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Post by flippinchica on Aug 7, 2017 15:55:47 GMT -6
If you are already parenting? I know best laid plans and all that but what do you plan to change this time?
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Post by flippinchica on Aug 7, 2017 16:02:06 GMT -6
Introduce a bottle and paci earlier and more frequently. DS didn't take a bottle till about 9 months and it sucked. I felt like a prisoner. This one will be going to daycare earlier but that is because of my job situation. I will be much more pushy about independent sleep and will probably sleep train before I get the the point I'm bursting into tears in public because of exhaustion. DS would only fall asleep by bouncing or nursing and would wake up as soon as I put him down. He napped on me till almost a year. Basically I will be much less "attachment parenting " style. It wasn't good for my sanity.
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lili
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Post by lili on Aug 7, 2017 16:09:57 GMT -6
Good topic!
I'm not going to breastfeed. Breastfeeding makes me kind of nuts/super anxious. A huge part of that is I don't produce a ton and don't respond well to a pump at all. I feel kind of guilty but fed is best, damnit!
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Post by Deleted on Aug 7, 2017 16:18:32 GMT -6
lili hi, life twin! If I were still working full time I am not sure I would attempt because the pump is not my friend. I happen to be working part time and mostly from home so I think I am going to try at least while I can EBF but I am not going to bother with pumping at all. I will be adamant about making this baby take a pacifier! DD2 was never interested and we never pushed it and it has made our lives living hell hahahaha. I will try different brands/kinds with this baby until she takes one, dammit. Other than that I imagine we will be pretty go with the flow but that is how we were with DD2 too. Most naps were on the go, we didn't plan around her. I want to take a vacation on maternity leave again, that was one of my favorite experiences last time. I want to be more active earlier and just try to get myself a little bit healthier. Overall I want to make a point to focus on me and my physical and mental health after DD3 is born, I neglected my self care after each of my previous kids was born.
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amesie
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Post by amesie on Aug 7, 2017 16:26:52 GMT -6
Definitely sleep training sooner! It took me a whole year to reach my breaking point with DD's sleep before I finally attempted sleep training. It took 2 nights and she STTN after that. I kicked myself in the ass a lot for waiting so damn long with her.
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lili
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Post by lili on Aug 7, 2017 16:49:00 GMT -6
Definitely sleep training sooner! It took me a whole year to reach my breaking point with DD's sleep before I finally attempted sleep training. It took 2 nights and she STTN after that. I kicked myself in the ass a lot for waiting so damn long with her. I'm all about that sleep lyfe. I think I sleep trained my DS at like 5 months because I couldn't wait any longer. I lost my mind a bit from lack of sleep with DD and was determined to sleep train ASAP after that.
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clm585
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Post by clm585 on Aug 7, 2017 17:00:23 GMT -6
Definitely sleep training sooner! It took me a whole year to reach my breaking point with DD's sleep before I finally attempted sleep training. It took 2 nights and she STTN after that. I kicked myself in the ass a lot for waiting so damn long with her. +1,000,000. Amen.
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teraiin
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Post by teraiin on Aug 7, 2017 17:14:58 GMT -6
Introduce a bottle and paci earlier and more frequently. DS didn't take a bottle till about 9 months and it sucked. I felt like a prisoner. This one will be going to daycare earlier but that is because of my job situation. I will be much more pushy about independent sleep and will probably sleep train before I get the the point I'm bursting into tears in public because of exhaustion. DS would only fall asleep by bouncing or nursing and would wake up as soon as I put him down. He napped on me till almost a year. Basically I will be much less "attachment parenting " style. It wasn't good for my sanity. +1 on the bottle and pacifier!
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Post by readinglove on Aug 7, 2017 17:35:30 GMT -6
Good question!
I think I'm going to try BFing again, but not beat myself up if my supply sucks like it did with DS. I'll also break up with the pump sooner if needed.
+whatever to sleep stuff. This one will be sleep trained much sooner.
And focusing on self-care. Working out, eating well, taking time to recharge when needed. I'm really bad at that, and need to get better. I'll finish my Master's degree in May, so that will free up an assload of time. Most of the spring semester I'll be on maternity leave, so that will also help.
