Older kid bed wetting help me

[Yogurt]

So my almost 9 year old daughter has never been night time "potty trained". She stopped day time diapers before or right around 2 years old. I knew overnight dryness came later and it can't really be "trained", it's more like a body maturity thing? So here is the deal...

She is about to be in 4th grade. She has worn pull ups until a few months ago. We ditched the pull ups because we speculated that maybe it was just convenient to not get up and just pee in the pull up. (I now know this is not true.) She also feels humiliated by them because her younger brother has been over night dry for such a long time. (He didn't potty train at all until like 4, but once it clicked he was overnight dry too at like the same time.)

So when we ditched the pull ups, we switched to those washable bed pad things that you can lay on. Problem is, she pees so much that everything is soaked down to the mattress. Mattress has a waterproof cover, so the actual mattress is dry, but 3 layered bed pads (spread around so her bed is covered) plus the sheets and mattress cover are soaked through. I'm doing full bed linen washing like 5 times a week. And she feels like shit about it.

I don't want her medicated unnecessarily, and I will ask her pediatrician but...what would you do?

Go back to pull ups? Keep doing this constant bed washing? I don't limit her liquids after dinner, but I make her pee right before bed. Maybe I do need to limit the liquids? I will start there I guess.
Thank you!

[eurydice]

2 of my kids wet the bed until almost 10. We used pull-ups all that time because I didn’t want to be washing bedding every day.

2 things that helped:

1. Because he also started having daytime accidents, we took DS1 to a urologist. Turns out, even though he was having regular BMs, he was super backed up and it was putting pressure on his bladder. Daily Miralax helped cure that.

2. For both of my kids, we used a bedwetting alarm that clips to the underwear and sounds an alarm and vibrates to wake the kid up as soon as it senses wetness. Idk why this works but it does. Since they were older, they were able to handle getting up when the alarm went off and going to the bathroom and changing their underwear without my help. I bought the alarm on Amazon. It really only took a couple of weeks and we never had a problem again.

[GhoatMonket]

Most of the kids in my family have at least somewhat regular accidents until they are 12. The frequency usually goes down, but it's just what it is.

I would bring it up with her pedi to get it on record so that when it is concerning, it's not a surprise, and in case they have something else that might be a cause (like the example of being constipated causing the issue).

I would start with limiting liquids after dinner.

[Yogurt]

Jul 7, 2024 13:13:05 GMT -6 eurydice said:

2 of my kids wet the bed until almost 10. We used pull-ups all that time because I didn’t want to be washing bedding every day.

2 things that helped:

1. Because he also started having daytime accidents, we took DS1 to a urologist. Turns out, even though he was having regular BMs, he was super backed up and it was putting pressure on his bladder. Daily Miralax helped cure that.

2. For both of my kids, we used a bedwetting alarm that clips to the underwear and sounds an alarm and vibrates to wake the kid up as soon as it senses wetness. Idk why this works but it does. Since they were older, they were able to handle getting up when the alarm went off and going to the bathroom and changing their underwear without my help. I bought the alarm on Amazon. It really only took a couple of weeks and we never had a problem again.

Huh, so the alarm thing...I would think a night pee would be like full flood gates opening, not just a trickle to set off the alarm where there is still time to get up. That's interesting.
You know...she does not poop daily. Maybe there is something to the constipation theory

[piratecat]

I would start with the pediatrician but if it’s not a medical issue could you try waking her up to pee once after she goes to bed, like when you’re going to bed? I know that’s a technique some people use to “night train” kids and maybe that will at least cut down on the frequency or even the amount of bed wetting to a point the mats can handle and you’re not having to wash everything every night?

[Yogurt]

Jul 7, 2024 14:26:46 GMT -6 piratecat said:

I would start with the pediatrician but if it’s not a medical issue could you try waking her up to pee once after she goes to bed, like when you’re going to bed? I know that’s a technique some people use to “night train” kids and maybe that will at least cut down on the frequency or even the amount of bed wetting to a point the mats can handle and you’re not having to wash everything every night?

You know, I always check on the kids before I go to bed, and twice this past week she has already wet by that point. This makes me think that limited liquid after dinner may help her process it all through by 9 pm. But that is something I will try, instead of just checking on her, I'll make her get up and pee

[piratecat]

Jul 7, 2024 14:36:41 GMT -6 Yogurt said:

Jul 7, 2024 14:26:46 GMT -6 piratecat said:

I would start with the pediatrician but if it’s not a medical issue could you try waking her up to pee once after she goes to bed, like when you’re going to bed? I know that’s a technique some people use to “night train” kids and maybe that will at least cut down on the frequency or even the amount of bed wetting to a point the mats can handle and you’re not having to wash everything every night?

You know, I always check on the kids before I go to bed, and twice this past week she has already wet by that point. This makes me think that limited liquid after dinner may help her process it all through by 9 pm. But that is something I will try, instead of just checking on her, I'll make her get up and pee

After she’s wet the bed before 9, is she then able to stay dry until morning? Or are there multiple accidents?

