What do you plan to do differently?

[jessijean]

Oh, I'm also going to be using my pump in the hospital despite what the nurses want me to do. I'll try BFing again but it just did not work the first time and I begged the nurse the last day to show me how to set up my pump. She was the only one who would listen to me when I said BFing just wasn't working.

[sarahh]

+1 to trying to breastfeed again but not getting down on myself if it doesn't happen. I also have flat nipples and low supply. I plan to breastfeed but if baby isn't happy or gaining, I am going to supplement from the start. With DD she kept losing weight and when I did a weighted feeding I learned that she was not getting enough so I started supplementing and her demeanor did a 180. I would like to try to breastfeed at the beginning then EP as much as I can to mix with formula for at least a few months like I did with DD.

I also want to actually take it easy and take the medicine after my RCS. I didn't do that last time and I think healing took a lot longer than normal for that reason.

As soon as I get cleared for exercise I need to get into a routine. I didn't do that with DD and started this pregnancy at a higher weight than I would have liked. I definitely want to focus more on myself and being happy with my body this time around.

[mrsp84]

Aug 8, 2017 7:37:02 GMT -6 dragonflyinn said:

I will also stress less about the size of my baby. DD has always been around 5-10th percentile, at some points as low as 3rd. Her doctors were never worried, she was content & happy, passing all her developmental milestones. But I was constantly stressed about it, especially when she didn't hit any of the "regular" growth spurts at their "regular" times. Well she turned one and gained three pounds that month. She's still 10th percentile but perfect.

So this next time if I make another tiny baby I will try not to freak out so much haha.

Yes! I got so many comments from people about DD's size. She's still so petite but can put food away like nobody's business. She was getting what she needed and was happy. It enraged me that people actually thought I wasn't feeding my baby.

To go with your milestones: I was always comparing (as were others) her to MH's cousins DD who was born a week after my DD. His DD was ahead of all milestones from feeding herself to walking. Whenever we'd get together for family events, family members would say "oh look Jane can crawl, why isn't your DD crawling?" It pissed me off. I tried to not let it get to me but it was so hard. Turns out my DD just likes to do things on her own time. But people would not stop comparing. And since my DD was "late" in almost every milestone, I think it'll be easier for me to not compare DD2 with her. At least that's my hope. 🤞🏻

[dragonflyinn]

Aug 8, 2017 8:36:21 GMT -6 mrsp84 said:

Aug 8, 2017 7:37:02 GMT -6 dragonflyinn said:

I will also stress less about the size of my baby. DD has always been around 5-10th percentile, at some points as low as 3rd. Her doctors were never worried, she was content & happy, passing all her developmental milestones. But I was constantly stressed about it, especially when she didn't hit any of the "regular" growth spurts at their "regular" times. Well she turned one and gained three pounds that month. She's still 10th percentile but perfect.

So this next time if I make another tiny baby I will try not to freak out so much haha.

Yes! I got so many comments from people about DD's size. She's still so petite but can put food away like nobody's business. She was getting what she needed and was happy. It enraged me that people actually thought I wasn't feeding my baby.

To go with your milestones: I was always comparing (as were others) her to MH's cousins DD who was born a week after my DD. His DD was ahead of all milestones from feeding herself to walking. Whenever we'd get together for family events, family members would say "oh look Jane can crawl, why isn't your DD crawling?" It pissed me off. I tried to not let it get to me but it was so hard. Turns out my DD just likes to do things on her own time. But people would not stop comparing. And since my DD was "late" in almost every milestone, I think it'll be easier for me to not compare DD2 with her. At least that's my hope. 🤞🏻

Ugh I hate peoples comments. I had strangers tell me "oh there's no way your DD can be walking, look at those scrawny legs how can she hold herself up?" EYE ROLL. DD was also "late" crawling & walking (but still normal haha) so I think that I will definitely be more chill about it this time. I think it will be hard in the area of chatter though, DD can talk your ear off and is very advanced verbally. I know #2 will probably not be quite as chatty or verbal just bc big sister will not give anyone else time to speak 😂 So I'll have to make sure I'm not comparing too much for that.

