~*~ PgAL/PAIF check-in week of August 13 ~*~

[muscari]

Welcome to the PgAL and PAIF check-in!

This is a weekly check-in for those of us who are pregnant after loss and/or infertility. Feel free to jump in any time!
The check-in is a safe place to share all things that come with being PgAL and/or PAIF.
Use this thread to ask questions, share your excitement/rage/worries/whatever, or to ask for support!

Please come on in and let us know how you're doing, and know you are always welcome
to come back throughout the week whenever you need to!! ♥

*~*~*~*~*


PgAL Mantras
aplacetomeet.freeforums.net/thread/373/pgal-mantras

PAIF Mantras
aplacetomeet.freeforums.net/post/47020/thread


**Loss/trigger warnings are not necessary here**

*~*~*~*~*

Weekly check-in:

How far along are you?

How are you feeling (physically/emotionally)?

Any appointments or milestones coming up this week?

Do you need any thoughts or prayers?

Anything else you'd like to share?

[muscari]

Of course those of you with outside babies already are also still very welcome to post in this check-in! I will change up the text of the check-in next week (if I remember) to also include parenting after loss/IF!

[elliecat17]

How are we already at August 13th!!!!!!!

How far along are you? 10 days to go until official due date! Do 38 + 4

How are you feeling (physically/emotionally)? Physically I just hurt. Baby is now sitting so low it's pinching a nerve in my right leg and sometimes when I walk I loose all feeling in that leg and it sort of buckles. YAY SO FUN! Also when I roll over in bed my hips or pelvic bone pop. And then I suffer guilt at complaining about being pregnant when it's what we've wanted for sooooo long. Oh! And bad cramps and more BH today.

Emotionally I want baby here NOW. But I am also getting a little worried. This is going to be a big change. Will H and I be good parents? Can I manage this?


Any appointments or milestones coming up this week?
Thursday with the other midwife because mine is on vacation. Hopefully we do a cervical check. We may also get an U/S because baby was measuring abnormally large last week. My MW didn't seem too concerned because I am short so there isn't much space for baby, but if the numbers are really high again I know they want to check.

Do you need any thoughts or prayers?
Nope!

Anything else you'd like to share?
I just feel so guilty about being miserable and complaining. Deep down I really am happy about being pregnant and I know I will miss it a little. Ah such is the mess of the PGAL mind.

[addymac]

elliecat17 pgal brain is such a pain right now. I feel the same- so guilty to want him out, after everything that's happened. I remember wanting to throat punch my coworkers last fall/winter when they'd complain about still being pregnant after my loss, and swore I'd never say it myself, but here I am, wishing he'd just come out!! I still want to punch them though. I think they just eat crackers for me, haha.

[addymac]

How far along are you? 39+1 -- holy cow how did I get here??

How are you feeling (physically/emotionally)?
P- I have good days and bad days. Constant hip / back pain. My crotch feels better from the cervical check but still so much pressure. My ankles / feet are still swollen and just HURT. and my fingers hurt whenever I wake up from being swollen, but that subsides. Idk. Then I'll have a day where I sleep a lot and feel great and want to run around and DO IT ALLLLL but I'm lazy af. 🤷🏻‍♀️

E- nervous. Nervous at the idea of labor and it happening when I'm at work overnight and needing to leave and screwing my coworkers over. Nervous at the entire labor thing. Nervous at the idea of having to be induced and end up w a c/s. Nervous something will be wrong with him when he's born / something will go wrong before I can deliver him. Feeling badly that I want him out.

Any appointments or milestones coming up this week? Thursday for my weekly.

Do you need any thoughts or prayers? I'm okay 🙂 Unless I go into labor, then all the thoughts for speedy easy labor! Heh

Anything else you'd like to share? DH asked me when I thought I'd get the nesting urge 😕 Why haven't I really gotten it? I mean last month I freaked out after my Dr said his nurse patients never make it to their due date - and rushed to finish the nursery, etc. so it's all done minus one last load of laundry to be done. But it didn't seem like a real sense of nesting. I just am like 🤷🏻‍♀️ Am I broken? Does this mean I'm going to be a terrible mother? A sign that I am too ambivalent? I don't even know. I just want to lay on the couch and eat chips and salsa and drink ice tea and watch game of thrones and movies. No thank you to cleaning up the house before baby comes. And a big fuck no to cooking 🙅🏻🙅🏻🙅🏻 But I have to go food shopping now 😭

[elliecat17]

addymac lol yeah. I too swore that. And that I wouldn't complain. But to be fair I would never do so in front of others. Only here and at home with H because I would hate to cause someone the same pain I felt. Ps I don't like your coworkers.

