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Post by jubilantsquirrel on Sept 14, 2017 9:51:21 GMT -6
Any of the STMs here have a shy or slow to warm up kid? If so any tips or tricks for me? In our house M's personality is hilarious but take her anywhere that she gets attention on her and she shuts down. This is DS1. I don't have any tricks at all. He has so much personality at home but doesn't really interact with anyone outside of the house. He might say Hi, but that's about as far as it goes.
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waitwhat
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Post by waitwhat on Sept 14, 2017 9:52:28 GMT -6
Anyone have a fool proof method for getting rid of fruit flies? They are awful this year. I have a mason jar filled with rotting fruit on my counter that a few are trapped in. But just as I think I've trapped them all, there's about 10 more sitting on the mason jar or flying around my kitchen. We have little bowls with red wine, apple cider vinegar, and dawn dish soap all around our kitchen. Those little shits were everywhere. The dawn makes them sink as soon as they hit the liquid. So I have to waste red wine for this?
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tgrimes
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Post by tgrimes on Sept 14, 2017 9:52:30 GMT -6
Am I the only one that honestly doesn't care what other people's houses look like? When they're too clean they make me feel like shit about myself. Lol. I don't ever judge someone's house, and also prefer it if it's a little messy. But I'm always afraid of people judging my house. Probably because my mom and grandma always judge my house. And also clutter in my home makes me anxious. I don't know why. I grew up in a house that looked like a museum. My mother was crazy about cleaning and still is. So where people come to my house I go crazy beforehand. My mother wipes the sink dry every time she uses it because she doesn't want water spots. No, I'm not kidding.
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tgrimes
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Post by tgrimes on Sept 14, 2017 9:52:49 GMT -6
We have little bowls with red wine, apple cider vinegar, and dawn dish soap all around our kitchen. Those little shits were everywhere. The dawn makes them sink as soon as they hit the liquid. So I have to waste red wine for this? NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
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waitwhat
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Post by waitwhat on Sept 14, 2017 9:53:30 GMT -6
sophiegrace M is still shy when we get around new people. My SIL took her to a nursing home (her friend works there) and all of the residents were ooing and awing over her. She was embarassed and wouldn't talk to any of them. This surprises me. I picture her being a little spitfire towards anyone she meets!
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tgrimes
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Post by tgrimes on Sept 14, 2017 9:54:33 GMT -6
sophiegrace M is still shy when we get around new people. My SIL took her to a nursing home (her friend works there) and all of the residents were ooing and awing over her. She was embarassed and wouldn't talk to any of them. This surprises me. I picture her being a little spitfire towards anyone she meets! I know, it's really weird.
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dashook
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Post by dashook on Sept 14, 2017 9:56:22 GMT -6
DS has always been sweet and outgoing around everyone. Never shy, super-affectionate, total ham.
D is...not. She isn't *shy* around new people per se. She's just completely unimpressed. The RBF is strong with this one.
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Post by jubilantsquirrel on Sept 14, 2017 9:57:45 GMT -6
I don't ever judge someone's house, and also prefer it if it's a little messy. But I'm always afraid of people judging my house. Probably because my mom and grandma always judge my house. And also clutter in my home makes me anxious. I don't know why. I grew up in a house that looked like a museum. My mother was crazy about cleaning and still is. So where people come to my house I go crazy beforehand. My mother wipes the sink dry every time she uses it because she doesn't want water spots. No, I'm not kidding. Well that's next level. If she ever came over to my house I would be so paranoid that I would probably have to hire a cleaning person to deep clean everything.
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Post by jubilantsquirrel on Sept 14, 2017 9:58:39 GMT -6
We have little bowls with red wine, apple cider vinegar, and dawn dish soap all around our kitchen. Those little shits were everywhere. The dawn makes them sink as soon as they hit the liquid. So I have to waste red wine for this? I did this but without the red wine. Just apple cider vinegar and dawn soap. It worked, but it took a while.
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tgrimes
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Post by tgrimes on Sept 14, 2017 10:00:12 GMT -6
I grew up in a house that looked like a museum. My mother was crazy about cleaning and still is. So where people come to my house I go crazy beforehand. My mother wipes the sink dry every time she uses it because she doesn't want water spots. No, I'm not kidding. Well that's next level. If she ever came over to my house I would be so paranoid that I would probably have to hire a cleaning person to deep clean everything. She also cleans the toilet with a washcloth. I never thought that was weird but N13 says it is so ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
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danib
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Post by danib on Sept 14, 2017 10:09:27 GMT -6
I've gone to client's houses with my job. As long as your house isn't gross, I really don't care what it looks like. There's a huge difference between messy and dirty.
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Post by goldenlove on Sept 14, 2017 10:11:57 GMT -6
The level of mess I allowed people to see got pretty high last year while I was pregnant or dealing with a NB. I had people over constantly while we were redoing our bathroom and I did not have energy to clean. It was leaves all over the floor and dog hair covering the rug bad. I usually try to keep the floor and bathrooms clean if someone is coming over.
