mapleme
Amethyst
Posts: 6,071 Likes: 16,088 
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Post by mapleme on Aug 17, 2017 9:13:12 GMT -6
How do y'all do it? I keep ending up in power struggles with M and it's super not effective. There are certain toys that can't come out until there is enough space to accommodate them and even if she wants that toy, she will sit in the middle of the mess and whine that it's too hard and she needs help. If I help she will sit on the couch and watch me clean (or go off and make another mess somewhere else). If I don't help she will cry until she goes and grabs the wanted toy and dumps it out everywhere anyway. This is mostly a problem with toys that have lots of pieces, like puzzles and trains - which is all everyone has been getting us recently. M isn't that into those toys, so I almost want to get rid of them, but C is SUPER into those toys and I think that that interest will grow as she gets older. Also, C is now getting out those toys and dumping them everywhere, which compounds the problem because she obviously can't clean them up herself (although she mimics me cleaning which ends up being more helpful than M).
When I was growing up my dad never made me clean. We had a cleaning lady who would organize my room once/week and otherwise my dad would just grumble and bitch about the mess but not make me do anything about it. He is also a fastidious neatnik, so every attempt at cleaning would require a go back and fix ("you missed a spot"). As a result, I am very good at cleaning, but rarely want to do it. I definitely have a "relationship" with cleaning that I would love to avoid for my kids.
So, how do I do this?
ETA: my dad also had a rule that I had to keep the mess to my room. But that doesn't work for M because DH does her bedtimes and HATES the mess. He keeps telling me that he can't take it anymore and that we she needs to keep her room clean and I'm all, "oh and how do you propose we make this magical thing happen?"
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milano
Emerald
Posts: 10,914 Likes: 36,993
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Post by milano on Aug 17, 2017 9:56:42 GMT -6
This is how it works in our house, at least right now with a barely 3 yo:
The toys is in our living room all fit into a toy box, a play kitchen, and a small cube storage thing. So there's not a ton of toys out all the time. I usually just clean everything up at night after J goes to bed. Sometimes he'll help me clean up but usually I just wait because it's easier for me just to quickly do it myself. We have a closet in the laundry room where I keep puzzles, building blocks, and coloring supplies - aka all the toys with a bunch of pieces. I only let him get out a couple puzzles at a time and we have to put those away before we get new ones out.
We also have a big playroom above the garage where a lot of the bigger toys are and I just clean that room every month or so so I can vacuum, we're only out there a couple hours a week usually.
In his room are his Duplo Legos, books, one of those foam alphabet mat things which is never put together, a mr. Potato head, and two trucks for his road map rug. Each of those things has its own separate basket. One time completely unprompted he put everything away by himself and I nearly died with excitement over what my life could become. It has never happened again. After quiet time or sometimes even in the morning I tell him we have to clean up the toys before we go downstairs and he's pretty good about helping me but sometimes he whines and says it's too hard for him. But I'm persistent and sometimes it takes forever but eventually he helps because he wants to go downstairs.
Basically, the tl;dr version is that I keep a limit on how many toys are out and accessible at one time, especially in his room. I do most of the cleanup right now but I will not be doing this forever. We do not have a huge house or a dedicated playroom (even the one above the garage also serves as a craft area, a sitting area, and a guest room) so I run a tight ship on how many toys are here.
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Post by ovenrack on Aug 17, 2017 10:07:54 GMT -6
I have no help in the bedroom - we keep the kids bedrooms so sparse that there's really no mess. H has three stuffed animals, and books. That's it. I pick up the books off the floor and put them on the shelves about once a week. I ask H to return them to the shelf after reading, too.
In terms of the playroom, I would totally put away some of the toys (only have two puzzles, or the train, or whatever available at a time).
I also reorganized the playroom so there's a legit place for everything. Big baby toys (M's lift up stuff) go on this shelf. Puzzles go on this shelf. Ride-ons are parked on this wall. I have five bins: play food/dishes, vehicles, tools, vehicles, miscellaneous. Art supplies are my job and they go in the locked cabinet. Lol.
Anecdote: last night we went out, and A's aunt babysat. I told her there were ice cream cones available in the freezer, as a treat. She chose to say he could have the ice cream as soon as the playroom was clean.
I'm not one to offer food in connection to praise or whatever; but I have a feeling he cleaned really fast.
I do always clean with him. He may seem old, but he's 3.5 and I just don't think I can expect him to maintain a particular level of order at this point (since it doesn't seem to be in his personality, particularly).
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Post by chickypoo2468 on Aug 17, 2017 11:35:41 GMT -6
I don't let the kids keep toys in their rooms bc it's a disaster. Toys belong in the designated play area by the family room. I do have a small toy area in the living room too but it's mostly for O and there's 3 of those small square bins that I let the others keep stuff in. If t gets messy I toss everything in a laundry basket and take it back to the playroom.
Every so often I clean the playroom and toss stuff as needed. But it's usually a disaster. As long as it's contained I don't really care though.
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Post by charlotte on Aug 17, 2017 11:55:34 GMT -6
DS doesn't have any toys in his room. The living room get picked up every night "together" AKA he puts a few things away very slowly while MH or I quickly grabs up the majority of the toys and sticks them in a drawer. He likes the clean up song right now, so usually singing that encourages him to participate in picking up.