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Post by tiffrobot on Aug 7, 2017 17:39:17 GMT -6
We might try cloth diapering this time in an effort to save some money. As for actual parenting styles lol..it will be our 3rd under the age of 5 I feel like we just need to survive 😂
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pippiann
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Post by pippiann on Aug 7, 2017 17:45:51 GMT -6
I had a bottle problem too! We broke the bfing rules and introduced a bottle early on and M took it and had no problems with the breast. Bfing was very easy for me sooo I didn't keep up with the bottle and he wouldn't take one at all since he was 2 months old. I want this one to def take a bottle and I will keep up with at least one bottle a day. Also I will offer a paci, but i am Not going to force it, if he takes it cool but if not whatever at least I won't have something else to wean him from. +1 to sleep training earlier, the lack of sleep was really tough no my marriage.
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Post by helloerrbody on Aug 7, 2017 18:00:34 GMT -6
Good question! I think I'm going to try BFing again, but not beat myself up if my supply sucks like it did with DS. I'll also break up with the pump sooner if needed. +whatever to sleep stuff. This one will be sleep trained much sooner. And focusing on self-care. Working out, eating well, taking time to recharge when needed. I'm really bad at that, and need to get better. I'll finish my Master's degree in May, so that will free up an assload of time. Most of the spring semester I'll be on maternity leave, so that will also help. I was diagnosed with IGT this last go-round (insufficient glandular tissue) after my son wasn't gaining weight and I tried literally everything to improve supply to no avail. I was so upset about my low supply and had a rough time coming to terms with it. This time I will still breast feed, but I will supplement from the get-go and will do my best to be in a much better headspace about my shitty supply. I am also hoping to be better about infant sleep routines but I'm not holding my breath lol. I ended up co-sleeping with DS until we sleep-trained at 6.5 months.
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dragonflyinn
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Post by dragonflyinn on Aug 7, 2017 18:06:06 GMT -6
Push the paci more! I was freaked out it would mess up BF-ing and I didn't want to deal with getting rid of paci eventually so I just didn't really care when DD wouldn't take it. I ended up wishing she did bc so many meltdowns could have been avoided. I'm not one of those who likes to use the boob as a paci so I just sort of suffered through it all. We will see if I actually do this though bc DD got attached to her lovey at 3mo and that has been our lifesaver so I may just do that again.
I'll definitely pump more. Our insurance didn't cover pumps last time around so I got a cheap hand pump which was fine but I wish we had a bigger stash for date nights. Since I'll be working two mornings a week this year I'll need more stored anyway. Our insurance covers the good ones now so I'll get one of those.
In general, I know I'll be much more relaxed about some things and just as buckled down about others. Good sleeping habits are key for me, DD thrived on a routine with eating & sleeping so I'll try the same for #2. I know just by nature of having a toddler too, our schedule will have to be more flexible so I will have to just go with that.
I'll probably end up babywearing this one more than I did DD. I love babywearing but didn't have a carrier I loved until DD was about one.
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Post by sunfrogger on Aug 7, 2017 18:06:08 GMT -6
I will get baby to nap not on me for the first 4-6 months. I obv won't be able to lounge around with a newborn this time so.
I will be nursing again, it's something I am passionate about (but not one of those "never formula people, no worries).
I will not bother trying to make my own baby food, jarred (organic) is fine.
I will do BLW introduction to solids again.
I want to be better about self care.
That's all I got so far. I just plan to stay the course with baby #2.
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Post by rebeccabunch on Aug 7, 2017 18:07:08 GMT -6
Good thread idea!
Against the grain here, but I'm NOT going to offer the paci unless nothing else is working. DNW to have to break that habit, have them on hand, I'm weird about them falling etc.
Introduce formula earlier. I didn't with DS1 but did with DS2 at 9 months when I kept getting mastitis. It was such a mental relief to not be the only milk type food source.
Try the crib at night early and often!
Take the bottle away sooner. DS2 may or may not get a bottle of whole milk still before bed. 🙈
Try to see the good through the crazy moments because if everything works out, this will be our last baby!
ETA after I read @sunfroggers post do BLW again this time. We were forced to bc DS2 would not eat purées at all. It ended up being much easier and enjoyable.
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Post by readinglove on Aug 7, 2017 18:11:11 GMT -6
helloerrbody We supplemented from the get-go as well. DS was a big baby (10 pounds 11 ounces), so his glucose levels were monitored after birth and it took a few days to get him up where he needed to be. Super curious about the diagnosis... how did that happen? I was lucky to get 4 ounces in 24 hours pumping, and tried everything under the sun to increase my supply.