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Post by goldenlove on Sept 14, 2017 10:12:25 GMT -6
Well that's next level. If she ever came over to my house I would be so paranoid that I would probably have to hire a cleaning person to deep clean everything. She also cleans the toilet with a washcloth.  I never thought that was weird but N13 says it is so ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ That sounds really weird...
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Post by jubilantsquirrel on Sept 14, 2017 10:13:09 GMT -6
Well that's next level. If she ever came over to my house I would be so paranoid that I would probably have to hire a cleaning person to deep clean everything. She also cleans the toilet with a washcloth. I never thought that was weird but N13 says it is so ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ Like the inside of the toilet? I use rags to clean the outside, but they're like the bar rags and not the washcloths I use in the shower.
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tgrimes
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Post by tgrimes on Sept 14, 2017 10:14:12 GMT -6
She also cleans the toilet with a washcloth. I never thought that was weird but N13 says it is so ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ Like the inside of the toilet? I use rags to clean the outside, but they're like the bar rags and not the washcloths I use in the shower. The inside. She doesn't use a toilet brush.
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Post by flamingo on Sept 14, 2017 10:18:20 GMT -6
In the mean time I'm trying to keep my house clean and organized. The therapists said they don't care how clean your house is but they are lying through their teeth and I know it. Haha. If it makes you feel better, my sister is a traveling SLP and has homes where she brings a blanket to sit on (the "speech blanket") because the floors are so nasty. I highly doubt your house is at that level--in fact, yours is probably a relief for the therapist! They see alllllll kinds!
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waitwhat
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Post by waitwhat on Sept 14, 2017 10:18:30 GMT -6
Like the inside of the toilet? I use rags to clean the outside, but they're like the bar rags and not the washcloths I use in the shower. The inside. Â She doesn't use a toilet brush. What does she do when she's done with them?
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Post by jubilantsquirrel on Sept 14, 2017 10:18:58 GMT -6
I've gone to client's houses with my job. As long as your house isn't gross, I really don't care what it looks like. There's a huge difference between messy and dirty. My mom always made me feel like I was the dirtiest person alive when I was growing up. Looking back, I definitely lived in a state of organized chaos, but I wasn't dirty at all. My room was messy, no doubt, but it was all clothes and books and magazine. I didn't eat in my room, so it's like I had moldy bread laying around or anything. Mostly I was just way too busy being a social butterfly and not learning about the Mason-Dixon Line to worry about picking up my room.
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waitwhat
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Post by waitwhat on Sept 14, 2017 10:27:39 GMT -6
I've gone to client's houses with my job. As long as your house isn't gross, I really don't care what it looks like. There's a huge difference between messy and dirty. My mom always made me feel like I was the dirtiest person alive when I was growing up. Looking back, I definitely lived in a state of organized chaos, but I wasn't dirty at all. My room was messy, no doubt, but it was all clothes and books and magazine. I didn't eat in my room, so it's like I had moldy bread laying around or anything. Mostly I was just way too busy being a social butterfly and not learning about the Mason-Dixon Line to worry about picking up my room. omg yes! And my mom was a freak. Like she vacuumed because she liked the lines in the rug. And we couldn't poop in the downstairs bathroom in case company was coming over.
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Post by goldenlove on Sept 14, 2017 10:41:19 GMT -6
My mom's house was always spotless too. She cleaned the house everyday. She's lightening up now since C is always there making a mess. She has a living room that we were never allowed to sit in too and a lot of breakable stuff that she needs to get rid of. She actually just texted me a picture of him grabbing picture frames lol.
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tgrimes
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Post by tgrimes on Sept 14, 2017 10:42:08 GMT -6
The inside. Â She doesn't use a toilet brush. What does she do when she's done with them? She washes them and reuses them for the toilet. She has designated washcloths for the toilet, some for the bath tubs, some for the sinks, some for the baseboards...
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Post by flamingo on Sept 14, 2017 10:43:35 GMT -6
How's this for psycho? My dad's mom would vacuum and then use a broom to sweep over the vacuum marks.
True story.
She also had a comb that she would use on the rug fringe--or give to one of the grandkids to do it as some sort of weird special privilege. 🙄
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Post by flamingo on Sept 14, 2017 10:50:59 GMT -6
Also, hi!
DH leaves for his fishing trip in an hour so I'm trying to get stuff done before then, when we'll go into survival mode.
We have a play date with our friends this afternoon and leftovers ready to go for dinner.
ETA: seriously, fml. DH just said his buddy's flight is early (natch) and the guys who are driving in are late, so he's going to bring his friend back here after he picks him up at the airport while they wait for the others. Speaking of messy houses...
