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Post by miawallace on Dec 12, 2023 15:15:56 GMT -6
Dump your holidays not so happy feels in here. TW if need be.
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angelashly
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Post by angelashly on Dec 12, 2023 15:21:19 GMT -6
TW:cancer
We found out a week and a half ago that my aunt who is more like a second mom to me and grandma to dd is losing her cancer battle and hospice has been brought in. We got to see her last week and she actually has been eating more which is good so we are holding out hope we get to see her for Christmas (her absolute favorite holiday). We are all sad and dd just has had to much loss in the last 2 years with my fil and bil.
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Post by miawallace on Dec 12, 2023 15:26:08 GMT -6
Like I mentioned in the randoms thread. It’s been a heavy month. I’m spoilering my heavy stuff. TW - cancer and death So my aunt is succumbing to cancer. The downward spiral was sudden and I’m kind of devastated over it. We are basically waiting for the call and we will be heading over to Mexico for the funeral and burial. I want to punch all the things. So that puts holiday plans on a tbd basis. Not sure what we are going to do. it’s really a day to day thing right now. I haven’t really told the kids bc I am waiting to see what happens.
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Post by miawallace on Dec 12, 2023 15:26:38 GMT -6
Omg angelashly we are living the same life right now 😭
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angelashly
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Post by angelashly on Dec 12, 2023 15:28:53 GMT -6
Omg angelashly we are living the same life right now 😭 ((Hugs)) and hairpats and everything because it is the worst! I hate that you are dealing with it too and that it was sudden. We luckily got more years than we thought with her so I need to hold on to that
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Post by miawallace on Dec 12, 2023 15:34:33 GMT -6
Omg angelashly we are living the same life right now 😭 ((Hugs)) and hairpats and everything because it is the worst! I hate that you are dealing with it too and that it was sudden. We luckily got more years than we thought with her so I need to hold on to that TW - cancer etc. She was going through chemo and we all were just rallying for her and this last round kicked her ass where she had to stop. The downward spiral after that has been really fast. My mom has been traveling every weekend to help care for her and just be with her. This is her oldest sister. Anyway, I’ve had my luggage ready for a couple days now. My H and kids are staying behind. All this might fall around Christmas too. 😭
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sterling
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Post by sterling on Dec 12, 2023 15:34:39 GMT -6
I’m sorry miawallace and angelashly. Nothing in comparison, but I take the kids to their dad’s Sunday and they’ll be with him until after new year’s. It’s fine, it’ll be good to have a break I guess, but it still sucks to be away from them for so long and makes Christmas really a different experience for me. I’m trying to lean in and make this week magical but it’s only sort of working.
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Kida
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Post by Kida on Dec 12, 2023 15:37:05 GMT -6
I'm so sorry you both are going through that. I very recently just lost my aunt who was like a mom to me to pancreatic cancer. It went really fast. From discovery to death was 1 month.
I'm in the middle of a divorce and just had to upheave mine and dd's life. We just moved cities and nothing feels like a holiday right now.
Just stress and loneliness.
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Post by nevertoomanyshoes on Dec 12, 2023 15:37:11 GMT -6
Fuck cancer, I’m sorry miawallace and angelashly. 10 years ago, on Christmas Day my mum told me she had cancer (lymphoma), she beat it, but now has unrelated breast cancer. It was caught fairly early but will have a long multistep treatment process and just sucks.
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Post by coconutbacon on Dec 12, 2023 15:38:05 GMT -6
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Post by ponyhairs on Dec 12, 2023 15:44:41 GMT -6
I'm here too. TW and all that. {Spoiler}My H has taken a dramatic turn in the past week and is in the hospital and is mostly unresponsive. Telling my 12 yr old that her daddy is dying was the literal worst thing I have ever done. We are trying to decide if we try and bring him home and have hospice come in or if we keep him in the hospital. I ordered him a Christmas present and it arrived yesterday, and I want to take it to my backyard and set it on fire. miawallace and angelashly I'm so very sorry. General FUCK CANCER.
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trueblue
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Post by trueblue on Dec 12, 2023 15:45:39 GMT -6
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Post by miawallace on Dec 12, 2023 15:48:22 GMT -6
ponyhairs I’m so sorry. How devastating for you both.
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angelashly
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Post by angelashly on Dec 12, 2023 15:49:24 GMT -6
((Hugs)) and hairpats and everything because it is the worst! I hate that you are dealing with it too and that it was sudden. We luckily got more years than we thought with her so I need to hold on to that TW - cancer etc. She was going through chemo and we all were just rallying for her and this last round kicked her ass where she had to stop. The downward spiral after that has been really fast. My mom has been traveling every weekend to help care for her and just be with her. This is her oldest sister. Anyway, I’ve had my luggage ready for a couple days now. My H and kids are staying behind. All this might fall around Christmas too. 😭 I am so sorry 😞
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angelashly
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Post by angelashly on Dec 12, 2023 15:50:48 GMT -6
I’m sorry miawallace and angelashly. Nothing in comparison, but I take the kids to their dad’s Sunday and they’ll be with him until after new year’s. It’s fine, it’ll be good to have a break I guess, but it still sucks to be away from them for so long and makes Christmas really a different experience for me. I’m trying to lean in and make this week magical but it’s only sort of working. Ugh that is so hard. It’s ok to feel sad and I hope you get your magical week.