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Post by brandiewine11 on Aug 17, 2017 12:13:48 GMT -6
No toys in the bedroom here either - he's got about 6 books and his bed is covered in stuffed animals.
We have the luxury of having a "play space" set up in the living room since it's so big and we spend 90% of our time in there. I realize you don't have as much space. But in any event, most of the toys live in there. R does get them out all day, but we usually dedicate some time each afternoon to clean up. He does require help - either hands on or just in staying focused. So I either direct him to pick up this toy or that toy or help by handing him things or pointing out where stuff is that needs to be put away.
Does M have/like trucks? R uses his dump truck to clean up. He gathers everything of a particular variety (blocks, matchbox cars, etc) in the truck and then dumps them into the correct bin. It works really well actually and he thinks he's playing. He also sometimes uses the clean up song.
The play space has one Ikea shelf with bins, a book shelf, a toy box, and a small table/chair set.
As far as big toys that are messy, trains have a dedicated space here because they are used several times a day. Other things like puzzles, play dough, etc are put away where he can't access them without asking. He also can't see them so he doesn't ask as often. He uses the small table in his play area for those things.
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nikkipal
Sapphire
Posts: 2,751 Likes: 8,044
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Post by nikkipal on Aug 17, 2017 13:39:09 GMT -6
I am not great about keeping things cleaned up, and my M reacts similarly. She does really love Dora, so her clean up song is helpful. Some genius posted it on YouTube in a 30 minute loop, so there's that.
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Post by critter015 on Aug 17, 2017 15:22:42 GMT -6
I'm not doing well with this. I feel like my kids play by spreading every single toy out on the floor, and between the three of them they have way too many! We don't have a playroom but their rooms are big, so their toys mostly all have places to belong in their rooms, but instead they end up on a giant heap all over the living room floor. Sometimes toys are spead over the floors of every room it seems. We do have a closet where art supplies and puzzles and games live, so I regulate those so they can only have one thing out at a time, but I don't know how to get the kids to understand putting their other toys away before they get something else out. I have been trying to make sure they at least take the toys from the living room back to their rooms at the end of the day, and once or twice a week I help them sort all of those toys back to where they belong so I can vacuum. I used to tell them they couldn't have a bedtime story if they didn't help pick up, but then they started saying "well then I don't want a story," so that was counterproductive.
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Post by Dramaphile on Aug 18, 2017 6:57:45 GMT -6
I suppose we should start teaching Nugget how to clean up......
Also I really need to figure out toy storage. So far we have a big bench toy box that everything gets shoved into, and then some smaller stuff gets shoved into the toy kitchen. Maybe one of those things with tubs or baskets? Also, the bookshelf in her room is awful (I got if for free from a friend...), it has no back and is wobbly and books just end up stacked inside it until they fall behind. Ugh.
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piccyami
Platinum
Posts: 1,047 Likes: 1,884
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Post by piccyami on Aug 18, 2017 8:05:18 GMT -6
We have one of those cube things for our living room and one for their room. We're also adding one to their closet for clothes so maybe I'll actually put their clothes away.
But we pick up toys before we leave the room (the dog would eat them otherwise) and the toys have to fit or we move toys to our storage room.
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tj
Moderator 
Posts: 9,912 Likes: 24,842
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Post by tj on Aug 18, 2017 9:17:10 GMT -6
I suppose we should start teaching Nugget how to clean up...... Also I really need to figure out toy storage. So far we have a big bench toy box that everything gets shoved into, and then some smaller stuff gets shoved into the toy kitchen. Maybe one of those things with tubs or baskets? Also, the bookshelf in her room is awful (I got if for free from a friend...), it has no back and is wobbly and books just end up stacked inside it until they fall behind. Ugh. Dude. Nail or screw a piece of plywood to the back. I know y'all are crafty. You can do it. |
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Post by Dramaphile on Aug 18, 2017 9:30:46 GMT -6
I suppose we should start teaching Nugget how to clean up...... Also I really need to figure out toy storage. So far we have a big bench toy box that everything gets shoved into, and then some smaller stuff gets shoved into the toy kitchen. Maybe one of those things with tubs or baskets? Also, the bookshelf in her room is awful (I got if for free from a friend...), it has no back and is wobbly and books just end up stacked inside it until they fall behind. Ugh. Dude. Nail or screw a piece of plywood to the back. I know y'all are crafty. You can do it. Yeah I could, but it's a crappy bookshelf to begin with and the size is awkward and I would rather get something else. Need to keep an eye on the local yard sale pages and see if anything good pops up. |
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Post by chickypoo2468 on Aug 18, 2017 12:23:42 GMT -6
This seems relevant here  Note O in the middle of the chaos. He found paradise. |
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Post by chickypoo2468 on Aug 18, 2017 12:24:37 GMT -6
Also, I cleaned this last thurs-fri. And I'm pretty sure J is the only one who has been in here lol
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Post by chickypoo2468 on Aug 18, 2017 12:59:11 GMT -6
Another also, I love how you can see his path. He's like a mini bulldozer lol
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