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Post by seventythree on Aug 16, 2017 10:18:45 GMT -6
Once DH went back to work, it was hard. Really hard. I did lots of crying and lots of "what the hell were we thinking?" I wore the baby as much as I could and interacted with big brother. It got easier eventually, but it was a rough start. Oh, jeez. That sounds like me post-DD, and that was with ONE kid! I'm also planning to wear the baby a ton, so I can focus on big sister without completely neglecting the little one. |
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Post by seventythree on Aug 16, 2017 10:25:34 GMT -6
So we've basically done the same as everyone else. We've been reading a picture book called "You're Getting a Baby Sister", and we have two others that I think are both called "I'm a Big Sister". I was going to save those for after the baby is here, but DD is into them now so *shrug*, whatever works right?
We talk about baby sister a lot, DD will pat my belly and say "baby", and I try to really emphasize how she's such a big girl and going to be a big sister and such a help to Mama, etc. We do have a few acquaintances with newborns, so I always take the opportunity to be like "see, that's so-and-so's baby sibling, and you're getting a baby sister too..."
How much is actually sinking in to my 2yo's little head? Who knows, but it's all we can really do.
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Post by chitownsully on Aug 16, 2017 11:16:13 GMT -6
Once DH went back to work, it was hard. Really hard. I did lots of crying and lots of "what the hell were we thinking?" I wore the baby as much as I could and interacted with big brother. It got easier eventually, but it was a rough start. I'm also planning to wear the baby a ton, so I can focus on big sister without completely neglecting the little one. +1  |
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rachydc
Sapphire
Posts: 2,686 Likes: 11,472 
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Post by rachydc on Aug 31, 2017 11:56:37 GMT -6
I wanted to resurrect this thread because I came across this article "Dos and Don’ts of Bringing Home Your Second Baby" and really liked it. I want to print out this part and tape it to every wall in my house so I remember it lol The author has some great ideas! From the article... " DO Let Your Older Child Take Ownership of Their New Baby
When WTFather and I found out The Professor was on his way, we were excited to let Birdy in on it. We didn’t tell her WE were having a baby. We told her SHE was getting a baby. She was totally into it right from the start. Our plan had some faults, however. The biggest one being that we totally underestimated how long 6 months feels to a preschooler. But don’t fret! She let us know. And know. And know… Six months in preschool time equals approximately 4 million is he here yets + 20 pounds of crafts made for the baby + 3 months of being pregnant herself (with a big sister, of course,) +183 announcements to strangers that mommy “has a penis inside her, it’s not daddy’s penis, it’s The Professors penis,” + 45 days of mimicking morning sickness by spiting in the toilet, holding up her hand and announcing “I ok!” In layman’s terms: a really effing long time. I don’t regret getting her excited about her baby. I regret telling her 6 months in advance. If I go for a 4.0, I won’t tell the kids until about 3 months out. Introducing 1.0 to 2.0 can be tricky. Based on my own experience and an unscientific polling of 4 or 5 women with whom I shared the line for this morning’s coffee, the easiest way to do this is on neutral turf. We chose the hospital. I had the nurses remove The Professor before Birdy arrived. She was excited to meet her new brother, of course, but her REAL concern was for mommy. So I held her on my lap. She pushed buttons. We read books. It was great. She relaxed once she trusted I was ok. Once she settled, the nurses brought in The Professor. She touched him and kissed him and held him (with assistance, of course.) We celebrated his birthday by sharing a cupcake and exchanging small gifts. (A baby doll for her, a 6 pack of Pacifico for him. Don’t judge. I didn’t share with the baby.) Then I called the nurses to remove him from the room. We said our goodbyes and she skipped off to grandma’s house. My daughter never for a moment felt like she’d been replaced. We avoided the hurt feelings that surely would have occurred had we been forced to explain why she had to leave but The Professor got to stay. We did the same when Whammy arrived. I wouldn’t change a thing about the process if we jumped again. 1.0 is going to be obsessed with his new toy baby. He’s going to want to love him and kiss him and show him all of his stuff. That’s ok. Let him. Because: puppies. Ever see puppies playing? They get a little rough. One yelps. Everything stops. They go back at it. Siblings are essentially puppies. Let 1.0 touch and play with the baby without interfering. You want them to develop positive feelings about interacting with their new sibling. They become fearful and resentful fast if all they hear is “Be careful! Don’t hurt the baby!” It took all my willpower sometimes to not jump in when I thought Birdy was surely going to break The Professor, (even more so when it became 2 against 1.) But babies are durable. If The Professor was unhappy, he’d cry. And I could say, “He’s crying because he doesn’t like you standing on his head like that.” Which makes way more sense to a kid than OMG YOU’RE GOING TO CAUSE A CRANIAL HEMORAGE!! (I still have to use that line and each of them takes at least one kick to the head a day. Maybe I was a little too encouraging of their relationship?) So try to relax. Gentle redirection is sufficient interference 99.9% of the time. (Meaning, you still have to, you know, supervise, and jump in if your eldest emerges from the hall closet wearing a gold Lamé unitard and carrying a folding chair.) Your first won’t hurt the baby on purpose. And the baby won’t break." |
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