[Yogurt]

Jul 7, 2024 14:46:19 GMT -6 piratecat said:

Jul 7, 2024 14:36:41 GMT -6 Yogurt said:

You know, I always check on the kids before I go to bed, and twice this past week she has already wet by that point. This makes me think that limited liquid after dinner may help her process it all through by 9 pm. But that is something I will try, instead of just checking on her, I'll make her get up and pee

After she’s wet the bed before 9, is she then able to stay dry until morning? Or are there multiple accidents?

So she goes to bed at 9, I check on her at midnight and that's when she was wet. She has never been wet a second time if she was wet early

[AmyG]

I'd start by waking her up at midnight or maybe 1130 to try to catch it before she goes.
If she complains about waking up to go pee, put it in her mind that limiting drinks in the hour or 2 before bed might be enough to keep from peeing the bed and also having to wake in the night to go to the bathroom.
pee alarms work for lots of kids, so I'd consider it.
also consider that waterproof mattress pad, sheet on top, pee pad, then another waterproof mattress pad, sheet on top and pee pad. It might not fit on there right but might get you back to sleep faster.

[leahcar]

What time does she go to bed? I am surprised she’s already wet at 9. Is she reliably going right before bed? If so, I try to walk her up before 9. And definitely limit liquids after dinner. Summer is the best time to try that IMO; you’ll have more ability to monitor her drinking earlier in the day so she still gets enough.

My girls were younger, but we had the weird sibling dynamics of the younger being night trained first. I woke up my oldest up to pee for probably a solid year. It was twice (9 and 10:30ish) for a month or so and then just the 10:30 one. (That was my own bedtime- I just picked her up and sat her over the potty, then plopped her back in bed. She touched nothing so I’d wash my own hands and go to bed). It’s not ideal, but easier than that much laundry.

I hope you find something that works!

[AmyG]

Oh also do a thing where she goes pee, then gets ready for bed, then tries to go again
sometimes 3 times with something small in between each try will get it all out

[jaygee]

When we talked the pediatrician about this after DS went from being overnight dry for about a year to having frequent bed wetting, she suggested Metamucil to start. She said constipation is the most common reason this happens (pushes on the bladder) and the first thing a urologist will need to rule out. So she said try that for a month and if it doesn’t resolve, she would refer us. It worked and we’ve never had to go back to it.

[kayc]

My nephew wet the bed at night until he was about 8 or 9-the alarm thing mentioned earlier is what finally resolved it for him! Good luck, hope you find something that helps.

[Yogurt]

Jul 7, 2024 16:36:16 GMT -6 leahcar said:

What time does she go to bed? I am surprised she’s already wet at 9. Is she reliably going right before bed? If so, I try to walk her up before 9. And definitely limit liquids after dinner. Summer is the best time to try that IMO; you’ll have more ability to monitor her drinking earlier in the day so she still gets enough.

My girls were younger, but we had the weird sibling dynamics of the younger being night trained first. I woke up my oldest up to pee for probably a solid year. It was twice (9 and 10:30ish) for a month or so and then just the 10:30 one. (That was my own bedtime- I just picked her up and sat her over the potty, then plopped her back in bed. She touched nothing so I’d wash my own hands and go to bed). It’s not ideal, but easier than that much laundry.

I hope you find something that works!

So she goes to bed at 9. She isn't wet at 9. I make her pee at 9 before bed and then when I go to bed at midnight-ish, I've already missed the window apparently and she has been wet twice by midnight. I like the idea of me waking her up, but I thought that was almost like that thing where people claim their their 6 month old is potty trained, but it's really just the adult putting the kid on the toilet at the right time. But I'm down to try whatever now because her self esteem is taking a major hit

[Yogurt]

Jul 7, 2024 17:29:30 GMT -6 jaygee said:

When we talked the pediatrician about this after DS went from being overnight dry for about a year to having frequent bed wetting, she suggested Metamucil to start. She said constipation is the most common reason this happens (pushes on the bladder) and the first thing a urologist will need to rule out. So she said try that for a month and if it doesn’t resolve, she would refer us. It worked and we’ve never had to go back to it.

After realizing she doesn't poop every day, I think I will try one of these constipation medicines too. Metimucil is just like fiber, right?

[clucky]

Jul 7, 2024 20:20:41 GMT -6 Yogurt said:

Jul 7, 2024 17:29:30 GMT -6 jaygee said:

When we talked the pediatrician about this after DS went from being overnight dry for about a year to having frequent bed wetting, she suggested Metamucil to start. She said constipation is the most common reason this happens (pushes on the bladder) and the first thing a urologist will need to rule out. So she said try that for a month and if it doesn’t resolve, she would refer us. It worked and we’ve never had to go back to it.

After realizing she doesn't poop every day, I think I will try one of these constipation medicines too. Metimucil is just like fiber, right?