[helloerrbody]

Aug 7, 2017 18:11:11 GMT -6 readinglove said:

helloerrbody We supplemented from the get-go as well. DS was a big baby (10 pounds 11 ounces), so his glucose levels were monitored after birth and it took a few days to get him up where he needed to be. Super curious about the diagnosis... how did that happen? I was lucky to get 4 ounces in 24 hours pumping, and tried everything under the sun to increase my supply.

I worked with an IBCLC and did every thing under the sun to increase my supply and it wouldn't budge. I have implants so it was after looking at my pre-implant pictures that I could clearly see pretty much all of the physical markers of IGT. I had tons of blood work run to rule out any other factors for my low supply and they all were normal. Basically my breasts do not have enough glands and tissue to produce more than about 15 oz a day at my max.

I used a Lact-Aid SNS to supplement at the breast with mainly donor milk and some formula. I actually still nurse DS at 16 months but probably don't make more than an oz a day. I use the SNS still at nap and nighttime, because he still loves to nurse.

[sweetsurprise]

First and foremost, I will try to be more calm and less anxious early on. I think I'll have better perspective that each problem I face will be a short phase that will pass.

I exclusively pumped for 11 months last time since DS would get so angry at how long it took to get the milk out of me with Bfing. He basically refused to latch. He loved the bottle. I think I will try to wait to introduce a bottle/paci for 2 weeks to see if this babe will BF vs. a bottle. I will say, there were some great benefits from pumping for me. H shared in the feedings. It was fast. I could see exactly how much DS was drinking. H could take DS places without me. Sooo. I won't be super sad if I have to EP but I'd like to give Bfing a try again.

We also plan on starting the bedtime routine early on. Last time we would just have DS snooze in the living room with us in the evening and let him sleep in his swing in the living room. Recently, I bought a used halo bassinet and I'm hoping to do bedtime routine, put the babe in the halo in our bedroom in the dark and later put him in his room. We will definitely sleep train earlier if need be as well. DS was an atrocious sleeper for a year until we bit the bullet.

[watermelonseed]

I love this thread.

I will not attempt to BF. It helps I've given away pretty much everything that relates to it.

More self care.

Ask for help and say no to visitors if I need to. I was absolutely overwhelmed last time between a billion hospital visits and coming home on a Friday. I don't even plan to tell people when we leave the hospital 😂

Sleep train earlier. Go out in public sooner with NB. Schedule at least an errand to get out of the house every other day.

I am going to come back to this post for motivational reminders.

[Deleted]

You guys my husband hates sleep training/CIO 😭 I sleep trained DD1 while he was working nights but he switched to days when DD2 was born and refused to let me sleep train her. Maybe what I should do is send him on a two week vacation for DD3...

[jessijean]

sweetsurprise yay! another EPer! People thought I was insane EPing for that long. The pediatrician was impressed! Were you on anything for supply? They had me on reglan last time.

[helloerrbody]

Aug 8, 2017 10:05:18 GMT -6 peachesncream said:

You guys my husband hates sleep training/CIO 😭 I sleep trained DD1 while he was working nights but he switched to days when DD2 was born and refused to let me sleep train her. Maybe what I should do is send him on a two week vacation for DD3...

Oh damn that's hard. If he won't let you sleep train then he should do night duty every night!!!

[readinglove]

Aug 8, 2017 10:05:18 GMT -6 peachesncream said:

You guys my husband hates sleep training/CIO 😭 I sleep trained DD1 while he was working nights but he switched to days when DD2 was born and refused to let me sleep train her. Maybe what I should do is send him on a two week vacation for DD3...

We didn't do CIO for sleep training because I'm a wuss. DS fussed some, but that was about it. We did more of the long goodbye type stuff with him.

