How to politely say....

[icedcoffee]

Sept 18, 2024 10:20:03 GMT -6 McBenny said:

Sept 18, 2024 10:13:07 GMT -6 icedcoffee said:

Not the point but I'm shocked there are young people smoking cigs in their house in 2024. Like even the hard core smokers I know haven't smoked in their house in years

Again this must be regional. I know many smokers who smoke different things and none of them exclusively smoke where? Outside.

No.

Interesting. I know people who smoke weed and they smoke in their house but not any inside cig smokers. Not even during the winter months

[blurnette989]

Sept 18, 2024 10:19:06 GMT -6 McBenny said:

I would just come out and say:

I would greatly appreciate if you could avoid smoking in the basement as it blows into my home. Anywhere else doesn't seem to be an issue.

I agree with rvasc that if they smoke outside you need to close your windows.

I agree with this and would also just add that you have tried somethings to mitigate and it isn't working.

So you are both direct and to show you have tried something so you aren't a completely ridiculous person.

Also fully be prepared for them to treat you like a completely ridiculous person for asking. Best to be prepared for the worst.

[roselab]

Sept 18, 2024 11:00:07 GMT -6 blurnette989 said:

Sept 18, 2024 10:19:06 GMT -6 McBenny said:

I would just come out and say:

I would greatly appreciate if you could avoid smoking in the basement as it blows into my home. Anywhere else doesn't seem to be an issue.

I agree with rvasc that if they smoke outside you need to close your windows.

I agree with this and would also just add that you have tried somethings to mitigate and it isn't working.

So you are both direct and to show you have tried something so you aren't a completely ridiculous person.

Also fully be prepared for them to treat you like a completely ridiculous person for asking. Best to be prepared for the worst.

I have to admit, I am someone who loathes being around cigarette smoke.  I have asthma (likely because my mom smoked when she was pregnant with me) and my mom smoked for a while when I was little and I just grew up HATING it so much.  But I still think you are a completely ridiculous person for asking.  
I mean, I get that it sucks for you and I'm sorry you're dealing with it, but I just don't think you have the right to ask someone to change their behavior in their own home.  There is a chance they will feel bad, that they were smoking inside because they thought it would contain the smell more than smoking outside would, etc., but I think there's a much bigger chance they will laugh in your face and then purposefully smoke in areas that will affect you.  

[rvasc]

Sept 18, 2024 13:12:57 GMT -6 roselab said:

Sept 18, 2024 11:00:07 GMT -6 blurnette989 said:

I agree with this and would also just add that you have tried somethings to mitigate and it isn't working.

So you are both direct and to show you have tried something so you aren't a completely ridiculous person.

Also fully be prepared for them to treat you like a completely ridiculous person for asking. Best to be prepared for the worst.

I have to admit, I am someone who loathes being around cigarette smoke.  I have asthma (likely because my mom smoked when she was pregnant with me) and my mom smoked for a while when I was little and I just grew up HATING it so much.  But I still think you are a completely ridiculous person for asking.  
I mean, I get that it sucks for you and I'm sorry you're dealing with it, but I just don't think you have the right to ask someone to change their behavior in their own home.  There is a chance they will feel bad, that they were smoking inside because they thought it would contain the smell more than smoking outside would, etc., but I think there's a much bigger chance they will laugh in your face and then purposefully smoke in areas that will affect you.  

I disagree. I think when you share walls it is totally within reason to ask. The closer you are in proximity to your neighbors, the more you have to modify your behavior. They can definitely say no, but “in your own home” has limits. Can you stand nude in a window in your own home across the street from a school? No. Can you play loud music all night in an apartment? No. If you ask in a nice way, my experience is that people generally are kind in response even if it’s a no. 

[Cher]

Sept 18, 2024 13:12:57 GMT -6 roselab said:

Sept 18, 2024 11:00:07 GMT -6 blurnette989 said:

I agree with this and would also just add that you have tried somethings to mitigate and it isn't working.

