cagoldi
Opal
Vegan Demon
Posts: 8,349 Likes: 53,471
|
Post by cagoldi on Aug 15, 2017 21:12:18 GMT -6
I think I was 7 when I had the talk. I remember being horrified and telling my mom "I'm never doing THAT!"
My dad would check in periodically like to let me know we could talk about things but I felt more comfortable with my mom just because she was a girl.
|
|
sands42
Platinum
Posts: 1,121 Likes: 9,761
|
Post by sands42 on Aug 16, 2017 9:46:55 GMT -6
I bathe my kids together and I am still shocked that B has never asked me why her and C have different body parts or has just never brought up anything at all about him having a penis. Sorry I know that didn't answer the birds and bees questions specifically Unicorn, but it seemed related. A 4 yo boy (with 2 older brothers) I babysat last week said, 'Why doesn't that baby have a penis?' When I was changing Letty's diaper 😂
|
|
jewels
Opal
Posts: 8,233 Likes: 43,719
|
Post by jewels on Aug 16, 2017 11:33:52 GMT -6
I, also, was terrified to tell my mom about my first period. Like klong11 I was pretty old, and I was the last of my friends to get it, so I knew what to do. I had to tell my mom so I could get supplies and I remember she told my dad and I was mortified. We are not super close and still don't talk about stuff. But she likes to think we are so she'll always try to bring things up and it's super awkward. When I first had sex I remember she figured it out (probably listening in on a phone conversation or something) and she cornered me in a car to ask me about it. I seriously wanted to jump out of a moving vehicle. As to talking to our kids about it, I think basically what everyone else said makes sense... Just start with age appropriate terminology and ask what they want to know. S asked me yesterday if they Dr. put him and his brother in my belly and I explained to him that mommy and daddy made the baby, it grew inside me, and when it was ready to come out, the dr. helped him come out so we could meet him. That seemed to be enough to satisfy him.
|
|
jewels
Opal
Posts: 8,233 Likes: 43,719
|
Post by jewels on Aug 16, 2017 11:36:26 GMT -6
Funny story, my brother's kids are much older... he said when his first was like 9 or 10 school sent a note home that they were going to have a pretty detailed discussion about sex, so he wanted to talk to them first. My brother sat down, explained everything, then asked if he had any questions. My nephew thought real hard, and my brother said he was panicked thinking about what he was going to ask, and my very literal nephew asked, "so like how many times do you have to go in and out?".
He is now in med school...
|
|
|
Post by flamingo on Aug 17, 2017 6:00:34 GMT -6
I see the book 'The Care and Keeping of You' recommended often for elementary-aged girls. Haven't really thought this far ahead yet, TBH. I tend to be awkward about this kind of thing. My mom was very open with us and I was comfortable asking ?s but I think it was easier bc we were all girls. My dad was *so* far removed from that kind of thing. B recently inquired about 'how baby C got out of your tummy'. I told him Daddy and the doctor helped. When he pressed for more specifics, I punted and told him to ask Uncle [BIL] (the OBGYN)
|
|
|
The talk
Aug 17, 2017 7:25:42 GMT -6
via mobile
Post by lahdeedah on Aug 17, 2017 7:25:42 GMT -6
We never had the birds and the bees talk when I was young. I learned of it from friends and school. I would never feel comfortable talking to my mom about that, but I want to be the opposite with my kids. I want them to be comfortable asking me anything.
I remember when I was in second grade, a boy told me about condoms. He described them as this long thing with a pointy tip. For a long time I thought a condom looked something like a scepter or an arrow. LOL.
|
|
kim22
Amethyst
Posts: 5,251 Likes: 35,533
|
The talk
Aug 17, 2017 19:47:22 GMT -6
via mobile
Post by kim22 on Aug 17, 2017 19:47:22 GMT -6
I see the book 'The Care and Keeping of You' recommended often for elementary-aged girls. Haven't really thought this far ahead yet, TBH. I tend to be awkward about this kind of thing. My mom was very open with us and I was comfortable asking ?s but I think it was easier bc we were all girls. My dad was *so* far removed from that kind of thing. B recently inquired about 'how baby C got out of your tummy'. I told him Daddy and the doctor helped. When he pressed for more specifics, I punted and told him to ask Uncle [BIL] (the OBGYN) Being a C section mom, I take the easy way out. "The doctor cuts the baby out with a knife."
|
|
kim22
Amethyst
Posts: 5,251 Likes: 35,533
|
The talk
Aug 17, 2017 19:50:14 GMT -6
via mobile
Post by kim22 on Aug 17, 2017 19:50:14 GMT -6
DS1 recently asked if I wanted the new baby. DD answered for me "it's not mommy's choice, if a baby picks your belly, then you just have to deal with it."
|
|
inthekitty
Emerald
My eyes are up here.
Posts: 10,374 Likes: 68,789
|
Post by inthekitty on Aug 18, 2017 11:41:46 GMT -6
I never had a formal "talk." I was also mortified when I started my period and didn't tell my mom. It really depends on the kid as far as if you need one big "talk" or not. I'm hoping it can just be an ongoing conversation here and there with adding what's necessary as they get older. Maddie guessed incorrectly about how babies come out and I told her they come out of vulvas. She said "gross" and moved on without any other questions of how they get there. When she's older and has more questions she'll get more answers. I think if my kids don't initiate much more though, I'd make sure to sit them down and go over it by age 10/before middle school. Wait too long and things get more awkward since it's all the sudden a big new topic or friends start filling their heads with nonsense. Or in some cases they're traumatized by puberty and not understanding what's going on with their bodies.
I have no idea why, but I got a 17 magazine in the mail the other day. It was actually addressed to me. I flipped through it so I could see how out of touch I am (I had no clue who was on the cover). There was a 2 page section with a quiz on STIs (my STI-Q was A+). I thought I need to write to the editor to ask them to expand that section and include pictures. (Not really.)
|
|
|
Post by ladystrat on Aug 20, 2017 10:44:39 GMT -6
We gave them age appropriate information along the way, and by eleven we sat them down for the talk. One had already gotten the details in health; the other had NO clue. We told them they could ask us any question and we would answer it. So they know more about our sex life than any kid should ever know. As an aside, you just have to plow through it. We were really careful to distinguish between it being private and not being shameful. I really wanted it to be clear that there's nothing wrong with it.
|
|
kim22
Amethyst
Posts: 5,251 Likes: 35,533
|
The talk
Aug 20, 2017 18:59:19 GMT -6
via mobile
Post by kim22 on Aug 20, 2017 18:59:19 GMT -6
We gave them age appropriate information along the way, and by eleven we sat them down for the talk. One had already gotten the details in health; the other had NO clue. We told them they could ask us any question and we would answer it. So they know more about our sex life than any kid should ever know. As an aside, you just have to plow through it. We were really careful to distinguish between it being private and not being shameful. I really wanted it to be clear that there's nothing wrong with it. Your hired!
|
|