[maddisonrose]

With DS I had post ppd and terrible post party's anxiety that I still deal with. Thinking back on his first year literally breaks my heart and haunts me all the time. Everything was so different than what I had thought or envisioned motherhood to be like and was mostly just stress and panic attacks. This time around I'm really hoping I can be more diligent in self care and positive coping strategies. I want to be able to slow down my brain and just come back to soaking up all of the really special moments of having a newborn/infant. I want to make self care a priority (even though I still suck at it now) and not let myself get too scared to leave the house with a baby. I'm aiming to exclusively pump but have no things about switching to formula if need be. DS was the most amazing baby for me as I completely lost it and had no issues sleeping through the night, feeding, etc. So all in all I'm hopeful that maybe this time around it can be a bit of a healing process for me and I can enjoy a bit more of it

[amesie]

Aug 8, 2017 7:07:30 GMT -6 mrsp84 said:

As for the paci-I have mixed feelings. DD is completely attached to her three fingers on her right hand. She has since she was about 6 mo old. I tried the paci for a while and it wasn't something she was interested in. I almost wish she was into the paci because that would have been gone a long time ago. I can't get rid of her fingers. I know that's going to be a hard habit to break. This is coming from someone who may or may not have sucked their thumb well into the 3rd grade 🙈.

I don't like the paci just because it's one more thing I have to make sure I have at all times otherwise it causes a major meltdown. If they lose it in their crib, in the car etc. With fingers, they're always attached so I never had to worry about it.

I could have written this word for word, except DD sucks her thumb and has since 3mo old. And I also sucked my thumb till the 3rd grade 😳

[amesie]

I thought of another one... I've already started this now that DD is 2, but I'm going to give less fucks about what other people think about my parenting. In the beginning, I cared so much about what people thought about how I did or didn't sleep train, how I rocked her to sleep, whether the food I gave her was organic or not, whether I'm discipline too much or not enough. I'm gonna do me and do what works for me and my family

[sweetsurprise]

Aug 8, 2017 10:12:39 GMT -6 jessijean said:

sweetsurprise yay! another EPer! People thought I was insane EPing for that long. The pediatrician was impressed! Were you on anything for supply? They had me on reglan last time.

My supply was amazing, actually. In fact I had an enormous freezer stash which sadly went bad after we had a huge flood and lost electricity for a full day. I literally lost 100 bags of frozen milk. It was devastating.

[helloerrbody]

Aug 8, 2017 13:04:05 GMT -6 amesie said:

Aug 8, 2017 7:07:30 GMT -6 mrsp84 said:

As for the paci-I have mixed feelings. DD is completely attached to her three fingers on her right hand. She has since she was about 6 mo old. I tried the paci for a while and it wasn't something she was interested in. I almost wish she was into the paci because that would have been gone a long time ago. I can't get rid of her fingers. I know that's going to be a hard habit to break. This is coming from someone who may or may not have sucked their thumb well into the 3rd grade 🙈.

I don't like the paci just because it's one more thing I have to make sure I have at all times otherwise it causes a major meltdown. If they lose it in their crib, in the car etc. With fingers, they're always attached so I never had to worry about it.

I could have written this word for word, except DD sucks her thumb and has since 3mo old. And I also sucked my thumb till the 3rd grade 😳

I also sucked my thumb until I was pretty old and I think I'm pretty badass 😜 so I'm not gonna worry if I have a thumb-sucking kid. DS never did it, but I think it's adorable.

[blueskiessmiling]

+whatever to sleep training earlier. I had no idea how miserable I was since DD's sleep was so bad. I enjoy parenting SO much more now that I know I will get a full night's sleep.

I will give myself permission to wean sooner this time. I nursed DD for 18 months and really had wanted her to be the one to end BFing. I eventually decided enough was enough when I felt it was still interfering with her sleep. I'll still shoot for a goal of 12 months this time, but will see how things go.

