milano
Emerald
Posts: 10,914 Likes: 36,993
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Post by milano on Jul 30, 2017 7:11:44 GMT -6
Can we have a discussion about this wonderful/annoying social media outlet? Do you use it? How do you choose who you are friends with? Do you ever de-friend people? What's your policy on posting photos of your kids? What about the 'sharing' feature? Do you let others post/share photos of your kids?
I'm finding that Facebook is starting to cause me some anxiety and anger because I feel like no one knows what in my mind is just "common sense decency" as to what should be shared, posted, friend requests, etc. Esp when it comes to my kids. So I've been using more instagram as of late and considering just nixing FB for awhile/forever. But I'm curious to hear others stories and opinions. Because I like FB and use it to keep up with people that I care about, but I am very stringent about my friends list and get pretty irritated when family members 'share' posts that I put up of my kids. Even though I have it set so that whatever I post can only ever be seen by my friends, even if one of my friends shares it. And it freaks me out that you can easily save anyone's FB pictures to your phone, wtf is up with that FB?
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mc13
Sapphire
Posts: 3,414 Likes: 12,121
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Facebook.
Jul 30, 2017 7:37:48 GMT -6
via mobile
Post by mc13 on Jul 30, 2017 7:37:48 GMT -6
I totally get the frustration! I'm on Facebook to keep up with friends and that's it. I regularly defriend people that I have I spoken to and keep my list tight. DH has a Facebook but is literally never on it. We don't post pictures of the kids for mostly your reasons. I don't like that I can't completely control whole sees/shares the photos. I do use Instagram regularly - but have a private profile and that friends list is even smaller. I know people can screenshot pics if they really wanted but there's no direct way to share them. I only keep a few photos with the kids in them then delete the older ones - kinda like on here. I post then a week or so later delete.
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Facebook.
Jul 30, 2017 7:53:52 GMT -6
via mobile
Post by critter015 on Jul 30, 2017 7:53:52 GMT -6
I use it. I am only friends with people I actually know irl. Mostly family and friends from high school/college. I have it set so only my friends can see my stuff and most people I'm friends with seem to be contentious, aside from MIL trying to share my stuff with her mom (I blocked her mom because she was sharing my profile picture since she couldn't see anything else 🙄) I also have an aunt who isn't all there mentally and she will go back and share pictures from years earlier, but that is just mildly annoying. I mostly use it to share pictures with my extended family, so maybe I should switch to instagram.
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Post by ovenrack on Jul 30, 2017 8:10:00 GMT -6
I post photos of my kids,l on FB, but am not friends with anyone (family or otherwise) who would post photos without my consent. Or share photos. Even A's crazy aunts know to ask first.
If they did share, I would explain that I won't allow it without asking first.
I use instagram much more.
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milano
Emerald
Posts: 10,914 Likes: 36,993
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Post by milano on Jul 30, 2017 8:27:04 GMT -6
I get really mad when someone share photos that I post. Even though I know that by them sharing no one new can see it. It's the principle.
However, if we spend several days with my parents and my mom puts up some pictures with my kids to recap the week it doesn't bother me as much. Which seems dumb of me? I don't know. I feel like my reactions make no sense.
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milano
Emerald
Posts: 10,914 Likes: 36,993
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Post by milano on Jul 30, 2017 8:28:02 GMT -6
And the people who I struggle with photo sharing are grandparents...like my and MH 80+ year old grandparents. So that's a weird situation anyway.
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milano
Emerald
Posts: 10,914 Likes: 36,993
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Post by milano on Jul 30, 2017 8:29:31 GMT -6
I use it mostly to keep up with friends and political stuff. I haven't posted anything on my personal page for almost a year. I don't post pictures of my kids and I'm even freaky about having their names on FB. I actually asked my MIL to edit her post she made after the twins were born because she posted their first and middle names. My cousins just had a baby earlier this year and they are the same way. No name, no photos. I kind of wish I would have thought of that from the get-go but it would be too hard for me to stop now.
