After Tuesday, even the calendar goes W T F. RANDOMS

[Rama]

Aug 8, 2017 13:47:43 GMT -6 cougarette said:

OMG yall I am so pissed. This is long, so feel free to skip. Tl;Dr one of the execs here is an asshole who apparently doesn't support nursing moms.

So we had the meeting with the team to talk about our concerns with the space. I brought up the meeting room in terms of how I would need it and was completely talked down to and humiliated. I'm not even sure what this guy's role is, but like I said earlier he's my boss's boss. He was all, "well actually the law doesn't require it" (after I confirmed that we are currently at 49 employees and will be over 50 come January) and I went, "uhhhh" and he goes, "do you want to look at the law right now?" and I said, "Yeah!" (we didn't, but continued with the meeting) He then goes on to say that I could come to the old office 10 minutes away, and I said, "3 times a day for 30 minutes each?" and he said, "Or you can stay here. Maybe QA will stay in this building". Oh ok, yeah so I'm just going to splinter off from the team. It's not like I need to talk to the guys all day every day. I mean WTF. The guy was literally yelling at me.

So then I messaged my boss later saying that I didn't think I deserved to be talked down to like that. Meanwhile he sent me an email saying that he didn't know the exact ACA provision, but it shouldn't matter whether it's required or not, that it should be done. He even talked to his wife about it. I sent him a link to it from the Dept of Labor website and he was saying it might be the part about non-exempt employees and FSLA and whatnot. I don't know what any of that shit means, so maybe I don't qualify. But still! He's on my side completely, but for this other asshole - wouldn't you want to keep your good employees happy and want to return after 12 lousy, unpaid weeks?

I understand the concern, because this would be a temporary office while they find a permanent solution for the whole, growing company. But the thing is, the year that we're there is the year that I'll be pumping and trying to feed my kid. I'm actually surprised he didn't just tell me to use formula.

Anyway, it may be a non-issue because maybe they can put in the office and all will be well. I'm waiting to see if my boss does anything before going to HR. In related news, I need to figure out who HR is these days. I hope it's not Mr. Asshole.

Again, this was in the middle of a meeting with my (mostly male) teammates.

We just now talked about a part of the move - we'd have to park about a block away. It's raining right now and they were talking about how well at least I'd get the spot at the building. I said I may be gone by then since it's early Oct when we'd be moving. I then said, "and I guess I won't be coming back and everyone will be happy" they said, "no one would be happy with that". Guys. These are grumpy programmers! So basically everyone else is on my side. I almost started to cry again.

I'd be SOOOOOO up in arms.  I'd have gone straight to HR and made a sexual discrimination report against that guy.  You brought this upon yourself, buddy.  Check your state laws, too, because some of them carry additional protections.  I'd also check your employee handbook, if you have one handy, to see if it is addressed, and then make sure that it is explicitly stated what your company's stance on nursing mothers is, if not for your case now, for any future cases.

Homeboy is acting a fool and you have every right to slap him across the face with the fullest extent of the law and your company policies.  I hope he gets stung by a bee.  On his ear.  Or somewhere else unpleasant.

[cougarette]

Aug 8, 2017 13:59:01 GMT -6 Rama said:

I'd be SOOOOOO up in arms.  I'd have gone straight to HR and made a sexual discrimination report against that guy.  You brought this upon yourself, buddy.  Check your state laws, too, because some of them carry additional protections.  I'd also check your employee handbook, if you have one handy, to see if it is addressed, and then make sure that it is explicitly stated what your company's stance on nursing mothers is, if not for your case now, for any future cases.

Homeboy is acting a fool and you have every right to slap him across the face with the fullest extent of the law and your company policies.  I hope he gets stung by a bee.  On his ear.  Or somewhere else unpleasant.

You know what, now that you mention it, I'm pretty sure it is in our handbook that we're given time and space to pump. I'll need to double check. Thanks for the reminder!