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Kida
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Post by Kida on Dec 12, 2023 15:52:46 GMT -6
I'm so sorry sterling I completely understand the feeling. ponyhairs I'm so sorry that you're going through that, it must be devastating.
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angelashly
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Post by angelashly on Dec 12, 2023 15:53:36 GMT -6
ponyhairs I am so so sorry for you and your dd and h. No one should have to deal with that. How does your daughter feel about him coming home? We brought my dad home when he was on hospice and honestly at 18 I less grateful because I got to be comfortable and with him at all times and could say the things I wanted to say more comfortable because I was at home if that makes any sense.
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Kida
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Post by Kida on Dec 12, 2023 15:53:47 GMT -6
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Bookshelves
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Post by Bookshelves on Dec 12, 2023 15:54:21 GMT -6
It has been almost exactly three years since I lost a very close aunt, and last week, lost another (her sister) after a long and awful fight with cancer. Fuck Alzheimer’s (the first one), fuck cancer. They were both like spirits of Christmas so we’re all doing our best to carry on the way they’d want us to, but definitely have some competing emotions this year.
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Post by ponyhairs on Dec 12, 2023 15:55:29 GMT -6
Christmas cards are starting to arrive, and I told my MIL that I needed her to go through the mail and take them out. I just can't see one more "wishing you a happy and healthy 2024" message with a smiling family photo. I know that sounds really childish and selfish but #selfcare.
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Bookshelves
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Post by Bookshelves on Dec 12, 2023 15:55:30 GMT -6
Omg angelashly we are living the same life right now 😭 I’m wrapping you both in a group hug right now.
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Kida
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Post by Kida on Dec 12, 2023 15:55:52 GMT -6
Bookshelves I'm so sorry for your losses. My mother and aunt that are both gone, were the same. They loved Christmas and nothing is the same without them.
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angelashly
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Post by angelashly on Dec 12, 2023 15:55:52 GMT -6
Fuck cancer, I’m sorry miawallace and angelashly. 10 years ago, on Christmas Day my mum told me she had cancer (lymphoma), she beat it, but now has unrelated breast cancer. It was caught fairly early but will have a long multistep treatment process and just sucks. ((Hugs))
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Bookshelves
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Post by Bookshelves on Dec 12, 2023 15:56:14 GMT -6
ponyhairs So sorry, and I am keeping you in my thoughts.
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angelashly
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Post by angelashly on Dec 12, 2023 15:56:22 GMT -6
Christmas cards are starting to arrive, and I told my MIL that I needed her to go through the mail and take them out. I just can't see one more "wishing you a happy and healthy 2024" message with a smiling family photo. I know that sounds really childish and selfish but #selfcare. Not childish at all. Do whatever you need to
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angelashly
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Post by angelashly on Dec 12, 2023 15:57:22 GMT -6
It has been almost exactly three years since I lost a very close aunt, and last week, lost another (her sister) after a long and awful fight with cancer. Fuck Alzheimer’s (the first one), fuck cancer. They were both like spirits of Christmas so we’re all doing our best to carry on the way they’d want us to, but definitely have some competing emotions this year. ((Hugs)) Take the time to feel those feels you have and then do your Christmas thing!
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byjove
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Post by byjove on Dec 12, 2023 15:58:25 GMT -6
A very big fuck cancer to this whole thread. Sending hugs and hair pats to everyone <3
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Post by ponyhairs on Dec 12, 2023 15:59:22 GMT -6
ponyhairs I am so so sorry for you and your dd and h. No one should have to deal with that. How does your daughter feel about him coming home? We brought my dad home when he was on hospice and honestly at 18 I less grateful because I got to be comfortable and with him at all times and could say the things I wanted to say more comfortable because I was at home if that makes any sense. We haven't had the conversation with her yet. We are still trying to see if we can get him stable enough to even come home and once we have more clarity on that we will have the conversation with her. I had a zoom meeting with her teacher and school counselor and the principal yesterday and I'm very grateful that they are being so wonderful and supportive.
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Post by Rusty Red on Dec 12, 2023 16:01:53 GMT -6
My mom being here is making me more and more unhappy and it's adding a taint (hehe) to a holiday that already stresses me.
Yes, yes, I know, I let her stay.
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Post by Rusty Red on Dec 12, 2023 16:02:04 GMT -6
Also huge hugs to all.
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