So you are both direct and to show you have tried something so you aren't a completely ridiculous person.

Also fully be prepared for them to treat you like a completely ridiculous person for asking. Best to be prepared for the worst.

I have to admit, I am someone who loathes being around cigarette smoke.  I have asthma (likely because my mom smoked when she was pregnant with me) and my mom smoked for a while when I was little and I just grew up HATING it so much.  But I still think you are a completely ridiculous person for asking.  
I mean, I get that it sucks for you and I'm sorry you're dealing with it, but I just don't think you have the right to ask someone to change their behavior in their own home.  There is a chance they will feel bad, that they were smoking inside because they thought it would contain the smell more than smoking outside would, etc., but I think there's a much bigger chance they will laugh in your face and then purposefully smoke in areas that will affect you.  

What?

Secondhand smoke causes cancer. I would not want myself or my kids to breathe that in on a daily basis. Nothing ridiculous about that.

[hugsfordrugs]

This is for a county in California but it gives good general advice of what to do in this situation.

sonomacounty.ca.gov/health-and-human-services/health-services/divisions/public-health/tobacco-prevention/guidelines-for-tenants-drifting-smoke

[cnf]

Sept 18, 2024 10:13:07 GMT -6 icedcoffee said:

Not the point but I'm shocked there are young people smoking cigs in their house in 2024. Like even the hard core smokers I know haven't smoked in their house in years

I'm here too. Young people smoking cigarettes, especially inside their homes? All the youths just vape now.

[McBenny]

Sept 18, 2024 13:12:57 GMT -6 roselab said:

Sept 18, 2024 11:00:07 GMT -6 blurnette989 said:

I agree with this and would also just add that you have tried somethings to mitigate and it isn't working.

So you are both direct and to show you have tried something so you aren't a completely ridiculous person.

Also fully be prepared for them to treat you like a completely ridiculous person for asking. Best to be prepared for the worst.

I have to admit, I am someone who loathes being around cigarette smoke.  I have asthma (likely because my mom smoked when she was pregnant with me) and my mom smoked for a while when I was little and I just grew up HATING it so much.  But I still think you are a completely ridiculous person for asking.  
I mean, I get that it sucks for you and I'm sorry you're dealing with it, but I just don't think you have the right to ask someone to change their behavior in their own home.  There is a chance they will feel bad, that they were smoking inside because they thought it would contain the smell more than smoking outside would, etc., but I think there's a much bigger chance they will laugh in your face and then purposefully smoke in areas that will affect you.  

She has nothing to lose by asking at this point. 

The only part that was throwing me off was the outside was bothering her too. I am a person that likes to give an option or options in cases like this. Like hey, smoking outside or anywhere but the basement etc. 

[McBenny]

Sept 18, 2024 14:43:51 GMT -6 Cher said:

Sept 18, 2024 13:12:57 GMT -6 roselab said:

I have to admit, I am someone who loathes being around cigarette smoke.  I have asthma (likely because my mom smoked when she was pregnant with me) and my mom smoked for a while when I was little and I just grew up HATING it so much.  But I still think you are a completely ridiculous person for asking.  
I mean, I get that it sucks for you and I'm sorry you're dealing with it, but I just don't think you have the right to ask someone to change their behavior in their own home.  There is a chance they will feel bad, that they were smoking inside because they thought it would contain the smell more than smoking outside would, etc., but I think there's a much bigger chance they will laugh in your face and then purposefully smoke in areas that will affect you.  

What?

Secondhand smoke causes cancer. I would not want myself or my kids to breathe that in on a daily basis. Nothing ridiculous about that.

If we keep it a buck roselab didn't say she found cancer and 2nd hand smoke ridiculous. She was speaking to the asking someone to change their behavior in their own home. 

I just want to point that out before the narrative changes and it becomes roselab finds cancer funny or some shit cause you know how it goes down here. 

