Lakes
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Tuesday
Aug 29, 2017 5:57:02 GMT -6
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Post by Lakes on Aug 29, 2017 5:57:02 GMT -6
Dd is 7 months today! #cabooselife Where's pibblemom at? Mh gave me a heart attack this morning by informing the desktop was dead. After he left I took a look at it and the power cord was just loose. Why didn't you check that right away? He even said it seemed like a power issue 🙄 Now I'm wide awake. I have to take dd's pictures. Then it's off to a lunch date with a coworker. It's my "work mom" so I'm super excited!
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Tuesday
Aug 29, 2017 7:43:22 GMT -6
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Post by heybulldog on Aug 29, 2017 7:43:22 GMT -6
I'm home sick with B. Technically, he could have gone to daycare because no ever. However, he is miserableness and looks like shit. I went back to work yesterday and today is just a day packed with pointless meetings. I'm really happy to have such an understanding admin let me skip the bullshit today.
In other news, I was a mess yesterday. I don't want to work. I want to stay home. I cried at least five times yesterday. Everything kept going wrong and it was just a shitty day. Thanks for listening. I know j haven't been around much but I know you ladies would understand how I feel.
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ellabee
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Tuesday
Aug 29, 2017 8:45:38 GMT -6
Post by ellabee on Aug 29, 2017 8:45:38 GMT -6
I can't believe he didn't check the power cord Lakes. Lol. Men. ::eye roll:: Have fun on your lunch date! Major ((hugs)) heybulldog. I hope B feels better soon. I'm sorry that your first day back was shitty. It's so so hard to go back when you don't want to.
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ellabee
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Tuesday
Aug 29, 2017 8:53:55 GMT -6
Post by ellabee on Aug 29, 2017 8:53:55 GMT -6
DH goes back to teaching today. I'm not sure how he's going to manage it because his schedule has been pretty straight out with just the construction/property stuff lately. In my heart I know that the only thing that can give is the wife/kid time. I'm struggling internally about this because on the one hand, we'd live a different lifestyle if we didn't have that paycheck (it basically covers daycare for the 2 kids) but on the other, he only sees us for like an hr each day as it is and I'm struggling as the default parent. He literally leaves before the kids get up and walks in at night while I'm serving dinner. 50% of the time he crashes before the kids are even asleep. This leaves me doing daycare packing, dropoff, pickup, dinner, bath, bed, motn duty, grocery shopping, bill paying, laundry, and everything else. I try to not ask more of him because he's working his ass off for us, I just....::sigh::.
Sorry for the vent. Apparently I had to get that off my chest.
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Tuesday
Aug 29, 2017 8:54:26 GMT -6
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Post by heybulldog on Aug 29, 2017 8:54:26 GMT -6
I can't believe he didn't check the power cord Lakes. Lol. Men. ::eye roll:: Have fun on your lunch date! Major ((hugs)) heybulldog. I hope B feels better soon. I'm sorry that your first day back was shitty. It's so so hard to go back when you don't want to. Yeah it blows. I know as time goes on it will be the new normal but ugh... major 'vacation' hangover.
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Tuesday
Aug 29, 2017 8:58:06 GMT -6
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Post by heybulldog on Aug 29, 2017 8:58:06 GMT -6
Hugs ellabee. I'm familiar with what you described. It's so hard. MH is gone before we wake up and, although he should be home by 2, he gets home late almost daily. He's also back in school and that is obviously pretty time consuming. He's always so exhausted and often falls asleep while just sitting down playing with DS1. This leaves me with the majority of chores. It's exhausting. I hope things even out as time passes. Hugs, friend.
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Tuesday
Aug 29, 2017 9:06:08 GMT -6
Post by judyblume14 on Aug 29, 2017 9:06:08 GMT -6
ellabee, I don't mean to sound insensitive, so tell me to buzz off. But, i think if I were in your shoes, I would request (ask? insist? demand?) that my H stay awake in the evening and help at the VERY least until the kids were in bed, and more appropriately, until everything for the day was finished (cleaning up after dinner and prepping for the next day). IIRC, you work outside the home, too, right? Plus all of the kin-keeping, mental load and household responsibilities? I think you're being super-accommodating. You're way nicer than me. Not that everyone has to do things the way I do... but what works for us is that neither of us go to bed until all "chores" are done.