[thatgirlrachel]

My face when I see Rama's name in my notifications:

[chitownsully]

*Slowly opens the door to O17 and shyly waves*

Hey guys! It's been about a month since I posted. Between travel and work and vacation, it's been busy. But I've been lurking the last couple days and wanted to jump back in. I cannot believe we are two months out. I'm scared. Who am I kidding - I neeeed you guys!

Summary of my last month: Trip out west. Lots of back pain. Saw a chiropractor. Chiropractor said, "can't help." Stopped working out because of back pain. Back pain got better. Went on vacation and ate too much junk food. Looked at scale. Cried. Screw back pain. Back at gym this week. The end.

[blackmamba]

cougarette, I'm getting angry and near tears for you. That is so frustrating. I hope your boss takes care of things for you and HR is supportive. This was interesting:

www.dol.gov/whd/regs/compliance/whdfs73.htm

Especially this section:

"Employers with fewer than 50 employees are not subject to the FLSA break time requirement if compliance with the provision would impose an undue hardship. Whether compliance would be an undue hardship is determined by looking at the difficulty or expense of compliance for a specific employer in comparison to the size, financial resources, nature, and structure of the employer’s business. All employees who work for the covered employer, regardless of work site, are counted when determining whether this exemption may apply." If you'll be over 50 employees in January, then they need to comply. If the company is under 50 at that point, they'd have to prove their is an undue hardship if they don't comply.

I hope you get some answers soon and I hope someone from HR (or legal) puts this A-hole in his place.

[blackmamba]

YAY Rama and chitownsully! Great to see you both!!!

[cythe]

FRANDS

[chitownsully]

cougarette, I am furious for you. You had every right to stand up that that asshole and I'm glad you are doing more research. I really hope they come around and provide the space. It's such a small thing they can do to make their employees feel more comfortable. It's not that hard. Some people can be so freaking dense and small minded.

[chitownsully]

In other news... my belly button is really really itchy. Normal? LOL

[cougarette]

Thanks y'all. They are looking into the meeting space more and we're following up in 2 weeks. Hopefully I get better news.

[cougarette]

I'm seriously so glad to see folks coming back around. The band is back together!

[gamergirl]

AHHH, Rama, I'm so happy you're back!!! Congrats on the fantastic news, we're all so happy for you!

cougarette I'm so sorry any of this happened, that guy sounds like the worst. Big hugs. <3

chitownsully Hey girl hey!

[gamergirl]

Aug 8, 2017 14:16:29 GMT -6 thatgirlrachel said:

My face when I see Rama's name in my notifications:

Same!

[gamergirl]

Took DS to a new splash pad this morning, it's a quick 2 min drive from our apartments and I just found out about it (we usually drive 10+ minutes in heavy traffic to get to either of the other 2 near by)! The location is gorgeous, and it has a big park right next to it. We were there for nearly 2 hours, and I'm super bummed that it might rain tomorrow because I want to go back everyday!

[rebeccabunch]

Aug 8, 2017 14:03:31 GMT -6 cougarette said:

Aug 8, 2017 13:59:01 GMT -6 Rama said:

I'd be SOOOOOO up in arms.  I'd have gone straight to HR and made a sexual discrimination report against that guy.  You brought this upon yourself, buddy.  Check your state laws, too, because some of them carry additional protections.  I'd also check your employee handbook, if you have one handy, to see if it is addressed, and then make sure that it is explicitly stated what your company's stance on nursing mothers is, if not for your case now, for any future cases.

Homeboy is acting a fool and you have every right to slap him across the face with the fullest extent of the law and your company policies.  I hope he gets stung by a bee.  On his ear.  Or somewhere else unpleasant.

You know what, now that you mention it, I'm pretty sure it is in our handbook that we're given time and space to pump. I'll need to double check. Thanks for the reminder!