[addymac]

Aug 13, 2017 15:15:11 GMT -6 elliecat17 said:

addymac lol yeah. I too swore that. And that I wouldn't complain. But to be fair I would never do so in front of others. Only here and at home with H because I would hate to cause someone the same pain I felt. Ps I don't like your coworkers.

lol I don't like these coworkers either. I do the same. I just smile and say "oh he doesn't seem interested in coming out, so we will see!" But at home, poor DH just hears my complaints. I apologized for complaining so much the other day and he was so sweet and said it was fine, etc. but I still feel guilty. Meh

[cali]

elliecat17, I feel bad complaining too, but like you I don't really complain in front of others, I just save it all for you guys (sorry!).

addymac, I seriously could have written your post myself. I feel all those things too. Also I totally haven't gotten the nesting urge at all. My house is the messiest it's like ever been though so today I've been cleaning like crazy because I realized people will want to be coming over to meet the baby and everything looks like shit and once she's here I won't have time. But it definitely wasn't any nesting urge and I'm taking jy sweet time doing it and also feeling lazy af about it. I'm kind of hoping all the work puts me into labor though (lol).

[cali]

How far along are you?
38w3d

How are you feeling (physically/emotionally)?
I feel like I write the same thing for this every week lol. Physically I've been having some menstrual like cramps and also some random infrequent contractions with back pain that hurt a lot but apparently they aren't doing shit because they checked my cervix on Friday and it was soft but closed and thick.

Emotionally, I need this baby to come. I had what I think was an anxiety or panic attack on Thursday because I was convinced she wasn't moving enough and she was passing kick counts but her movements felt week and I was alone and it was storming like crazy out and I didn't what to do. I was drenched in sweat and my heart was racing. Then she started kicking away all of the sydden (Also, I looked out our back window right then and saw a rainbow across our backyard, it was so cool and I felt like this baby's sibling was telling me everything is ok). So basically my emotions are all over the place and I don't feel like I can keep doing this.

Any appointments or milestones coming up this week?
Regular weekly NST and ON check up on Friday if she doesn't come before then. We'll also start talking induction at that point because they don't want me going beyond 40w (do not want to be induced 😣).

Do you need any thoughts or prayers?
Just that this baby comes soon and I don't need to be induced!

Anything else you'd like to share?
I think I've ranted enough. Thanks for listening.

[muscari]

**hugs** for you all! It's midnight here and I totally forgot the time while working on my freezer meal prep list and finalizing my grocery pick up list for tomorrow.. so will tag&comment tomorrow!

[Deleted]

addymac and cali, I never got that nesting urge either. I wanted things done before baby came, but it wasn't how others have described it either. I also never went into labor either, so idk if that has anything to do it with.

[addymac]

Aug 13, 2017 16:17:20 GMT -6 @easilyunamused said:

addymac and cali, I never got that nesting urge either. I wanted things done before baby came, but it wasn't how others have described it either. I also never went into labor either, so idk if that has anything to do it with.

At least I'm not the only one! But the whole never ended up in labor- I hope that's not a sign!! Imagine if it were that simple- you never get the urge to nest = induction 100% of the time, haha. 😳

[Deleted]

Aug 13, 2017 16:20:47 GMT -6 addymac said:

Aug 13, 2017 16:17:20 GMT -6 @easilyunamused said:

addymac and cali, I never got that nesting urge either. I wanted things done before baby came, but it wasn't how others have described it either. I also never went into labor either, so idk if that has anything to do it with.

At least I'm not the only one! But the whole never ended up in labor- I hope that's not a sign!! Imagine if it were that simple- you never get the urge to nest = induction 100% of the time, haha. 😳

Yikes! I sure hope not.