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Tuesday
Aug 29, 2017 9:11:16 GMT -6
Post by judyblume14 on Aug 29, 2017 9:11:16 GMT -6
I need to complain. Baby A won't sleep anymore and I am so damn tired. Also, the big girl has wet the bed 3 out of the last 4 nights. So a typical night is: -put both kids to bed -clean-up after dinner/prep for tomorrow -start to sit down on the couch to spend time with H -baby starts screaming -ignore for a couple minutes, praying she self-soothes -baby does not self soothe, so i go up and rocker her back to sleep -now its my bed time and I lay down -baby starts screaming again and I die a little inside -H comes up to bed as I'm now going back into the babies room to rock her some more -back to our bedroom, finally fall asleep for 5 minutes -big girl calls for us because she peed the bed about 20 minutes before our alarm was set to go wake her for MOTN potty break -change her pee pad in her bed, change her PJs -go back to bed for 5 seconds -baby starts screaming again
oh. my. gosh.
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ellabee
Sapphire
Posts: 2,683 Likes: 7,018
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Tuesday
Aug 29, 2017 9:32:18 GMT -6
Post by ellabee on Aug 29, 2017 9:32:18 GMT -6
ellabee , I don't mean to sound insensitive, so tell me to buzz off. But, i think if I were in your shoes, I would request (ask? insist? demand?) that my H stay awake in the evening and help at the VERY least until the kids were in bed, and more appropriately, until everything for the day was finished (cleaning up after dinner and prepping for the next day). IIRC, you work outside the home, too, right? Plus all of the kin-keeping, mental load and household responsibilities? I think you're being super-accommodating. You're way nicer than me. Not that everyone has to do things the way I do... but what works for us is that neither of us go to bed until all "chores" are done. I really appreciate the perspective - it's not insensitive at all. There's a large part of me that agrees 100%, for sure. With DD everything was shared pretty much 50/50. Since his construction company has taken off, it's been like 95% me. He is INCREDIBLY defensive when I bring this up - or make mention of him doing more with me or the kids, because he feels like he sacrifices so much FOR us. It's hard for me to argue with that, because I *know* and see that everything he's doing is directly helping us make improvements to our house, our financial situation and our future. I see the amount of pressure he's under managing everything and I can't bear to be another nagging, demanding source of stress in his life. I just keep telling myself that when a few of his projects/jobs are complete, the pendulum will swing back towards the middle. Maybe that's delusional. I do know he feels guilty missing out on kid time. We've also been making an effort to get babysitters lately and have gone on a few night time dates.
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Tuesday
Aug 29, 2017 9:49:19 GMT -6
Post by judyblume14 on Aug 29, 2017 9:49:19 GMT -6
ellabee, ahh, see, I miss things when I only check in periodically. When you mentioned construction, I though you were referring to work on your beach house / cabin? Do you have a vacay home? Am I mixing people up? I didn't realize he was going back to teaching in addition to starting/growing another business. That changes my perspective a little bit. So, something else to think about... And I do this when I feel like I'm doing way more around the house, or when I start to feel guilty that my H is pulling more weight with the girls. I just try to take stock of everything going on in both of our lives. Are we both giving 100% to the family? Or more realistically, are we both giving 90% to the family and 10% to ourselves? Does it feel like there is a "fair" (even if not "even") distribution of load? Thinking about this doesn't make me less exhausted or stressed out, but it does help me realize when I'm being unreasonable, or when I truly need more help (or truly need to pitch in more - that does happen). It also helps stifle any resentment that starts to bubble up. Your comment that you "*know* and see that everything he's doing is directly helping us make improvements to our house, our financial situation and our future" makes me think that you do something similar to the above and that right now you're both doing the things that you need to do, respectively, for your family to thrive. But woof, i know it can be frustrating when you feel like you need more help, but there is no help left for him to give!
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ellabee
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Posts: 2,683 Likes: 7,018
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Tuesday
Aug 29, 2017 10:43:18 GMT -6
Post by ellabee on Aug 29, 2017 10:43:18 GMT -6
ellabee , ahh, see, I miss things when I only check in periodically. When you mentioned construction, I though you were referring to work on your beach house / cabin? Do you have a vacay home? Am I mixing people up? I didn't realize he was going back to teaching in addition to starting/growing another business. That changes my perspective a little bit. So, something else to think about... And I do this when I feel like I'm doing way more around the house, or when I start to feel guilty that my H is pulling more weight with the girls. I just try to take stock of everything going on in both of our lives. Are we both giving 100% to the family? Or more realistically, are we both giving 90% to the family and 10% to ourselves? Does it feel like there is a "fair" (even if not "even") distribution of load? Thinking about this doesn't make me less exhausted or stressed out, but it does help me realize when I'm being unreasonable, or when I truly need more help (or truly need to pitch in more - that does happen). It also helps stifle any resentment that starts to bubble up. Your comment that you "*know* and see that everything he's doing is directly helping us make improvements to our house, our financial situation and our future" makes me think that you do something similar to the above and that right now you're both doing the things that you need to do, respectively, for your family to thrive. But woof, i know it can be frustrating when you feel like you need more help, but there is no