Speedy
Sapphire
Posts: 4,613 Likes: 8,575 
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Post by Speedy on Sept 13, 2017 6:54:17 GMT -6
The Trying to Conceive After a Loss thread is posted once a week (generally on Tuesday) for those of us who have unfortunately experienced a loss. No matter what type of loss you've experienced, from miscarriage to stillbirth to the loss of a child, it is heartbreaking. This thread is to help us commiserate, get support, and to try to navigate trying to conceive, after a loss, every week.
Out of respect to all the ladies here, please add a trigger warning if you decide to talk about any living children and please hide your signature if it contains pictures or tickers of babies or children. We also kindly ask for grads to refrain from commenting in this thread.
If you get a BFP, kindly either spoiler alert it or do not post it here at all.
**If this is your first check-in, and you would like to provide a gtky loss history intro go for it. If not, no worries!**
How are you doing?
Status (TTA, TTC, Benched):
Diagnosis (if applicable):
Updates/questions:
Debbie downer (a place to vent ) :
QOTW : What else is on your desk besides a computer?
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Speedy
Sapphire
Posts: 4,613 Likes: 8,575
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Post by Speedy on Sept 13, 2017 6:59:02 GMT -6
Sorry this is a day late. I had a terrible day yesterday and by the time I got home I just wanted to veg on the couch and not do anything.
How are you doing? Terrible. My anxiety is getting worse again. I cannot wait until I can get to the doctor next week. I spent all day yesterday feeling like a complete and total failure =(
Status (TTA, TTC, Benched): Benched
Diagnosis (if applicable): RPL
Updates/questions: Only benched for one more day. Tomorrow is the big day when the IUD comes out!
Debbie downer (a place to vent ): It's so frustrating that every time I post this, the website puts like a gazillion spaces in between the questions and then I have to go back in and fix it.
QOTW : What else is on your desk besides a computer? My desk is a bit of a mess right now. I have to clean it up. I have a couple of glasses, a coffee cup, some jewelry, and my meds (because it's easier to have them where I'll see them and thus remember to take them)
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notmoose
Amethyst
Posts: 6,457 Likes: 10,896
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Post by notmoose on Sept 13, 2017 10:13:55 GMT -6
How are you doing? I'm okay... My anxiety has ramped up but I'm trying to be ok.
Status (TTA, TTC, Benched): Waiting for af to come and then we will be ttc
Diagnosis (if applicable): N/A
Updates/questions: So, I saw a different doctor (I used to see her and then moved) on Monday. She was amazing and made me feel so much better. I had blood drawn and she tested my sugars, iron, Hcg, liver, and thyroid (she tested all 3). Everything came back normal except one of my thyroid levels is slightly raised. She wants me to come back and retest in a month and if it's still high she will send me to an endocrinologist. Hcg is back to 0.
She also gave me some anxiety meds that I just take when I need them and they are safe for pregnancy if I do conceive again.
Debbie downer (a place to vent ) :
QOTW : What else is on your desk besides a computer?
I sah, so my desk is actually 2 craft tables. 1 for sewing and 1 for all other crafts.
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notmoose
Amethyst
Posts: 6,457 Likes: 10,896
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Post by notmoose on Sept 13, 2017 10:15:16 GMT -6
Speedy I'm sorry you had such a rough day and your anxiety is getting worse. I am in the same boat with my anxiety, so I feel you. Big hugs!
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Post by notelsie on Sept 13, 2017 14:21:34 GMT -6
Speedy, I'm so sorry that you've been dealing with so much anxiety. I can empathize and relate, it's horrible. I'm going to be making an appt somewhere soon myself. I AM SO EXCITED FOR YOU!! No more IUD now, yes?
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Post by notelsie on Sept 13, 2017 14:23:25 GMT -6
notmoose, I'm just seeing that you've been dealing with anxiety as well. I'm so sorry <3 I'm glad most of your levels came back normal, and that your HCG is at zero. I hope AF comes for you soon.