[thechickencoop]

Sept 18, 2024 15:12:57 GMT -6 hugsfordrugs said:

This is for a county in California but it gives good general advice of what to do in this situation.

sonomacounty.ca.gov/health-and-human-services/health-services/divisions/public-health/tobacco-prevention/guidelines-for-tenants-drifting-smoke

Oh this is really great, thank you.

[Cher]

Sept 18, 2024 16:26:07 GMT -6 McBenny said:

Sept 18, 2024 14:43:51 GMT -6 Cher said:

What?

Secondhand smoke causes cancer. I would not want myself or my kids to breathe that in on a daily basis. Nothing ridiculous about that.

If we keep it a buck roselab didn't say she found cancer and 2nd hand smoke ridiculous. She was speaking to the asking someone to change their behavior in their own home. 

I just want to point that out before the narrative changes and it becomes roselab finds cancer funny or some shit cause you know how it goes down here. 

To clarify, I didn’t read her as finding cancer ridiculous.

I read her finding someone ridiculous for asking someone else to change their behavior at home.

My point was it’s not ridiculous to ask if this behavior could impact my families’ health.

[wasabi]

Sept 18, 2024 13:12:57 GMT -6 roselab said:

Sept 18, 2024 11:00:07 GMT -6 blurnette989 said:

I agree with this and would also just add that you have tried somethings to mitigate and it isn't working.

So you are both direct and to show you have tried something so you aren't a completely ridiculous person.

Also fully be prepared for them to treat you like a completely ridiculous person for asking. Best to be prepared for the worst.

I have to admit, I am someone who loathes being around cigarette smoke.  I have asthma (likely because my mom smoked when she was pregnant with me) and my mom smoked for a while when I was little and I just grew up HATING it so much.  But I still think you are a completely ridiculous person for asking.  
I mean, I get that it sucks for you and I'm sorry you're dealing with it, but I just don't think you have the right to ask someone to change their behavior in their own home.  There is a chance they will feel bad, that they were smoking inside because they thought it would contain the smell more than smoking outside would, etc., but I think there's a much bigger chance they will laugh in your face and then purposefully smoke in areas that will affect you.  

I find this a sad take. I would absolutely care if what I was doing in my home affected my neighbors.

If I was chicken’s neighbor and she came to me with this exact scenario, I would 100% find another place to smoke so it didn’t affect her family. I do agree that it’s their right (although I think Cher made a good point in her original post here), but I find it sad that it would be laughable for someone to consider their place as the smoker in this situation.

[SweetPotato]

Sept 18, 2024 18:00:31 GMT -6 wasabi said:

Sept 18, 2024 13:12:57 GMT -6 roselab said:

I have to admit, I am someone who loathes being around cigarette smoke.  I have asthma (likely because my mom smoked when she was pregnant with me) and my mom smoked for a while when I was little and I just grew up HATING it so much.  But I still think you are a completely ridiculous person for asking.  
I mean, I get that it sucks for you and I'm sorry you're dealing with it, but I just don't think you have the right to ask someone to change their behavior in their own home.  There is a chance they will feel bad, that they were smoking inside because they thought it would contain the smell more than smoking outside would, etc., but I think there's a much bigger chance they will laugh in your face and then purposefully smoke in areas that will affect you.  

I find this a sad take. I would absolutely care if what I was doing in my home affected my neighbors.

If I was chicken’s neighbor and she came to me with this exact scenario, I would 100% find another place to smoke so it didn’t affect her family. I do agree that it’s their right (although I think Cher made a good point in her original post here), but I find it sad that it would be laughable for someone to consider their place as the smoker in this situation.

Yeah it takes a straight up dick to do it on purpose to bother a neighbor

[kayc]

Nothing wrong with asking! A loooonnnng time ago DH and I lived in a condo and were smokers (we’ve long since quit). Anyways, we used to smoke only out on our balcony and our neighbor politely mentioned it drifted over to her when we smoked in a certain area of the balcony and if we could please move to the other side when we smoked. So we did, and all was fine. Hopefully your neighbors are reasonable people and willing to make some minor changes to help!