[amesie]

Aug 8, 2017 20:07:41 GMT -6 helloerrbody said:

Aug 8, 2017 13:04:05 GMT -6 amesie said:

I could have written this word for word, except DD sucks her thumb and has since 3mo old. And I also sucked my thumb till the 3rd grade 😳

I also sucked my thumb until I was pretty old and I think I'm pretty badass 😜 so I'm not gonna worry if I have a thumb-sucking kid. DS never did it, but I think it's adorable.

DD is 2 and she is still sucking strong. She's so stinkin cute when she sucks it so I don't partically care yet. She still looks like my baby when she's snuggled into me sucking her little thumb!

[hedwig]

Sorry second kid, but I know better now

Definitely sleep training earlier, but really trying to get in a sleep routine with putting baby down awake so that sleep training isn't as stressful. We went to a sleep specialist (she's a nurse at one of the large hospitals) at 10 months with DS. She's a legend in my city and almost everyone who's had a baby in the last 20 years has heard of her and most likely gone to her for help. I'm hoping to be able to use my knowledge gained from her, but if I need a new plan, I've got her number ready. Unfortunately it can take up to 2 months to get an appointment. She's that busy.

I BFed DS for 2 years and I loved it, but when he was tiny I was so afraid to give him a bottle because of the chance it might mess up BFing. I'd like to introduce a bottle once BFing is established with this one, and continue to offer a bottle once a week so this baby doesn't forget how to use it. I felt like I could never leave DS, which was super stressful.

I will be checking this baby's mouth as soon as possible for lip and tongue ties. DS, myself, and my dad all have ties, so chances are so will this baby. I want to revise it early, so we won't have issues. DS was revised at 8 weeks and those first 8 weeks killed my nipples.

But, overall, I'd like to try to remain calm and go more with the flow. Be ok with setting the baby down for more than a second. Not stressing about everything. Knowing that this too shall pass.

[wolowizard]

I will try harder to breastfeed. I didn't push trying to get DS to latch and I'm going to try harder. I did EP for nearly 5 months though. I'm trying not to do that though. I respond well to a pump so it worked out for me.

[dragonflyinn]

Aug 8, 2017 21:21:57 GMT -6 hedwig said:

Sorry second kid, but I know better now

Definitely sleep training earlier, but really trying to get in a sleep routine with putting baby down awake so that sleep training isn't as stressful.

We pushed this hard with DD when she was an infant (maybe not newborn but around 2 months), the laying down awake, and it was the best thing ever bc she is the best sleeper! Another thing we did that I will definitely do again is I never bothered with making her room dark during naps. In fact I'd open blinds so it was obviously brighter than nighttime. I think that paid off big time bc now she can go to bed no matter how bright it is outside.

[hedwig]

Aug 9, 2017 8:07:31 GMT -6 dragonflyinn said:

Aug 8, 2017 21:21:57 GMT -6 hedwig said:

Sorry second kid, but I know better now

Definitely sleep training earlier, but really trying to get in a sleep routine with putting baby down awake so that sleep training isn't as stressful.

We pushed this hard with DD when she was an infant (maybe not newborn but around 2 months), the laying down awake, and it was the best thing ever bc she is the best sleeper! Another thing we did that I will definitely do again is I never bothered with making her room dark during naps. In fact I'd open blinds so it was obviously brighter than nighttime. I think that paid off big time bc now she can go to bed no matter how bright it is outside.

DS's window faces the side of our house, so we put black poster board in his window so he'd sleep and none of our neighbors can really see it. Baby #2's window is in the front of our house which faces sw, which means this kid will have no choice but to sleep in bright light. It's good to know that it will help with sleep!

[dragonflyinn]

Aug 10, 2017 13:31:08 GMT -6 hedwig said:

Aug 9, 2017 8:07:31 GMT -6 dragonflyinn said:

We pushed this hard with DD when she was an infant (maybe not newborn but around 2 months), the laying down awake, and it was the best thing ever bc she is the best sleeper! Another thing we did that I will definitely do again is I never bothered with making her room dark during naps. In fact I'd open blinds so it was obviously brighter than nighttime. I think that paid off big time bc now she can go to bed no matter how bright it is outside.