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Post by charlotte on Jul 30, 2017 8:57:39 GMT -6
I have it but I hate it. I only keep it because we have friends and family all over that we never see, and I like to see what they're up to. I use my maiden name, have taken down all pictures (I think.. fbook is sneaky), and don't make posts. There might be one or two pictures of DS as an infant but I don't like to put pictures of him or personal information up. I hate how Facebook changed it's settings to be more difficult. You used to be able to turn your "wall" completely off so there was nothing to see-- now you can't. I have deleted TONS of people from my friends list- it's only people I actually care about keeping in touch with now. I also have a ton of people "hidden" from my timeline, like family who post political stuff.
I use Instagram to post pictures and I like it much better. My friends list is much smaller. Even then, I don't use DS's name in my posts, post anything about where we live, etc. I sometimes review my Instagram page and go back and delete some posts if I feel like DS is being overexposed on my page or that my post gave out too much info.
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milano
Emerald
Posts: 10,914 Likes: 36,993
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Post by milano on Jul 30, 2017 10:17:01 GMT -6
charlotte I have unfollowed soo many family members. I've had them unfollowed forever and a couple weeks ago I re-followed a lot because I felt that maybe it was obvious. They were all unfollowed again within like 24 hrs. So much political and crazy garbage.
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Post by ovenrack on Jul 30, 2017 10:44:12 GMT -6
Lol. I have a FB album for each kid. Lol. I guess I'm not particularly worried about their identity being stolen from photos and their name? I feel like the opposite of most of you.
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nikkipal
Sapphire
Posts: 2,751 Likes: 8,044
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Facebook.
Jul 30, 2017 11:24:50 GMT -6
via mobile
Post by nikkipal on Jul 30, 2017 11:24:50 GMT -6
I've been on a break from Facebook for a few months now. A lot of things about it make it not particularly good for my mental health, but the poorly sourced, misleading, click bait stories took me over the edge. I don't keep up with what's going on amongst acquaintances as well, but I've been trying to focus on meaningful irl relationships. I am glad to be back here.
Before, I tried to be careful about what photos I posted of M, and I asked my mom not to post pic without my permission.
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rugger
Amethyst
Posts: 5,768 Likes: 14,536
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Post by rugger on Jul 30, 2017 12:16:22 GMT -6
Lol. I have a FB album for each kid. Lol. I guess I'm not particularly worried about their identity being stolen from photos and their name? I feel like the opposite of most of you. I'm right there with you
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Post by chickypoo2468 on Jul 30, 2017 12:23:59 GMT -6
If you set your privacy settings right then your friends can share your posts all they want, but no one will see. They would have to literally save it and share it.
I unfriend people all the time. If you don't talk to me ever or make any effort at being friends then I will delete you.
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kona
Gold
Posts: 656 Likes: 1,446
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Post by kona on Jul 30, 2017 12:29:44 GMT -6
I haven't deleted my account but I unfriended everyone. I also took the app off my phone and iPad. So basically I never check it anymore because too lazy to get to a computer.
I don't miss it at all. I do find it annoying that I now get emails from FB. '100 people like this picture in this group!' They are relentless.
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Post by charlotte on Jul 30, 2017 12:33:30 GMT -6
kona hmm I never get emails from them. I wonder if that's a setting you can change? I freely admit I am OTT uptight about social media because of some scary security issues we have had with it in the past.
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stringy
Opal
Posts: 8,306 Likes: 22,157
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Post by stringy on Jul 30, 2017 13:16:23 GMT -6
Ok I haven't read anything. I have zero problems with other people sharing or posting my kids. Meaning no one really does it so it's not a worry. Occasionally a relative if all the kids are together.
Sometimes I go through and make sure photos are on friends only. And I'm a little more careful about the public cover photo.
I'm currently just kind of over the general feed altogether. The same 10 people post the same crap and I'm sick of direct sales.
But I have a few groups that I value and/or rely on so I don't want to cancel. I heard there's a "group's" app but haven't tried it.
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Post by CurlieWhirlie on Jul 30, 2017 16:47:59 GMT -6
Lol. I have a FB album for each kid. Lol. I guess I'm not particularly worried about their identity being stolen from photos and their name? I feel like the opposite of most of you. This is me. I am pretty breezy about sharing photos on social media. I don't do it a ton, but I don't worry too much about it. I have a friend who is strictly no-photos-no-names with her kids, and she exclusively uses IG. Even there, she'll only post photos of her kids at a distance or from behind, or she'll privately share photos of them with a group of close friends.
