Midweek Randoms

[NamasteBirches]

Hey guys, how's it going??

[NamasteBirches]

So I think I'm having some family drama.
I haven't spoken to my mom in a few weeks. I'm just really not the type to call her on a regular basis, she knows this & it bothers her, she takes it personally. I don't really care, this is years of the same stuff. So her birthday was Monday. I called her a few times, it went to voicemail, I left a message. She never called me back.
I'm done. I'm not gonna keep calling until she picks up. I 100% believe she's in the mindset of I only call for occasions or "when it's the right thing to do" (ie she also had surgery a couple months ago so I had called when she got out, etc.) We don't have a close relationship, this is the way it's always been. Besides that, when we do talk, I can barely understand what she is saying. Her phone is always breaking up, it's just not a normal situation & also more times than not, she's complaining about pain, negative things, etc.
Another thing is DS' birthday is in two weeks. They have yet to reach out about coming to visit (we live a state away, about 6 hours.) I am obviously feeling some type of way about this so yea not really thrilled to call you for your birthday, you're not a child. I'm done sending invitations. I was done a year or two ago when people failed to come when we wanted them to all together. It morphed into DH's parents coming on their own weekend sometime in the fall. They already told us they wouldn't be able to make it in August because of FIL's job but they do have intentions of coming out Sept/Oct, I forget which month. It's been radio silence from my side. They haven't been out here since he turned 4.

[misspeansmama]

Hugs NamasteBirches! Whatever your relationship is with your mom, it really stinks that she doesn't want to put forth the effort for the sake of her grandson.

Personally, I would continue to send an invitation just to avoid hearing "well you didn't invite us". But I would plan on them not coming.

[NamasteBirches]

Aug 16, 2017 7:42:23 GMT -6 misspeansmama said:

Hugs NamasteBirches ! Whatever your relationship is with your mom, it really stinks that she doesn't want to put forth the effort for the sake of her grandson.

Personally, I would continue to send an invitation just to avoid hearing "well you didn't invite us". But I would plan on them not coming.

The thing with the invitation thing is it really is a special snowflake situation. We're not really having a party on his birthday (since his birthday is literally a week after school starts & that weekend is Labor Day, we'll probably have it the weekend after so there's more chances people will actually come) but the ILs won't be here. My brother & his fam is pretty much never coming here so it's literally just them. Our family is really small. We don't have a relationship with our extended family. I shouldn't have to formally invite them to come see their grandson. Honestly at times, it feels like they are perfectly content with my brother's kids & I haven't cared in a long time. It's just observations I make. 
They're the ones missing out, not us.

[NamasteBirches]

& then there's this shit.
Yesterday when I pried & asked DS about that one kid in particular that is in camp again that has been an issue he told me that at 'recess' (they have lunch at a playground & play for a bit afterwards), this kid was running around calling him stupid. The first week he did camp back when school just ended, this kid was also giving him a hard time. They have a disciplinary process that ends with getting kicked out but the thing is I believe he's just not being bad enough so after talking it over with DH last night, this morning I spoke to the director of the program.
The guy talked about how much of an issue this kid has been (all things that I already know based on how DS talks about him) & I'm just thinking in my head, why do you keep letting him back in?! but he said he thinks he's still little & just spews stuff out & isn't malicious & since they have been able to engage him in the activities they do, he feels like he's in a tough spot. So he basically said he's going to watch out for DS & talk to this other kid. I mean, this camp ends on Friday anyways. I just feel like they shouldn't have let this kid back in if they have had issues with him each & every session. So annoying. The guy called DS a "good sport" for dealing with all the crap that kid has put him through & what's funny is this kid is like a year younger than him, go figure. Real nice.

[misspeansmama]

I am really hoping the paperwork from DD's school comes today. Her orientation is in exactly a week, but the only reason I know that is that I looked on their website. It gives a date, time and room name. However, I have no idea which building the room is in. There are no maps on the website and when we went to a meeting in the spring there was talk of the orientation not being held at the elementary school because they are renovating. But it wasn't confirmed at that time. It would be nice to know where we need to go for this thing...more than a day or two in advance. It's so weird because everything else we've gotten was delivered a month or so in advance. If I don't have something by Friday, I suppose I will have to call the school and ask.

[bellatrix]

Can I ask you all to send good vibes/keep your fingers crossed? MH has a job interview tomorrow!

[misspeansmama]

Aug 16, 2017 7:54:42 GMT -6 NamasteBirches said:

Aug 16, 2017 7:42:23 GMT -6 misspeansmama said:

Hugs NamasteBirches ! Whatever your relationship is with your mom, it really stinks that she doesn't want to put forth the effort for the sake of her grandson.

Personally, I would continue to send an invitation just to avoid hearing "well you didn't invite us". But I would plan on them not coming.