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Post by notelsie on Sept 13, 2017 14:32:28 GMT -6
I haven't been here in forever, I'm sorry! How are you doing? I'm alright, just getting over being sick this weekend. The whole family seems to have caught whatever this is, and it wasn't pleasant. I'm so happy to be feeling a little better. Status (TTA, TTC, Benched): TTC soon! Mixed feels. Diagnosis (if applicable): IR PCOS Updates/questions: I finally made it to an OB since we moved across the country. He put me back on metformin on the 1st, and I am so thankful that seems to be working! After 13+ weeks I started my first period on Monday. It's back with a vengeance, but I'm just so relieved I'm not stuck in my loss cycle anymore. Debbie downer (a place to vent ) : I'm dealing with some anxiety as well, and I've decided it's time to talk to someone. I just want to feel normal more often than not. All the crap we've been through the last several years, especially recently has done a number on me. QOTW : What else is on your desk besides a computer? I don't have a desk. I use my phone or laptop on the couch generally  My desktop is currently packed up while we live with family. OH!! I forgot to put this in the updates so I'll put it here... We haven't had our own home since 2015, and we are under contract for a house pending the inspection that happened on Monday!!! We are finally going to have space, privacy, and so much more... I can hardly contain my excitement! We've been in desperate need of this for so long. It's going to help my anxiety so much |
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Speedy
Sapphire
Posts: 4,613 Likes: 8,575
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Post by Speedy on Sept 13, 2017 15:04:52 GMT -6
I'm sorry that we're all having anxiety issues =( I feel like this year is bad for that. notmoose, I'm glad you got in to get everything checked. I know that usually relieves a boatload of stress off of me. notelsie, yay for AF returning! Tomorrow is the day, at 11 AM. I went and bought myself pads, because knowing my luck, my period will start the next day. I was standing there in the aisle of the pharmacy staring at all the pads and going "wtf do I get??". I haven't had a true period in a year and a half, and I'm not sure if the IUD jacked up my uterus enough to change my flow. I ended up just getting regulars, and I have some pantyliners leftover. I suppose if I need more, I can buy them. But FX I won't need them at all! |
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Radley
Sapphire
Posts: 3,273 Likes: 13,750
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Post by Radley on Sept 13, 2017 20:13:24 GMT -6
How are you doing? I think I'm in a better headspace. I still think about it a lot but I don't feel quite as depressed. I think. Status (TTA, TTC, Benched): Benched. Diagnosis (if applicable): PID related fertility issues. Benched due to liver disease and enlarged spleen. Updates/questions: none. Debbie downer (a place to vent ) : **TW OPP and general sadness** many many people I know are pregnant and a friend just had a baby on Saturday. I'm really happy for them, it does feel a little overwhelming though. I am finally feeling like I don't have to be pregnant and that I'm okay with that though. I am nervous because our angel's EDD is about a month away and smack in the middle of a gender reveal party and a baby shower that I have been invited too. I'm trying to remain positive but I'm nervous about October putting me back in that depressed state again. QOTW : What else is on your desk besides a computer? I don't have a desk. Edited to add question of the week. |
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Radley
Sapphire
Posts: 3,273 Likes: 13,750
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Post by Radley on Sept 13, 2017 20:18:28 GMT -6
Speedy I'm so sorry. Anxiety is so difficult to struggle with. I hope the doctor visit helps. Also yay for the IUD removal. notmoose I'm sorry about your struggle anxiety too. I hope the meds help. notelsie goodness the anxiety is coming is stages around here. I'm hoping the doctor helps. I'm sure the move was difficult. I'm glad you're finally out of your post loss cycle. And congrats on the house!!
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Speedy
Sapphire
Posts: 4,613 Likes: 8,575
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Post by Speedy on Sept 13, 2017 20:36:58 GMT -6
Not too long after I posted this, I went to the dentist (so close to being done with fillings for now...). I have dental anxiety that my doctor gave me some lorazepam for. I popped one of those before I headed out the door, and brought my music, like I always do. So I'm laying in the dental chair, listening to my music and feeling kind of swimmy, when all of the sudden this surge of emotions comes up out of nowhere, and I had to fight them back down because otherwise I was going to start sobbing right there, and I can't imagine it would be very easy to sob with a dental dam in my mouth.
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Post by twocupsofcoffee on Sept 14, 2017 7:29:14 GMT -6
How are you doing? Not great. Had to take a break from the boards after my loss last week. I think I'm ready to process and think about moving forward. Can't tell if it's easier to think about TTC again or if it just makes it all harder. Definitely on my mind though.
Status (TTA, TTC, Benched): Waiting for AF... not sure how long that'll take.
Diagnosis (if applicable): Had a D&E last week.
Updates/questions: Any insights into how long after a D&E it took to get period?
Debbie downer (a place to vent ) : It all just sucks right now.
QOTW : What else is on your desk besides a computer? La Croix. Pretty much always.
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notmoose
Amethyst
Posts: 6,457 Likes: 10,896
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Post by notmoose on Sept 14, 2017 8:37:41 GMT -6
twocupsofcoffee I'm very sorry for your loss. I'm not sure about af after a d&e but I'm still waiting for mine 6 weeks after a natural miscarriage. I've read up to 10 weeks is normal. Be kind to yourself. Big hugs!
