Sympathy gift ideas for grieving men

[grumpycakes]

My childhood BFF’s mom is in hospice care right now. She lives with her husband (80ish yo) and her son (50ish yo). My friend group has got BFF covered as far as sympathy gifts but we’d like to send something to her father and brother as well when the time comes. I work close to their house and have asked if a food drop off would be helpful but BFF says they’re basically already drowning in casseroles. What’s something else we can do whether it’s physically going there to help or sending gifts cards, etc? What am I not thinking of?

Also is there anything I can do to help my BFF that she might want but not want to ask for? She lives 500 miles away from her parents so she’s traveling for these final moments, the funeral, etc and she has 2 kids under 5. I live very close to her family so I could potentially be physically there to help in a way she can’t but I don’t typically hang out with their family so it’s not like I can just insert myself in their household dynamics either.

[spicysalmonroll]

If you can, I would def offer to take the kids at key moments when she might want privacy with her mom or a minute to herself to process or whatever.
For the men, maybe gift baskets of non-perishables if they are already receiving meals right now gift baskets that have like nuts or other snacks that they don't need to eat right this minute.

[sweptaway]

If food is covered maybe grocery gift cards or restaurant gift cards for later. Can you offer to do laundry, mow the lawn or take another household chore off their hands ?

[DGM]

Laundry crossed my mind too and if that's too weird for them, offer to take it to a fluff and fold place?

I'm sorry your BFF is going through this and just know no matter what you do, big or small, she will know you love her. When my dad passed away last year, it was amazing how much my brothers' friends stepped up to help them and my mom. I am the one 500 miles away with little kids and felt so helpless at times even though they all reassured me taking care of my little ones needed to be my priority.

[gimmeaQ]

Fresh fruits, like a fruit tray or basket or alternative fresh/healthy food that they can just grab.

I stole this idea from someone, but once I had Panera deliver to a funeral home for the immediate family in their private room. That was HUGELY appreciated. I wasn’t local, so I called the funeral home in advance to arrange

[grumpycakes]

Thanks everyone! I did end up sending a basket of shelf stable snacks that hopefully they can dig into whenever the mood strikes. I also offered to provide the food for the gathering at their house after the funeral and help out with childcare. Thank you for the ideas!