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Post by Deleted on Aug 7, 2017 18:36:42 GMT -6
rebeccabunch how old is your DS2? DD2 also gets a bottle of whole milk to go to sleep, she is 17 months. I dilute it half and half with water but I still feel guilty about it 🙈🙈 she is our crappy sleeper so I don't plan on changing anything anytime soon!
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teraiin
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Post by teraiin on Aug 7, 2017 19:08:20 GMT -6
I still want to BF and will do my best. But with twins to nurse and a toddler to chase I'm not going to let myself set myself up for failure. If we need to supplement or when we do I am going to be okay with it.
I need all of us happy and healthy.
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Post by rebeccabunch on Aug 7, 2017 19:31:50 GMT -6
rebeccabunch how old is your DS2? DD2 also gets a bottle of whole milk to go to sleep, she is 17 months. I dilute it half and half with water but I still feel guilty about it 🙈🙈 she is our crappy sleeper so I don't plan on changing anything anytime soon! I'm not telling you! Let's just say your DD2 is well within normal range as far as I'm concerned and we are a year past you +. I'm even more embarrassed now that I'm typing this and you thought 17 months was bad! He's our bad sleeper too which is always our weak excuse!
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Post by Deleted on Aug 7, 2017 19:34:29 GMT -6
rebeccabunch how old is your DS2? DD2 also gets a bottle of whole milk to go to sleep, she is 17 months. I dilute it half and half with water but I still feel guilty about it 🙈🙈 she is our crappy sleeper so I don't plan on changing anything anytime soon! I'm not telling you! Let's just say your DD2 is well within normal range as far as I'm concerned and we are a year past you +. I'm even more embarrassed now that I'm typing this and you thought 17 months was bad! He's our bad sleeper too which is always our weak excuse! No need to be embarassed, my whole point was that I won't mind if she does it until she's in grade school hahahaha! Whatever it takes!
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Post by flippinchica on Aug 7, 2017 19:42:45 GMT -6
I had a bottle problem too! We broke the bfing rules and introduced a bottle early on and M took it and had no problems with the breast. Bfing was very easy for me sooo I didn't keep up with the bottle and he wouldn't take one at all since he was 2 months old. I want this one to def take a bottle and I will keep up with at least one bottle a day. Also I will offer a paci, but i am Not going to force it, if he takes it cool but if not whatever at least I won't have something else to wean him from. +1 to sleep training earlier, the lack of sleep was really tough no my marriage. I could have written this.
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Post by marygracerich on Aug 7, 2017 20:02:19 GMT -6
Nothing. I had a unicorn baby. She was formula fed from the start because I had almost no supply. She slept through the night at 6 weeks and gave up the bottle 4 days before her 1st birthday. This baby is going to be the exact opposite and just thinking about it gives me nightmares.
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Post by benandjerrys on Aug 7, 2017 20:35:03 GMT -6
This is an interesting thought. I feel like I need to really reflect on it.
One thing I know is that from the beginning with M I let her fuss a little before picking her up and started to lay her down awake at 3 weeks old. We never needed to sleep train she almost always went into her crib awake and mostly happy. But motn was a different story. I was too sleep deprived to let her fuss I just wanted to feed her and get her back to sleep asap. That resulted in motn sleep training which sucked because I'm not a good parent motn.
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Post by jessijean on Aug 7, 2017 21:30:49 GMT -6
I'm so happy to read some of these. You guys make me feel so normal! DS napped on my lap until well after his 1st birthday, closer to 18 months. As you see in my other posts, we still randomly do that still.
So I'm sad I will not have that with this baby but that's life with two kids I suppose.
I exclusively pumped for 11.5 months with DS and I just don't see that as realistic for baby #2. I will definitely do my best but will not beat myself up if it doesn't work out. I'm really not sure how I'm going to pump with a toddler around....
I'm just hoping not to be so anxious with this one.
