Open letters to your child

[nikkipal]

You know what to do.

[nikkipal]

Dear M,
You are almost 3.5. 3 wake ups overnight is not cool. Mama doesn't want to rejoin the MOTN thread right now. Also, getting up at 4am and helping yourself to mini muffins, then eating them in my bed is also not cool. No one likes a crumby bed. Not that I stopped you, bc it was FOUR IN THE MORNING. Love you.

-Your sleepy mama

[Dramaphile]

Dear Nugget,

Please go the f*** to sleep.

Love,
Mommy and Daddy last night from 2-5am.

[Dramaphile]

Dear Husband,

Reminding me at 3am that "I thought you were working on weaning her" when she starts asking for milk and has already been awake for like an hour and I have to work in the morning is not helpful. Tonight is not the night for me to hold my ground when she has a cold and is cranky and nothing seems to be helping to put her back to sleep. Not that the boob helped anyway at that point, but you are lucky I didn't smother you with a pillow.

No love,
Me.

[rugger]

Dear A,

Please tone down the banshee screaming when you don't get your way. I don't want someone to think I'm trying to abduct you. For real.

Love,
Mommy

[milano]

Dear M,
Why are you such a weird pooper? Why do you prefer to poop in your car seat? This adds a whole new level of anxiety to leaving the house.

However I do appreciate the reliability of you only going in your car seat, even though you broke that this morning by waking up to a back and bed full of poop which I only discovered after I picked you up and give you a giant hug. Warm goo at 6am is pretty startling.

Love,
Your mommy.

[mapleme]

Dear C,

Please, please, PLEASE give me back my 5-6 am hour. I realize that you would like to be nursing for the entirety of that hour and that point is really driven home by your ear splitting wails that wake the whole house. But OMG, I want to wake up in my own bed someday.

So much love,
Mom

[critter015]

Dear O,

I'm really glad you like the Sureride carseat, but I absolutely hate it and I want you to use the Marathon instead. I promise it fits you better, it is easier for you to buckle and unbuckle, the straps don't get twisted or uneven, the cover is soft and doesn't look stained and dirty all the time, and it fits nicer in the car. Please quit throwing a screaming fit every time we get in the car and just give it a chance.

Love,
Your Frustrated Mom who regrets ever buying the Sureride

P.S. Why does your room smell like dead thing?

[sassyq]

Dear daughter's,
For the love of God, please sleep past 7 am! Mommy really needs time alone to start the day, and since you dont go to bed before 9, don't like to nap and don't sleep through the night, staying in your room til at least 7 would be the best gift you could give me! Please girls, please, tired, pregnant, already not sleeping well mama needs a break!

[stringy]

Dear Stringykids,

You are both perfect unicorn children. Bless you.

Love,
Your grandparents and teachers