Hair and passing

[fosterlove]

I was having a conversation with another biracial woman tonight and she said that she really liked my hair cut but that she was afraid to do it herself. I told her as silly as it is, it is the first time in life that I feel like I look like a black woman. She said that is the exact reason she is afraid to do it. In her mind it will be harder for her to pass.

It is in just the last couple years that I have realized that my hair has set me apart from my peers more than my skin color. And since I was young, I never wanted any attention brought to my hair.

[fosterlove]

I don't know if I have a question or if it was a was just a statement. But it was a surprising parallel to me.

[Queen Mamadala]

I could pass for "you must be mixed with something" when my hair was relaxed. I've done the relaxer>natural thing since 2004. I noticed that "passing" can depend on a lot of things, and hair is definitely one of them. But when my hair was straight, I still received "you don't quite belong here" looks depending on where I lived or visited, and even more so when it's natural. I've worn it natural going on three years, the longest stretch of time.

On a side note, my 5th grader, 1/4 Black, has very fair skin, with 3C hair. Her hair is what doesn't quite allow her to "pass." It's the big focal point among her white peers at school. They question her hair because she has such light skin.