[roselab]

Sept 18, 2024 19:23:19 GMT -6 SweetPotato said:

Sept 18, 2024 18:00:31 GMT -6 wasabi said:

I find this a sad take. I would absolutely care if what I was doing in my home affected my neighbors.

If I was chicken’s neighbor and she came to me with this exact scenario, I would 100% find another place to smoke so it didn’t affect her family. I do agree that it’s their right (although I think Cher made a good point in her original post here), but I find it sad that it would be laughable for someone to consider their place as the smoker in this situation.

Yeah it takes a straight up dick to do it on purpose to bother a neighbor

I guess this is my commentary on humanity at this point.  I don't trust/expect people to not be dicks if I don't know them and already know they aren't.  

[McBenny]

Sept 18, 2024 18:00:31 GMT -6 wasabi said:

Sept 18, 2024 13:12:57 GMT -6 roselab said:

I have to admit, I am someone who loathes being around cigarette smoke.  I have asthma (likely because my mom smoked when she was pregnant with me) and my mom smoked for a while when I was little and I just grew up HATING it so much.  But I still think you are a completely ridiculous person for asking.  
I mean, I get that it sucks for you and I'm sorry you're dealing with it, but I just don't think you have the right to ask someone to change their behavior in their own home.  There is a chance they will feel bad, that they were smoking inside because they thought it would contain the smell more than smoking outside would, etc., but I think there's a much bigger chance they will laugh in your face and then purposefully smoke in areas that will affect you.  

I find this a sad take. I would absolutely care if what I was doing in my home affected my neighbors.

If I was chicken’s neighbor and she came to me with this exact scenario, I would 100% find another place to smoke so it didn’t affect her family. I do agree that it’s their right (although I think Cher made a good point in her original post here), but I find it sad that it would be laughable for someone to consider their place as the smoker in this situation.

I think the COVID pandemic should have taught all of us that at the heart of it all, people do not want to be inconvenienced. People want to do what they want to do and when they want to do it. They will come up with any scenario or any excuse to justify their actions. 

So, while I find it commendable that you say you would change your behaviors in your home so as not to affect a neighbor, I don't think that is the norm at all. 

[angelashly]

Sept 19, 2024 9:55:43 GMT -6 McBenny said:

Sept 18, 2024 18:00:31 GMT -6 wasabi said:

I find this a sad take. I would absolutely care if what I was doing in my home affected my neighbors.

If I was chicken’s neighbor and she came to me with this exact scenario, I would 100% find another place to smoke so it didn’t affect her family. I do agree that it’s their right (although I think Cher made a good point in her original post here), but I find it sad that it would be laughable for someone to consider their place as the smoker in this situation.

I think the COVID pandemic should have taught all of us that at the heart of it all, people do not want to be inconvenienced. People want to do what they want to do and when they want to do it. They will come up with any scenario or any excuse to justify their actions. 

So, while I find it commendable that you say you would change your behaviors in your home so as not to affect a neighbor, I don't think that is the norm at all. 

Covid for sure made this in your face.

We lived in an apartment for a while and people smoked all the time. We said something to the landlord when they asked about it because they said others complained and we were told that they would talk to them but ultimately couldn’t tell them they couldn’t do it and unfortunately we were in a shared building so we had to deal or move and that was paying rent.

In the end it doesn’t hurt to ask after you have done all you can to try and mitigate the smell in your house

I get it I’m sensitive to the smell and it would be hard to be comfortable in my house if I had to smell it

[spicysalmonroll]

thechickencoop, any update?

[thechickencoop]

Sept 27, 2024 7:57:04 GMT -6 spicysalmonroll said:

thechickencoop, any update?

Hahaha omg no. I've been *chickening* out 🙄 but I keep thinking every day will be the day!

I did buy a medium sized hepa home air purifier that really does seem to make a difference in the basement, but I've been leaving it running almost 24/7 so I guess thats expected. So I think my plan now is I'm gonna see how it goes with that for the next week or 2 and THEN shoot them a text like, hey I've done x y and z now and it still smells!