. Do you think my H would stop watching the football game, help me fold the laundry, and help me put it away? NOPE. I did it all. I could have asked him to help and he would have without complaining. But I want him to offer. So I brought the laundry upstairs, put it all away, and ugly cried in frustration.
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Post by officedronette on Sept 18, 2017 7:42:46 GMT -6
sarahandben108, believe me, I understand wanting your partner to offer, but that gets you 0/2, whereas if you were to ask, hopefully you'd at least get the help you want/need. I used to struggle with this one and let it go a few years ago, and my husband calls me out on being passive aggressive if I want something by not asking directly (like saying a light is bothering me, instead of asking him directly to turn a light off). It makes life go much more smoothly to tell your partner directly what you need and want. I don't like asking for help, but I like it more than I like bending over at this point. I had to ask him last night if he could look in the freezer and tell me what ice cream flavors we had, because I just didn't want to bend over again, as we were both standing right in front of the freezer. It felt fairly pathetic, but still not as bad as bending over. You could also tell him, when you don't need something from him, that you really appreciate when he offers to do something for you, or even if he just asks if there is anything he CAN do for you to help since pregnancy is hard. That way you can give him a chance to express his love in the way you want to receive it, but it isn't putting as much pressure on him to pick up on less direct cues when you really need help in the moment. I don't know what your relationship is like not pregnant, but if you're a take-charge can-do sort of person, he might not want to be making you feel weak by taking tasks away from you?
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Post by sarahandben108 on Sept 18, 2017 7:57:51 GMT -6
Thanks officedronette. I actually have mentioned to him before that I would appreciate an offer without me having to ask. And when I do ask he does it without complaint. He'll make comments to N about how mummy is tired and how difficult it is for me to move around and he needs to be gentle with me. And I don't complain often about things in general so I am sure he thinks because I am quiet everything must be ok. But other times I'm like, really dude? I just complained my feet are killing me 20 times and you don't offer to wash the kid so I can sit down? I know I can say to him: Here, you are doing bath time tonight and walk away. I just would like him to be a little aware of what I am saying and without me needing to nag him to take over. If that makes sense.
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Post by officedronette on Sept 18, 2017 8:26:28 GMT -6
sarahandben108 - it does. But I'd urge you to not consider it "nagging" to make a direct request. You're communicating/delegating. I think it's harmful when we get into these gendered roles where a woman is nagging if she's asking or a man is a jerk if he doesn't just offer. I guess I just don't see how it's helpful to complain about what's hurting you without just directly asking "could you please handle bath so I'm not in pain?" I know if the roles were reversed I'd be really irritated if my husband were just complaining and wasn't telling me how he'd like me to help. (This was actually our last fight, because it was exhausting me to be constantly hearing about how tired/sick he felt.)
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Post by BlahBlahGinger on Sept 18, 2017 9:03:52 GMT -6
Barista at Starbucks very cheerfully told me this morning- hey, you're almost done! Grr- 10 more weeks is not almost.
This happened like 2 hours ago and I'm still angry and depressed about it. Why do I care so much about a stray remark from a stranger?!
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Post by kensie5226 on Sept 18, 2017 9:14:54 GMT -6
BlahBlahGinger, it feels like a long time when it's you. sarahandben108, I'm with officedronette, life is so much easier when both parties ask for what they want. I have to remind MH of this fairly often b/c he's passive agressive and expects me to know read his mind. On the same hand it is kind of mentally exhausting to be the one who has to remember everything all the time and it would be helpful if he could ease that mental load. Maybe you could put it like that. It would be him "fixing" a mental/emotional burden on you if he could anticipate the things than may need to be done. I keep overdoing it. I don't like admitting that I can't physically do the things that I want to do.
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rooskie
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Post by rooskie on Sept 18, 2017 10:47:19 GMT -6
I cried this weekend because we have to do our maternity pictures before our photographers do a full day of family shoots and I didn't know where they would be that day for scheduling and I wanted a specific location.
I found out the next day they will be taking them where I wanted to have them done. We still have to get the pictures taken at 8 am on a Sunday, but they're charging us $50 for two hours, we get digital copies, and unlimited outfit changes. The rest of the day they are charging $75 for half an hour with digital and 3 prints.
I think we will be coming out ahead in this deal.
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jrun2013
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Post by jrun2013 on Sept 18, 2017 12:31:00 GMT -6
Barista at Starbucks very cheerfully told me this morning- hey, you're almost done! Grr- 10 more weeks is not almost. This happened like 2 hours ago and I'm still angry and depressed about it. Why do I care so much about a stray remark from a stranger?! Lol, the barista to me said yesterday "how much time do you have left?" Me: December. Her: oh. Yeah, I have quite a large baby bump. Oh well.
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jrun2013
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Post by jrun2013 on Sept 18, 2017 12:33:00 GMT -6
I fully admit I make MH do a lot of extras right now. He's more than willing, but if he doesn't pick up on something, I just ask. I agree that direct communication is best and asking YH to do something isn't nagging.
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Waffle
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Post by Waffle on Sept 19, 2017 6:56:46 GMT -6
sarahandben108, exactly! And I'm a bit of a control freak, which doesn't help. Also commiserations on the H issue. I do think men tend to be much more oblivious to hints and clues so directly asking might very well be the only sure way to get help. It's definitely not nagging, he's part of this whole process and needs to give you the help/support you need.
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Post by sarahandben108 on Sept 19, 2017 7:19:16 GMT -6
Barista at Starbucks very cheerfully told me this morning- hey, you're almost done! Grr- 10 more weeks is not almost. This happened like 2 hours ago and I'm still angry and depressed about it. Why do I care so much about a stray remark from a stranger?! Lol, the barista to me said yesterday "how much time do you have left?" Me: December. Her: oh. Yeah, I have quite a large baby bump. Oh well. Everyday someone tells me I've "popped". I've been popped for quite a while now. Definitely the waddling has begun! lol.
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jenn83
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Post by jenn83 on Sept 19, 2017 8:16:05 GMT -6
sarahandben108 H and I had a huge fight this weekend about this. We went to a party, he doesn't help with our 14 month old - he will if I ask, but doesn't offer. So here I am 7 months pregnant wrangling and feeding a 14 month old at a pool party. So. Much. Fun. Well I confronted later in the evening and I got the I'm not a mind reader. I got over it because I know I just need to ask, but I have a head cold and am just tired so it rubbed me wrong. Pregnancy insomnia has hit. I need sleep. Combined with a head cold and HK who needed a bath this morning due to an explosion. I need sleep.
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Post by ldubhawksfan on Sept 19, 2017 10:08:05 GMT -6
My brother's wife left him while he was at training/drill so things are a mess with my family and I'm having all sorts of feels for him and my neices, and lots of anger at her.
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