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notmoose
Amethyst
Posts: 6,457 Likes: 10,896
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Post by notmoose on Sept 14, 2017 8:41:04 GMT -6
I'm sorry to everyone experiencing anxiety, it truly sucks. Speedy today is iud removal, yes? Good luck! Radley I'm sorry. It's hard dealing with the baby announcements, be kind to yourself. If you have to skip the baby showers to protect yourself, people should understand. Big hugs notelsie woo hoo for the house! How exciting! |
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Speedy
Sapphire
Posts: 4,613 Likes: 8,575
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Post by Speedy on Sept 14, 2017 9:21:28 GMT -6
It's done guys!! I am officially TTC again! I'm terrified!!
Also, I was due for a pap test so they did it at the same time. It was kind of hilarious though. There was a resident doing it with a doctor supervising, but both the doctor and the resident were having trouble with their English today, so they kept mixing up words and then me and the nurse start laughing. Like the doctor was talking about uninstalling the IUD XD
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Post by notelsie on Sept 16, 2017 8:43:41 GMT -6
My period is letting up! I guess it's time to find my thermometer :-o
Mixed feels.
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Speedy
Sapphire
Posts: 4,613 Likes: 8,575
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Post by Speedy on Sept 16, 2017 8:48:31 GMT -6
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Post by notelsie on Sept 17, 2017 21:59:30 GMT -6
After years of waiting and hoping we are finally going to be homeowners again on Thursday!! Oh my gosh, we needed this so much!
We haven't told anyone yet so I'm bursting at the seams. Haha
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Speedy
Sapphire
Posts: 4,613 Likes: 8,575
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Post by Speedy on Sept 19, 2017 10:27:58 GMT -6
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Speedy
Sapphire
Posts: 4,613 Likes: 8,575
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Post by Speedy on Sept 19, 2017 10:29:08 GMT -6
So, as predicted, AF made her appearance on Saturday. I haven't had a period in a year and a half so of course lol. Seems I've forgotten a bit of self care when it comes to periods too. I've already messed up one pair of underwear lol. Ah well! Waiting for it to start and then it's on!
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Post by notelsie on Sept 19, 2017 15:55:17 GMT -6
So, as predicted, AF made her appearance on Saturday. I haven't had a period in a year and a half so of course lol. Seems I've forgotten a bit of self care when it comes to periods too. I've already messed up one pair of underwear lol. Ah well! Waiting for it to start and then it's on! If it makes you feel better I had my last one in February or early March and I messed up a pair last week xD |
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Speedy
Sapphire
Posts: 4,613 Likes: 8,575
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Post by Speedy on Sept 20, 2017 10:34:20 GMT -6
I went to my doctor this morning. God bless him, I am so lucky I have him as my doctor. I know he had other patients waiting but he still took half an hour to talk with me and discuss what's going on and the best way to deal with it.
I'm going to be starting on some anti anxiety meds, I have to go get some bloodwork done to make sure it's not hormonal, and I have an appointment to see a psychologist in 2 weeks. I really need to get this dealt with.
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notmoose
Amethyst
Posts: 6,457 Likes: 10,896
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Post by notmoose on Sept 20, 2017 10:48:49 GMT -6
So I finally got AF back after my loss. Today is 7 weeks AL.
Since one of the enzymes feom my thyroid test came back slightly raised I have to go back Oct 9 for a retest.
FF predicts my fertile window to be Oct 1-7. I called the nurse line and asked if we can resume ttc or if I need to wait until next months test results come back. I'm waiting for a call back after the Dr weighs in.
I'm hoping she'll give me the okay to ttc. But I want to make sure my thyroid is fine and it's safe to ttc.
I'm having so many emotions this week. Several things have triggered breakdowns lately. I've cried a lot this week already.
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notmoose
Amethyst
Posts: 6,457 Likes: 10,896
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Post by notmoose on Sept 20, 2017 10:49:35 GMT -6
I went to my doctor this morning. God bless him, I am so lucky I have him as my doctor. I know he had other patients waiting but he still took half an hour to talk with me and discuss what's going on and the best way to deal with it. I'm going to be starting on some anti anxiety meds, I have to go get some bloodwork done to make sure it's not hormonal, and I have an appointment to see a psychologist in 2 weeks. I really need to get this dealt with. I hope the meds work and everything is a-ok hormone wise. Im glad you have a good doctor! |
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My desktop is currently packed up while we live with family.