The thing with the invitation thing is it really is a special snowflake situation. We're not really having a party on his birthday (since his birthday is literally a week after school starts & that weekend is Labor Day, we'll probably have it the weekend after so there's more chances people will actually come) but the ILs won't be here. My brother & his fam is pretty much never coming here so it's literally just them. Our family is really small. We don't have a relationship with our extended family. I shouldn't have to formally invite them to come see their grandson. Honestly at times, it feels like they are perfectly content with my brother's kids & I haven't cared in a long time. It's just observations I make. 
They're the ones missing out, not us.

You are right, you shouldn't have to formally invite your parents to see their grandchild.  I feel the same way.   I don't know if it's a generation thing, but honestly, my parents and IL's are the same way.  They need an invitation to visit and we live relatively close to both sides.  I guess the difference in my family is that they actually want to see their granddaughter and will put forth the effort to do so.  

It is definitely your parents who are missing out.  

[misspeansmama]

Aug 16, 2017 8:01:42 GMT -6 bellatrix said:

Can I ask you all to send good vibes/keep your fingers crossed? MH has a job interview tomorrow!

FX for YH!

[misspeansmama]

@chair, I hate when that happens! Coughing, sneezing, laughing too hard. Kegels do not seem to help the problem go away either.

[NamasteBirches]

Aug 16, 2017 8:05:56 GMT -6 misspeansmama said:

Aug 16, 2017 7:54:42 GMT -6 NamasteBirches said:

The thing with the invitation thing is it really is a special snowflake situation. We're not really having a party on his birthday (since his birthday is literally a week after school starts & that weekend is Labor Day, we'll probably have it the weekend after so there's more chances people will actually come) but the ILs won't be here. My brother & his fam is pretty much never coming here so it's literally just them. Our family is really small. We don't have a relationship with our extended family. I shouldn't have to formally invite them to come see their grandson. Honestly at times, it feels like they are perfectly content with my brother's kids & I haven't cared in a long time. It's just observations I make. 
They're the ones missing out, not us.

You are right, you shouldn't have to formally invite your parents to see their grandchild.  I feel the same way.   I don't know if it's a generation thing, but honestly, my parents and IL's are the same way.  They need an invitation to visit and we live relatively close to both sides.  I guess the difference in my family is that they actually want to see their granddaughter and will put forth the effort to do so.  

It is definitely your parents who are missing out.  

I'm just curious, is it a legit invitation in the mail or a casual over the phone like hey, you're welcome to come over this date/time, etc? 
Because it's a big production for them to visit, I feel like I'm not really in charge of them visiting. It's up to their schedule, etc. They should be the ones to start that convo, you know?
Also, my dad just took a month off to care for her a month or two back when she had the surgery. I don't know if that was considered FMLA or his vacation time so I'm sure they'll throw out another excuse. I just don't wanna hear it.

[NamasteBirches]

Good luck to your H bellatrix

[NamasteBirches]

Aug 16, 2017 7:58:03 GMT -6 misspeansmama said:

I am really hoping the paperwork from DD's school comes today. Her orientation is in exactly a week, but the only reason I know that is that I looked on their website. It gives a date, time and room name. However, I have no idea which building the room is in. There are no maps on the website and when we went to a meeting in the spring there was talk of the orientation not being held at the elementary school because they are renovating. But it wasn't confirmed at that time. It would be nice to know where we need to go for this thing...more than a day or two in advance. It's so weird because everything else we've gotten was delivered a month or so in advance. If I don't have something by Friday, I suppose I will have to call the school and ask.

That's so frustrating, hopefully it's in the mail this week.

[misspeansmama]

Aug 16, 2017 8:37:27 GMT -6 NamasteBirches said:

Aug 16, 2017 8:05:56 GMT -6 misspeansmama said:

You are right, you shouldn't have to formally invite your parents to see their grandchild.  I feel the same way.   I don't know if it's a generation thing, but honestly, my parents and IL's are the same way.  They need an invitation to visit and we live relatively close to both sides.  I guess the difference in my family is that they actually want to see their granddaughter and will put forth the effort to do so.  

It is definitely your parents who are missing out.  

I'm just curious, is it a legit invitation in the mail or a casual over the phone like hey, you're welcome to come over this date/time, etc? 
Because it's a big production for them to visit, I feel like I'm not really in charge of them visiting. It's up to their schedule, etc. They should be the ones to start that convo, you know?
Also, my dad just took a month off to care for her a month or two back when she had the surgery. I don't know if that was considered FMLA or his vacation time so I'm sure they'll throw out another excuse. I just don't wanna hear it.

For DD's birthday, it's a formal invitation that gets mailed out.  If we just want them to visit at a random time, we can call up and invite them over. (or invite ourselves to their houses).  With my dad things have to be more planned because he's always on the go.  But with the IL's things can be last minute because they don't really do anything.  

Excuses get old, so I don't blame you for not wanting to hear the latest.  

[NamasteBirches]

Aug 16, 2017 8:44:11 GMT -6 misspeansmama said:

Aug 16, 2017 8:37:27 GMT -6 NamasteBirches said:

I'm just curious, is it a legit invitation in the mail or a casual over the phone like hey, you're welcome to come over this date/time, etc? 
Because it's a big production for them to visit, I feel like I'm not really in charge of them visiting. It's up to their schedule, etc. They should be the ones to start that convo, you know?
Also, my dad just took a month off to care for her a month or two back when she had the surgery. I don't know if that was considered FMLA or his vacation time so I'm sure they'll throw out another excuse. I just don't wanna hear it.