[king26]

How far along are you? 38+4

How are you feeling (physically/emotionally)? I'm just done. Like those of you above I feel awful complaining since we've wanted this for 4 years and I always said I'd never complain but I'm ready for an outside baby even though I know it's going to be hard. I really just complain to you all and my H. But I'm exhausted, I can't sleep because I pee every hour, it hurts to roll over, I have an ear infection, and I just feel like crap overall.

Any appointments or milestones coming up this week? Thursday is my weekly appointment. Like elliecat17 , I may get an u/s but it's because baby is measuring smaller and the midwife is worried he's way too smooshed up in my pelvis. If she even suggests it this time I'm going to push for it. I just want to make sure he's ok in there and if not then he needs to come out.

Do you need any thoughts or prayers?
Nope

Anything else you'd like to share? I'm supposed to go to dinner with friends tomorrow but the drive is like 45 minutes each way, I feel like crap, and my appetite is hit or miss. I'm trying to decide if I should cancel or not. On one hand it's probably the last time DH and I will go out with our friends for a while but on the other hand I don't really want to drive that far, answer a ton of pregnancy questions, spend a lot of money on food I may not eat, then drive back home.

addymac , I'm nervous about all the labor stuff and the aftermath too. I didn't really think of it much until we did the hospital tour last week now I'm having anxiety about it all.

cali , I swear this baby doesn't move whenever I'm anxious. After my appointment last week when the midwife was a little worried about how he was measuring and had trouble finding the heartbeat he barely moved all day which freaked me out. Then he's been a moving, dancing machine all weekend. I give up tryign to figure out what the deal is. I hope the baby comes soon and you don't have to be induced.

muscari , You better get on those freezer meals! You are only days away from having this baby! What meals are you making? I ended up making 15 freezer meals for dinner, 8 jars of canned pie filling, and like 4 different types of breakfast breads that I sliced, wrapped, and froze. I'm hoping all of this food gets us through the first month!

[cali]

king26, I wouldn't blame you if you cancelled for tomorrow. I have absolutely no desire to do anything anymore. I never even changed out of my pajamas today. We were supposed to go to dinner at my aunt's and I cancelled cuz I didn't feel like answering 800 questions about how I'm feeling and other pregnancy/baby stuff. DH suggested we go out to eat just the two of us and I was like nope, that means I have to get dressed. We ordered pizza instead. Basically I'm a miserable beast.

[elliecat17]

king26 if they want to see you have them meet you closer

[thinkchocolate05]

cali and king26 I so commiserate with you on movement. I have been freaking out about it so much, and it's driving dh crazy. Baby boy had two days of slightly reduced movements (still meeting kick counts) and I was planning to call today if it continued, but they came back today. It's so nerve-wracking, though.

[king26]

elliecat17, and cali, Part of the issue is we all live within like 10 minutes of each other but were going to drive to the closest decent restaurant. I told DH I didn't really feel like going and he's like ok great, how about if you and I just go? I was like no, I don't feel like going period. I just have no motivation. Going to the grocery store yesterday exhausted me so much I came home, put everything away, and crawled back into bed for 2 hours. I didn't sleep but I watched a movie and just lay there.

[elliecat17]

thinkchocolate05 cali and king26 baby has been slow on my end too
So much so that I am having trouble counting kicks. So I made H pull out the dopplar and listen last night.

[elliecat17]

king26 gotcha. Could you do a pajama party instead? Someone goes and picks up food someone else gets dessert and they come and hang on your couch while you relax?

[king26]

So I went to the dinner. I felt guilty not going and I'm glad we went. It was fun and probably our last time out with other couples for a while. We had a great dinner and while I'm totally exhausted it was worth it. The other three couples made us a Shutter.fly book of advice for when the baby comes with pictures of us, the other couples, and the other couples children. It is really nice and super thoughtful so I'm glad we went.

[elliecat17]

Aug 14, 2017 20:14:10 GMT -6 king26 said:

So I went to the dinner. I felt guilty not going and I'm glad we went. It was fun and probably our last time out with other couples for a while. We had a great dinner and while I'm totally exhausted it was worth it. The other three couples made us a Shutter.fly book of advice for when the baby comes with pictures of us, the other couples, and the other couples children. It is really nice and super thoughtful so I'm glad we went.

I'm glad it went well, and that's super cute!

[addymac]

king26 aww that's so sweet of them! I'm sorry you're wiped but I'm glad you had a good time!