help left for him to give! You're right - that's me! DH and I own 2 multi-family properties. He manages the 4 units that we don't live in, plus 3 more from various other clients. This entails everything from lawn mowing to changing batteries in chirping smoke detectors. We also co-own a vacation house with his parents. They put down the down payment, but were willing to put us on the deed because we help manage all the changovers for their other vacation house down the street. Hs parents more or less expect H to manage all of the renovations as part of this exchange. So when I say he's doing stuff for our future - his work is literally securing us this house when the time comes. He also started a construction/property management company about a year ago. He's currently the general contractor for a gut renovation of a 5 floor 3 family house - so daily he's making sure all the contractors are doing their jobs. On an average day he runs to Home Depot or other supply houses 2-3 times getting various materials. His income from this new company is enabling us to replace our rotted siding on our house. He can't pull the carpenters during the week to work on our place, so he uses them on Saturdays to chip away our siding. Our house has been without siding for a few months now (this is a HUGE stress factor for him). This is why I solo parent every Saturday, and lately he's had a few guys that are willing to work Sundays too. He also is a licensed real estate agent and recently a family friend asked them to rent their unit. He frequently has showings for the property that fall during non-typical work hours (i.e. kid's dinner/bed time/weekends). He could have said no to this, but he's 99% sure it'll turn into a property sale ($$$commission) in a few years when the owners are done with the bother of renting. He loves the construction stuff and I think he's working his butt off partly to show that it's profitable enough for this year to be his last year as a Physics professor. The teaching is a cushy job because he gets breaks and summers off, but it's not his passion. I on the other hand, have an incredibly flexible job (I can work from home, or if I'm in the office my hours are like 9-4). I make more than twice what his college salary is and probably work half as hard. My job gets much busier at times, but it's a little slow right now, which seems fortuitous. I guess long story short, it doesn't gain me much at this moment in our lives to push DH to do (seemingly petty) things like own unpacking the dishwasher. I have faith that we'll get back to that less-crazy state in our lives down the road. Hopefully sooner rather than later.
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Lakes
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Tuesday
Aug 29, 2017 13:10:33 GMT -6
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Post by Lakes on Aug 29, 2017 13:10:33 GMT -6
Lunch was great! I miss seeing this friend. She retired the year I had ds so I still wouldn't be seeing her everyday if I was working but it still makes me think about working vs sah. ellabee I feel similar with some of the husband stuff. Mh sees the kids briefly in the morning while getting ready and maybe an hour at night. It sucks. heybulldog *hugs* I'm sorry you're struggling right now. Getting back into the swing of school always sucks but it's way worse with kids in the mix. judyblume14 I'm with you on the sleep thing. Dd has been up a lot the last few nights after two weeks of decent sleep. It's killing me slowly.
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peaseblossom55
Platinum
Hope. It is the only thing stronger than fear.
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Post by peaseblossom55 on Aug 29, 2017 20:59:44 GMT -6
So many hugs to everyone.
Work is so so crazy I worked all day nd came home worked another two hours. I am so frustrated with so much of this work stuff. Is it Friday yet?
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Post by pibblemom on Aug 30, 2017 7:46:54 GMT -6
Hey guys. Drive by. Works been crazy busy, we had an incident last week that required a ton of paperwork and sept/oct is like the apex of our busy season. C has a tooth popping through finally, still no interest in crawling but is loving her walker. I hope I can come and participate better soon ❤
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ellabee
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Post by ellabee on Aug 30, 2017 12:56:59 GMT -6
B still has no teeth...
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carrots
Gold
Posts: 701 Likes: 1,760
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Post by carrots on Aug 30, 2017 14:25:38 GMT -6
I'm just now checking in and missed yesterday but wanted to send some good vibes your way heybulldog. I hope things get easier or you're able to figure out a way to spend more time at home. It's so hard to get through the day when you're not where you want to be. judyblume14 I like that view that fair does not necessarily mean even. I'm going to keep that in mind when I slip into score keeping mode sometimes.
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carrots
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Post by carrots on Aug 30, 2017 14:25:55 GMT -6
Same. Lots of drool. But no sign of teen.
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ellabee
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Post by ellabee on Aug 30, 2017 14:36:08 GMT -6
Same. Lots of drool. But no sign of teen. I just looked it up DDs baby book and found it that her first 2 bottom teeth came in at 8.5 months. I was getting worried that it seemed late for B, but now i feel better about it.
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carrots
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Post by carrots on Aug 30, 2017 17:37:00 GMT -6
ellabee I think DS was the same. My boobs would be happier if M waits even longer!
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Lakes
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Tuesday
Aug 30, 2017 18:10:10 GMT -6
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Post by Lakes on Aug 30, 2017 18:10:10 GMT -6
ellabee I think DS was the same. My boobs would be happier if M waits even longer! Ds got his first tooth at 4 months 😬 I'm excited dd made it to 7!
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