For DD's birthday, it's a formal invitation that gets mailed out.  If we just want them to visit at a random time, we can call up and invite them over. (or invite ourselves to their houses).  With my dad things have to be more planned because he's always on the go.  But with the IL's things can be last minute because they don't really do anything.  

Excuses get old, so I don't blame you for not wanting to hear the latest.  

I think it's a little more complicated being long distance. That sounds all normal if we lived in the same general vicinity but for his birthday for the longest time, we did invites & tried to do a set party on a set date. After failed attempts of getting the whole family together, we just stopped. It's flipped flopped almost like every other year DH's parents will be here or my parents but more consistently DH's parents visit here at least once a year. My parents don't.
& I'm not inviting them to the party we're planning on throwing for school friends, that's just awkward, no thank you. Lol if they want to come out for the weekend, fine but you need to come to me especially since she's giving me the cold shoulder. Of course two weeks before my kid's birthday. It's like she plans this shit. I don't have time for her drama. 

[NamasteBirches]

Not to mention, I've seen her post places they've gone about 3-4 hours away from them on weekend trips. What's an extra 2 hours to see us?
That pisses me off. I don't get upset for me, I get upset for DS because eventually he's gonna get old enough to get hurt by it himself & I gotta explain that his grandparents don't want to make an effort to see him because they want to take it out on me or whatever the hell it is they're doing, I don't know.

[jillywilly]

NamasteBirches, I'm sorry for the family drama. It sounds incredibly frustrating, and your parents are absolutely the ones missing out.

bellatrix, fingers crossed for YH!

Yesterday I had such a busy day at work - basically back to back meetings all day, in different locations to boot. I am so thankful that today I only have one meeting this afternoon, in my building, so I can actually just sit at my desk and (hopefully) get some work done. Only two more days (counting today, which is almost half over) until vacation!

[bellatrix]

Thanks ladies, we really need him to get a job like yesterday.

[NamasteBirches]

Thanks @chair
What's also funny is once upon a time we used to live in the same state/closer but obviously didn't have DS at the time & no one was knocking at our door dying to visit. I could go on & on about their shenanigans.
What sums it up is I'm always the worst & they can never do wrong. It's fucking annoying if I'm being blunt.

[misspeansmama]

@chair, it's just common courtesy for people to call before they stop over.

My neighbor is 50/50 on doing this. Some days he calls some days he just drops by. One time I was walking around the house naked and had to run upstairs to grab a robe before I could answer the door. Oh and to get upstairs you have to walk by the front door which has a rather large semi opaque window. Pretty sure he must have gotten a glimpse, unless he wasn't looking at the door when I walked by.

[NamasteBirches]

This one mom who I honestly don't really care for weirdly confronted me at pickup & asked who DS' teacher was this year. Luckily our kids aren't in the same class again. They've been together since preschool. DS used to like him but then this kid got ultra athletic & kinda brushed him aside. They've had a couple of camps together this summer too but he seems to hang with other kids for some reason.
I'm glad he won't have to be on the bday invite list tbh lol

[NamasteBirches]

Let's continue with this thread, shall we?

[Deleted]

NamasteBirches I usually send a text and evite for DS's birthday party. I don't blame for just letting it go, though.

DS is at his second day of K today. He seems to really like it. I couldn't pick hi up yesterday but I will today. I'm looking forward to seeing what he's doing when I get there.

[NamasteBirches]

1st day of school pic @rocknroll!!!???? I can't believe these kids are starting school already! Ahhhhhhhh

[NamasteBirches]

I'm in the process of formulating an email in response to a job for a local newspaper right on main street. They posted about it on FB yesterday. I want it dammit.

[Deleted]

Sorry about your family drama NamasteBirches. Also, good luck with your job search!


FX for your H's interview bellatrix

[Deleted]

DD is at school and very happy. I'm glad she seemed to pick right up from last year.

I'm back to my cleaning routine. Our floors are filthy because I simply haven't cleaned them most of the summer. I've been entertaining DD all day, every day. I went through the living room and her room and reorganized/tossed stuff that has accumulated over the summer.

[NamasteBirches]

I feel like we may need a 1st day of school pic thread guys

[misspeansmama]

DH is going to be back at my dad's night to work more on the deck. The thing I hate most about him not being home in the evenings is that I have to figure out something to make for DD and me to eat. She doesn't eat a whole lot, so I hate cooking pretty much for only me. I think we are just going with hotdogs and coneys tonight. Simple grilling.

[jillywilly]

Good luck with the job, NamasteBirches! What position is it for? Back in college, I was going to be a journalist - I even edited my college paper. And then I somehow wound up being a project manager turning office manager for a manufacturing company, lol. I like my job, but sometimes I still miss journalism.