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lili
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Post by lili on Aug 7, 2017 21:32:31 GMT -6
This is an interesting thought. I feel like I need to really reflect on it. One thing I know is that from the beginning with M I let her fuss a little before picking her up and started to lay her down awake at 3 weeks old. We never needed to sleep train she almost always went into her crib awake and mostly happy. But motn was a different story. I was too sleep deprived to let her fuss I just wanted to feed her and get her back to sleep asap. That resulted in motn sleep training which sucked because I'm not a good parent motn. I think babies become different creatures in the middle of the night. I don't know that she didn't sleep well because of something you did or didn't do. I think that's just babies.
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Post by benandjerrys on Aug 8, 2017 5:44:43 GMT -6
This is an interesting thought. I feel like I need to really reflect on it. One thing I know is that from the beginning with M I let her fuss a little before picking her up and started to lay her down awake at 3 weeks old. We never needed to sleep train she almost always went into her crib awake and mostly happy. But motn was a different story. I was too sleep deprived to let her fuss I just wanted to feed her and get her back to sleep asap. That resulted in motn sleep training which sucked because I'm not a good parent motn. I think babies become different creatures in the middle of the night. I don't know that she didn't sleep well because of something you did or didn't do. I think that's just babies. I also become a different creature in the middle of the night.
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mrsp84
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Post by mrsp84 on Aug 8, 2017 7:02:03 GMT -6
I was not successful with BFing DD. Mostly because I was completely naive in thinking you just put the baby on the boob and voila! Not so much. My nipples are flat so latching was difficult. We were in the hospital for 2 days prior to her birth so I was exhausted and desperate for sleep. The nurses wanted me to hand pump colostrum out into a spoon and use a syringe to feed her that way. That last 2 feedings and I told them to bring me the formula. I hadn't slept in at least 48 hours so I needed a break.
Having BTDT, I do want to give it another go. I want to get a better pump and now I'm more informed so I feel like that could work to my advantage. I also know that if it doesn't work, it's ok if I switch to formula. I was so hard on myself because of the breast is best stigma that I was literally going crazy trying to keep up with it.
Other than that, I plan on basically doing things the same way. DD was STTN at 6 weeks and I made sure to differentiate between day and night real fast. We did take a lot of naps together in the morning and she'd lay on my chest to sleep. I know I won't get that down time this time.
Oh! One more thing: I plan on getting out of the house sooner than I did with DD. I was so nervous to go out in public because I wasn't prepared to deal with a crying baby. This time, I need to get out for my own sanity.
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mrsp84
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Post by mrsp84 on Aug 8, 2017 7:07:30 GMT -6
As for the paci-I have mixed feelings. DD is completely attached to her three fingers on her right hand. She has since she was about 6 mo old. I tried the paci for a while and it wasn't something she was interested in. I almost wish she was into the paci because that would have been gone a long time ago. I can't get rid of her fingers. I know that's going to be a hard habit to break. This is coming from someone who may or may not have sucked their thumb well into the 3rd grade 🙈.
I don't like the paci just because it's one more thing I have to make sure I have at all times otherwise it causes a major meltdown. If they lose it in their crib, in the car etc. With fingers, they're always attached so I never had to worry about it.
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Post by tiffbabey on Aug 8, 2017 7:24:54 GMT -6
I breastfed DS for 15 months, but used a nipple shield the whole time. Looking back, it was because he has a tongue and lip tie and wasn't able to latch, and it should have been caught by someone, but wasn't until we switched pediatricians when he was a year. We are going with a different hospital this time because of the way the previous one handled breastfeeding and sent us home with a practically starving baby because my milk hadn't come in and they wanted me to do the syringe feeding colostrum with only a hand pump. It was quite a traumatic first night home because all he would do was scream. We used formula for about a day until my milk came in, but the experience could have been avoided if the hospital didn't act like formula was evil.
We were also given a lot of grief when he wasn't gaining weight the way he should have been after I stopped breastfeeding. He's just a very skinny, tall boy who takes after his dad, but it caused a lot of stress around his eating that I hope to avoid if the next one is the same way.
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dragonflyinn
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Post by dragonflyinn on Aug 8, 2017 7:37:02 GMT -6
I will also stress less about the size of my baby. DD has always been around 5-10th percentile, at some points as low as 3rd. Her doctors were never worried, she was content & happy, passing all her developmental milestones. But I was constantly stressed about it, especially when she didn't hit any of the "regular" growth spurts at their "regular" times. Well she turned one and gained three pounds that month. She's still 10th percentile but perfect.
So this next time if I make another tiny baby I will try not to freak out so much haha.
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