DS's window faces the side of our house, so we put black poster board in his window so he'd sleep and none of our neighbors can really see it. Baby #2's window is in the front of our house which faces sw, which means this kid will have no choice but to sleep in bright light. It's good to know that it will help with sleep!

I'm so thankful for it! My girlfriends kids refuse to go to sleep in the summer bc "it's still light out" (they're 1 and 4). And I'm like goodnight DD byeeee lol.

[hedwig]

Aug 10, 2017 13:35:37 GMT -6 dragonflyinn said:

Aug 10, 2017 13:31:08 GMT -6 hedwig said:

DS's window faces the side of our house, so we put black poster board in his window so he'd sleep and none of our neighbors can really see it. Baby #2's window is in the front of our house which faces sw, which means this kid will have no choice but to sleep in bright light. It's good to know that it will help with sleep!

I'm so thankful for it! My girlfriends kids refuse to go to sleep in the summer bc "it's still light out" (they're 1 and 4). And I'm like goodnight DD byeeee lol.

That's why I'm team crib 4 lyfe. If DS is fussing about going to sleep, into the crib he goes and out the door I go. I fear for the day that he can follow me out.

[sarahh]

DD was such a good sleeper until she figured out how to get out of her crib a month before her 2nd birthday. Now she won't go to sleep or nap. Another issue is that we are still dealing with AC issues so we are all sleeping in one room so she has gotten used to that.

[dragonflyinn]

Aug 10, 2017 13:43:54 GMT -6 sarahh said:

DD was such a good sleeper until she figured out how to get out of her crib a month before her 2nd birthday. Now she won't go to sleep or nap. Another issue is that we are still dealing with AC issues so we are all sleeping in one room so she has gotten used to that.

Praising god that DD (27mo) STILL doesn't know how to climb out of her crib 🙌🏼🙌🏼🙌🏼

[hedwig]

Aug 10, 2017 13:43:54 GMT -6 sarahh said:

DD was such a good sleeper until she figured out how to get out of her crib a month before her 2nd birthday. Now she won't go to sleep or nap. Another issue is that we are still dealing with AC issues so we are all sleeping in one room so she has gotten used to that.

oh no! We dropped DS's mattress all the way to the floor, so he's a little too short to scale the crib yet. His crib is also taller in the back, so if he tries to climb out will flip it around so the tall part is in the front and the shorter part against the wall. Good luck with the sleep and the heat!!!!

[sarahh]

Would it be bad to put a top on the crib so DD will stay in? I'm only partially joking.

Good news is we are getting an entirely new unit next Tuesday. What's another 4 days when you've been without for 39!

[flippinchica]

Aug 10, 2017 13:46:43 GMT -6 dragonflyinn said:

Aug 10, 2017 13:43:54 GMT -6 sarahh said:

DD was such a good sleeper until she figured out how to get out of her crib a month before her 2nd birthday. Now she won't go to sleep or nap. Another issue is that we are still dealing with AC issues so we are all sleeping in one room so she has gotten used to that.

Praising god that DD (27mo) STILL doesn't know how to climb out of her crib 🙌🏼🙌🏼🙌🏼

I am dreading the day DS learns to climb out of his crib.

[dragonflyinn]

Aug 10, 2017 14:11:04 GMT -6 flippinchica said:

Aug 10, 2017 13:46:43 GMT -6 dragonflyinn said:

Praising god that DD (27mo) STILL doesn't know how to climb out of her crib 🙌🏼🙌🏼🙌🏼

I am dreading the day DS learns to climb out of his crib.

I'm sure we will be kicking her out before she figures it out, DNW to buy another crib so she will probably be in a twin bed by Christmas. If all goes to plan haha.