i need your advice, loss mamas (XP to AL)

[addymac]

Hey ladies,

Okay- so I had my "40w" appointment today (39+5) and apparently my body is ready to go - I'm 3cm dilated and 90% effaced... so my dr said he could induce me any day (that he's on call) between now and 41weeks... so I'm faced with a dilemma - do I get induced or do I let things progress naturally?

Issues if I choose to be induced:

1) Option of dates for induction:
- 8/18 (born on 8/19) - TOMORROW?! am i ready for this kid to come TOMORROW?! I would have to miss one 12hr day of work, which would cut my leave time (it's based on how many hours i have saved for vacation/sick time) and I would have to go back to work a week earlier than I wanted to...

- 8/21 (born 8/22) - 8/22 is the date we found out loss baby died. I really, really, didn't want him born on that day. But, it seems like a nice option - Baby born on Tuesday, DH would be off from work Tues/Wed/Thurs, Id have Friday to myself with the baby and then my parents would arrive on Saturday. But, it's an awful day in my mind and it will be the one year anniversary and I don't know how I would handle the one year anniversary AND baby being born that day.

- 8/24 (born 8/25) - 8//25 is the day I had my d&c. Again, not a date I wanted him born on. Same reasons. I wanted to be NOWHERE near the hospital. I'm scared it will trigger too much, with pregnancy and labor and mom hormones, and how will I feel towards new baby with all the feels about loss baby

- 8/26 (born 8/27) - 41weeks - This is really petty but my dad's birthday is 8/27 and I really don't want them to share a birthday. I get along fine with my parents but our relationship really suffered during my last pregnancy and the loss, and I haven't recovered from the way they acted and their version of support (it was as if I had to support them through my loss,, not them supporting me) and I just want my kid to have his own day. I just don't want him to share with him because I feel like it gives him more of a "claim" or something to the baby. Like, they're so excited, which is great, but because I'm still resentful towards them, I have issues with them being so close to the baby and they call it "our baby" and I am like NO IT"S MY BABY NOT YOURS. (i have issues, I know i need to work through them).


I am quite uncomfortable and ready to get him out, but suddenly the idea of scheduling him to come out before 41w is terrifying to me...

WWYD?!?

[cali]

Honestly, I think I'd go with 8/21 induction. None of the dates seems great so I'd just go with the earliest one that doesn't require you to lose any of your leave time.
BTW, I totally get how you're feeling about certain dates being difficult. Tomorrow is the date we found out about our loss and the 19th is the day I had my d&c and I've been worried about her being born on those dates. If my BP is high again at my appointment tomorrow then they will induce me tomorrow instead of waiting til Sunday. I eas initially stressed but ultimately i've just come to terms with it if it happens and hope if it happens her bday will replace some of the sad memories with a happy one.
No matter what you choose you will be ok and I can't wait for you to be snuggling your baby.

[addymac]

cali @starzia thanks ladies. You make sense, @starzia. Don't apologize. We're all hormonal. After the appt I was walking DH back towards his hospital building and we were talking and then I just got so teary-eyed and almost started bawling as we contemplated having him born on those dates. Then, 30 seconds later I was fine. HORMONES!!

[flippinchica]

I'm going to dissent a bit but it really is personal preference. I wanted to avoid an induction and with DS I ended up going into labor naturally at 40w5d and he was born at 41 weeks so I would want to wait a bit more for my body to do its thing. Plus you don't know for sure the baby will be born the day after induction. Yes it is the most likely possibility but I went into labor on a Sunday night and he was born Tuesday after lunch. And I know ladies (even ftm) who had their baby they day they were induced. I'm just trying to say that labor is rally hard to plan for.
If you dont care about induction vs going into labor naturally I would probably just pick tomorrow. (Plus 8/18 is a great birthday)