You should absolutely contact HR. Don't think twice. It's mandated by law and he should not have humiliated you. Please do this.
ETA just saw blackmamba s post. She pasted the right information. Even if your company is under 50 employees you should not have been humiliated.

[moonandback141]

cougarette ugh that's so not cool. One of my friends also had a boss that tried to play the "FMLA rules don't apply here" card. He got her on the "undue hardship" provision. I really hope you get a room and it all works out. I would second going to HR with this matter.

[doodlemommy]

Well I went to Costco and now I'm hanging out at home with Netflix and coffee ☕️! I have a private client coming tonight and then DH has a meeting so I have the whole evening to myself tonight too, this never happens!!

[doodlemommy]

I do not understand FMLA and all the details that go with it but I am so sorry it has to be this hard. Your employers should not make you feel guilty or called out for needing a private space to pump, not cool.

[danvers]

cougarette I'm so sorry that happened to you. I don't do well with confrontation, even if I'm in the right, and usually there are tears involved. How utterly frustrating, I hope a reasonable solution can be found and that asshat gets some comeuppance.

[danvers]

I was on my feet way too long today but I'm excited for the first student day tomorrow. I'm actually glad I wore the shoes I did so I know they are not going to work for being 7.5+ months pregnant and on my feet all day before Woth kids. I may just have to bust out the ugly but comfy tennis shoes with my work clothes unless anyone has better suggestions for footwear. I'm tired but in a good way.

[mkrupar]

Well hello! I'm happy to see more friends returning! ::waves to Rama & chitownsully::

I visited some former coworkers for lunch in Alexandria today, then my dad and I went to see Step. OMG so good. Highly recommend.

Hope everyone's had a good day. I'm about to go to bed in hopes that my Tylenol kicks in and this headache goes away. I need this weather to stop fluctuating so much. These barometric headaches are killing me.

[Taitai]

Aug 8, 2017 15:01:31 GMT -6 rebeccabunch said:

Aug 8, 2017 14:03:31 GMT -6 cougarette said:

You know what, now that you mention it, I'm pretty sure it is in our handbook that we're given time and space to pump. I'll need to double check. Thanks for the reminder!

You should absolutely contact HR. Don't think twice. It's mandated by law and he should not have humiliated you. Please do this.
ETA just saw blackmamba s post. She pasted the right information. Even if your company is under 50 employees you should not have been humiliated.

cougarette +1 to contacting HR. What happened to you in that meeting was inexcusable. I am really really angry for you - what a total asshole. I am glad you stood up for yourself during the meeting and told the guy that you'd like to read the law right then and there. I'm also glad your boss and teammates are on your side. I do wish someone had stood up for you during the meeting though. I can't sit back and see that shit happen to others - I wish your immediate boss had said something. Esp if the guy was basically yelling at you.

This is me to your boss' boss:



ETA tag

[britt]

So happy to see lots of lovely mamas making their way back here!! yay!! <3

[duskymonkey]

Aug 8, 2017 13:27:41 GMT -6 Rama said:

Hey, pretty ladies. How you doin'?

OMG! Rama! cythe , has been updating us! So incredibly happy for you and Mr. Rama! Totally made my day seeing you here! Sending you all the sticky vibes and the most boring 9 months ever!
I'll attempt gifing again. Hopefully it works!



SaveSaveSaveSave

[duskymonkey]

cougarette, I think everyone has the same advice and so impressed that you stood up for yourself in front of everyone! Big applause for you! I hope HR will be able to help you and future moms at your company. I had a similar situation with DS since I was the first female employee in 20 yrs besides the owner that had a baby at my previous company and had to "fight" for my rights.

[August Blooms]

cougarette I'm just catching up on this thread. I'm angry for you. That is a terrible way to be treated.

chitownsully I hope you enjoyed your vacation. And good for you for still going to the gym, I have been terribly inactive this pregnancy.

gamergirl I just found a great splash pad too, it's a 15 minute drive but totally worth it.