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Post by linewifekat on Jul 30, 2017 17:50:10 GMT -6
I don't post pictures of my kids on Facebook and I have an Aunt that posts pictures all the time and when we're together she asks oh this one is of the back of her head can I post this one?! It's so annoying. I'm a little more lenient with instagram. It just seems more private to me.
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Post by chickypoo2468 on Jul 30, 2017 17:53:42 GMT -6
I thought instagram was less private?
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Post by ovenrack on Jul 30, 2017 19:01:57 GMT -6
I thought instagram was less private? Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk You can set instagram to private so you have to approve each person who wants to follow you (see any photos).
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milano
Emerald
Posts: 10,914 Likes: 36,993
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Post by milano on Jul 30, 2017 19:02:45 GMT -6
I mean, I'm not totally paranoid because I share photos of my kids on here. I delete them all every so often.
I just would never put a photo up of someone else's kid without their parent's permission so it shocks me that others do with my kids. And the sharing makes me madder because I shared that photo with my specific group of friends, so don't like, just try to share it with the rest of Facebook.
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Post by CurlieWhirlie on Jul 30, 2017 19:03:45 GMT -6
I thought instagram was less private? Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk You can have a private account on IG (people can't just follow you, they must request and be accepted). And while you can have the same privacy settings on FB, it is more complicated and convoluted, and people on FB can share your images with others, while on IG that is not an option. Plus you can't download other peoples' images from IG like you can on FB (you can always screenshot, though, nothing can stop that). But really, no social media is totally "safe" or "private."
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milano
Emerald
Posts: 10,914 Likes: 36,993
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Post by milano on Jul 30, 2017 19:03:48 GMT -6
I thought instagram was less private? Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk If you have a public instagram account then you have zero privacy. Mine is private so have to approve anyone who wants to follow me.
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Post by chickypoo2468 on Jul 30, 2017 19:07:50 GMT -6
I thought instagram was less private? Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk You can set instagram to private so you have to approve each person who wants to follow you (see any photos). But you can do that with fb too Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
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Post by chickypoo2468 on Jul 30, 2017 19:10:07 GMT -6
I thought instagram was less private? Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk You can have a private account on IG (people can't just follow you, they must request and be accepted). And while you can have the same privacy settings on FB, it is more complicated and convoluted, and people on FB can share your images with others, while on IG that is not an option. Plus you can't download other peoples' images from IG like you can on FB (you can always screenshot, though, nothing can stop that). But really, no social media is totally "safe" or "private." You can't share someone's images on fb when their profile is private. I mean, you can hit "share" but no one will see it. Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
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Post by ovenrack on Jul 30, 2017 20:01:50 GMT -6
You can set instagram to private so you have to approve each person who wants to follow you (see any photos). But you can do that with fb too Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk It's just more convoluted on FB. IG has no separate settings or certain restricted groups or whatever. Just public (whole world) or private (only people you choose). Also, people's nosy/obnoxious in-laws appear to be on instagram less. Hah.
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Post by mintyblueair on Jul 30, 2017 20:02:57 GMT -6
I've never had a Facebook account (or Instagram, Twitter, etc.). There is nothing about it that appeals to me and it seems that most of the people who use it, hate it or have issues with it in some way or another.
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Post by ovenrack on Jul 30, 2017 20:16:58 GMT -6
For the record, I like Facebook and instagram! I have few in-laws and I don't stand for nonsense or politics I don't like. "Unfollow," "unfriend," easy peasy.
I value it for communities like this one, and keeping in touch with family.
If it's stressing you out, don't do it, for sure.
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Post by Dramaphile on Jul 31, 2017 7:49:50 GMT -6
Lol. I have a FB album for each kid. Lol. I guess I'm not particularly worried about their identity being stolen from photos and their name? I feel like the opposite of most of you. I'm on team OR, Nugget is all over my Facebook, I feel like if people wanted to save photos of kids of weird purposes, there are billions of photos of kids out there on the internet already. I do try and post photos Friends-only and I don't post naked photos, but our lives are out there anyway and I don't feel like I need to hide her away. But to each their own, I totally respect if people want to limit their kids' photos being out there on social media.
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stringy
Opal
Posts: 8,306 Likes: 22,157
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Post by stringy on Jul 31, 2017 8:47:21 GMT -6
Y'all should just get on snapchat. Then the photo goes away in 24 hours and tells you if someone screen shots it.
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