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Post by jubilantsquirrel on Sept 14, 2017 11:01:28 GMT -6
Also, hi! DH leaves for his fishing trip in an hour so I'm trying to get stuff done before then, when we'll go into survival mode. We have a play date with our friends this afternoon and leftovers ready to go for dinner. ETA: seriously, fml. DH just said his buddy's flight is early (natch) and the guys who are driving in are late, so he's going to bring his friend back here after he picks him up at the airport while they wait for the others. Speaking of messy houses... This is my worst fear! I get all the anxiety when this happens.
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hangry
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Post by hangry on Sept 14, 2017 11:08:10 GMT -6
Way late, but I chuckled when you said you had to size up J's diaper waitwhat. There's not much room left for you to size up with him! O is a shy guy. When he moved to his current preschool room, he wouldn't participate in the weekly dance class they had because, I assume, to much risk for attention on and judging of him. I just saw a picture the other day of him dancing with the group. I smiled. As for tips to address it, I think it's just personality. I try to encourage polite behaviour. Hellos and goodbyes. And looking people in the eye. But otherwise, if he isn't comfortable around new people, so be it. Re: messy houses. I grew up in a messy house. My mom worked and was involved in eleventy billion boosters and clubs to be bothered with housework. I work really hard to maintain cleanliness now but sometimes I just don't know how because I never learned! I need to just bite the bullet and hire and regular cleaner.
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kleigh
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Post by kleigh on Sept 14, 2017 11:11:52 GMT -6
I definitely have major issues because of the clutter/overstuffed house I lived in growing up. Also I imagine it was hard for my mom to clean up after 6 kids constantly.
As a result I would 100% throw out every single thing I "own" that I don't use on a daily basis - keep just like hair dryer, toothbrush, mirror, etc if H would go with it. I can't stand "things", I can't mentally tolerate things that are unnecessary or extra, and I absolutely cannot stand a sink with dishes in it - I get anxiety thinking about it. H on the other hand is a keeper. I wish I knew that going into the relationship lol - it was well hidden bc he lived with his parents so he was always at my place, therefore I never saw his habits until we lived together.
Also he used to give me shit bc I won't use chemicals to clean - it bothers my asthma so I would only use natural ones etc. He'd insist that bc MIL was a cleaning lady that the house needed to be spotless to a white glove when she'd come over so we almost never had her over.
If you could only see her house now 😦...14 yo SIL leaves her daily McDs bags and Starbucks cups strewn about bathroom and bedroom, plates of half eaten food in living room, etc. I haven't seen the bathroom clean in months it's usually covered in dirty towels that SIL just tossed in, forget the hamper is right there in the linen closet, hair dye and various products, cords of hair tools, makeup stains on the counters, you name it - it is horrendous.. I get bothered having to use the bathroom
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Post by sophiegrace on Sept 14, 2017 11:17:15 GMT -6
Thanks everyone for chiming in about all these little personalities. I *know* I'm not doing anything wrong but sometimes those feelings kick in because they're assholes. I want her to have fun and enjoy herself and I hate that she just sits there and clings to me when all these other kids are bursting at the seams with excitement.
Re: cleaning. I'm not next level clean like some of these moms and grandmas but I do like to keep my house as close to guest ready as possible. Between the dogs and my walking tornado of an H I've just gotten used to just automatically picking up and putting away, vacuuming, dusting, etc. The pantry is my area of deep shame. It looks like a bomb went off.
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Post by flamingo on Sept 14, 2017 11:17:49 GMT -6
I try to keep the kids' bedrooms neat and common spaces (kitchen, living/dining rooms, family room) tidy, and at least the guest bathroom clean. That was easier at our old house bc the guest bathroom was separate--here our third bath is the pool bath and is off the laundry room, so I wouldn't actually send guests in there (B calls it 'the secret potty'). In this house guests and kids share. Not my ideal long-term scenario.
Our bedroom is my bugaboo bc it's where I tend to bring clutter that I'm trying to remove from other rooms. 🙄I make the bed daily but I need to be better. The chair in the corner is my second closet...oops.
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Post by sophiegrace on Sept 14, 2017 11:22:59 GMT -6
Lol kleigh I love throwing stuff away and my H is also the opposite. Every single time he gets a new pair of shoes he wants to keep the box because "it's a good shape to put stuff in" and "you never know". WUT? So I go behind him the next day and recycle it. Repeat for literally everything. Everything.
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Post by goldenlove on Sept 14, 2017 11:35:09 GMT -6
kleigh When I lived with my parents, everything I owned was contained in my bedroom and closet. And my mom did not keep anything besides a couple small boxes of pictures/school projects. It is still shocking to me how much SHIT H has and it's even more shocking what MIL still has at her house. She kept everything. When they moved, we were coming home with boxes and boxes of "H's" stuff from his childhood. I'm pretty sure we have all of his old ninja turtles and cars. I spent a whole day reading his old papers from elementary school (entertaining but really?). Once in a while she will talk about having to clean the basement and how we all have to take stuff home otherwise she's going to throw it away. We tell her to just get rid of it all! We don't know what's down there and we don't need it. I'm pretty sure I saw a NKOTB poster that SIL had in her room 25 years ago.
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