Jumping in here because my poop issue kid is still taking meds to keep regular. He does ex-lax and miralax (but store brand) every day. Miralax isn't as thick tasting, if she doesn't like the taste or texture of metimucil. We mix ours with watered down apple juice, lemonade or a sports drink. Ex-lax is helpful to get things moving, but if you try it, start with a 1/2. My kid sees a GI specialist, so it has been a journey.

[imapenguin]

Jul 7, 2024 20:20:41 GMT -6 Yogurt said:

Jul 7, 2024 17:29:30 GMT -6 jaygee said:

When we talked the pediatrician about this after DS went from being overnight dry for about a year to having frequent bed wetting, she suggested Metamucil to start. She said constipation is the most common reason this happens (pushes on the bladder) and the first thing a urologist will need to rule out. So she said try that for a month and if it doesn’t resolve, she would refer us. It worked and we’ve never had to go back to it.

After realizing she doesn't poop every day, I think I will try one of these constipation medicines too. Metimucil is just like fiber, right?

One of my 6 year olds eats a prune with breakfast every morning after realizing that chronic constipation was causing accidents (hers were daytime accidents). It took a month or so for it to fully resolve but now she’s super regular and accidents are incredibly rare.

[jaygee]

Jul 7, 2024 20:20:41 GMT -6 Yogurt said:

Jul 7, 2024 17:29:30 GMT -6 jaygee said:

When we talked the pediatrician about this after DS went from being overnight dry for about a year to having frequent bed wetting, she suggested Metamucil to start. She said constipation is the most common reason this happens (pushes on the bladder) and the first thing a urologist will need to rule out. So she said try that for a month and if it doesn’t resolve, she would refer us. It worked and we’ve never had to go back to it.

After realizing she doesn't poop every day, I think I will try one of these constipation medicines too. Metimucil is just like fiber, right?

I think we actually did miralax like the other posters mentioned now that I think about it.

DS was about 5 or 6 and he rarely pooped at home so I had to ask him if he pooped daily at school and he was not a reliable reporter.

[brux]

Years ago, we had a lot of success with the Therapee system. It’s a bed alarm combined with basically a sticker chart and videos.

I kept waiting for DS to grow out of bed wetting, but it turns out that he’s just a kid who has to get up to pee in the middle of the night and he was sleeping too deeply to figure that out on his own without the coaching.

[Yogurt]

I'm going to get her up tonight and see what happens 🤞

[AmyG]

Jul 7, 2024 22:19:56 GMT -6 Yogurt said:

I'm going to get her up tonight and see what happens 🤞

It's not like the potty training.
It's you helping her to rouse herself out of a deep sleep to go pee and usually after a few days week or so she should start to wake on her own to do it. Usually that's how it works. Not always
But hey if I needed dh to wake me up before he goes to bed to remind me to go pee that wouldn't be a bad thing either.

[Yogurt]

I woke her up, she peed and she woke up dry. It will be so amazing if this solves my problem

[clucky]

Jul 8, 2024 14:34:14 GMT -6 Yogurt said:

I woke her up, she peed and she woke up dry. It will be so amazing if this solves my problem

Hopefully that helps her. Growing up, one of my friends said her dreams would sometimes be so real and she would have accidents. Talking about her dreams helped her realize her "pinch me am I dreaming" moments. Just something else to consider if she isn't waking to use the toilet. 

[edubs]

Jul 7, 2024 22:15:47 GMT -6 brux said:

Years ago, we had a lot of success with the Therapee system. It’s a bed alarm combined with basically a sticker chart and videos.

I kept waiting for DS to grow out of bed wetting, but it turns out that he’s just a kid who has to get up to pee in the middle of the night and he was sleeping too deeply to figure that out on his own without the coaching.

Therapee was a god send. DS was six when we used it. He went from the occasional dry night to having no accidents within six weeks. Despite him being such a deep sleeper, he is now able to wake himself up.

www.bedwettingtherapy.com

It looks like they are having a 35% off sale.

[mapleme]

FWIW, I wet the bed until I was 9. My parents tried all kinds of things, but one day it just fixed itself.

[addymac]

Jul 13, 2024 15:56:26 GMT -6 mapleme said:

FWIW, I wet the bed until I was 9. My parents tried all kinds of things, but one day it just fixed itself.

Same. I think I was closer to 10.
My parents would wake me up / carry me to the bathroom before they went to bed around midnight and had the mattress pads but one day it just stopped.

[brux]

Jul 13, 2024 15:31:55 GMT -6 edubs said:

Jul 7, 2024 22:15:47 GMT -6 brux said:

Years ago, we had a lot of success with the Therapee system. It’s a bed alarm combined with basically a sticker chart and videos.

I kept waiting for DS to grow out of bed wetting, but it turns out that he’s just a kid who has to get up to pee in the middle of the night and he was sleeping too deeply to figure that out on his own without the coaching.

Therapee was a god send. DS was six when we used it. He went from the occasional dry night to having no accidents within six weeks. Despite him being such a deep sleeper, he is now able to wake himself up.

www.bedwettingtherapy.com

It looks like they are having a 35% off sale.

yes! I was so surprised at how well it worked.